Chapter 19

(Twelve to thirteen years earlier)

Everything was in place for Dex to enjoy a storybook Senior year. He was on his way to being a wealthy young man. His home life couldn't be better. He was near the top of his class. His basketball team was favored to make it to State again. He did not have a regular girlfriend, but he could easily get a date at a moment's notice. He was not getting sex on a regular basis, but for a seventeen-year-old, that was not a tragedy.

The basketball season started off as promised, with the team easily winning all its non-conference games. More than any other year, Dex was having pure fun on the court. His serious, undemonstrative demeanor had not changed, but he was much more congenial and gregarious before and after games.

Dex's firm college decision did not stop the flood of phone calls. It got so bad that Mike installed a second line and distributed the number only to friends and family. The answering machine on the first line was given a curt message declaring that Dex was no longer available if the caller was a recruiter. All calls on the first line were screened. Four different times, college assistant coaches waited outside the locker room after games. Dex was polite, but would not give them any time.

The metro area sports press went through a frenzy of decrying Dex's decision. The common theme was that it was a waste of talent that should be on national display. Several pointed out that Dex's high-speed, slashing style of play would be a mismatch in the Princeton-style control game used by Addison's coach.

Very few things could cause Dex to lose his cool, but an attack on his family was one sure thing. The sports reporter for the leading local TV station did a spot inferring that Mike and Karen were guilty of bad parenting for not steering Dex to a major school. Judy Morrison, the reporter who had helped Dex with the Schantz encounters, had given him her home number. As soon as he saw the TV spot, he called her, offering an on-screen rebuttal on her station, a competitor to the offending reporter.

At 11:30 that night, Judy arived with a cameraman, and Dex did the interview. In response to one question he said "I read and hear a lot of hand-wringing about how sports has become nothing but a business, and there is no pure fun anymore. Well, (he named the reporter) is a perfect example of the problem. He seems to think anything but getting on a top ten team is a failure or chickening out. He must have no idea of how sports could fit in with other things in a fulfilling life."

"I love basketball. I will play it anytime, anywhere, against anybody, and enjoy it thoroughly. I don't play just to see my name on ESPN, or land an NBA contract. Maybe you can only understand if you love sports for its own sake."

"As for his comments about my Aunt and Uncle - I know for a fact that he has never met them. He has no idea of the hours they have spent helping me weigh all the factors in my decision. I certainly hope he is better at sports reporting than he is at family counseling. If this is an example of his journalistic standards, we may not even be getting our sports news straight."

This was the hardest-hitting part of the interview. Judy was almost peeing her pants with excitement after they taped the interview. She had first suggested her channel's sports guy do the spot, but Dex insisted it had to be her. The station ran it on four different news spots the next day, and there was lots of viewer feedback.

The offending reporter apologized on the air and tried to make amends with Dex. Dex told him curtly on the phone that he had crossed the line, and he would give him no more interviews.

By the first of the year, Jenny was at the top of the country music world, and everyone associated with Doggerel was reaping the benefits. After repayment by Karen and Mike, Donna, and Coach, Dex's investment had tripled. He worked out an agreement to sell back all but 5% of his ownership for his original money plus 20%. He felt guilty receiving so much of Doggerel's profits just because he happened to have the money through no effort of his own. Chris was at first reluctant to accept Dex's offer, but Dex pointed out that they could need all the available profits to stay in business if Jenny's popularity lagged at some point.

In late March, Dex again stood at the State Tournament and accepted his All-Tournament award. His team received the runner-up trophy, a bitter disappointment at the time, but a huge achievement for his school. He also repeated his All-State selection. He was grateful when national letter of intent signing day came, as the flood of recruiting phone calls and attempted visits finally ended.

As Dex stepped off the platform after receiving his diploma in late May, he thought back to his arrival at the Ferguson's. Mike had been determined that Dex have a high school experience he would remember fondly, and Mike's wishes had come true. Certainly, Dex was happy to be through with High School, but not because he was fleeing a negative environment. Many of his best memories from the period had little to do with school, but together, his various experiences constituted a positive foundation for the next stage of his life.

Dex once again worked at the brokerage firm for the summer. This year, he had been assigned to the research department, where he was exposed to the information the firm used to make recommendations to its clients. His time in research was very enlightening. The volume of information available and the skill the researchers employed analyzing it were impressive. The scarcity of automated tools for financial data analysis, though, he found surprising. Also surprising, and disturbing to Dex, was the widespread cynicism of the research staff.

By carefully following the recommendations from research through for a few weeks, Dex knew that they were accurate a very high percentage of the time. The reason for the cynicism was that the brokers too often ignored the recommendations and counseled clients from their own opinions. Quite often, this generated more fees for the brokers, but not always better profits for the clients.

Early in the summer, Dex got together with Coach and explained the problems involved in analyzing the masses of data. With Coach's training in statistics and Dex's growing interest, they brainstormed ideas on possible computer systems to automate data handling and improve presentation of results. They would get together regularly throughout the summer, eventually coming up with the preliminary design for a commercial product. What they envisioned, unfortunately, was not viable with currently available data acquisition techniques, and was beyond the calculation power of current personal computers. Coach did not have access to the larger scale computers at Addison, so their plans were, for now, put on hold.

Dex hesitated for a couple of weeks before addressing his other concern. Finally, he got together for lunch with Gerald Archer and explained the problems he had observed with brokers and research recommendations. Gerald, being a highly ethical executive, was not happy about the possible abuse of client trust. He did not take any action immediately, though. Instead, he assigned Dex to a special project to track broker transactions against research findings. The firm's mainframe computer held all the transaction data, and Dex was given access to it.

A few days later, Dex went to Gerald's office, and told him about Coach and their analysis product ideas. After some discussion, Coach was hired as a consultant, and he and Dex had the computer resources they needed to explore their ideas. Their first priority was to address Gerald's concerns, and they were able to give him some actionable data on broker deviations from research recommendations. Although relatively simple, this project was an excellent starting point for their new venture.

Gerald was appreciative of the heads-up Dex had given him on broker abuses. He was impressed by the analytical results Dex and Coach had generated, and intrigued by the potential of their methods. By the time he started college, Dex was involved with Coach in a private development project with computer resources and some funding supplied by The Archer Group.

By the time summer was half over, Dex was falling in love with Connie. During the school year, he had practically pushed her from his mind. They had very little communication while she was away, and had only dated a few times when she was home. The previous warmth had not been there, and Dex assumed that it was over between them. It had never been a real romance, so he was rather philosophical about it.

He was surprised when Connie showed up at the Fergusons' on her first night home. Dex was upstairs and saw her car pull up. When he opened the door for her, she leaped into his arms and started sobbing uncontrollably. Long after the crying stopped, Dex tried to find out why the tears, but she just shrugged it off as missing him terribly. Part of his mind was troubled that there was something more going on, but she would not budge, and he was too glad to see her to push the issue. After their tearful reunion, Connie and Dex were together for ten straight nights.

Dex had no idea of the turmoil at the Archer mansion. Evelyn had suffered a major shock when Connie came home and completely refused to submit to any of the previously effective controls. Connie openly told her mother to leave her alone. She was going to be seeing Dex and there was nothing Evelyn could do about it.

Evelyn could not understand this turn of events. She knew Connie had been dating, if that was the proper word, Maxwell Wetherby III, scion of an East Coast pharmaceutical fortune. Actually, Connie had been Maxwell's slave, submitting regularly to a wide variety of humiliation and abuse. Evelyn had just assumed Connie's submissive streak was satisfied, and that she was happy.

Maxwell was not just a dominant, though, as most of those had rather strict standards governing their treatment of subs. Maxwell was an abuser. He had brutalized Connie in anger several times, resulting in at least three ER visits that Evelyn learned about through the school's parent notification policy. She was willing to overlook those 'minor' indiscretions in the hope that Connie could eventually land Maxwell as a husband. She saw him as the answer to all her social climbing dreams.

It was inconceivable that Connie might no longer be submissive. Such turnarounds did not happen, especially when the sub was actively engaged as a slave. Evelyn could only conclude it was the influence of Dex, and her hatred of him grew even stronger. She saw him as the main obstacle to her rightful status on the Social Registry.

Despite her consternation, Evelyn was not given to panic. She had enough experience manipulating Gerald and her children to be confident that she would find some way to make sure Connie was back at school in Maxwell's clutches. His whips and chains could wipe out whatever bad happened this summer.

Among the things that attracted Dex to Connie was her exceptional perceptiveness. Despite all the bad choices her submissiveness drove her to, she could read people instinctively.

In the third week after her return from school, Connie came down the stairs to Dex's room late one evening carrying an overnight bag, and wearing an unmistakable expression. Until now, their dating had involved no more than light petting, but she obviously thought it was time for the big step.

Dex happened to be sitting watching the evening news when she came down, and she plopped on his lap. "Dex, I know you're worried about some of the guys I may have been with. I got myself tested, and here's the report. I'm clean. I also got on the pill when I was still at school, so I am now safe. If you are still worried, here are some condoms we can use. Now, will you please make love to me."

If not exactly expecting it, Dex was not surprised by her request. Just from the way they had talked their last few dates, there was an implied permanence in the relationship.

Following the pattern he had learned to enjoy so much, Dex took her hand and led her to the bathroom. There, he kissed her before starting to remove her clothes. She got into the spirit quickly and began working on him. Connie was built more like Margo than like Donna. She was fairly tall, and had more pronounced curves all over than the Ferguson women.

Connie's breasts were heavy enough that they settled noticeably when liberated from her bra. He would later observe that for all their size, they still stood remarkably high when she lay naked on her back. As he washed her, Dex noted that, for all her generous curves, she still had the teenaged tightness to her body. Her thighs and buttocks were definitely more substantial than Donna or Angeline, but they were taut and well-shaped and encased in the same smooth skin that graced her whole body.

The day Dex had rescued Connie, he had instantly categorized her as sexy, even in her contrived grungy clothes and weird makeup, and even with a bloody lip and a puffy eye. Seeing her now in all her glory only strengthened his initial impression. It was not just her body that made her sexy - it never was with any woman he had met. It was the totality of looks, movements, expressions, and, for lack of a better term, aura, that made Connie sexy.

As he thought ahead to taking Connie to bed, Dex realized that she had undoubtedly been fucked many times. Knowing some of the boys she had been with, he seriously doubted she had ever been made love to. Tonight, he would remedy that lack in her life.

Although she did not appear to be nervous, Dex assumed Connie had some apprehension about their first time. He could imagine that she always had some pain and degradation during sex. Submissive though she might be, she could not have looked forward to that. The challenge was to let her know there would be nothing like that from him.

A shower or a massage had become Dex's favorite preludes to sex, and he decided to use both on Connie. He also decided to address the dominance/submission, pain/pleasure issues gently but directly. As he was massaging her shoulders and neck, he brought his mouth close to her ear and spoke softly.

"Connie, you have a beautiful, sexy body. I want to touch it, love it, and worship it, but I could never purposely hurt it. I will try every pleasurable, exciting thing I know to make sex good for you, but I cannot use pain to stimulate you. I want you to be my lover and my partner, but I cannot make you my slave. I think you know by now who I am and what I am like. I hope your coming to me tonight means you want loving sex, and I long to give you that. If you absolutely need the other, I cannot do that to you."

Connie shivered slightly at some of Dex's words. When he stopped talking, she sniffled a few times before answering him. "Guys have always used me. I thought I wanted it - needed it. I don't want it any more! Make me forget it, Dex! Please!"

Of the challenges Dex had faced in his life, this one was as frightening as any. This lovely, fragile, screwed-up woman was depending on him for healing that the most expensive psychiatrists had been unable to effect. On top of that, the stakes were very high. This was a woman he wanted a relationship with, perhaps a permanent one. Failure on his part would doom her and leave a huge hole in his own life. He knew he could not be with the old Connie. He had to help her change or they had no future together.

Dex was not sure if he had paused in his massage while he pondered his challenge, but he steeled himself to continue normally. Not that it was an onerous task. The intimate contact required for a massage always felt wonderful to Dex, and he was determined to explore and worship every inch of the sexy, naked woman beneath his hands.

Dex tried to think as he massaged, going over in his mind what he could do to help Connie, and he came back again and again to the two keys he thought he had discovered about women: self-worth and self-image. He had learned them from abused women, but they must also apply to submissive women. The concept of submissiveness was very hard for Dex to grasp, as it did not seem to have any rational basis. The only explanation that helped him was that a submissive woman was an abused woman who thought she deserved it.

Because of several discussions with Margo about dominance and submission, Dex knew he was over-simplifying things. (Apparently, the reading with which Margo filled her many lonely nights as Roger's wife had given her an impressive store of knowledge on psychological and interpersonal matters.) Still, the simplest, most direct approach had always been his style, and he was not confident he could handle anything more sophisticated with Connie. He wanted to be her lover, not her shrink. He would do everything he could to elevate her self-worth and her self-image, and fervently hope it was enough.

For the next hour and a half, Dex did serious work on Connie's self-worth, taking her to several orgasms with his fingers and his tongue, and lavishing complements and endearments on her. When it came time for intercourse, he insisted she be on top. He wanted everything they did sexually to portray either their equality, or her superiority. He had resigned himself to not enjoying doggy style for a long time, since Margo had told him that was the position most used by dominants.

At one point, Connie wanted to take him in her mouth, but Dex stopped her. Deciding she deserved to know what he was trying to do and why, he told her a blowjob was the ultimate form of submission imposed on a woman. Someday, he told her, when she wanted to blow him out of pure love and sexual exuberance, he would be honored to have her mouth on him. For now, he would do nothing that was associated with her past submissive experiences.

Another surprise occurred about the time Dex's relationship with Connie was reignited. Rick called Donna and asked her out. They had seen each other a number of times on campus, but had not really 'gone out.' Donna had dated five different guys throughout the year, but five dates was the most for any one, and she had not gone to bed with any of them. She had worked very hard on her studies and had driven home a total of six times, including the regular vacations. She and Dex had just naturally slept together whenever she was home.

Rick's first two years at college were a mixed bag. Football had gone well, he had played quite a bit his Sophomore year, and he would probably start as a Junior. He was doing well in his tough pre-med schedule. His academic success was no surprise, as his High School valedictorian honor was not achieved by just brains. Despite his partying and his attitude toward girls, he had always been disciplined in his studies.

Predictably, there was no shortage of girls eager for Rick's attention, but he was strangely uninterested. He found a girl in one of his classes that he first studied with, the started going out with. It was if he had dialed back to Junior High, and he became immersed in a close, but non-sexual relationship for the first time.

When Donna came to campus in Rick's second year, he saw her just often enough to keep him aware of her. Toward the end of the year, his interest in his regular date began to wane, and, much to her chagrin, they were no longer a couple when he went home for the summer. The problem was, every encounter with Donna brought back memories. Even the memories of how she had caught him naked no longer brought the same reaction from him. Rather than his embarrassment, he remembered her incredible composure and her sexy demeanor throughout that visit.

In Rick's mind, Donna had become the ideal of a strong, sexy woman who could be his equal. Whether as a reaction against his earlier treatment of girls, or because of the late influence of his mother, he longed for a mate he could truly respect, and in his mind, Donna was the perfect fit.

As a further measure of his personal growth, Rick realized the challenge he faced convincing Donna's parents of his worthiness. As he began dating Donna regularly, he went out of his way to spend quality time with Karen and Mike. Margo had already been telling them how much Rick had changed, and it was not long before the night of the party that went sour was nearly forgotten.

Her unexpected, but very much welcome, new relationship with Rick brought Donna face to face with the one issue she always knew she would have to address: what about her and Dex? From day one, they had both declared they would not be life partners. They had both meant it, and she still did. All during her time with Jared, there had been nothing that forced her to reassess her intentions toward Dex. Jared was never 'the one.' With Rick's first call, everything changed. She knew instinctively that Rick could very well be 'the one.'

The issue Donna had to face now was whether Dex was already 'the one.' The fact that they were cousins could be managed by an out-of-state wedding. The risk of birth defects was minimal. Their family and friends would adjust and be supportive. In short, it was up to them - up to her, as Dex would accede to her wishes.

As a measure of the strength of their relationship, Donna never even considered making a decision about Dex on her own. As an example of the spirit of their relationship, she caught Dex on his desk chair and assumed the now-significant lap-straddling position. For a moment they just grinned at each other.

"A lot of wonderful things started just like this," Dex said. "Do I sense that some wonderful things are about to end like this?"

Donna's grin was replaced by moist eyes as the gravity of their discussion hit her. "We... we've always told each other it would be this way. D... do we still feel that way?"

"What you're asking is if we want to be engaged to each other, isn't it?"

"If we do, this is probably our last chance. We both have potentially serious relationships starting. To be fair to Connie and Rick, we need to decide about Donna and Dex."

"You're right, Donna. We have to. Tell me, do you want to be Mrs. Dex Madison? You won't destroy me if you say no."

"Ohhh, Dex. I could see a wonderful life as Mrs. Dex Madison. It... it's just not the life I've thought about these past years we've been together. You mean something to me no one else ever could, but I always thought there would be someone else for me. Can you understand that?"

"Of course I can, Donna. You're not betraying me. You're saying what we've always said, and I think we were right. I won't deny that it's hard to have to really live with it, now. I've told your folks you would marry Rick someday, you know?"

"You what? How could you have known that?"

"I didn't know it. It just felt to me like it was going to happen. You two are a great match, you know."

"Well, he's certainly not the same Rick I took revenge on two years ago. He's... he's..."

"He's Margo's son, now, isn't he?"

"Yeah, I guess that's it. You know, she's got to be peeing her panties with excitement about now." She giggled as she said this.

"Hmmm. I'm no marriage expert, but a good match with the whole family has got to be pretty important, too. You and Rick would be perfect in a lot of ways."

"And you and Connie?"

"Me and Connie have a long ways to go, but we're off to a good start."

"Don't take this wrong, Dex, but is Connie more your lover, or more of a rescue project?"

"I don't take it wrong, Lover. I'm never sure myself, when it comes to women."

That simple admission by Dex brought a flash of clarity to Donna about her decision. Since their very first day, she had sensed there was a part of Dex that was unattainable to her, unpossessable. Even four years of maturity and healing had not changed that. Much as she loved her cousin, she feared that unattainable part of him would be a barrier to the kind of marriage she wanted. No, Dex was not the right husband for her, and a load was lifted from her heart.

"Um, Dex, you called me Lover, which brings up the big question. Is sex between us over?"

"For myself, I don't want it to be. For Connie, though... she has to know she's the only one. If she thought she was not enough for me, all my work on her self-worth would be wiped out.

"I haven't been to bed with Rick, yet, but I'm starting to feel committed to him. Oh, God, this is so hard! I know it's right, but..." Whatever else she was going to say was lost in sobs.

"Donna, Honey. Only two people who love each other like we do could have the strength to do this. I will always love you, you know that. Not having sex won't change that."

Dex thought many times over the next several weeks about Donna's question: was Connie his lover or his rescue project? He never came any closer to an answer.

Connie was a very responsive and passionate sex partner, and Dex could never get enough of her succulent body. Her passion, however, was always expressed as frantic clutching or as tears. He had yet to see signs of joy or fun in her lovemaking. He was not surprised that she had become very attached to him - dependent on him. He had expected that, given her submissive tendencies.

Dex was in no way discouraged, though, nor any less in love with Connie. She was showing definite progress in many areas. The difference was noticeable watching her walk alone through a public place. She had a new assurance in her bearing, even a hint of flaunting. Dex's comments on her appearance had been constant, and his family helped. In private, he was effusive about her sex appeal. Teasing and light-hearted banter were more and more prevalent in their conversations, replacing the cynicism that was common from her in their earlier dating.

While running one morning, some thoughts that had been rattling around in Dex's mind for some time coalesced into a startling realization. Last year at school, Connie had been involved in a submissive relationship, and quite probably an abusive one! It explained so many things. He double-timed home, and had the phone in hand to call Carl when he thought better of it. Connie should tell him herself. Going around her to find out could only damage her progress.

That very night, Dex pushed Connie to tell him everything. They were in his bed, with him propped against the headboard. She was on his lap facing away from him, impaled. When he told her what he thought, she came apart, sobbing almost uncontrollably. He had to grab her around the waist firmly to keep her from getting up and leaving. For the longest time, she would not look at him or talk to him.

Fortunately, Dex had a flash of inspiration about why she was so distressed. She was afraid he would think her unworthy and would not want her any longer. He had become adept at dealing with her self-worth issues, and once the cause of her upset was identified, he was able to get through to her. They hardly slept at all that night as he pulled detail after detail from her, sometimes nearly sickening him.

The next morning, Dex did something unprecedented for him - he called in sick to work. He was not out of reach of Connie for the entire day, even for the most personal bathroom duties. By supper time, he believed she had recovered. He insisted they sit down with both her parents that night and tell them everything.

Gerald sat in slack-jawed disbelief as Connie described her hellish year in a flat monotone that Dex recognized so well from his own recountings. Evelyn had radiated hatred toward Dex from the time Gerald had almost physically forced her to sit down with them. Dex watched Evelyn closely as Connie talked, and arrived at two conclusions. First, that Evelyn was sexually aroused by the descriptions of what Maxwell did to Connie the slave. Second, that Evelyn knew about the assaults and the treatment Connie had needed.

The one secret Connie still held tightly was the dom/sub activity between her mother and herself, so neither Dex nor Gerald had any knowledge of it. Even though Dex noticed Evelyn's arousal, he had no way to make that connection. From the earliest times, when Connie was just nine, Evelyn had drilled into her the need for secrecy, and that long-term conditioning still held.

When Connie finished her painful tale, Gerald said, very softly, "It's obvious you won't be going back there in the fall." At this, Evelyn looked about to stroke out, but held her anger and talked in a reasonable tone.

"Oh, Gerald, I'm sure there won't be any more problems like that next year. Connie was so fortunate to be accepted there. We can't throw a way such a privilege just because she fell in with some of the wrong friends."

Dex, always reserved, always respectful to his elders, could not keep quiet after that garbage. "Mrs. Archer, I would expect you not to be concerned for Connie's welfare. After all, you knew about her beatings and didn't think it necessary to do anything to protect her."

As Gerald gasped, Evelyn focused all her anger into haughty indignation and railed at Dex for three minutes about his impertinence, the tragedy of him dragging Connie down socially, and how much she had sacrificed for her daughter's betterment. Interestingly, she forgot to deny knowledge of the injuries.