Chapter 34

“That was utterly spectacular!” Marion declared. “Except, Kathy Carlson, I know damned well you did it just to make me feel badly. Why are you Yanks still trying to get even for some unpleasantness from 200 years ago? I mean ... Really!”

They had just finished an utterly magnificent dinner Kathy had prepared. Now they were sipping cognac and coffee, while savoring fine cigars.

Kathy idly studied the ash at the tip of her panatella and then replied, “What’s your problem, Marion? I mean in Ireland they’re still fighting the Battle of the Boyne, and that was 400 years ago. I don’t think I’m carrying a grudge at all ... hardly.”

Turning toward Ali at the head of the table, Marion cried, “Daughter, make her stop! You’re the senior partner in the Firm. Make her stop!”

Vainly trying to control a grin Ali replied with her eyes wide, “I’m sorry, Mother, but I can’t. First, Kathy Carlson is the largest business-producer in the Firm. In fact, one time she billed at the rate of about $20 million an hour!

But beyond that, dear, it should be obvious even to you by now that Kathy is the only thing standing between me and starvation. Since I was well down that road once before, I’m aware of how painful it can be. So I’m sorry, Mother. You will just have to bear up under Kathy’s insults.”

Then she looked sharply at Marion and added, “But I really fail to see the problem. I thought you Brits were famous for keeping a stiff upper lip in the face of adversity?”

At that crack, no one could maintain a straight face any longer, and they all howled with laughter.

“You were serious about the starvation remark, weren’t you, Ali?” Marion asked. “I could see a change in your expression.”

“Mom, let me tell you about Bill Clifford and me. On the morning I met him, I was literally starving to death. I think I weighed less than 100 pounds and had to pin my skirt to keep it from falling off. I think I had some sum of money like $7.64 to my name. I was literally starving to death.”

Then her face changed to a brilliant smile, “Then I met Bill. It was like a fairy tale, but no one would ever believe it if it were to be written. We were married about two hours later, and by that evening I was certain I was desperately in love with William Harrison Clifford.” With a grin she interjected, “Can you imagine? Falling in love with your husband after you’re married? I guess it was about three months later that our marriage was consummated and then a year to the day after we were married by a judge, we were joined in Holy Matrimony in the Church.”

Then she looked intently into Marion’s eyes and added, “Darling, I can see that you feel the same way toward Don that I feel for Bill. Most people just wouldn’t understand what I’m going to say. You see, Bill Clifford is my life. When he dies, I shall be dead within two weeks. I can’t live apart from him, so I will join him as soon as I can.”

“I do understand, Daughter,” Marion said softly. “And it is exactly the same with Don and me...”

“Would you kindly speak to her?” Don demanded. “You’re her daughter, after all. Would you please talk her out of this ... this insanity! I’m 82 years old, while she’s only 28. When I go, she will become the dowager Duchess of Northumbria...”

“For a week or so, until she dies, too,” Ali interjected. “I think it was a beautiful girl who you likely will meet in a day or so, Samantha Conroy, who figured out the relationship. She was speaking about her parents, but those of us who have heard the story realize it applies equally to all of us. You see, Don, the wife is the guiding force in the family, but the husband is the winding key. When you die, Marion will just run down with no one left to provide her power.”

With her eyes calm, she added, “I’m sorry, Donald Whitfield, but that’s just the way it is. It’s true for me, it’s true for Marion, and it’s true for Kathy Carlson.

“Let me tell you about Kathy. We learned this from Sam Conroy, too. She used to write letters to Ken when he was in Vietnam. They were all written on the same blue stationary, using the same blue ink. They were recognized all over as Kathy-grams. Ask Jim Conroy. He saw them work first hand. Ken came out of the jungle with his men, and their asses were dragging. He was greeted with a stack of Kathy’s letters.

“Jim watched as Ken read them; it was as if a battery was being recharged. You see, Don, that’s exactly what was happening. The power of Kathy’s love for Ken is so great that even the love that was on the paper was enough to restore him. Sam continued: she said that if the power of her love on paper was enough to enable Ken to perform superhuman feats of heroism, think of what it will be like when he absorbs so much more when he plugs his cock into her wetness.”

Ali just shook her head and said, “She was exactly right. Together, these two are beyond belief. Just look at them. You’ll see them holding hands. Why? Because there’s a shared need to be in contact whenever they can.”

With a guilty little smile, Kathy lifted her hand from beside her. She was gripping Ken’s.

Then Ali’s eyes took on a piercing look as she focused on Don, “You are exactly the same, Donald Whitfield. Although we only met today, I can tell that Marion utterly adores you. Had it not been for the fact that we all feel the same way toward our husbands, I probably wouldn’t have known what I was seeing. But we do, and she does.

“Do you really want to know what it’s like for Marion every night? Her cunt is running with her fluids. She is shivering with anticipation, wondering which of her openings will first be penetrated by your cock. Because of your incessant lovemaking, and the fact that she was a virgin until a few days ago, her cunt is probably so sore she can’t touch it, her asshole feels like it’s been stretched to such a degree it’s impossible for her to hold anything in, and it hurts so much she can hardly sit down. Her throat hurts so badly from taking your cock almost to her stomach she can hardly eat. Yet she can’t wait for you to take her again.

“I’ll bet, Donald Whitfield, that you will find unhealed cuts on the inside of her mouth. I know they’re there because I felt them with my tongue when I kissed her. What are they from? They’re from biting down on anything to keep from screaming out loud from the pain of your entry — wherever you’re entering.”

Don turned toward Marion, who tried to avoid him. Gently he folded down her lower lip and saw where it had repeatedly been bitten. He was genuinely shocked. “Darling! Why didn’t you tell me I was hurting you?”

“Because if I had, darling, you might not have fucked me,” she replied simply. “I can live with a little pain, Don, but I can’t live without your cock. Ali is exactly right: I need it inside me to go on living.”

Then she shook her head and continued, “Do you remember that first afternoon when you took me down to the torture chamber?” Don’s eyes widened as he remembered it vividly. “After that first incredible experience I remember thinking that if I had to submit to 100 lashes each day in order to have you take me, it would be a cheap price to pay.”

Now Marion’s eyes were flashing blue sparks as she continued, “We learned that both Karla and Susie had the skin flayed off their bodies. We learned that, even in that condition, Susie took Steve Sloan inside her joyfully. Darling, I truly understand how she felt. I would cheerfully do the same thing. And I don’t recall who said it, but someone did. I would even show you where to whip me to cause the greatest pain. Do you understand, Donald Whitfield? I love you more than life itself.”

Don was so overcome, he could no longer speak. He just took his wife in his arms and held her tightly. As he did, he could smell the glorious fragrance that was her body. He whispered, “Darling, you can’t know what you’re saying...”

“I know damned well what I’m saying!” she exclaimed as she pulled away from his embrace. “You, Donald Whitfield, are my life. That’s the long and short of it. And there’s nothing either you or I can do about it, either. It’s just the way it is.”

At that instant Susie materialized, wearing a beautiful green chiffon cocktail dress. Instantly she went to Marion, wrapped her arms around the girl’s neck, and said, “Darling, you understand! I didn’t think anyone alive did. I know Steve certainly doesn’t. But, darling Marion, you’re absolutely correct: You understand perfectly. If having the skin flayed off my body was the price I had to pay to get Steve inside me one more time, it was a price I cheerfully paid.”

Then she eased away, looked at Don, and then shook her head. “I’m afraid we’re going to have to do something with your birth records, Don,” she declared. The Boss made a commitment to you both. You won’t age as long as your children keep having children. Since you’ve expanded your family to include some of the most fecund women alive, this is really going to be a drawn-out process. But, Your Grace, don’t worry about leaving Marion anytime soon. It’s not going to happen!” With that Susie disappeared as suddenly as she had appeared.

Don took a deep breath, looked at the ash on his cigar, and then said to Ali, “Thank you. I knew I loved Marion more than life itself. But I couldn’t believe she could possibly love me nearly as much. But she really does!” He just slowly shook his head in wonder at the thought.

“As I said, Don,” Ali commented softly, “had it not been for the fact that Kathy and I feel exactly the same way about our husbands as Marion feels toward you, I would never have said it.”

“Don,” Kathy Carlson interjected, “there’s one more thing: I doubt if you use much foreplay with Marion. Like me, I’m sure she runs rivers just looking at you. Nevertheless, instead of entering her quickly, fondle her first. Stroke her nipples. Lightly run your finger in her slit. That way she’ll be so overcome with passion, she won’t feel a thing, regardless of how badly she’s hurting. And she’ll stop biting herself to pieces.”

Don sincerely thanked her for the advice, but then Kathy turned to Marion. With her eyes dancing she said, “I do believe you said something about carrying a grudge and getting even, Your Grace?”

With a wicked gleam she continued, “Well, I really fixed you this time! Ask Ali about another granddaughter, Connie Cartwright. She’s Andy’s mother, who, I guess, is now your great-granddaughter. Anyway, Connie is a platinum blonde. One night her husband, Chip, was toying with her incredible body when he announced that it was a well-known fact that platinum blondes were very cold. They’re difficult — verging on impossible — to warm up. Well, being the caring kind of guy he is, he vowed, ‘Never again!’ He was going to be sensitive to her real needs.

“Anyway, he played with her to such a degree that Connie finally screamed, ‘Chip Cartwright, get that cock in my cunt where it belongs this instant, or I’ll cut it off and do it myself!’ Chip protested that he was just trying to keep from hurting her, but he did enter her.” Kathy cocked her head, remembering. Then she continued, “Afterward, Connie admitted it was the greatest fucking of her entire life.”

Then Kathy mused, “I wonder if that was the night Andy was conceived? It could have been...” Then turning back to Don she said, “Don, whatever Marion may say, just continue the foreplay. She’ll thank you later...” Her brows knitted as she concluded, “If there is a ‘later,’ that is.”

“Enough of this!” Ali declared. “I thought the reason for this get-together was to plot and scheme.” She looked at Anna and Maria and just shook her head. “You know, the world just isn’t fair. Why do two Czech girls have absolutely everything?” Then she added, “I just want you to know, sisters, that it would be impossible for either of you to ever look more beautiful than you do right now.”

“That’s not true,” Anna said softly. “It’s nothing compared to the way we will look after Mark and Mike kiss us. That will pale against the way we look at the altar. That, in turn, will give way to the way we look when we’re expecting our first child. Finally, the height of our beauty will be when we’re nursing a baby at our breast.”

Shaking her head she continued, “Watching you with baby Marion today was utterly incredible, Ali. Your beauty truly lights up the whole city. Yet with that baby in your arms, cuddling it, while it drew its sustenance from your body was utterly incredible. You truly love it, don’t you?”

“It’s a perfect experience,” Ali admitted softly. “But that’s neither here nor there. The object is to get you past Cerberus at the gate.”

She grinned and continued, “I guess there may be something to be said for having a couple of bucks...” She giggled as virtually everyone around the table raised an eyebrow. The Cliffords’ net worth was somewhere north of $50 billion and continuing to rise rapidly. “Anyway, a firm of private detectives located Caroline Campbell. She is, as reported, the consummate snob. Now what’s the best way to handle a snob?” she asked rhetorically. “It’s to make the snob come to you. And tonight’s newscast certainly didn’t hurt our campaign.”

The evening news on all three network stations and all the independents had been dominated by the arrival of the girls and the Duke and Duchess. Leading off with coverage of their arrival and greeting — the NBC outlet that they had been watching even showed the flight of aircraft and the starburst they made at the end — the newsman made a big thing of who the visitors were. “In Sir Donald Whitfield we have possibly the greatest hero alive in the world today. No less than Sir Winston Churchill has been quoted as telling the King of England that, had it not been for Sir Donald, England would have lost the Battle of Britain and the war. It was in tribute to him that the Air Force had the flyover at LAX. We have also learned that his wife, Duchess Marion, may be Her Majesty’s closest personal friend. See for yourself on this tape we received, courtesy of the BBC.”

There followed a scene that no one could remember having been shot. Evidently, though, it was taken the morning of Karla and Douglas’s wedding when the family had been riding. It showed the Queen sitting a horse beside Marion, mounted on Satan. The Queen was politely asked about the Oxford sweatshirt she was wearing and replied, “As you see, Her Grace is wearing her Cambridge sweatshirt.” Liz then grinned and added, “Of course, since Her Grace has a first from Cambridge, she came by hers honestly, while my degree from Oxford is purely honorary. But since I cannot beat her in anything, I wear this as a reminder to her that Oxford swept Cambridge from the river last year.” Then she leaned from her saddle to give Marion a warm kiss.

“What a magnificent animal!” Ali remarked about Satan. “He looks like he is standing at attention. He seems so proud!”

“He is,” Don responded. “For Satan, his highest mission in life is to please his mistress. Since she seems almost telepathic, whatever she thinks about, Satan does and does perfectly. You can see in this picture from his bearing how proud he is.”

Then there was more footage of them riding, with Elizabeth typically beside Marion as they cleared the jumps with perfect form.

The KNBC anchor, Joyce Johnson, then continued, now talking about the girls. There was the footage of the Ambassador from Sweden announcing the Nobel Prize award. Following was a panel involving a professor of physics at Cal Tech, the president of a local computer manufacturer, and the station’s society reporter.

The physicist explained that, as far as he knew, there was no one alive who could read the Mayday code. The president shook his head saying that it was impossible for Mayday to run on his company’s computers, but it did. But, he admitted, the machines ran far faster with Mayday than with their own proprietary operating system. But he had no idea how it could work.

“That’s the son of a bitch!” Anna murmured. “Good heavens! If it wasn’t for his stupid hardware, Mayday could be about one-third smaller than it is! The trouble Maria and I had working to immobilize that junk he sells as an operating system... !”

“Do you have his computers?” Ali asked, puzzled. “From the sound of it, you don’t like them very much.”

“They’re junk!” Anna replied, shaking her head.

“Then why did you bother?” she asked. “And how could you do it, if you don’t even have one of his machines?”

“It’s our oversized egos,” Anna explained. “Maria and I were determined Mayday would run on any computer. They’re not much, but they’re included in ‘any.’ So we just did it.”

“But how?” Ali persisted. Anna just shook her head and shrugged.

Finally, the station’s society reporter noted that between themselves, the girls had enough titles of nobility to cover two dozen women. “They don’t even bother with any title below that of Countess. And after all, Maria is Duchess of Burgundy, possibly the oldest title in Christendom. Past that, who cares?”

“No, I guess we got a decent press,” Maria said. “But, sister Ali, it sounds like you have a plan. Do you?”

“Not a plan,” Ali replied. “I have an approach.” She picked up a piece of paper that had been under her plate and continued, “How does this sound?”

In honor of Maria, Duchess of Burgundy, Duchess of Norfolk, Marquise of Toledo, Countess of Jutland; and Anna, Duchess of Suffolk, Marquise of Flanders, Countess of Pavia, the William Harrison Clifford Foundation is sponsoring a one-day pro-am golf tournament. All entry fees, along with a matching contribution from the Foundation, will go for the children in the Czech Republic of parents who lost their lives fighting for their country’s freedom. The Foundation will cover all the costs of the tournament.

Because of the splendid cooperation of the Ladies Professional Golfers’ Association, the Foundation can promise that the 20 top players on the LPGA tour will be present, as will the Duchesses.

All country clubs invited to send a player are urged to hold an auction, with the high bidder invited to participate. If the proceeds from the auction are sent to the Foundation, they, too will be matched and added to the gift.

“Ali!” Anna cried, “It is too much!”

“No, it isn’t, darling sister,” Ali replied. “I’m not sure it’s even enough.” Looking into the girl’s emerald-green eyes she continued, “I know that you and Maria prostituted yourselves to eat. I know that, from time to time, both of you even subsisted on garbage.”

Now blue sparks shot from her eyes as she continued, “It will not happen again! I heard about Barb and Karla in the children’s death ward, and cried. Can you imagine? A little girl praying for the boy in the bed next to hers, but not even asking God to help her? It will not happen again! I swear it!”

“No wonder you are blessed by Almighty God,” Maria said softly. “And you’re exactly like Karla, Barbara, and our mother. As beautiful as you are externally, it’s only a fraction of the beauty that’s within. You are overflowing with Divine grace. And, Allison McGrath Clifford, you deserve every bit of it.”

Maria paused and then with tears starting to flow, she jumped from her chair, then sat across Ali’s lap and kissed her with all the love she could convey. When the two eased apart, both were lightheaded. “Ali, nothing makes me prouder or more humble than to have you as my sister. I can’t believe it. I really can’t!”

“You can’t believe it, Little Sister? What about me?” Ali asked. “I’m a girl from a tiny little town in Kansas — the middle of nowhere — who suddenly finds she’s the sister of Nobel-Prize-winning physicists, for Heaven’s sake. Is that all? Oh, no! They also carry the oldest titles of nobility in Christendom. And carry the very finest elements of Western Civilization, accumulated over millennia, in their genes. I can’t understand why you would ever bother with me!”

“Enough of this junk,” Kathy Carlson interjected. “We were talking about the tournament. What do you girls think? You’ll be playing, you know.”

Maria had returned to her seat beside Anna. Now the two girls looked at each other and just swallowed hard. This time it was Anna who spoke. She just shook her head and said, “We know next to nothing about golf,” she admitted. “We have one of those silly little electronic things, but neither of us has ever set foot on a real golf course in our lives. We’ve never even seen one!” she wailed.

Kathy just nodded her head and said, “Great! We’ll go out tomorrow. Jim Conroy is flying in from Hawaii tonight and will be meeting us at the club.” With a grin she added, “He’s really a great teacher, too. After just one lesson I won the LPGA Kapalua Open by fifteen strokes.”

“But before you disappear to the golf course, there’s something else,” Ali said. “Bill’s PR firm has taken the liberty of putting out the word to the media that they are representing you people. All contacts are to be made through them.”

Ali grinned and added, “It’s a damned good thing we did it, too. Their phones have been ringing off the hooks ever since the word went out. You know,” she continued, “it’s been utterly hilarious. Normally, PR people wine and dine the media and then plead to get some coverage. In this case, it’s reversed. Now all the media outlets are calling, reminding them of all the favors they’ve done, and begging for an opportunity to interview you people. Where, when, how, and by whom are all strictly up to you.”

Again Anna and Maria exchanged looks and just shook their heads in bafflement. They had no idea how to respond. “But what should we do?” Maria asked.

“The PR people have laid on an interview with ABC’s Good Morning, America!” Ali replied. “It’s set for tomorrow morning and will air live. The Foundation’s offices are suitably pretentious,” she added, “so we thought we would do it there. How about it?”

“But what do we do?” Anna asked.

“Girls, I have seen you on TV,” Ali replied. “You’re both naturals. You’re so beautiful, so warm, and so brilliant, you’ll just dazzle the hell out of them.”

Then with a smile that lit up the room she added, “And just think! You’re my kid sisters!”

Because of the time change coming west, both girls were up very early in the morning. Because of Ali’s brand new facilities, they were delighted that they had time to get in their full morning workouts. They exercised in the gym, swam — in world class time — soaked in the sauna and even had time for tanning. After showers and massages, they were ready to face the world, and it was still only seven-thirty.

Both Ali and Marion fussed over the girls. Finally they were ready. Both were wearing white sleeveless dresses. Anna was wearing a priceless emerald necklace with a matching bracelet, while Maria’s was identical in design but made with rubies.

They were chauffeured in Ali’s limousine to the office building in which she had her law offices. The Clifford & Jamison offices were on the 37^th and 38^th floors; the Foundation was headquartered on the 36^th. While the law offices were paneled in furniture-grade cherry, the Foundation offices were paneled in walnut. It looked like the office of a billion-dollar foundation which is what it was.