Chapter 57

Don and Marion were waiting at the Newcastle airport and drove Karla and Doug back to the castle with them. The others in the large Los Angeles party formed a caravan of vehicles and followed. When they arrived, Barbara Sloan took over and acted as hostess while the Whitfields and the Queen, along with Paula, met in the library. Mary and Ann, who had earlier arrived with Paula from Prague, were settling Mike and Mark, while the two pairs of tigers were having their own joyful reunion.

Queen Elizabeth was on her feet when Karla entered. Taking the girl by her arms, Liz just held her and looked at her. “If I wasn’t seeing it with my own eyes, I would not believe it,” she said. “Queen Karla, when I first met you, I thought you were one of the most beautiful women in the world. But today... ! your former beauty pales into insignificance. Could I see you bare?”

In an instant Karla was bare and standing proudly in her golden nudity. Then Elizabeth smiled warmly and said, “Clearly, married life becomes you.” Then she raised an eyebrow and said, “However, Duchess of Newcastle, I gave you an assignment for your honeymoon. Do you remember?”

Karla just grinned, dropped to her knees, spread them wide and opened her mouth.

“I’ll be damned!” Elizabeth mused. “I can’t quite make out the pattern on the carpet, but I do see some light.” Shaking her head, with an amused grin on her face the Queen said, “Karla Whitfield, you are just too much!”

Liz helped Karla to her feet, and continued to hold both her hands as she changed the tone of the conversation. “When we first met at Buckingham Palace, you will recall I upset my equerries by greeting you as Queen Carla of Bohemia. It appears my greeting was just a few months premature. But now your people have corrected the record, and I couldn’t be more pleased!”

Moving into the Queen’s arms, Karla hugged her tightly and whispered, “But, Your Majesty, I’m so scared!” Then she moved away just far enough to be able to look into Liz’s eyes and said, “You were trained almost from birth in the duties of a monarch. But what about me? I don’t know anything... !” she wailed as she hugged Elizabeth tightly and cried on her shoulder.

The Queen comforted her, led her to a sofa and sat down beside her. Then she nodded to Paula who was standing beside a television set with a controller in her hand. “I think you should see a few things, Karla,” Liz said softly. “Paula brought some tape from Prague that you really should see.”

Gently she lifted Karla’s head from her shoulder so she could see the screen, too. When she nodded, Paula pushed the Play button and the television set came to life.

The first scene was an interview with a lovely little girl. It was Karla Kosta Koenig. Seeing her, Karla sat up in her seat to better hear what the little girl was saying. Meanwhile, Paula quietly translated for the Queen. The reporter asked the little girl what she thought about Karla becoming Queen of Bohemia.

The little girl replied, “I think it’s absolutely wonderful! And guess what? I am offering my life to her service. You see, sir, had it not been for Queen Karla, I would already be dead. My life’s ambition is to sacrifice my life to save hers. She is so sweet and loving—”

“Stop it!” Karla screamed with tears flowing from her eyes. Paula instantly hit the Pause button on the controller and just looked at Karla who, in turn, was looking at the image of the little girl now frozen on the screen. Talking to the little girl’s image she said, “My darling, you can’t be serious! Your whole life is ahead of you. Why on earth would you want to sacrifice yours for mine?”

“Do you really want to know?” Paula asked softly. “If you do, just watch the tape.” With that she restarted the tape deck.

“She is so sweet and loving,” the little Karla continued. “But that’s not all. You see, sir, her whole life has been dedicated to the people of our country. Never does she think of herself. She thinks only of us and what’s best for us. She wants the Czech people...” she grinned and corrected herself, “the Bohemian people ... to be as good as they possibly can be in the sight of Almighty God.

“But she’s really one of a kind. She must be protected at all costs, because there’s no one else like her. That’s why we want her to be our ruler. We love her and we trust her. We know she will do only things that are good for us and good for our nation because they will be pleasing in God’s eyes. That’s why I want to offer my life to protect hers.”

Karla just sat staring at the now-blank screen. Paula said softly, “That little girl just summarized the plebiscite, Karla. The people swept everything else aside and are giving you a blank pad to write on. They’re confident you will do the right thing. And so am I!”

Spinning around toward Liz, Karla pleaded, “Tell them they’re wrong! You know better than anyone how a ruler can misrule. Tell them not to do it. They’ll listen to you.”

“Karla,” Elizabeth said softly, “it must be the hand of God Himself, because your people are doing exactly the right thing. Now tell me what you’re going to do. What about taxes, for example?” The Queen thought that focusing on specific tasks might serve to overcome Karla’s inchoate fears.

“We’re going to have a flat tax,” Karla replied. “There will be a large exemption for each person in the family, and a flat rate — I guess 18 percent to start — beyond that. There will be no tax on business, savings, or capital gains, nor will there be any inheritance taxes.”

Looking at Liz she said, “That sounds pretty dumb, doesn’t it?”

“No,” the Queen said quietly, “it sounds rather brilliant to me. What about transport?”

“I’m going to privatize everything that isn’t nailed down. Initially, there are going to be a lot of people out of work when we shutter all the ministries, but our basic infrastructure is really creaky. We need new roads, bridges, sewer and water systems, sewage treatment plants ... everything. That’s all got to be built or rebuilt and the work will provide a lot of jobs while the rest of the country gets cranked up. I plan on having a Ministry of Defense, a Home Ministry with public works and public safety in it. That will include the police. Oh! I guess we have to have a Foreign Ministry, Finance Ministry and Justice Ministry, too.”

“What about the courts?” the Queen prodded.

“We’ll have local courts, of course,” Karla replied. Then holding her head up she said, “I’m going to act as the Supreme Court myself, for a while at least.”

She paused and then added, “Pretty egotistical, isn’t it?”

“No, darling. It’s very wise,” Liz said. Then she slowly shook her head and said, “Queen Karla, you are going to stand Europe on its collective head. But what about social security and social welfare programs? They’re bankrupting most of Europe right now.”

“We’re going to have medical and retirement IRA’s like they’re talking about in the States. The people can manage the money themselves and buy the medical care they need. I want my people writing checks to the people and facilities they want to use, not the ones some bureaucrats in Prague want them to use. As for the elderly and infirm, they represent a national obligation. We’ll continue to provide for their care.”

“Utterly unbelievable!” Elizabeth exclaimed. Then with a grin she added, “Is there room for an unemployed queen? I just may abdicate my throne and move to Bohemia. It sounds like it’s going to be a really neat place to be.”

Then Karla asked Paula, “What is the reaction of the government people — or the former government people?”

“About what you would expect, Your Majesty...” Paula began. She stopped when she saw Karla’s eyebrow raised. “Well, what can I call you? I certainly can’t call you Karla...”

“And why not? I really do prefer it to ‘turkey’ which is your favorite term. Of course it’s not as friendly as ‘dumb blonde’ or ‘dumb bitch.’” Karla appeared to be thinking for a moment and then added, “I guess ‘Karla’ ought to be okay.”

Then she took Paula into her arms and kissed her with all of her power unleashed. A tribute to Paula was that, although she became light-headed from the power of Karla’s love, joy and grace, she didn’t faint.

When they finally eased apart, Paula just shook her head to clear it.

With her eyes wide she said, “Paula, make it ‘Karla.’ Please?”

“All I can say, Karla, is that the people have no idea of what they’re really getting. You are the finest thing that could possibly happen to a nation. And it’s pretty obvious that Her Brittanic Majesty agrees with me.”

“I certainly do,” Elizabeth said. “And I hope I made that clear earlier.”

Paula continued with her response. “But to your question, darling Karla, the response is what you might expect. The few people in the ministries who really make things work are cheering. The rest are pretty glum.” She grinned and then shook her head in feigned sadness, “What a stinking shame! After all these years, they might actually have to work for a living.”

“Which one or ones do you want, Paula?” Karla asked softly. “But you can’t have more than three ministries, at least not at the beginning.”

“Karla Whitfield, get serious!” Paula exclaimed. “I barely graduated from high school...”

“And the Prime Minister awarded you the Civilian Medal of Honor, turkey, for exemplary service to the nation,” Karla interrupted. Then airily she added, “Or would you rather I have you beheaded?”

Paula studied the girl closely and managed to smother a grin. “And you would do it, too! Just for spite. I can tell.” Then she stuck out her tongue and added, “But if you cut off my head, I’ll never speak to you again!”

Then she said softly, “Could ... could ... could Fred stay on at the Home Ministry? He’s really doing a good job. John Wulf is really doing a very fine job at the Finance Ministry. His people are the ones who worked out the changeover from our present social security system to the one you’re proposing, darling—”

“But how could he possibly?” Karla asked, utterly astonished. “There is no new system, nor even an idea for one, until a few moments ago!”

Now looking very embarrassed, Paula replied softly, “Because I told him it would be your new system. It’s the obvious way to go—”

“For the most brilliant civil servant in the world, perhaps, but it’s certainly not obvious to everyone,” Karla interrupted. “Now, back to my question. Which ministries do you want?”

“May I just stay where I am?” she asked softly. “I ... I think I can better serve you there than anywhere else.”

Karla had agreed with some reluctance when Ann and Mary appeared. To the surprise of everyone, they stood before Karla and made perfect court curtsies, then dropped to their knees before her. Initially, Karla thought they were teasing, but looking into their eyes as they remained kneeling before her, she wasn’t at all sure.

“What are you doing down on your knees?” she demanded. “You’re my sisters, for Heaven’s sake!”

“But you are our sovereign,” Ann replied softly.

“But I’m naked!” Karla nearly screamed.

“You are our sovereign,” Mary repeated.

Turning to Elizabeth, Karla said, “Liz, could you help me? Please? What’s going on? Why are they acting this way?”

“Do you really want to know?” Liz replied. When Karla eagerly nodded, she said, “Let me tell you what my daughter, Anne, said. And she was speaking of all three of you when she said it. She said that she watched you carefully to try to see what you did and how you did it. ‘Mother, for years and years I’ve heard the phrase, “to the manor born.” But until I met Karla, Mary and Ann, I never really knew what it meant.

“‘If the royal families on the continent had behaved with a tiny fraction of the caring and love that those three exude, they would still be sitting on their thrones. And you know something else, Mother?’ she asked. ‘They probably wouldn’t have to contend with parliaments, either.’

“And you know something else, Karla?” Elizabeth concluded. “She was absolutely right!”

Hearing the Queen’s words, Karla dropped to her knees, wrapped her arms around Mary and whispered, “I’ve missed you so!” Then she melted her lips to Mary’s and unleashed her full power. Mary did the same thing, and everyone else could actually see the electricity the two generated. Finally easing away, Karla did the same thing when she turned to Ann who was kneeling beside Mary.

When the three stood up, Ann held Karla in her arms and just slowly shook her head. “Never in all of history has a woman looked as beautiful as you do right now, Karla. You are utterly gorgeous!”

“But what if my loyal subjects could see me this way?” Karla asked.

“They would adore you even more than they do now,” Mary responded. “Darling, don’t you see? You are one of them! You suffered for them! And they know it. But at the same time, as Her Majesty so correctly pointed out, you are utterly regal.

“Karla Whitfield, you should see yourself this instant. You are stark naked, yet you would be identified as a reigning monarch by anyone who entered this room. It’s in your genes, darling sister!”

Karla slipped on her bikini, shrugged into her dress and Doug quickly zipped it up for her. Since her hair was still in its urchin cut, she just shook her head hard and again it looked perfect. Then she sat down in a wing chair in preparation for a talk with the girls about an idea she just had, when Susie materialized before her.

To Karla’s embarrassment, Susie executed a perfect court curtsy and said, “Good afternoon, Your Majesty!”

“Would you please knock off the shit, Susie Sloan!” Karla screamed. “I may have to take it from my sisters, but I certainly expect better from you! An archangel, for Heaven’s sake, sitting at the right hand of God Almighty, bowing to me? Have you had the water checked up there lately? Susie Sloan, you’re losing it completely!”

Susie’s face had remained completely impassive while Karla had been storming. “Are you finished yet?” she inquired softly. Her quiet words had the desired effect on Karla who sagged back into her chair like a punctured balloon.

“Did you notice something different, Your Majesty?” she asked softly.

Karla looked at Susie carefully and slowly shook her head. “No, I didn’t,” she replied. “Other than the fact that you’re wearing a lovely dress ... And even a double strand of pearls.” Finally Karla concluded, “No, Susie, I don’t. Except you’re even more lovely than you usually are. So what is different?”

“What’s different is that I appeared without having been called,” Susie replied. “I haven’t done this in an awfully long time. Now why do you suppose that is?” Again Karla just shook her head. “It’s an effort to give you a different point of view. Are you interested?”

“Of course I’m interested,” Karla replied. “How could I not be?”

“The Boss thinks it’s absolutely the neatest thing He’s ever heard of. He’s beside himself with joy. And the King and Queen of Bohemia? Good grief! They are virtually jumping up and down constantly, they’re so happy. In fact, I don’t think they’ve sat down since the plebiscite was held.” Then with a little grin she added, “Now why don’t you tell the twins what’s in store for them?”

“Susie, I have no—”

“Bullshit! — sorry, Boss, but things are starting to get out of hand — You know darned well what you were going to do. Now do it!” Susie interjected.

“Before I do anything,” Karla replied with her nose in the air, “I have to confer with my better half.” Turning to Doug she said, “Darling, over the last months I’ve come to trust your judgment with my life. And I have, in fact. What do you think? After all, before Almighty God Himself, I swore to love, honor, and obey! What should I do?”

“Darling, there’s no decision to make,” Doug said, speaking up for the first time. “You must serve your people. It’s in your genes. You suffered unspeakable torture for them! I know it. You know it. But most importantly, they know it! That’s why the people of Bohemia have done what they’ve done.”

He paused and then continued, “I vividly remember what Karl, the bell captain at the Ritz in Prague, said that first night: you are revered by your people. You are a walking saint in their eyes. They trust you to do the right thing for them! Now why don’t you just tell Ann and Mary what they’re going to bring to our little party?”

“What do I tell them?” she asked with a little grin.

“You tell them that one will handle all external affairs and national defense while the other looks after domestic affairs. You will occupy yourself by traveling around the country just talking to your subjects and ensuring that things are working properly,” he replied with the same grin on his face.