Redemption
Copyright© 2003 by Shrink42
Chapter 16
Incest Sex Story: Chapter 16 - Unable to prevent an unspeakable tragedy as a young teen, unwarranted guilt becomes his driving force through adolescence and into adulthood. This story spans nearly two decades, and involves many people. It is a story of good and evil, tragedy and triumph, love, relationships, and more than a little sex.
Caution: This Incest Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa mt/ft Ma/ft mt/Fa Fa/Fa Mult Teenagers Consensual Romantic Incest Mother Son Father Daughter MaleDom Humiliation First Oral Sex Violence
(Fourteen years earlier)
April and May turned out to be the launching pad for what Dex would always remember as one of the happiest periods of his life. Activity around the fledgling Doggerel Productions was absolutely frantic. Chris came to the Perdue house, and in conjunction with Jared's parents, laid down the law about 'grades first.' He told Jared that he would be kicked out of the Emporium or Hank's house if he did not finish his homework before he got there. He also said, completely serious, that if Jared somehow missed valedictorian, they would replace him on tour.
Dex had wisely not gone out for track that spring, and had told his sensei that he would be sporadic with classes and would not compete until the fall. With Donna happily spending weekends in Jared's bed, Dex and Angeline were free to sleep together the weekend nights she was there. Many times, it involved nothing more then Dex holding her close as she collapsed in exhaustion. Their morning wakeups usually made up for the lack of late-night sex.
Angeline had arranged to get out of the one Friday class she had, and always flew in late Thursday night. The second weekend she was there, she got up Saturday morning and told Dex she did not like having everyone dress for Saturday brunch just because she was there. Having said that, she left the room naked and went upstairs. Karen was in the kitchen, and did a bit of a double-take when the little naked doll appeared.
"Karen, the way you all eat naked together Saturdays is a beautiful thing. I love you all so much, and I want to be a part of it. Will Mike do it?"
"I'll make sure he will, Honey. I'll have to help him, uh, prepare first, though. I know just how he will respond to seeing you like that." They giggled together as Karen shucked her clothes and headed up the stairs.
Angeline fairly skipped back down to Dex's bedroom and told him, "No clothes this morning. I made it right."
The four of them had just gathered and Mike had barely succeeded in wrenching his gaze from Angeline's extraordinary nipples when Chris and Jenny walked in unexpectedly. They were clothed, of course, and Chris froze at the sight of Angeline, who had stood and walked forward to greet them.
"No more clothes just because I am here," she said with a broad smile. "Now I can be a real part of the family!" Jenny hugged her friend, then towed the nearly-catatonic Chris off to shed their duds.
When everyone had settled down, Angeline explained how casual most Europeans were about nudity. She told them how wonderful it was that they all felt so free to share their bodies. She complimented the whole family on how healthy and trim they all looked.
Donna, of course, quickly heard about the Saturday morning event, and went straight to Karen. "Mom, it would be really good for Jared if he could join us naked. Would it bother you terribly?"
"Oh, Honey! I don't know if I want this to get out of the family."
"Angeline is no more family than Jared."
"Yeah, but Jared's a guy, and I'll be... uh, I guess fair's fair, isn't it?"
"Uh, huh."
"You know, Donna, it's a little different with Angeline. She's French, and they are much more casual about nudity than Americans. It's not really the same with Jared."
"So you don't want him to see your body, huh?"
"Oh, Honey, I'm just a little confused, I guess."
"Look, Mom. I love Jared, and you know what a great guy he is. He'll never be your son-in-law, so I can see why you're a little reluctant. I would really like to help him be as free and confident with sex as we have all become. It would be a neat gift to remember me by. He would never, ever tell anyone that he saw you, so it won't ruin your reputation or anything. If you will do this, then Jared and I will go to breakfast at his house some Saturday naked. That should be a blast."
"OK, Honey. You win. It won't affect your Dad much, and I doubt Angeline will care. I assume you will sleep in your room tonight, right?"
Donna did not mention any of this to Jared. When they awoke Sunday morning, she gave him an immediate blowjob, which was not anything new. When she started jacking him off again in the shower, though, he asked her why.
"Well, Lover, breakfast this morning is naked, and I want to give you a chance of not springing a boner when you see Mom and Angeline in all their glory. Believe me, that's some real glory, too." Almost as soon as she said this, he spurted all over her. When they finished washing and were drying, he was still erect. "You're kidding!" she exclaimed, but went happily to work again. "Now, your penis won't be straight, but your legs may not be either, from the way you look." She laughed gaily, but he was still too stunned for any rebuttal.
When she practically dragged him into the kitchen, Mike and Karen were there, and Karen's back was to them as she worked at the counter. Karen turned around rather stiffly, and her voice shook a little as she said, "Good morning, Jared. Maybe it will make you feel a little better to know that I am very nervous, too. Every other man that has seen me naked has been family, so this is hard for me."
In a credit to his maturity and composure, Jared replied, "Karen (he had long ago been ordered to call her that), you are even more beautiful without clothes. If I am the first outside the family, than it is a huge honor for me."
"Ah, he is a real man for the ladies. I see why you like him, Donna." This came from Angeline, who had just walked up the stairs with Dex right behind her. Jared spun around at her voice, and even the three cums were not enough to keep him from going partially erect. Extremely embarrassed, he flushed and quickly sat down at the table.
Angeline stepped behind Jared, put her hands on his shoulders and kissed him on the cheek. "Do not worry, Cherie. We women are not offended when men show their appreciation. Donna should have helped you be less, uh, sensitive."
"She, uh, did. Three times!"
"Ooh la la! How do you Americans say? I guess I've really got it, no?" That threw the room into laughter, with even the red-faced Jared joining in.
It was barely ten minutes before Jared was joining in the conversation with his usual wit. At one point, though, he became quiet and looked very pensive. It was Karen, across the table from him, who inquired what was the matter.
"Oh, nothing's the matter. I was just thinking how unreal this is. At Christmas, I'd had exactly three dates in my life. Now, I'm sleeping with this gorgeous babe, and having breakfast naked with three knockouts." He paused and returned the smiles sent his way. "Mike, you know a lot more about this than I do, so tell me if I'm wrong here. When it comes to sex and love, us guys don't have much say, do we. I mean it's like they lead us around by our, uh, cocks, and all we can do is follow."
"Mon Dieu!" Angeline exclaimed in feigned shock. "Our secret is out! And he is so young, too! What will we do?" All previous hilarity paled in comparison to the gales of laughter that overtook them all.
As they were leaving the table, Karen approached Jared, still looking a bit nervous. He sensed the reason and told her, "Karen, don't worry. I would never say anything that would reflect badly on you. I respect you too much. I want to thank you again for the privilege of seeing your body. Mike is a very lucky man!"
Hank and Margo's original composing frenzy had yielded nine numbers, and it was typical for an album to have at least twelve. During spring break while everyone was together, there was a great deal of discussion about how to fill out the album. An obvious answer would be to record some existing numbers, but there was general reluctance to pay royalties to other companies.
One slot was filled with an a cappela medley of old Southern gospel songs with no royalty rights outstanding. While not as 'country' as the rest of the album, it ended up sounding spectacular. The backup group augmented by Ron made up a mixed quartet, and they improvised some intricate harmonies to the basically simple tunes.
Refusing to give any details, Ron and Jared said they had a unique instrumental in the works, and convinced the group it would be finished in time. This left one slot, and Jenny pressed for Michelle to do a solo number. The only problem was there were no unused new compositions. Michelle's voice had a more sultry quality than Jenny's and Ron suggested a country style 'torch' song. Ron's opinions had already become respected by the group, and Hank and Margo set to work. Hank did find the start of some appropriate music, so it was up to Margo. A week and a half later, everyone was satisfied with "A Hold on You."
The fourth weekend after break, Ron and Jared revealed their instrumental, and it was a smash. Ron had clicked past "Hee Haw" on TV, then clicked back because he heard some 'classical' hoe-down fiddlin'. The driving beat and frantic two-note fiddle acrobatics stuck in his mind, and he got to thinking about some interesting variations. He talked to Jared, and the two worked in Jared's basement whenever they could, causing Donna to complain that her brother was stealing her boyfriend. They enlisted Angeline right away, and she worked tirelessly on the fiddle part.
The number stayed true to the hoe-down sound, but added numerous key changes and theme changes. Although the fiddle predominated, Jared's synth was the underlying instrument, and synth, banjo, string bass, and drums all did riffs.
Jared had showed some unexpected genius in the innovative sound he built around the constant themes. Ron would voice an idea, and Jared would make it work. The most stunning was a twenty second section of chromatically ascending chords to which Angeline had crafted a jaw-dropping fiddle part. The piece was two and a half minutes of frantic sound, and at the first rehearsal, Hank, Hoss, Jenny, and the band were dumbstruck.
Jared had named the piece 'Hoe-down Fantasia, ' but even he wouldn't try to defend that. Other suggestions included 'Hoe-Down Down Down' and 'Hoooo-Down.' Hoss claimed the winner, however, with 'Moonshine, ' and the album was complete.
Jenny pointed out that the album name was no longer right, and it was changed to 'Jenny and Friends at the Emporium.' Throughout April and May, all twelve numbers were recorded, usually with a live audience. Hoss provided a buffet for the patrons who helped with the recording, and most seem to love the chance to clap, yell, or applaud on command.
It was a Friday night in April, and as usual, Donna and Jared arrived at the Perdue home late after Jared finished Jenny's second set. All week, Donna had been working on Jared, telling him they should show up at Saturday breakfast naked. He had at first scoffed, then expressed fear, and finally realized Donna would keep at him until he did it.
Good-natured one-upmanship was no small part of their relationship, and Jared tried to take charge on the way home by insisting that Kelly join them. Donna thought that was a wonderful idea, and they plotted how to get Kelly involved. Her plan put the pressure squarely back on Jared.
Back at the house, they put the Kelly plan in motion. As with many middle class homes, the Perdues had a finished basement with a TV room, a bath and a bedroom. Donna and Jared had taken to using the basement bedroom when Donna slept over. That night, they showered together in the downstairs shower, then stayed naked. They both went quietly to the upstairs where Kelly's bedroom was. Making sure the parents' door was closed, they opened the bathroom door slightly and turned on the light so it spilled toward Kelly's door.
Jared went into Kelly's room, leaving the door open so a little light shown in, but not enough to read by. "Hey, Kel, he said softly, as he sat beside her on the bed and shook her shoulder gently.
"Whuuuh?" was her sleepy response.
"We want to talk to you downstairs. It's important. Come on down." Jared then stood and walked slowly from her room, shaking slightly as he exposed his bare backside. Kelly could not be certain through the sleep haze, but she thought her brother was naked. She had been about to ignore Jared and fall back to sleep, but the possibility that she saw correctly brought her awake in a hurry.
By the time she reached the basement stairs, Kelly was quivering in anticipation, positive now that she had seen correctly. She rounded the corner at the bottom and came to a staggering stop in one of those classical comedy moves. There stood Jared and Donna facing her, holding hands, naked. From the shoulders up, Jared had no more freckles - he was a uniform red color. Before Kelly could speak, Jared started to rise, capturing his sister's attention, and delaying speech a little longer.
Jared started to turn but Donna held him in place. "Hang in there, Lover. Let her get a good look. It's what she wants." Donna had jerked him off in the shower, but only once. She wanted to calm him down but not prevent him from reacting totally. It looked like she should have milked him at least once more.
"God, Jay, is that just from me looking at you?" Kelly was able to ask at last.
"Yeah, Kel. Besides, you look awfully sexy like that. When you undress, I'll probably go off."
"When I... what's this all about, anyway?"
Donna answered, "When your folks come to breakfast tomorrow morning, we're going to be there naked. We want you to join us."
"Oh, wow! I don't know!"
"We know it will be hard to show yourself to Jared and your Dad. We figured if you strip for Jared tonight, it will be a lot easier in the morning."
"Yeah, and I know you've already flashed Dad, so this should be the hard part," Jared added.
"Uh, yeah. Why are you doing this?"
"Your family has done a lot more sexy things lately, haven't you?" Donna asked. When Kelly nodded, Donna continued, "How are family relationships now compared to before?"
"Oh, wow! I can't believe how much better things are, especially between me and Mom. We talk about stuff now, and she's my friend."
"Well, if you can all get naked together, I think the communications will be even better, and you will all be closer still."
"You don't think they'll freak out?"
"Nope. They'll be shocked, but they'll go along. Face it, your Mom is dying to see Jared's package, and your Dad won't be able to take his eyes off of you."
"How can you stand to have Dad see you?"
"Oh, that will be kinda hard, but he's the one who's made this all happen. He deserves a little reward." Donna giggled briefly before she continued. "That's one reason I want you naked with us, Kelly. If you are, he will hardly notice me."
"But... but you're beautiful!"
"Haven't you looked in the mirror lately, Kelly? Besides, there's always a special attraction between family members."
"Is... isn't that wrong?"
"It's biology, Kelly. It's natural and unavoidable. What you do about it determines if it's wrong, and I'm not sure if anything two adult people agree on is wrong."
Jared had been silent for a while, but now spoke up. "Kel, we would really like to have you with us in the morning. To be honest, I'm dying to see your body right now. If you decide you can't do it, we would ask you to stay in your room in the morning until we tell you're it's over. If you decide to undress now and join us, we'd love to have you sleep with us tonight."
"You mean... ?"
"No, Kel, we wouldn't expect you to do anything you didn't want to."
Now it was decision time for Kelly. She stood for over a minute, mostly staring at Jared's cock, but occasionally scanning both of their faces. Eventually, she reached up under her sleep shirt and pulled off her panties. Taking a deep breath, she then lifted the shirt over her head and stood motionless, lower lip quivering.
"Thank you Kel," Jared told her. "You really have a beautiful body. It's a privilege to see it."
Everyone was awkward for several minutes, then Kelly said, "Oh, excuse me," and ran to the bathroom. After a few minutes, they heard the shower running. A little later, Kelly came out rather timidly and just stood outside the bathroom.
Predictably, Donna loosened things up by starting to talk about how the morning would go. They all set on the old sofa that faced the TV, and discussed various possibilities of what could happen. It wasn't long before Kelly was entering right in.
After a pause in the conversation, Kelly said to Jared, "Hey, Bro, I thought that thing would go down while we were talking. You should be used to seeing me by now."
"I may never get used to that, Kel. I have to confess I have a lot of fantasies to catch up on."
"You do!?" Kelly asked in disbelief. "I thought... uh..."
"You thought you were the only one with fantasies, didn't you?" Donna asked her. "You've wondered about your Dad's and your brother's cocks a lot, haven't you?" Kelly covered her lowered face with her hands. "Hey, hey! I told you before that's just natural. Don't be ashamed of it."
"Do you think about your Dad and your brothers? And Dex?"
"You bet I do. You're lucky, Kelly. You get to learn a lot younger than I did." After her last comment, Donna got up and went into the bathroom, returning in a moment with a damp rag and a small towel.
Jared knew immediately what the towels were for and objected. "Donna! No! We shouldn't."
"Jared, she's going above and beyond to help us. She's so curious about boys it almost drives her crazy sometimes. She deserves a lesson. Besides, it will feel good for you, won't it?"
"Uh, OK, go ahead."
"Oh, I'm not going to do it. Kelly is."
Jared objected again, but of course could not withstand Donna - not that he really wanted to. Donna began a thorough lesson on male genital anatomy, reminiscent of what she had done for Jenny months ago. This time, though, the student eagerly did hands on exercises. As Kelly followed Jared's instructions and stroked her brother, she gazed adoringly in his eyes.
"Does this feel good, Jay? I hope I can make it good for you."
"Oh, God, Kel! You can't believe how... watch out!" Donna had been watching carefully, and had the towel ready to avoid any mess. At the first spurts, Kelly had withdrawn her hand in surprise, so Donna took over stroking, gently explaining to Kelly how she needed to help him finish properly.
"You know, Kelly, it's just like if you pull your hands away from your pussy just when you first start to come."
"Donna, I... !" Kelly reacted in shock.
"Oh, come on! You do it. I do it. Everybody does. As a matter of fact, you look pretty strung out right now. Let us return the favor."
"You mean? Oh, no! I couldn't. It's..."
"Hey, you did it for Jared. Let him do it for you. He has magic fingers. Come on, let's all get it bed and be comfortable."
Kelly was quickly learning, as had everyone else that knew Donna, that she one way or another got what she wanted most of the time. They were soon in bed with Kelly in the middle. Donna just held her hand and calmed her as Jared started by caressing his sister's nipples, something he had done briefly before.
When Jared dropped a hand to Kelly's crotch, Donna took over on one tit, causing Kelly to jerk in alarm. Donna spoke reassuringly to her and they continued the dual stimulation until Kelly went off. Having learned well from Donna, Jared stayed with it and helped work his sister to a second, much larger explosion. They all fell asleep cuddled together. Donna was the only one unsatisfied, but she sensed it was more important to treat Kelly just right that night.
Jared had set an alarm clock so they could be in the kitchen before either parent. They assumed Betty would be the first one down and had done most of their planning on that assumption. All three were very nervous heading up the stairs. Donna, to her own surprise, was concerned about Matt seeing her. Only immediate family males (this included Dex) had seen her naked before. Both Jared and Kelly worried about how they would react to their parents seeing them, and whether their parents would go along and strip.
The three teens had to wait about twenty minutes before they heard someone coming down the stairs, at which time they all nearly panicked. They sat nearly frozen as Betty walked into the kitchen and nearly collapsed back against the doorjamb.
"Oh, God! What are you all doing? Please, Matt will be down any minute. Kelly, how could you... ?"
Donna stood and came over comfort Betty. "Betty, so much has happened in your family - so much wonderful stuff. We want to see you take the next step." Following their plan, Jared stood up and let his mother see his erect cock. Kelly moved to the other side of Betty, dropped to her knees and pulled down her mother's panties as Donna lifted the nightie.
"Wait! No! Don't! I can't!"
"Betty," Donna said rather firmly, "How long have you wished you could see Jared's package?"
"I... Oh... This is... Ohhh!" Betty was shivering slightly, but her nipples were completely distended. With her last exclamation, she seemed resigned and raised her arms to help Donna. When his mother was naked, Jared stepped up to her and took her hands, then kissed them in an unplanned but very moving gesture.
"Mom, thank you so much. I've wondered just as long. Your body is lovely."
Betty was very much off balance, but still able to worry. "Donna, what about Matt? He'll see you."
"Does the bother you Betty? Do you not want him to see me?"
"Ohhh! I don't know! And Kelly!... Donna, how can you let him?"
"Betty, it makes me very nervous. But Matt has taken the lead in changing things in this family. My relationship with Jared has benefited. If this is a little reward for him, I am willing. At least I hope he considers it a reward."
"Oh, he will for sure! I... I guess it's OK."
Kelly spoke up. "Mom, can you get Dad to strip?"
Betty was recovering rapidly enough to become mischievous. "Let's not leave it up to him. Donna and Jared, you sit at the table, sort of covered up. Kelly, we'll yank his pants down as he walks through the door."
Matt was not really sleepy when he walked in, but neither was he concentrating fully. He and Betty had been at the club the night before, followed by their usual shower and sex. Matt was feeling content and happy.
Suddenly, he felt his pants being yanked down, then heard a giggle and a gasp. He saw Betty to one side, just rising to her feet, naked. Then he turned his head to see his grinning daughter, equally naked, on the other side. His cock reacted before his mouth, and he jammed his hands in front of his crotch as he exclaimed, "Kelly!." His eyes then traveled to the table and he became even more alarmed. "Oh My God! Donna! Betty, what the Hell?"
Betty moved in front of her husband and hugged him, hiding him from the others. "Donna spoke up: "Betty, take him upstairs and, uh, reduce his sensitivity. Might have to do it twice."
In the bedroom, Betty pulled off Matt's shirt, shushing him three times as he tried to talk. She dropped to her knees and sucked him off fairly quickly. He had been standing until then, but had to sit on the bed.
Regaining his breath, he asked, "Mind telling me what's going on?" She explained what the kids had said. "But Donna's here!"
"Don't you think you'll like looking at her?"
"Uh, yeah, but she'll..."
"Ohhh," she mocked, "Ashamed to have your son's girlfriend see your cock? Look, you have worked wonders in our family, especially with me. I have a feeling, though, that Donna is behind it all. Let her have a little reward. You're man enough."
"But what if I get hard?"
"Do you think she's never seen that before? It'll just be a bigger reward." His only response was a moan. "'Course, the way Kelly looks, I don't know how you can avoid a hardon. Aren't those tits incredible, the way the freckles are spread right down to her nipples?" Here, she giggled, then said, "Oops! Guess you need some more relief, huh?"
When he got back downstairs, Matt struggled to keep his hands at his side as he walked into the kitchen ahead of Betty. He could almost feel the two girls' eyes on his penis, which was for now limp and exhausted. Kelly came up to him and smiled warmly, then gave him a peck on the cheek while whispering in his ear "I'll be careful not to touch you for now, Daddy. I'll save that for some other time." That, of course, was too much for his borderline self-control, and he was suddenly half-hard, even though he was still so tender it hurt.
Betty was watching her man carefully, and stepped right in. "Kelly, give your poor Dad a break. This is hard enough for him, anyway." It was Donna who first caught the unintentional pun, followed quickly by Kelly. The ensuing laughter was good, removing much of the sexual tension.
Donna, feeling she owed it to Matt, stood up so he could get a good look at her, then came over to him and said "Matt, don't be upset if you get excited. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I can see Jared inherited a lot of good things from you. You have done an incredible job of opening up your family, and everyone is proud of you. If you get hard, us girls will just be that much more jealous of what Betty gets to enjoy.
Of all the turning points at the Perdue home, that breakfast was as big as any, and established a tradition almost as strong as at the Fergusons.
The logistics of the tour took shape in May. The tour group was four couples: Margo and Hank, Michelle and Randy, Donna and Jared, and Angeline and Dex. Ron would be at many of the shows, and of course, there were the two children, Amy and Jeremy. Jenny, of course was always there, but Chris would seldom travel with the group.
After much discussion and anguished soul-searching, Chris had decided to keep his job. He would spend money traveling to weekend shows and a few Thursday nights when he could take off Friday. Dex had suggested the company pay Chris a salary so he could quit, but Chris was not quite ready for that leap of faith. Jenny was not happy about having to go on the road without Chris's support, but she appreciated his cautious concern for their future. She personally did not see much risk if he had quit, because she was by far the most certain that their little venture was headed for success.
Dex had said he probably was not needed on the tour, but he was shouted down. They all appreciated his financial help, and Jenny still remembered the ugly incident at her debut. She felt two bodyguards for the group was not too many. Angeline also lobbied hard for Dex's inclusion. Dex did insist on paying for his and Donna's housing and meals.
The tour had been planned out to do three or four cities in ten to twelve days, then return home for a few days. After much discussion about transportation options, two vans were purchased, one a twelve passenger model, and the other a cargo van. Using the vans and staying in moderate motels proved the most cost-effective option. For the five different trips planned, there were only three driving stretches of more than a day.
Besides keeping Jared company, Donna felt a strong obligation to earn her keep, and she worked tirelessly on all the small details that make a trip livable. She went so far as locating and talking on the phone to managers of groups, two of whom proved to be very friendly and helpful.
Cell phones were a relatively new technology, and four of them were acquired for the group. Carl got them two of the highest powered walkie-talkies available, and CB radios were installed in both vans.
With the album completed and the travel logistics falling into place, the troupe was feeling almost euphoric. Any realist should have known that not everything can go that well.
During the second week in May, Michelle came into Jenny and Chris's apartment late one night after they were already in bed. After knocking timidly and being asked in, Michelle came to Jenny's side of the bed and lost it, throwing herself sobbing into Jenny's arms.
Between the sobs, Michelle stammered out, "I... I... g... guess I h... have to q... quit!"
At this stage, losing Michelle would have been disastrous, but Jenny reacted as gently as she could. "Randy's having trouble with your success, huh?"
"Y... you knew?"
"Yeah, Honey, we all knew. Dex has been spending a lot of time with Randy, and Chris has talked to him a lot."
"I... I'm a-f... fraid I'm g... going to l... lose him. I'll quit f... first!"
Jenny just hugged her friend until the sobbing subsided. Chris had left the bedroom and returned with drinks for all of them.
"We haven't made love for so long I can hardly remember. You know, Randy wanted to be a cop his whole life. When they fired him and black-balled him, it wiped him out. We scraped by for the last year and a half. When you brought us here, it was like a miracle to me. Randy, though, feels strongly that he has failed in supporting his family, and I had to rescue us."
"You still love Randy, don't you?"
"Oh, yes! I always will. That's why I would rather give up singing than lose him. Jenny, my parents were as bad as yours, just without all the money. Randy stood up to them many, many times, and we got married as soon as it was legal. We lived with his folks while he was in the academy. He's always treated me like a queen. He still treats me fine, it's just that he's always so down, and there's no more sex or romance. God, I miss it so much!"
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