Chapter 44

As they were rolling up the driveway at the country club, Jack said, “Oops! I knew I forgot something. This game is played with golf clubs, isn’t it? And I don’t have any. I don’t suppose they rent them at a club like this, either, do they?”

It was the same club to which the Cliffords belonged, and at which the tournament had been played the day before. “No problem,” Jim Conroy declared. Then he laughed and added, “You’re not going to believe the deal I have with Bill Clifford. Awhile ago he was bitching as he usually does about everyone making money and no one spending it.

“So I offered him a great deal. When I sell a member of his family or a friend anything, they charge it to his account, but I also send him a direct bill for the same total amount. He thinks it’s just great. So not to worry, Jack. You’ll have a new set of clubs, and there will be more money in the Conroy family coffers. And remember: Now we have a wedding to pay for.”

After changing in the men’s locker room, Ken and Mike went over to the practice tee, while Jim took Jack to the pro shop. After looking Jack over carefully, Jim said casually, “You always play with rented clubs?” When Jack admitted that he did, Jim continued, “And you take very easy swings, don’t you?” Again, Jack admitted that he did.

“You have to,” Conroy said. “And you’re like all the other muscle men who wander around in the boondocks like Ken and Mike. You’re not at all like us LMD drivers. Personally, I find that soft-flex ladies clubs are about right for me.”

“Right, Dad!” Jack said. “And one of these days you’re going to have to tell me about some of those hazardous missions you flew with your desk, too.” He shook his head and added, “There really haven’t been a lot of desks awarded Air Force Crosses lately.”

Jim just grinned, selected the clubs, a putter and a bag. Then they were off. As they went toward the practice tee, Jack said, “Dad, unless they have a strange way of putting on price tags, I could swear that these clubs cost more each than I would expect to pay for a complete set.”

“Titanium’s expensive,” Jim said with a shrug. “What can I say?”

At the practice tee, Jim observed his first couple of swings, then adjusted his grip. After a few more, he made a minor adjustment in Jack’s stance, and then told him to really get his hips into his swing. To his amazement, his shots kept going farther and farther, yet continued to be straight as arrows. Then leaving Jack to continue his practice, Jim took his own clubs and began to warm up.

The guys agreed to play a best-ball match with Ken Carlson and Mike Morris playing against Jim and Jack. As they were getting ready to tee off, Jim took Jack’s hand, gripped it and said, “Welcome to the Conroy family, Jack. Hank told me what a wonderful time Sam had with you last night. I don’t have to tell you she loves you more than life itself. However, I want you to know that Hank and I think you’re pretty great, too. So I hope this is just the first of many times we’ll have a chance to play golf together.”

Then he grinned and added, “Of course, when we play at home you’ll find your wife and your mother-in-law playing nude. Hank claims that seeing her tits bounce around upsets my concentration. And you know what? She’s right.”

Jim carried the team for the first six holes, while Jack became familiar with his new clubs. He began to make a contribution and won the 9^th hole for his team. At the turn, when they stopped to eat, the match was even. While they were sipping their beers and waiting for their burgers to appear, Jack thought about the previous night and their conversation with the Lord.

When there was a break in the chatter, he took the opportunity and asked Morris, “Mike, I have a question for you. To put it into perspective, it was one raised by the Boss Himself.” As he said it, he nodded upward. His last comment certainly served to get the attention of the others. Mike was all ears as Jack continued, “Tell me: In what way could your life be significantly improved?”

Mike looked at Martin closely and decided he was serious. So Mike thought for a while and then started slowly to shake his head. Finally he said, “I really don’t think it could be, Jack. Honestly, I don’t. I have a wife who...”

Then words failed him. “I don’t know how to characterize Judy. Honestly, I don’t. I’ve thought about it before and decided that if I could write my own specifications for the perfect wife, my ideal couldn’t be as good as Judy already is. I could tell you from now till next week, but I still wouldn’t get it all. She’s just perfect.

“And because she is, I have the greatest family in the whole world. Take young Mike, for example. He’s engaged to Ken’s daughter. Can you believe it? Engaged to marry the daughter of the greatest military hero and one of the most self-sacrificing heroines in the world. And all I get is love, in endless quantities.” Then he shook his head and answered decisively, “It could not possibly be better than it is. That’s all there is to it.”

Turning to the other two, Jack asked the same question and got the same answer. Then Ken Carlson elaborated. “Jack, years ago — just before we met Hank and Jim, as a matter of fact — Kathy and I had some money problems. Do you know what she said? She said that if the only way she could be with me was if we lived in a mud wallow in a cage at the zoo, she would rejoice. If the only way she could take me was in the mud with an audience watching, she would love it as long as she could be with me. That’s all that matters, she said — being with me.”

Then Ken shook his head and continued, “I’ve thought about her words any number of times since then, and it’s been years since she said it. Do you know what? I’m certain that they are true. Honest to God, Kathy would make love with me in a mud wallow at the zoo, and she would rejoice in it.”

Tears started to stream down his cheeks as he added, “She is the best wife in the world. That’s all. She’s perfect. And because she’s perfect, our life together is perfect.” He just shook his head and concluded, “So how could my life be better than it is? There’s just no way ... No fucking way at all.”

Their hamburgers were served, and as they started to eat, Jim Conroy said, “Jack, last night you heard a lot about the trials and tribulations of the Conroys. There’s one thing I want to add. And it’s something I only learned a few months ago, and that was by accident. You heard how shot up I was, and how the doctors didn’t think I would ever walk again. In fact, no one did ... except Hank! She got me out of the hospital and brought me to an apartment she had rented. There were just Hank, Sam and Tommy.

“Well, you heard Sam say that Hank would work on my leg and finally come out of the room with tears streaming down her face so hard she couldn’t even see. Well, Samantha really doesn’t know it all. You see, Hank worked on my leg every day for hours at a time. The new information I learned was that top physical therapists, working on a man’s leg — let alone one as strong as mine — would have one fifty-minute session a day. That was a full day’s work because it’s so physically taxing.