Business was slow and, as such, I decided to take advantage of the extra bedroom in my house by renting it out. I placed an ad in the local newspaper, keeping it simple and straight to the point. It read: Liberal male looking for male/female to share nice furnished house. $400 a month covers all. Serious inquires only-call 999-2112.

"What's liberal supposed to mean? Are you gay or something?" Was the response that I received several times. My reply was always " No and your girlfriend doesn't think so either." Little did I realize that liberal often meant being gay in the personals scene. The call that stuck out the most however was the one that made me sit down and share this with you.

"Good evening sir. I do not wish to bother you but are you the gentleman looking for somebody to come and live with you?" A shy timid female voice asked politely.

I was having quite a day and so my response was swift. "Why yes I am but unfortunately I do not have much time right now to discuss it but if you'd like to see the place drop by around seven." I then proceeded in giving the girl directions to my home. She said that seven was great for her and that she looked forward to meeting me.I thought nothing more on the subject since I had more pressing things on my mind-namely Susan my fiancee. it seems that Susan had grown bored with the way her life was going and so she decided to move to New York and try to become an actress or a model-whatever. I told her thanks for the memories, we'll always be friends, yada yada yada. She in turn told me that I didn't have to act this way and I shot back -' Whose acting?'.

That shakespearean tragedy was around 4 in the afternoon. Forgetting about my appointment I took an nap for a couple of hours and when I finally woke up I decided to work out my frustration concerning old what's her name by doing an hour on my stair climber. When I excercise, when the stars and the planets are properly aligned, I like to feel as comfortable as possible so I usually wear just my little black calvins. Halfway into my exercise I heard a knock on the door.

Figuring that it was probably Susan coming to beg me for my forgiveness I yelled out " Come on in bitch" knowing just how much Susan enjoyed being called this little term of endearment. Imagine my surprise when I heard the voice from the phone respond without skipping a beat. " Yes sir. I am so sorry if I am late. Please do not be upset with me."

At this juncture I was facing the corner of my living room and could not see the girl but immediately I realized that she was not Susan. She was humble. As I tried to think of an appropriate response I continued my workout since I was slightly embarrased and feared I may have offended her. I did however wish to ease any tension that may have been created by my blunder so I replied in jest " That's okay slave. I forgive you. Just do not do it again or you'll be punished accordingly." I almost fell off the machine when I heard her response.