Chapter 2

With Earl safely behind me, we crossed over into Arkansas and headed for home. The roads were crooked enough so he really didn't have much of a chance to pass. Once we hit the gravel roads, he had to slow way down to keep from laying the hog down. We turned up the dirt road to my place and I hit the remote to open the electronic gate. Once I saw he was safely through, I closed with a push of the button. I knew the alarms were going off back at my place, I couldn't turn off the sensors that detect any vehicles that might come up the road. I had 5 minutes to get back and turn off the sensors so the mines wouldn't go off.

In case you haven't guessed, I am more than a bit paranoid about my privacy. Once someone starts down the road in any vehicle, there is a 5-minute delay before explosive charges start to detonate. Most of them are harmless concussion charges until you get around the house. Then I have some "mild" claymore type charges to discourage anyone from attempting to snoop around. There are also some trip wire type charges set if anyone decides to come in from the lake on foot.

The locals all know about them and don't bother me. The sheriff and state police also know about them and if they need to talk to me, always call so I can turn them off. I have signs around the place saying "ABSOLUTELY NO TRESPASSING - THIS PROPERTY IS MINED - ALL SURVIVORS WILL BE PROSECUTED TO THE FULLEST EXTENT OF THE LAW." Anybody else, I don't give a shit about. I'll just feed them to the fish or dump them someplace distant from my place and let the hogs have a feast.

Occasionally, some stupid teenager will accept a dare and try to ride up the road after dodging the gate. They all turn around and beat it the hell out of there by the second explosion. Nobody has gone past two charges going off. I know; I can watch them on the video cameras as they run their ass off trying to keep it from being blown off.

We got to the house and I opened the door and switched off the alarms and mines and got us each a Dos Equis. Earl was used to my paranoia and was mostly amused by it.

I picked up the phone and called Sally and Bridget. Unfortunately, neither one of them answered. It was their Mother.

In my best teenaged voice I blurted out, "is, um, Sally there?"

I heard her lay the phone down and shout, "Sally, some dickhead is on the phone for you."

"Hey, this is Sally."

"Hey, I know, how you doin'?"

"Oh shit, I thought it was someone from school. I'm doin' fine but I sure do miss your good lovin'."

"I take it you Mom ain't within hearin' distance."

"Nope, she's outside with some guy she picked up and his booze."

"You and Bridget feel like a party tonight?"

"You feelin' horny enough to handle both of us?"

"Always, but I got a buddy with me tonight. I figured maybe Bridget could take care of him."

"Ya, that's cool. I mean he's not an uggo or anything is he?"

"Naw, he's not that bad. A couple years younger than me. He was in 'Nam with me."

"Cool, will he tell some war stories? You know how that turns Bridget on."

"Well, he don't like to talk too much about it, but maybe with the right kind of persuasion."