Chapter 117: Between A Rock And A Hard Place

"He really wants to get back together with me?" Jessie asked incredulously.

"That's what he said," Warren confirmed. They were sitting at the table in Sophia and Warren's basement apartment. "Oh, this ought to be an interesting conversation. 'Sorry, Crash, I can't help you get back together with Jessie because Sophie and I are doing her.'"

"Tell him he can have me back when he starts lactating," Jessie giggled. "Seriously, Warren, I'm upset that you're in the middle of this, but I'm not going back with him."

"I'm just surprised that he's that vehement about getting you back," Warren said. "From what you told me, Jessie, I didn't think he'd care."

"Me either," Jessie said. She noticed Warren looking at her. She smiled at him. "Go ahead, you can ask it, I won't be offended."

"You didn't embellish how he was treating you to make us more sympathetic."

"No," Jessie smiled. "Look, it's my side of the story, and I know you need to hear his, and that's fine. But I don't think I embellished anything. If at all, I left stuff out. More background stuff, but still..."

"What do you mean?" Sophia asked.

"Well," Jessie started, "remember, freshman year I was at Umass. I didn't like classes there-too big and impersonal-but I had a fairly decent social life. Plenty of kids from Oceanview out there, and they introduced me to other people. I went to Wisconsin-Milwaukee, and I didn't know anyone. The classes are better, and that's good, but..." She sighed. "I don't know anyone. I've had trouble making friends. I'm very isolated, and my social life has boiled down to waiting for the one or two weekends every month I was going to see my boyfriend. Now I don't have a boyfriend. And the only reason I'm out there a thousand miles away from home is because of the boyfriend!"

"So, I have no friends out there, and the boyfriend who was the reason I went out there in the first place abandoned me. You know what? 'Lonely' would be too mild a word to describe how I've felt the last four months. 'Shattered' would be more accurate."

"Oh, Jess," Sophia said.

"You two are my rock, you really are," Jessie said. "I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't been there for me yesterday. I've been so depressed." Warren was just staring at her. "What?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, Jess. I'm just amazed at how different you are. And a little bit upset by it, too. Needy and vulnerable is new for you."

"Tell me about it," Jessie said, summoning up a wry grin. "Look, I'm still the same ol' Jess, mostly, and most of the time. I just get these weepy moments far more often than I used to. One thing I've realized is that I rely on my friends more than I ever knew. Which is a good thing-except when I can't find a friend. Believe me, it is very hard for me, Jessica the She-Devil Reidel, to admit that there are days where I just want to be taken care of. And that those days, lately, come more and more frequently."

"We'll take care of you as much as we can," Sophia smiled at her.

"I know you will," Jessie smiled. "Anyhow, I'm going to leave. Crash will be here soon. Besides which, I have to let my parents know I'm still around." She got up, gave Warren a nice long kiss, gave Sophie a nice long kiss, and headed for the door. "Call me when Crash leaves, OK?"

"Will do," Sophia told her. She left.

Sophia and Warren looked at each other for a minute after she left. Then Sophia said, "So, what are you going to do?"

"Try to talk him out of going back after her, without quite telling him why."

"Ah," Sophia said. "Do you want me here when you talk to him?"

"Completely up to you, Pookie."

"I don't know. I might kill him." Sophia sighed. "Warren, Jessie's in rough shape."

"I know."

"I think I understand the whole lactation fetish thing," Sophia said. Warren looked at her. "Well, you know, it is a turn-on, and I think that goes for both of us. But, even to me, it's very warm and comforting. Imagine how she feels."

"When she first did it, I was a little busy," Warren said with a smirk, making Sophia giggle, "but, when she did it in the middle of the night last night, I watched you guys. It was the most stunningly intimate thing I've ever seen."

"That's how it feels, too," Sophia said. "I have to tell you, if you had told me that this was going to happen, my first reaction would've been, 'eeew, that's too weird!' Especially last night, when we weren't in the middle of sex when she did it. But, somehow, it's not weird at all. If it was anyone other than Jess-or you, of course-it would be. But it's not."

Warren looked at Sophia and decided to ask it. "How long have you been sexually interested in Jess?"

Sophia looked up at him in surprise. Then she smiled. "For quite a while. Even before I ever experimented with girls, I felt something for her. I just never thought she'd go for it, so I put it out of my mind." She looked at Warren. "What would've happened yesterday if I hadn't come in the door?"

"Well, OK, I admit it," Warren said. "I gave in a little on the kiss. But it would not have gone any further than that, I promise you."

"I believe you," Sophia smiled. "How long have you known that you were, you know, in love with her? Since the cabin?"

"If not before that," Warren admitted. "It was easier when she was with Crash. And you know you're number one and I'd never do anything to jeopardize that. And I struggled for a long time with the thought of being in love with two people at the same time. But it's been there for quite a while."

Sophia looked at him. "You feel closer to her than you do to Crash, don't you?" Warren nodded. "And you have for a while."

"That's the thing that's killing me," Warren admitted. "I've always called Crash my best friend. But I've been closer to Jessie for some time."

"I'd actually noticed that," Sophia said. "Look, I'll stay here when he gets here. You're going to need the help. And I won't kill him."

Crash showed up about an hour later.

"She talked to you?" Crash asked Sophia.

"Actually, she talked to both of us," Warren admitted. "She was here most of yesterday."

"OK. So, tell me. What do I have to do to get her back?" Crash asked.

"I don't think you can," Warren admitted. "Crash, she's pretty much done with it. I don't think you have a chance."

"That's ridiculous!" Crash said. "Look, you should know that! You broke up with Sophie, but you got back together."

"I just think this is different," Warren told him.

"We broke up because I wasn't in my right mind," Sophia said. "I don't think that's the case with Jessie."

"Look, Jay," Warren said, "she told us some pretty bad things about how you've been treating her lately."

"Oh, great," Crash said. "Did she also tell you she shut me off?"

"You mean from sex?" Warren said. "Yeah, she told us that. But she also said that there was a reason for it."

"Yeah, girls and their little games, that was the reason," Crash said. "She was trying to prove something, to someone-don't ask me to understand it."

"Jay, she was having a problem with your sex life," Warren told him. "She was trying to find out if that was the only problem. That's what she was doing. She also said you went along with it."

"Yeah, because I figured she wouldn't be able to do it for long," Crash said. "Unless she had someone on the side at school."

"She didn't, I know that for a fact," Sophia said.

"She thinks you did, by the way," Warren said. "Though that's not why she broke up with you."

"I did. What do you expect me to do?" Crash asked.

"Try to patch things up with her?" Warren asked. "I mean Jesus, Crash. You keep going on about how you wanted to fix things, and how you still want to be with her, and you were fucking around on her?"

"Look, we were at separate schools, OK? It's not like trying to patch things up with her was 24/7. When I was with her, I did try to patch things up with her."

"That's not the way she tells it," Warren says.

"I can believe it," Crash agreed, "but that's because her idea of trying to patch things up was trying to make me someone that I'm not."

"Someone who loves her?" Sophia snorted. " That is what she was trying to make you into."

"Bullshit," Crash snorted back. "She knows I love her. The problem was, she wanted me to run through all kinds of tests and games and shit to prove it. Jessie doesn't love unconditionally. She constantly wants reassurance."

"Everybody needs reassurance," Sophia told him.

"She didn't used to!" Crash asserted. "She used to be as cool about this as I was." He turned to Warren with a murderous glare in his eye. "Until that night in the fucking cabin."

"What?" Warren said.

"I thought we had fixed that, you know, for about a year after. But it keeps coming back to haunt me. Oh, she doesn't come right out and say 'make love to me the way Warren did, ' she just hints."

"Jay," Sophia said, "I thought that that night had affected you, too. You k now, when you were with me."

"It did, to a point," Crash admitted. "But only to a point. Hey, great sex is great sex. I'm not going to deny for a second that I learned a lot from you that night, Soph. But I don't want Jessie to be you."

"And you think Jessie wants you to be me," Warren said.

"Exactly right. And I refuse to give her the fucking satisfaction."

"Then why do you want to try to get back with her?" Warren asked.

"Because I still love her!"

"No, you don't," Sophia said. "You love someone that doesn't exist any more. She's changed."

"Yeah, and that's all his fault!" he screamed, pointing at Warren. "You motherfucker! You are the one that fucked her up!"

"Be that as it may," Warren said, "it happened, we all agreed to it, and we can't take it back. You have to deal with the now, Crash. She wants more from you. If you're unable to give it, you should just let it be."

"Whose side are you on?" Crash demanded.

"Nobody's," Warren said.

"Bullshit. Jessie came down here with her little sob story, and now you're all on her side. Shit, I'm surprised she didn't try to get you into bed, so she could relive her wonderful little cabin experience."

"Well, Sophia was here," Warren said, not exactly lying.

"Like that would make a difference," Crash grinned. "Sophie probably would've told you to go for it while she sat on the couch playing with herself. I know Sophie well enough."

Warren tried to hide the flash of astonishment that flitted over his face. He wasn't completely successful.

Crash looked at him in horror. "You didn't. You DID! You fucked my girlfriend!"

"No, I didn't," Warren said. "You don't have a girlfriend. She broke up with you."

"Because of YOU!" Crash howled.

"No, because of you," Warren countered. "You are perfectly capable of treating her the way she deserves to be treated. If you didn't do that, that is not my fault."

"Oh, yeah, right. How can I compete with you? You fucked her up for me, admit it."

Warren was starting to lose his temper. "Listen to me, you unfeeling asshole. Jessie stood in this room yesterday and told me she was in love with me. Do you know how much that cost her? I'm her best friend's fiance, and she knew she was never going to be able to break Sophie and me up. And you could've made all that go away! She'd rather be in love with you! It was a lot easier that way. Even after the events in the cabin, she still wanted to be with you!"

"And you fucking blew it. Don't blame me because you blew it. When she came into this room yesterday, she was pathetic. You have no idea how depressed she is, do you?"

"Oh, she's so full of shit," Crash said. "Whine whine whine, that's all she does lately. Depressed, my ass."

That was the last straw for Warren. "You know what? When she came into this room yesterday afternoon, she was depressed. When she left-which was this morning by the way-she wasn't. Because she was with two people that love her, and want her to be happy."

"Jesus Christ, you stole my fucking girlfriend and you're getting all sanctimonious about it?!?"

"I didn't steal your girlfriend," Warren countered. "I have one of my own. Jessie needed us yesterday. Not the other way around. And we both love her, so we let her have what she needed. And you, who have been with her for all those years, were incapable of letting her have what she needed. And you say you're in love with her? Fuck that. You don't deserve her."

The next thing Warren knew, he was flat on his ass on the floor, bleeding profusely from his mouth. And Crash was on his way out the door.

"Warren!" Sophia screamed, rushing over to him. "Are you all right?"

"I don't know," Warren said. "That went so well, didn't it?"

About two hours later, Jessie got a phone call from Sophia, telling her to come over. When she got to the basement door, Sophia was waiting for her there, outside the apartment.

"I have to prepare you. Warren looks pretty bad. We just got back from the emergency room. He's got stitches in his lip."

"What happened?"

"Crash slugged him," Sophia said.

"Oh NO!" Jessie wailed, and rushed into the apartment. She ran over to Warren, who was sitting in a chair, an ice bag held to his face in one hand, Betsy in the other. "Warren, I'm so sorry!"

"Why, you didn't hit me," he said bemused.

"No, but I got you into the middle of this."

"Jess. I'm where I want to be. Got that?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "Thanks. What happened?"

"You tell her, Sophie, my mouth hurts." Sophia told Jess all that had happened.

"So, he knows," Jess said after Sophia was finished.

"Yeah," Warren said. He had the ice pack off for a minute. Betsy was starting to fuss, so he walked her over to Sophia, who was sitting on the bed. "Here's Momma, sweet thing," he said to Betsy.

"Warren, I can't help but feel bad. I mean, it sounds like you just lost your best friend," Jessie said.