Chapter 31

It was only a day later when the great 767 with Doug and Karla Whitfield aboard settled onto the runway at Columbus, Ohio. The weather was lovely for their visit, very clear, but cold. There were only traces of snow on the ground but all the road surfaces were dry. Although theirs was a private aircraft, the general aviation facility at Columbus didn’t have the capability to handle a plane of its size. However, since the plane was maintained and crewed by United Airlines, they taxied to a vacant United jetway at the main terminal to disembark.

There were immigration and customs officials waiting when the door opened, but they were nonplused when they found Doug traveling on a brand-new UK diplomatic passport, while Karla had a choice of using her new UK diplomatic passport or the one she held from the Czech Republic.

When the senior customs & immigration officer called headquarters, he was told in no uncertain terms to leave the couple alone! Except, of course, to ensure that they had absolutely anything they might think to ask for. The order particularly extended to any cargo the aircraft might be carrying. Whatever it might be, the man was told, clear it immediately and pass it through.

When the appropriate orders were given, the Rolls Corniche convertible was unloaded, then the plane was closed up and towed to a United hangar for maintenance. Getting into the car on the apron, Doug followed an airport authority car to the nearest exit. The driver pulled aside and saluted as Doug passed.

Only then did Karla begin to feel nervous. “Darling,” she said softly, “I’m so scared! What’s Billy going to do? What will he say? What if he’s not home? Maybe his parents are off somewhere...”

The fact was that Doug shared Karla’s nervousness but felt he couldn’t admit it. “Honey,” he said, “we know damned well he’s home or soon will be. We got that straight from Susie, and she certainly knows.”

They drove out to the Wallace house, following detailed directions Susie provided. It wasn’t far from the campus of Ohio State University.

Billy Wallace, just home from school, was watching a video tape his mother had made for him. It was the most astonishing tape the boy had ever seen. It showed the wedding of Karla Kosta and Douglas Whitfield, but it showed so much more. One of the strangest elements of all was the fact that, while it showed a great deal, much of what it showed was not commented upon by the reporters. This included the golden cylinder at the altar — on the tape, it was so bright it came over as a blank spot — as well as the animated windows with sunlight shining through from opposite sides of the same structure.

Although it was not commented upon directly, one reporter did say that it was a phenomenon that occurred occasionally in large cities when sun reflects off the windows of one tall building back through the windows of another. But in this case, the village was on the moor. There were no large structures other than the castle for miles around. And the castle, being all stone, didn’t reflect light anyway.

But the most incredible thing of all was the singing, picked up and recorded on the video tape. It began in the church, but it didn’t diminish in any way when everyone was outdoors. The sounds were the most beautiful he had ever heard, and yet, remarkably, there was no mention of it at all.

After watching the tape through, Billy rewound it to the point at which the Queen of England, joined by Václav Havel, gave the homily. As he was about to start it again, his mother, Mary Wallace, joined him.

Mary was a beautiful but matronly woman of 54. She was wearing Levi’s and a sweatshirt, as she sat down on the floor beside him to watch. Again, they heard the tribute the Queen of England and the President of the Czech Republic paid to Karla and Doug, then watched as they exchanged vows.

When they heard, “What I have joined together, let no man put asunder,” Mary whispered, “That is Almighty God Himself performing the ceremony.” This time, when they reached the end of the ceremony, Mary raised the volume on the receiver. They looked at each other to see if the other had heard what each had thought he had.

When the magnificent singing began, Mary whispered, “I’m sure you’re right, Billy. Those are the multitudes of the Heavenly Hosts singing the praises of that couple. She shook her head and murmured, “Not in 2,000 years has this been heard.”

When the tape concluded, Mary said, “I hope to meet that woman someday. She is truly incredible.”

“Mommy,” Billy asked softly, “what is it about her? She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, but whenever I see her picture, I get the strangest feeling. Why is that, do you suppose? Do you think she’s possibly my real mother?”

“Darling, I wouldn’t be surprised,” Mary replied softly.

Then in a cheerful tone that was belied by the way she really felt she said, “The Prague newspaper came. Want to see what they have to say about the wedding?”

The two lay on the floor and spread out the paper. They subscribed to the leading paper in Prague, and had for several years. It was a part of the Wallaces’ effort to ensure that Billy knew as much about the Czech Republic as he could. All of the Wallaces’ read and wrote Czech, but Mary was the first to admit that their pronunciation was terrible. Billy’s accent was the best by far, but, she admitted to herself, it really wasn’t very good.

As they both had expected, virtually every story in the paper was about either the wedding itself or the nation’s reaction to it. Mary had the editorial page with the lead editorial — indeed, the only editorial — on the wedding. “The editor grumps a bit, but finally admits that Queen Karla could have done worse. He points out that Douglas is the grandson of the Duke who led Karl Kosta’s fighter squadron during the Battle of Britain. Both the Duke and Douglas have the Victoria Cross, the highest award for valor in the British Empire. Of course, from the editor’s point of view, no human is good enough for Queen Karla, but Douglas is close.”

At that point Mary rolled on her back on the floor and just looked at the ceiling. “Personally, I think it’s truly a story-book wedding. We’ve seen all those pictures of the castle and the lovely village.”

Turning on her side to look at Billy she asked, “How would you like to ride a horse over those walls chasing a pair of tigers? Isn’t that incredibly neat?”

“Mommy, the country is desolate, but it’s so beautiful. Do you think we might ever go over to England to see it?”

“Someday, perhaps,” Mary replied. It was a parent’s response to a child’s question when the parent truly believes the activity is out of the question but doesn’t want to say so.

In a complete change of subject, Billy asked, “Mommy, you and Daddy weren’t Catholic before I came. Why did you change your religion?”

“Because, my darling, your mother is a very devout Catholic. That’s why you were born, and how we were so incredibly lucky to get you. You see, honey, behind the Iron Curtain, the most common method of birth control was abortion. While we know nothing about your mother, we do know that she escaped from Czechoslovakia over the border to Germany, when she found out she was expecting you. She stayed at a tiny convent and worked there during her pregnancy.”

Tears came to Mary’s eyes as she continued, “Darling, she gave birth by herself. There was no doctor nor any pain killers. And she was a very young girl — not even seventeen years old.” Looking at the boy she said, “Do you realize, Billy, she was only about six years older than you are now?” Billy just shook his head.

“Anyway,” Mary continued, “your mother was very devout. Because it was impossible for her to raise you, she gave you to us. So Daddy and I became Catholics to be better able to raise you in your parents’ religion.”

Looking him straight in the eye, she added, “Billy, had we not, I’m not sure we would have understood what we were seeing a few minutes ago in the tape of the wedding. Can you imagine? God Himself came down to Earth to join a couple in Holy Matrimony. I thought it was the most incredibly moving experience of my life.”

“Why did you adopt me, Mommy?” Billy asked.

This was a question he had never asked, but was one that Mary Wallace had been expecting. Notwithstanding her expectation, when she heard the words, they hurt as badly as a knife being twisted in her belly.

She swallowed hard and replied, “Because I was incredibly stupid and selfish, Billy,” she said softly. “You know I was a lawyer — a pretty good one, too. But I was so stupid, I thought that what I was doing — writing briefs and trying cases — was far more important than motherhood.”

Tears were flowing from her eyes as she interjected, “God, how could I have been so stupid!” Trying to focus on Billy’s eyes she continued, “After all, there was always time to become pregnant, right? Forty-two years old isn’t too old to become pregnant. Wrong! When I finally decided to have a child, I no longer could. I suppose it’s God’s punishment for my hubris and my vanity.”

Then she shook her head and added, “But Billy, I want you to know that two parents could not have a better child than you. Try as we might, darling, there’s no way for your father or me to communicate how much we truly love you.”

Again, Mary rolled on her back, looked up at the ceiling and continued, “William Wallace, Jr., if I had nurtured you in my womb and nursed you at my breast, I couldn’t possibly love you any more than I do.”

Then her voice dropped almost to a whisper as she concluded, “Did you know, I actually tried? To nurse you at my breast, I mean. You were such a lovely infant. I would hold you at my breast, you would take my nipple in your mouth, but nothing ever came out. Then I knew — when it was much too late — that nursing is one of the greatest joys of being a woman. And I missed it...” As her tears became uncontrollable, Billy went to her and began kissing her, while she held him tightly.

A few minutes later, Mary had regained control so Billy got up so as not to embarrass her any more. He went to the window and was just looking out idly when he exclaimed, “Mommy! Come and see!”

Mary scrambled up from the carpet and joined him at the window. They saw a white Rolls convertible moving slowly and silently down the street. It was as if the driver was looking for a house number. Then the magnificent machine pulled up in front of their walk and stopped. A tall man got out, looked at the house, and then opened the passenger-side door.

“This looks like the neighborhood,” Doug said, as they rolled through the quiet streets.

“Will he hate me?” Karla asked. “My God! What I did to that infant!”

“What you did for him, darling,” Doug replied. “Look: You were a top agent for the Czech Resistance and had been one for years. The boy’s father had died moments after conception. How could you possibly have raised an infant under those circumstances? Karla Whitfield, you should thank Almighty God for placing Billy in a warm and loving home. You know he’s received infinitely more than you could ever have provided for him. Right?”

“I suppose so, darling,” Karla admitted. “By the way, Douglas Whitfield, I adore the sound of ‘Karla Whitfield.’ I guess it means we’re really married, doesn’t it?”

“That, and the sheet with your virginal blood on it that will be joining Mom’s over the mantel,” he replied with a grin.

“But darling, you’ve really made little progress on the Queen’s demand. She insists that she be able to see from my mouth down through my slit, and you can’t do it yet.”

“You heard Barbara last night,” Doug replied with a grin. “When we get off that island, you’ll think your last name is ‘Fuck.’ What do you think about that idea?”

“I can hardly wait, is what I think,” she replied softly. “Doug, you were so great last night. As much fun as we’ve had over the last month or so, it was nothing like last night.” Then she punched him on the arm.

“What was that for?” he complained.

“That, sir, was for spending ten minutes squeezing one of my tits and one of Mom’s to try to tell which one was firmer. First of all, both of your hands should have been on mine, and second, you never did say which one you liked better.”

“That’s true. I never did, did I?” he replied, but still didn’t answer the question.

Meanwhile, Doug had been carefully watching the house numbers. He saw, two houses away, a brick-faced colonial sitting exactly as Susie had described it. He smoothly pulled the car to the curb at the walk, set the brake and got out. Going around to Karla’s side, he opened the door and said, “Darling, this is it. Do you want to bring all the gifts in now?”

He knew her well enough now to recognize the signs of tension she was feeling. “No, darling. They’ll probably throw us out ... And they should.”

Karla was wearing her Russian sable coat over a white wool sleeveless dress. Beyond that, she was wearing only her gold collar and her watch, but she looked utterly magnificent. Taking Doug’s arm, they walked up to the door and rang the bell. A moment later, the door was opened by the most handsome eleven-year-old boy she had ever seen.

When he opened the door, Billy looked up and saw the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. Seeing the love and Divine grace in her eyes, he was certain. Stepping back from the door to let them enter the house, he said in nearly flawless Czech, “Good afternoon, Mother. Thank you for coming to see me.”

For Karla it was too much. Dropping to her knees on the carpet, she drew the boy close and just bawled like a baby. She couldn’t say a word.

Billy wrapped his arms around her neck and hugged her tightly. When he did, he smelled her incredible fragrance. Very gently he ran his fingers over her hair and just listened to her uncontrolled sobbing. When she regained control, he released his hold and moved back far enough to be able to kiss her. When their lips met, it was like nothing Billy had ever experienced or could even imagine. It was the most powerful flow of the purest love, goodness and Divine grace he could imagine. It almost knocked him out.

Moving back slightly, he said softly, still in Czech, “Please don’t cry, Mother. It’s not so bad, is it?”

In her flawless English she replied with a tiny grin, “No, my darling, it’s not bad at all.” Then she rose to her feet and added, “I’m so sorry, Billy. This isn’t what I wanted to do at all. Can you forgive me for the way I acted?”

With a wonderful bright smile he replied, “Well, I’ll forgive you partially. But I won’t forgive you for the kiss.”

When Karla began to look unhappy he continued, “I won’t forgive you, because it was the finest kiss I’ve ever experienced in my whole life. And if I forgave you, you might want me to give it back, and I won’t.”

Only then did Karla realize that Mary Wallace was standing a few feet away, just watching. Karla realized there were tears in her eyes. Extending her hand, Karla said, “Good afternoon, Mary Wallace. I’m Karla Whitfield, and this is my husband, Doug.”

With a lovely smile she added, “Would you believe it? This is the very first time I ever said ‘Karla Whitfield’ or referred to Doug as my husband. Boy, it’s really neat!”

“Your Majesty, I can’t tell you how honored we are to have you visit. Billy and I have seen and heard so much about you ... about you both. I can’t tell you what it means to have a true queen in our home. I’m overcome!”

“Mary, something’s got to change, and change fast! I can’t very well call you ‘Mary’ while listening to you address me with a full assortment of honorifics.”

Then with a grin she added, “But I think I’m starting to understand why the Queen of England insists that I call her ‘Liz.’ This ‘Majesty’ stuff gets very tedious, very fast. But may we come in?”

Again Mary was nonplused. “Oh, dear! I’m terribly sorry.” With a smile she added, “Karla, I’m forgetting my manners. Please come into the library. Billy and I were just reading in the Prague papers all about your wedding. Some of the stories are really quite funny!”

When they went into the library, Mary said, “Would you mind if I call my husband, Bill? He’s at the office, but can be home in less than thirty minutes. And when I tell him who’s here, he might even make it back in fifteen!” Karla and Doug said that they didn’t mind a bit.

While Mary was dialing the call, Karla motioned to Doug who left the room, went out to the car, and retrieved the picture the Queen had given them for Billy.

Meanwhile, Mary had reached Bill on his private phone. “Darling,” she said, “we have company. Queen Karla of Bohemia is here at the house with her brand-new husband, Douglas, Earl of Whitfield. Can you get away?”

She held the receiver away from her ear, and everyone could hear Bill’s yelp of surprise. A moment later, she quietly hung up the phone.

“How did you find us?” she asked softly. “I understand that given adoptive privacy and all that stuff, it’s not easy to do.” She paused and then continued, “But I guess, being royalty and connected across the whole continent of Europe, it wouldn’t be too hard, would it? And you are Billy’s mother, aren’t you?”

“Mary, I’ll tell you the truth,” Karla replied. “Less than six months ago, I didn’t even know that my baby was a boy. Although I gave birth by myself, the Mother Superior took him away while I was still so far gone from the pain that I didn’t even know my own name.”

“But how, then?” Mary said, puzzled. “I don’t understand.”

Rather than replying in Billy’s presence, Karla gave him the large wrapped package. “If you know about our wedding, you may know about this, too.” To Billy she said, “Honey, this is a joint gift to you from the Queen of England and the President of the Czech Republic. I ... I hope you like it.”

Although he had watched the tape several times, the relevant portion of the Queen’s address had been edited out. He didn’t know what Karla was talking about. When he opened it, looked at the pictures, and began to read the letters, his eyes became as wide as saucers.

“Mommy, look!” he exclaimed. “There are two letters, both addressed to me!”

Mary dropped to the floor where the frame was lying and carefully read the material. When the two had finished, she took Billy into her arms, held him tightly and said, “My darling, this confirms what we’ve both suspected. Your father was a hero. Your grandfather was an even greater one, helping to win the Battle of Britain and possibly saving Western Civilization in the process. And your mother! She may be the greatest heroine who ever lived. Darling, aren’t you so proud?”

While the two had been reading everything very carefully, Doug had again gone to the car and this time returned with his arms full of gaily-wrapped packages. When Billy just beamed with pride, Doug said, “Billy, these are some late-arriving Christmas presents. Karla and I hope you like them.”

Billy gasped with pleasure when he opened the first and found a precision scale model of a construction backhoe on which everything worked. As he started on the next gift, Karla indicated to Mary that she would like to be able to talk with her away from Billy. Mary understood instantly. After telling Billy they would be in the living room, they left him still opening his new toys.

When the three were seated in the living room, Karla asked, “Why did you adopt Billy?”

Instantly tears came to Mary’s eyes and Karla went to sit beside her on the sofa. Taking the woman into her arms was all it took; Mary just came apart. Although she had no control, she realized that it was the result of meeting Karla on top of having answered the same question for Billy just a few minutes earlier.

When Mary’s crying abated somewhat, Karla eased her away and then melted her lips to hers. The power of Karla’s kiss almost instantly rendered the woman unconscious. While she held the limp woman in her arms, Karla realized that Mary, too, had a lovely bodily fragrance. Finally, she could feel the woman regain consciousness, so she very gently released her.

“Who are you?” Mary asked, still in a state of shock. “Are you human? The power of your kiss is almost lethal. I could never imagine the power of love, goodness and Divine grace. You’re just loaded with it, aren’t you? There’s so much, it just pours out like water flowing over the spillway of a dam.”

“Don’t worry, Mary,” Doug said softly. “It hasn’t killed anybody ... yet!” With a grin he added, “When it does, I’ll be the first to go. I get it all day, every day.”

With that comment Mary smiled. It was the first easy smile they had seen since they arrived and it was truly lovely. She studied Doug carefully, then nodded her head firmly. “You might make it, Lord Whitfield...”

“The name is Doug,” he interrupted. “Of course Karla has a number of less-complimentary names...”

“You might make it, Doug,” Mary began again. “You’re ... what? About 230 or 240?”

“Down to 225,” Doug answered. “Of course, that was before the wedding. Now, I’m probably down to 190 or 195.”

“You poor thing!” Mary exclaimed sarcastically, but with a broad grin. “Are you suggesting that Karla is wearing you out?”

“I’m afraid so,” Doug admitted. “I was so dazzled by her beauty, I never realized...”

He shook his head and started again. “You see, she was a virgin when we met. How could I possibly have known that she was a virgin nymphomaniac?” He shook his head and added, “Of course, when I signed up for SAS, there was a combat life expectancy measured in milliseconds, so I guess it doesn’t matter too much, does it? I’m already on borrowed time.”

Mary didn’t respond. Instead, she addressed Karla’s original question. “Karla, you asked how we came to adopt Billy, and I guess I came apart.” Again tears started to flow from her eyes, but now she was maintaining control. “You see, Billy asked me the very same question just before you arrived. I guess it got to me.”

She paused and then continued, “I just waited too long. I was doing something important,” she said with a wry smile. “I was a lawyer! Now isn’t that just neat? Good Heavens! Now I know that the thing that makes women so different from men is that we can give birth. We can create new life! And I blew it utterly!”

“If you had it to do over, what would you do, Mary?” Karla asked quietly.

The woman’s face suddenly glowed. “I would have as many of the little things as God, in His infinite mercy, would allow me,” she replied. She paused for a moment and then said, “Do you want to hear something funny?”

“What’s that?” Karla asked.

“It was only a couple of months ago that Bill took the last of my virginity. And we’ve been married for over 25 years! Can you believe it?”

“You look normal, Mary,” Karla responded with a sly grin. “I would never have guessed you were a retard!” Then with a broad smile she added, “I’ve been married for only about one day, and I’ve already managed to dump all of mine.” Then she told the woman that Elizabeth had ordered her to be opened up end to end.

“Can I look?” Mary inquired innocently.

“I’m not there, yet,” Karla replied. “But when we get back from our honeymoon, I’m certain I will be.” Then she told Mary about their plans to spend three months alone and naked on a tropic island. She concluded by saying, “If we’re still alive at the end, we’ll be married forever!”

“But how did you find us?” Mary asked, returning to the earlier question Karla had not answered.

Rather than answering directly, Karla called out quietly, “Princess Susie, I need you.”

Instantly, Susie materialized. She was wearing tight Levi’s with a white sweatshirt. “Thank you, Queen Karla, for using my brand-new title.” She grinned and added, “But now there’s no end to the flak! I get it from everyone, but particularly from George VI and Sir Winston. Now what can I do for you?”

“First, I would like to make introductions. Princess Susie, may I present Mary Wallace. Although you certainly know her well, I don’t believe you’ve ever really met.” Then to Mary, she explained Susie’s background and concluded by saying, “Along with everything else, she’s Billy’s Guardian Angel.”