Chapter 2

Karla awakened slowly. As she did, she felt better than she could ever remember. Stretching, she could feel her body caressed by the crisp percale sheets. As memory returned, she moved her arms and legs and was amazed to find she wasn’t stiff and sore. Then she remembered the wonderful massage and the final kiss from Barbara after she had been tucked into bed.

Feeling guilty, she eased out of bed, quietly opened the door, and found the Sloans sound asleep in each other’s arms. They’re so incredibly neat, she thought. Silently she padded back to the servants’ quarters where her things were stored. Finding another uniform, she looked it over carefully, then got a sharp pair of scissors and began to work. When she finished, she returned to the sitting room and, while standing in front of the sleeping Sloans, loudly cleared her throat.

The sound was all that was needed to awaken the couple. Before even acknowledging her presence the two kissed softly and then passionately. Again, Karla could see the electricity flowing between them. Finally, Barb turned and said, “You were saying, Karla?”

Then she just gaped in amazement. The girl was standing before them wearing only the cuffs of a shirt on her wrists held together with cuff links and a starched wing collar around her neck with a black bow tie neatly tied around it. Barbara was speechless as was Steve when his attention was attracted to the girl.

With her eyes wide and guileless, Karla said, “I’ve noticed that you two are more comfortable without clothing than with it. And since you are honored guests of my government, and since I’m your servant, I concluded that it wouldn’t be appropriate for me to wear a uniform while you two wear nothing. On the other hand, if I were merely naked, how could anyone tell that I’m the servant? So anyway...”

At this the two Sloans began to giggle, then laugh, and finally were rolling around on the sofa holding each other while howling with laughter. Meanwhile Karla just stood in front of them feigning a puzzled look.

Finally regaining control, Barbara sat up straight and looked at the girl. “Karla, you are too damned much!” Then cocking her head, she raised an eyebrow and asked, “Are you teasing us, by any chance? And you a major in the Secret Police?”

“Me? Tease you?” She vigorously shook her head and said, “Of course not. After all, as you correctly pointed out, I am a major in the Secret Police, and — to say the very least — we’re not particularly noted for our sense of humor.”

“You really are getting with the program, aren’t you?” Barb asked. “Is it fair to say you’re more relaxed than you were when we arrived?” Then she added, “But that ... that outfit(?) is darling. And, Karla Kosta, if you were beautiful a few hours ago when we arrived, you’re utterly gorgeous now. What happened?”

“You happened, Barbara Sloan,” Susie replied as she materialized between them. “Look into her eyes. What do you see?” Barb did and saw a glow in them. When she asked, Susie replied, “What you are seeing, Barbara Sloan, is in very small measure what shines from yours. It is love, joy, and sanctifying grace.

“The Boss reviewed Karla’s record and he likes what he sees.” Then with a grimace she continued, “Oh, hell, I suppose I might as well tell you the rest: You see, Karla’s ambition is to become your body slave, Barb. She wants to be as much like you as it’s possible for her to be. And since she’s your height, about your weight and build, and works out like a demon, I think it’s going to work out, too. But what do you think?”

Instead of replying, Barb reached back to the wine bucket in which the Dom Pérignon still sat. Picking up the remaining glass, she poured champagne for Karla and refilled their own glasses. As she did, Susie whispered something in Karla’s ear and then vaporized. When she did, Karla’s eyes widened for an instant and she dropped to her knees in front of the coffee table separating them.

Barb passed a champagne flute to Karla and then raised her glass in a toast. “To Karla Kosta, one of God’s wonderful people, and our very first friend in the Czech Republic. We love you, Major Kosta.”

Karla knelt up straight while the Sloans drank Barbara’s toast. While they were sipping, she was looking deeply into Barb’s eyes. Then she said softly, “I really think you mean that, don’t you?” Then she raised her own glass and said, “To the Sloans: the most perfect, the most loving couple God in his wisdom has ever seen fit to put on earth!” Then she emptied the glass in a single long swallow.

After Barb had refilled the glasses, Karla refused an invitation to take a seat. “It wouldn’t be appropriate for a servant to sit with her masters.” Then, in an undertone that Barbara couldn’t quite hear she added, “And it would be particularly inappropriate for a slave to be seated.”

Barb was about to ask her to repeat her ending comment when there was a coded quiet knock at the door. It was two long-intervals knocks followed by two shorts followed by two longs. With a grin at Steve she said, “Well, the starving urchins have appeared at last.” To Karla she said, “These are the owners of Kendy Company. Will you get the door?”

Instantly Karla rose to her feet and padded to the door. As she was about to open it, she realized she was essentially stark naked. But instead of retreating as she would have only a few hours earlier, she straightened up with her shoulders back and pinched her nipples into throbbing erections. With a broad smile she opened the door.

Astonished, she was confronted by two children, both about twelve years old. The taller, a girl, was about five feet four. She had the most brilliant green eyes Karla had ever seen along with platinum blonde hair that was almost white. Accompanying her was a boy with golden blonde hair like hers and the most brilliant blue eyes she had ever seen. “Good afternoon,” she greeted them. “The master and mistress are in the sitting room. Will you come with me?”

To her utter astonishment, they greeted her in flawless Czech and followed her into the room where Barb and Steve had both risen to greet them. Still in Czech the girl greeted the Sloans and then exclaimed, “Oh, neat! This means Ken and I can be bare, too.” In just an instant she had shed her clothes which were sufficiently dirty they looked like she had been sleeping in them for days. Ken was doing the same thing.

“There’s a shower big enough for both of you off the master bedroom,” Barb said in equally flawless Czech. “And from the smell, you both can use it!” The two kids both grinned and scampered off, with Steve giving them a sendoff in flawless Czech as well.

“Wait a stinking minute!” Karla exclaimed in English. “You two can’t speak Czech.”

“Why not?” Barb asked with her eyes wide. “Is ... is it against the law... ? or something? I mean ... Golly! And you’re an officer in the Secret Police, too. Oh, dear...” Then she lost control and started to giggle. Soon her giggles were totally out of control and she ended up rolling on the sofa in uncontrolled laughter.

“You are cheats and frauds!” Karla protested, this time in Czech, while trying to control her own giggles. “I heard you at the airport, Steven Sloan. Your speech was grammatically correct but your pronunciation was simply awful. Everyone there applauded because you had taken the trouble to memorize a little speech in our native language. Even though you spoke atrociously, we gave you points for a good try. But you’re both frauds! You speak my native language better than I do, for Heaven’s sake!”

“Thank you, Karla Kosta,” Susie said as she materialized among them. “I told them that their pronunciation was perfect, but now you’ve confirmed it for them.” With a little grin she added, “One of the things the urchins learned years ago was that the way to really get along in a foreign country is to be able to speak the language like a native while acting like you don’t understand a single word. It’s remarkable what one can learn while sitting around a negotiating table with people who are convinced you don’t understand a single word they’re saying.” With that she disappeared as quickly as she had appeared.

Karla disappeared in the direction of the kitchen. A few minutes later the two kids appeared, still drying each other off. As she returned to the sitting room, the two towels had dropped to the floor while the couple were exchanging a kiss that was at least as loving and passionate as anything she had ever seen with the Sloans.

When they reluctantly separated, Barb was drumming her fingers on the coffee table. “Finished yet?” she asked acidly.

“For the moment,” Andy Cartwright replied languidly. Then she extended her hand to Karla and said, “How do you do? I’m Andrea Cartwright and I’m delighted to meet you. And this is my lover, fiancé, and uncle, Kenneth Clifford.”

“How do you do?” Karla replied. “I’m the Sloans’ servant, Karla Kosta.” She paused for a moment and then continued in a voice as if she were thinking out loud, “‘Andy’ is a common nickname for Andrea and Ken is an obvious shortening of Kenneth. That’s Kendy, isn’t it? Ken and Andy?” Then she shook her head and said, “But that’s impossible ... Wait! Of course! Clifford...” Her eyes widened as she looked at Ken and said softly, “William H. Clifford is possibly the wealthiest man in the world ... Are ... are you his son?”

Before Ken could reply, Barb interjected, “Bill Clifford is Ken’s father, but that’s not the point. There is not a dime of his money in Kendy. Of course the urchins borrowed a million apiece from Ken’s mother, who’s also Andy’s grandmother. But that was repaid about eight years ago. Kendy is all them.”

“But I thought Steve...”

“ ... is president and chief executive officer of Kendy Company,” Barbara finished. “He is. But Ken and Andy are co-chairmen of the board ... and the sole owners of the company.”

“That’s not true!” Andy protested instantly. “It almost took an act of God to get them to accept it, but Barb and Steve own 20 percent of it. Ken and I own 40 percent each.”

Then Andy spied the large platter that Karla had set down on the table. It was loaded with caviar with all the trimmings. “Yummy!” she exclaimed. “Caviar! We really get to pig out this afternoon.”

Karla disappeared for a moment, then returned with another bottle of Dom Pérignon and two more flutes. After expertly opening the bottle, she poured glasses for the two children and refilled theirs. When Barbara raised an eyebrow at her pouring champagne for Ken and Andy, Karla looked down her nose and said, “Unlike some benighted countries, the Czech Republic has no minimum age for drinking, particularly beer and wine.” Barb just grinned and winked.

Again Karla dropped to her knees and then raised her glass. “To Kendy Company. I hope and pray that you may make a great deal of money here in the Czech Republic, and in the process, create a great many new jobs.”

“I’ll certainly drink to that,” Ken Clifford replied.

The others all murmured agreement and they drank the toast. Then Karla expertly served the caviar while the foursome caught up on recent events and prospects in the country. When Andy rose to go to the kitchen, Barbara stopped her. “What have you been doing to your cunt, young lady?” she demanded.

Looking down at her loins Andy replied blithely, “I’ve been pulling out the hair that doesn’t fit.”

“Doesn’t fit? What, exactly, does that mean?”

“Well, it should be pretty obvious to you — and to Karla, for that matter. I don’t know how she can move. What happened? Has Susie been at work? Her loins look like someone’s been torturing her. Well, since my pussy hair is just starting to grow in, rather than waiting and then having to pull out most of it, I’m pulling out whatever I don’t want as it starts. Isn’t that an intelligent way to go?”

When she motioned to her, Andy moved closer and Barb cupped her hand over the girl’s cunt then eased a finger into her tight passage. As she expected, even though Andy was only twelve, it was soaked with her slippery juices. Andy’s eyes closed and she murmured, “It’s not as good as when Ken does it, Barb, but it really does feel great!”

“By the way, young lady, does your mother know what you’ve been doing?”

“I guess so,” was the reply.

While continuing to gently move her finger in the girl’s cunt Barb said to Karla, “Her mother is Connie Cartwright. Andy is going to be her twin sister soon. Because she’s also a platinum blonde, her husband, Chip, is always teasing her about blondes like her being very slow to warm up. So usually he plays with her until she threatens to get a knife, cut off his cock, and ram it in herself. She’s one of the most wonderful women you’ll ever meet. She’s also the one who announced that her mission in life is to make babies. Andy is her first.”

Looking up at the girl who was now writhing as she twisted her body on Barb’s impaling finger she added, “For a first effort, she really isn’t too bad, is she?” By this time Andy was up on her tiptoes as Barb had steadily increased her upward pressure. Then to Andy she said, “And by the way, what does ‘guess so’ mean?” While she was talking, Barb had taken Andy to the verge of cuming but, with exquisite sensitivity, maintained the girl on the edge without letting her have release.

“Please, Barb!” the girl screamed. “Finish me off! I know I’m about to cum, but you won’t let me.” Her eyes had been closed, but now they opened suddenly and she glared at Barb with green fire. “Bobbie Conroy lost her virginity to a girl’s fingernail, Barbara Sloan. I’m just going to drop my weight and lose mine on yours!”

“No you won’t,” Barb said casually. “My fingernails are neither sharp enough nor long enough. And I’m having fun, turkey, so shut up ... Except you still haven’t answered my question about what your mother said. And nothing’s going to change until you answer my question.”

“Please, Barb, I’m begging you. My lord, all my feeling is in my cunt. I can’t even remember what your question was!“ The girl was screaming now and feeling like a bug impaled on a needle.

Very quietly Barb replied, while still maintaining the poor girl on the brink of orgasm, “I asked what your mother said.”

“She didn’t say anything!” the poor girl screamed. “She just looked, put her hand over my cunt the way you did, and then shook her head. I’m not really sure what that meant, though. Now please finish me off!” she pleaded.

Instead, Barb suddenly removed her finger causing Andy to collapse on the floor. “Ken, why don’t you do it for your love? I’m sure she would appreciate it more, too.”

Dropping to the floor, Ken Clifford moved between Andy’s now-writhing body and dropped his face to her cunt. The instant he did, Andy raised her pelvis as much as she could. After putting her legs over his shoulders he began to eat her cunt. In just a moment the girl achieved orgasm with her pelvis now in spasm. As her juices began to flow in a flood, Ken licked as fast as he could and alternated by sucking and tonguing her clit. After a few minutes, he bit her clit and Andy passed out cold.

Finally raising his head he said, “I can’t imagine anything sweeter than Andy’s cunt. And I can’t wait until I can take her as my wife.” Then shaking his head he added, “But you know what? This virginity stuff is really for the birds!” With that he left his unconscious fiancée on the floor and went to the bathroom.

Moments later, Andy regained consciousness. Without a sign of embarrassment she rose from the floor where she had been lying sprawled out and stuck out her tongue at Barb as far as she could. But then she took the woman in her arms and melted her lips to hers in a loving kiss. When they separated while maintaining their hold on each other the girl said, “Barbara Sloan, I would really hate you if I didn’t love you so damned much.”

But then with the most winsome grin she added, “But because of your work, Ken got me off faster than he ever has before!” Then she shook her head and added, “I can’t wait for him to have a cock as big as Granddad’s. It’s going to be so great!”

Seeing the expression of shock on Karla’s face, Barb grinned and said, “Don’t worry about it. Aside from the fact that Andy’s grandparents are Ken’s parents, when they sleep over they always spend time with the relevant parents and help with their lovemaking. Her grandfather, Bill Clifford, looks like he’s about twenty-five, and her grandmother, Ali, looks even younger.

“In fact, when Ali takes the kids to a movie, two things happen: First, they comfort her and try to persuade her that it’s just a story when she cries at the sad parts.” With a warm smile she added, “They even had to take her out of the theater when Bambi’s mother died. Second, she couldn’t get a drink if her life depended on it; wearing jeans and with her hair in a ponytail, Ali looks like a well-developed fifteen-year-old.”

She paused for a moment and then continued, “And she’s exactly like Steve and me. Ali couldn’t live without Bill Clifford. They are just so marvelous together. And after all this time, they still act like they only got married yesterday and made love for the first time last night. Of course Ali Clifford’s beauty makes the rest of us look like refugees from some fraternity pig party. Her hair and eyes are like Ken’s, and she has a smile that could light up the whole Los Angeles Basin on its smoggiest day.”

Barb paused again, then continued. “Of course, she’s not perfect. Like a number of other members of the clan — including Andy and Ken, of course — she’s selfish.”

At that comment, Karla looked shocked and Andy looked hurt. Barb continued, “It’s true. She’s selfish. She refuses to allow anyone ever to do anything for her. It is only what she can do for you. And she’s the most selfless, thoughtful person I’ve ever met. Things just happen before you even think you might want it.” Then with the happiest smile either woman had ever seen, Barb concluded, “The best thing I can possibly say about myself is that I can count Allison Clifford as my friend. She is an inspiration to me and to everyone else who has ever met her.”

“Amen,” Andy said softly. “And just think! She’s my grandmother.” With that Andy sat down on the sofa beside Barbara and stretched out her long legs.

Karla had been watching and listening. She would not have believed what she had heard except now she thought she knew the Sloans well enough to know that Barbara was incapable of lying. And certainly Andy was an incredibly beautiful girl. As she stretched out, fully relaxed, Karla realized that the girl’s body was utterly perfect. With her golden tan, the hair on her head and the small patch above her slit were stunning and looked almost white. “Your body is perfect, Miss Cartwright,” she said. “And you are going to be even more beautiful than Mrs. Sloan, although honestly I don’t see how you could. Your tan is utterly glorious!”

By now Andy’s eyes were closed. Without opening them she responded, “I have to be tanned. If I were white, the hair on my head and on my pussy would just disappear. I would look like an albino, for heaven’s sake!” By now Ken had returned and Andy made room for him beside her. He took her in his arms and the two melted in a kiss. When they eased apart, Andy said, “Thank you, darling. That was the very best cunt-eating yet. I can’t wait for your cock to be as big as your dad’s so you can split me in two with it.” With that she got up from the sofa, stretched, and went toward the kitchen with Karla following.

“Can I get something for you, Miss Cartwright?” the girl asked.

Cocking her head, Andy looked thoughtful and then replied, “You can’t get me anything, but you could do something for me, if you would.”

“Anything. What is it?”

“Call me Andy, please. Miss Kosta, you have a son almost as old as I am. It’s not right for a mother to call a little twerp like me by anything beyond her first name.”

Karla agreed, and then watched in increasing surprise as the girl moved around the kitchen as if she had set it up herself. When she asked Andy about it the girl replied, “Oh, all the kitchens are set up this way, give or take a teaspoon or two.” When she looked in the refrigerator, she exclaimed, “Fantastic! We’re really going to eat tonight.” Turning to Karla she looked embarrassed and asked, “I apologize, Miss Kosta, for being so thoughtless. What would you like to eat this evening? And I hope you will forgive me for not asking you earlier.”

Karla just shook her head and said softly, “Barbara Sloan was absolutely right, wasn’t she? You’re always thinking of someone else.”

Then she straightened so her back was ramrod stiff and said, “However, Miss Cartwright, it may have escaped your notice, but I am the servant around here. You are the guest. Now what may I get for you?”

Instead of replying, Andy took the girl in her arms and peered deeply into her eyes. As she did, her eyes filled with tears and she spoke in an oddly disembodied voice, “You are a heroine of your country, Karla Kosta. I see you taking that dying man in your arms and losing your virginity so he could fulfil his dying wish. And he’s the father of your son, isn’t he? You conceived the very first time, didn’t you?”

Karla could only nod.

Andy then described several dangerous missions Karla had undertaken for the underground. “No one knows you were captured and then almost tortured to death, do they? But, despite being in agonizing pain you managed to escape over the razor wire, almost cutting off your hands in the process. May I see?”

Slowly Karla raised her hands with her palms open.

Andy took them and softly kissed the scars on each one. Then she looked into her eyes with her own eyes and voice back to normal and said, “You are indeed our guest, Miss Kosta. The thought of you as a servant is utterly ridiculous!”

“It’s going to be worse than that,” Karla responded softly. “Although I haven’t mentioned it, I am going to give myself to Mrs. Sloan as her body slave. But I think she suspects it, even if I really haven’t said anything.”

With her brow wrinkling, Andy asked, “But why on earth would you do a thing like that? It’s ridiculous ... and I guess it’s very painful, too.”

“Because God Himself told me that she is a perfect woman. I can’t possibly be like her, but as her body slave I will be physically close to her. And as you have seen — although I have no idea how — I can handle pain.”

Then Karla again held her head high and added, “My lady has been savagely beaten. I will beg her to beat me at least as hard. I want my blood to be flowing and then I want to hold her close to my body and feel the additional pain of her body on my open cuts. I want her to hold me tightly and rub her hands over the open cuts on my back. The whip will feel like white-hot wire cutting into my body. Although it’s been years, I still remember what it felt like when the Russians tortured me.

“I’m sure Mrs. Sloan is far better with a whip than any of them were, so it will hurt far more because she will whip the most sensitive parts of my body. And I will relish it, thank her for every stroke, and then kiss the whip and kiss her when it’s over. I’m sorry if it shocks you, Miss Cartwright — Andy — but it’s something I must do.”

Then she grinned and asked, “Now, about dinner? What were you thinking of serving?”

Andy Cartwright had been rummaging through the refrigerator and several times had made excited noises. Straightening up she announced, “We’re going to really feast tonight. I’m serving Chesapeake Bay oysters on the half-shell, followed by baked stuffed lobster.” Grinning at the Czech girl she added, “It will be a dinner that I doubt you’ve ever had.”

Moments later she was joined by Barbara and then by Steve. When Karla asked to help, Barbara Sloan looked thoughtful for a moment, then nodded to herself. “Thank you for your offer, Karla. And Andy and I accept. Please go out to the sitting room, retrieve the caviar platter, wine cooler, and champagne. Then you and Steve sit quietly at the table and stay out of our way!” She grinned and winked as Karla scampered off to the sitting room.

“She wants to be your slave, you know?” Andy said as soon as Karla left. “And you know what? She hasn’t known you for even a day yet, but I think she already loves you even more than I do ... And that’s really saying something!”

Andy’s statement confirmed Barb’s worst fears. She had been getting those signals, but had been ignoring them. “I’ve got to stop her—”

“You can’t,” Andy said quickly. “And please don’t even try. I know how hard it is for you to hurt anyone, but for some reason it’s become terribly important to this girl.” Then looking up she whispered, “Susie?”

“I’m right here,” the little sprite replied as she materialized right before Andy’s eyes, “and I know what you’re going to say.” Turning to Barb she said, “The Boss knows what’s going on. I will be here to ensure that no serious damage is done, okay? And please do as Andy suggests.” With that she disappeared.

Karla returned to the kitchen, smiled at Steve, and then proceeded to pour more champagne and prepare caviar canapés for him. He sagged down in his chair while being careful to keep his feet clear of Andy and Barb. To Barb he said, “Hon, could we keep her? Karla really knows how to take care of me.” Then to the Czech girl he said, “Of course I do have to lift up this glass all by myself...”

“As your wife’s body slave, sir, I will do anything for you that she asks.” With that she lifted the champagne flute and held it to Steve’s lips.

When she mentioned slavery, Steve’s eyes widened for an instant. But then he sipped the champagne and said, “Much better...” After a pause he added, “But I still have to swallow it myself.”

Karla kept glancing over at the two women hard at work. She marveled at how expertly Andy used a very sharp knife to shuck the oysters even though she couldn’t even see where the two parts of the oyster shell came together. Andy was preparing crab imperial to use as the stuffing for the five very large lobsters that she was about to cook. After shucking the oysters, Andy began to tear up romaine lettuce in preparation for a cæsar salad. After only a few minutes, the lobsters were steaming and everyone was invited to be seated at the table Barbara had set.

Karla was chagrined to learn that she was expected to dine at the table with them. “In fact,” Barb said, “you had better take off your maid’s uniform so no one gets the wrong idea.” In moments Karla was totally bare and sitting at Steve’s right hand. Andy was to his left, with Ken beside her. To Karla’s dismay, Barb insisted that she remain seated.

“Andy and I prepared it,” she remarked, “and we’re not going to share any of the credit now.” The table was lovely. There were fresh-cut flowers as a centerpiece flanked by two lighted candles. To round it out, the dinner was being served with a marvelous California Chardonnay. Barbara commented that the entire dinner, therefore, was made in U.S.A.

Then Barbara looked at Karla who was fearfully contemplating a raw oyster and laughed. When the others heard her laughter, they looked, too, and began to laugh, as well. “Karla, the expression on your face is utterly priceless!” she teased. “You’ve never eaten a raw oyster in your life before, have you?” Karla had been poking at the bivalve with an expression of distaste. “It won’t bite, honest.”

The Czech girl swallowed hard and then ate the oyster. Previously she had applied Tabasco sauce and cocktail sauce following the lead of the others at the table. Then her face lighted up and she said in a tone of great surprise, “It’s really good!” Then looking thoughtful she added, “I wonder who was the first brave soul who thought to eat one of these things?” The others laughed at her quip.

While Barbara finished the lobster, Andy tossed the cæsar salad at the table. When it was served, Karla ate with relish. “This is the finest food I’ve ever eaten in my entire life. Barbara, when did you learn to cook? Did you start when you were four years old?”

“What a joke!” Steve responded. “Karla Kosta, less than one year ago, Barbara Sloan, nee Jensen, couldn’t even boil water.” When Karla raised an eyebrow in skepticism, Steve said, “Ask her.”

“He’s absolutely right,” Barb said. “But fortunately I was enslaved to Susan Collins who’s one of the finest cooks in the world. And with the assistance of a well-handled whip, I learned quickly if I do say so myself.” Karla only shook her head, but she found that she did believe what had been said.

“By the way,” Ken Clifford said, “Mom and Dad asked me to tell you that there are a few extra dollars in your checking account. They thought you might want to invest some of it or something.”

“‘A few extra’?” Barb responded. “Tell me, dear Kenneth, how many is a few?”

“One-hundred million,” he replied very softly.

“What!” Barb screamed. “What is going on here?”

“Oh ... nothing,” the boy replied vaguely. Then he brightened and added, “Of course, Bobbie Conroy thinks it’s a neat idea, and so does my sister—”

“Which one?” Barb asked. Then to Karla she explained, “This is the most extended damned family you’ll ever encounter. When Ken says ‘my sister,’ he could be describing half the female population of the United States!”