Chapter 3

Libby was determined. She knew John would attract others, his lankiness with the underlying and understated power of his physique and his confident aloofness would draw college coeds like a flame draws moths. She knew he was leaving for school in just a couple of weeks and she knew she adored him. That still surprised her, not only that she had these feelings for John but the depth of feeling was something she never expected. He had three more days to work before he was done and then he would leave. He had a couple of weeks to get things in order and then, just like that he would be gone. She was working on following him, just hadn't put everything together yet. Hadn't even told him what she was trying to do. The application had been sent off, she'd actually read the lease that she'd signed to see what she could do to get out of it. She briefly looked around remembering the times she'd had in the past couple of months.

She looked at the entrance to the kitchen and remembered walking up behind John, sliding her hands around his body to feel his hardness, and smiled at her recollection of his embarrassment. As much as he wanted to he didn't want to jump into things, didn't want to risk their relationship. She saw his initial reaction to her caresses as endearing. She thought about watching him eat his breakfast and the reaction her body had to that innocent action. The fact that she ended up on the floor of the shower stall with her fingers buried in herself as she thought of him, how wanton she'd felt, but how wonderfully free at the same time.

She felt an overpowering flow of the warm sensation she always had when John was with her. She knew she'd miss this place, the beginning of their relationship, the awakening realization that she loved John, the last-forever type of love, and it was slowly eroding with an overwhelming sense of dread. What if he found someone at school before she could get there. How could she make sure he'd remember her, that he'd stay in love with her, that he'd still want her, yes, to the exclusion of everyone else. Her fear was a living breathing thing, an animal that grew each day, threatening to overtake her.

She recalled their conversation when John came to her apartment all flustered. His workmate had met a couple of women, had talked John into going to lunch with them and left John in the clutches of one of them, while this guy had fucked the other in the backseat of her car and John watched. She smiled as she thought of John's recanting of the story, how he had felt bad about getting excited, how he had gotten hard while he watched this guy named Doug fuck the girl. Then she thought about their conversation afterwards.

She had suggested they try new things. Had suggested they watch movies together, perhaps go to an adult theater together. She looked back on the weeks between then and now. They hadn't tried anything new. She loved John, loved making love to John, loved having him in her. It was everything she'd ever dreamed of and she was perfectly content, but it was her suggestion and she'd done nothing about it. Now she only had a couple of weeks, and she knew he'd be busy during that time.

Her experience was entirely limited to her experiences with John. She had absolutely nothing to draw on, no experiences, no other partners, nothing. She wondered what to do, where to find ideas. She knew John's experiences were limited to her as well, and his shyness kept him from suggesting things. She knew he'd get over that with time.

As the excellent student she'd always been she decided then and there to do some investigation, just as if she was working on a project for school. She went to the local library to look up books on the subject, but found that difficult because of the subject matter and her reticence to ask the librarian for help. She flushed with embarrassment when she recalled finding a reference on the reference computer and forgetting to clear her trail before she walked away, but chuckled at the thought of some housefrau finding it on the screen when she started a research project for little Sammy's next book of the week. Everything she found at the library was circa 1950 and was useless, suggesting that she meet her husband at the door in short skirts, almost to the knee for crying out loud. She laughed out loud at that memory.

She finally found an adult place just outside of town, one of those seedy places with the neon signs, big bold red letters blinking erratically "adult" and recalled the nervousness she felt when she got out of the car and walked in. Her eyes had widened at the selection of dicks on the wall, the beautiful women in all stages of undress on the boxes of videos, the variations of magazines that she thumbed through. She had settled on several magazines as a start.

Now she sat on her couch, reading experience letters. It was all in the name of research. John would be away for the rest of the day and wouldn't get home until late. Several of the guys wanted to take him out as a farewell happy hour. John told her he didn't want to go but felt like he had to, so she felt certain she had some time to learn and enough time to hide her "research."

She thumbed through the magazine, reading the titles of experience letters. They seemed so funny, "Neighbors' slip gives eyeful" "He backed up and it was anal bliss" among others. She found a letter about a couple that went to an adult theater but as she was reading she was appalled at the actions of the woman in the story. Not the wantonness that the woman showed, that she found sexy when she put it in the light of experiencing it with John, but letting perfect strangers touch you... well ok that might be kind of sexy but frightening. Letting a complete stranger fuck you, well... she thought, "I could never do that!" and she went on to the next story. She read about many variations of sex, bondage, anal, exhibitionism, BSDM, and just straight fucking in more variations and in more different numbers of people than one could shake a dick at. She laughed at her pun.

As she was reading, laying back on the couch she found that she was holding her breast in almost a protective, cupping manner. Her nipple had become hard in her hand and she found that she was lightly rubbing it, feeling the warmth of tingles betray her intended distance from what she was reading. Her eyes closed as her hand slid under her T-shirt to fondle her breast directly. She opened her eyes to re-familiarize herself with the story she was reading, wanting to determine what got her started and then realized it wasn't the story at all. Deep in the dark recesses of her mind she was thinking about the story of the movie theater. She knew she'd never let anyone but John touch her but it would be fun to experience, not the way outlined in the story but her experience, their experience.

She thought the darkness, the musty smells, the raw sex would be enticing, perhaps exciting to John as well. She could actually smell the smells as her hand slid down her flat stomach, under the waistband of her shorts, through the sparse hair to focus on her clit. She was surprised at how wet she was as her finger slid between her lips, delving into the satiny liquid, dragging it slowly up over her clit. She realized that she really wanted to cum, hard and now. No lingering build up, just rub her clit fast and hard, her head went back and her body tensed. Her breasts shook with the shudders of release, her knees spreading as far as they could, her ass lifting off the surface of the couch in her almost instant orgasm.

Her fingers lingered as her breathing slowly returned to normal. She wished John was here so she could try some of the techniques she had learned, so she could show him some of the new things she'd learned, so she could show him that she loved him and would do anything to keep him.

When she woke it was dark, the apartment quiet. She felt a blanket over her body although she didn't remember pulling one over herself before she drifted off to sleep. She rose and glided softly across the silent and dark room, her footsteps nothing other than the soft whoosh the carpet made as it crushed under her feet. She turned the corner to the kitchen and felt a pang of angst as she saw the clock and it read 3:45 AM. She wondered where John was, he promised to come over after the guys dropped him off.

She returned to the living room to once again settle on the couch, hitting 'power' on the remote, the TV fired up. It was louder than she remembered, probably only in comparison to the silence of the room. She felt cold and afraid and the loneliness made her think of the coming departure of John. She couldn't stand the thought of him going away, where this emptiness was the norm instead of the exception. She physically jumped as she felt John's hands touch her shoulders.

"Oh shit! John you scared me! Why didn't you wake me up when you got here?"

"You looked so peaceful so I pulled a blanket over you, kissed your cheek and went to bed. I have to work in a couple of hours."

"When'd you get here?"

"Around midnight"

Libby leaned back and pulled John's arms down pulling his face to hers in an upside down kiss. Her heart fluttered as she felt his lips contact hers and realized another flutter as she felt his hands gently rubbing her stomach, sliding up to her breasts as he pulled back.

"Did you have fun?"

"It was ok... Same old thing these guys always do I guess, went to a couple of bars and drank. I watched the band mostly. It was too loud to hear yourself think much less have a conversation. I'd 've rather been here."

John pulled back from Libby, as he straightened up Libby felt an instant pang of loneliness.

"John, I love you" she almost whispered.

John walked around and knelt on the floor in front of her, putting his head on her lap. "I love you too sweets." Libby ran her fingers through John's hair gently, caressing his skull, not in a sexual way but in a sensual way. Her touch alone was enough to waken John's cock and send goose bumps up his arms.

"Libby..." a moment of silence as Libby listened to John breathe. "I'm afraid... I mean maybe... I don't want to go to school. I don't want to leave you."

At once Libby felt her heart breaking and intense joy. The dichotomy of emotions was almost too much for her and she fought back a sob, tears stinging her eyes, beginning to run down her cheeks. John continued to amaze her, the depth of the emotion in that simple statement was more than John ever expressed, to anyone. Telling her that he was afraid was letting down his guard and John never let his guard down.

"John, lets talk about it in the morning, when I can see you. Now lets go to bed." And she stood up, pulling his hands, helping him to stand. She slid her hands under his arms and over his shoulders from behind, her head resting comfortably against his chest. "Its going to be ok baby... I love you too..." in the softest tone. He would have missed it if it hadn't been that silent in the room, lit only by the now muted and silent TV. The blue light flickering as the unwatched scenes on the TV changed, Libby looked up and watched the softening of John's expression.

He lay on the bed and rolled over on his side, his back to Libby. They always slept like that. Libby's arm over him, clutched in John's hand, her warmth a wave from behind, touching all of him at once. His heart was racing as he thought of all the horror stories of what could happen when he left. His fear was real, an overwhelming sense of dread, growing and slowly consuming him. He wondered why it bothered him so. He lived all his life without Libby and had only spent the last couple of months with her. But he knew how special the time that they'd spent was, how difficult it would be to ever get that again.

"John... I don't want you to leave either. I want to sleep with you like this every night... for ever."

As John rolled over to take Libby in his arms he discovered she was naked. His hands slid over her incredibly soft skin, feeling the toned muscles underneath, long smooth muscles in her back flaring out at her hips. He put his head down and kissed her shoulder as her hands held the back of his head.

He sat up suddenly and ripped at his shirt, getting caught in the arm in his haste to get it off. She laughed quietly as he struggled.

"I want to feel you. I want to feel all of you pressed against me."

"Don't you want to sleep sweetheart?"

"No" John said in a gruff reply as his lips traveled lower on her body. He captured her soft nipple between his lips, suckling gently. "I want you to feel me, I want... to make you feel good... Libby, I want to make love to you."

John's hand slid down to Libby's hip, sliding in that awkward my-wrist-won't-turn-that-way manner his fingertips just able to touch her mound. Libby loved the tingle she felt as he reached for her, enjoyed the struggle he went through, the desire he showed as he reached for her.

He wanted to touch her, to caress her, to feel her wetness but at the same time the thought of pulling his chest away from her, to lose the feeling of her hardening nipples against his bare chest was almost unthinkable. His wrist turned again trying to find the right angle and his fingers slipped between her lips to feel her moisture gathering at the concept of his impending entry. Her quiet moan, as his fingers slid over her clit to part her pink, soft lips, drawing out the moisture, was cut off as his open mouth met hers. The depth of love passed in that kiss reassuring both of them that the future would work out, convincing both of them to put their fear aside for the moment.

Her hand turned, palm out as she grasped his hardened cock, her fingers caressing the soft skin with the steeliness underneath. Her hand traveling his length causing a groan that matched hers, as his fingers sought out her special spot, that fleshy nub inside, just inside the entrance, that sent sparks of pleasure in a radiating circle to slowly consume her senses. Her attention was distracted as his body slid from hers to take her nipple once again into his mouth, the warmth of his suckling combined with the sharp pleasure of his tongue flicking the tip made her arch her back, pressing her breast against his mouth, forcing her nipple just a fraction deeper, the contact of his tongue just a fraction more intense.

John leaned back and Libby wondered what he was doing as she heard the tinkling of ice in a glass. She jumped as she felt the first contact of the ice cube on her other breast and grunted again as John switched breasts, the difference between the cold of the ice cube and the warmth of his mouth was startling. Her nipple hardened more than she had ever experienced before, harder than she thought possible, the pleasure from the dichotomy of sensations sent her senses racing towards her peak, John's relentless attack with his fingers sending the impetus of sensation spiraling out of control.

Libby's head went back, her breasts thrust out as she felt her orgasm building, her legs falling aside, spread as wide as she could manage, giving him unfettered access to her core. As she felt herself fall over the precipice of impending joy she screamed at the flash of intensity as the melting ice cube contacted her clit. Her world dissolved as the orgasm took control of her body, manifested in a series of involuntary shudders, grunts and groans.

John leaned back and watched as Libby came. He watched her stomach flutter, her legs twitch, her eyes flicker. He leaned over and kissed her cheek knowing that it didn't register, that Libby was off in a world he helped to cause but couldn't share. He reveled in the image as she lost control, her body reacting on pure instinct, her faith in him caused a warmth to flow through him. He knew it was love, the last forever, forsake all others, kind of love. He wanted to be closer to her although no space separated their bodies, he wanted to hold her, to absorb her, to be a part of her.

As her body shook with the after tremors of an orgasm that surprised her in its intensity he pushed his arm under her head, and pulled her to him, her head resting on his chest, her settling breath interspersed with sharp bursts as the aftershocks of pleasure shook her body.

This isn't the way she wanted things to go. She wanted to give him pleasure at a level that he would never forget, promises of better things to come and he had made her lose control. She was struggling to regain her composure, she wanted to treat him, to watch him feel pleasure at the level she had just experienced. But she couldn't erase the depth of pleasure she had just felt. Like cocaine, the sensation made her feel like a new woman, and like cocaine, the first thing the new woman wanted was more. Her fingers trailed between her legs, gathering her moisture, spreading it over her clit starting in subtle circles.

"I love to watch you Libby, I love watching you cum."

"ohh John... that was... that was just incredible..."

She could hear the smile in his voice as he said "you want to cum again don't you?"

She wanted him in her, she wanted to give him pleasure but her body was out of control in its quest to feel those sensations one more time. "yes... yes John... I want to cum..."

The mix of emotions almost made John grunt, the combination of love and intense sensuality. He knew Libby could only lose control like this if she trusted him, if she knew how much he loved her, how much he cared. His cock was hard as steel, tingled with every beat of his heart and he knew it would take almost no stimulation at all to set him off but his attention was focused on Libby.

He saw in his minds eye the spread petals of her sex, the tapered fingers tracing rapid circles around her clit. He saw her hardened nipples thrust out proudly from her breasts as he listened to her labored breathing. He felt her cross the plain from cognizant to lost once again as her body started to convulse and racked his brain to think of how to increase her pleasure. His fingers once again penetrated her, focusing on her G spot as her pussy walls contracted around him.

He felt her walls implode on themselves, the burst of moisture from her super saturated pussy as they almost pushed his fingers out.

"Oh my GOD! Oh oh... John... Oh John..."

Her moans were almost unintelligible as her body continued to quiver.

"Push down Libby, Push... let it control you... Let it go Baby..."

"Oh! John!!!" Her eyes opened with an almost panicked look in them. "I'm going to pee..."

John laughed out loud inspite of himself, he'd heard that was the sensation right before a G spot orgasm, he knew she wouldn't.

"Let it go Libby, let it control you... Let your pussy take over, trust me..."

At that her eyes rolled, her head stretched back, the tendons in her neck taut cords, every muscle in her body vibrating as the sensation of peeing dissipated and an intense pleasure, at a level she'd never before experienced took over. Her sense of time dissolved, it felt like hours and moments simultaneously, as her body was racked in spasms of pleasure. She felt the burst of moisture as it hit her legs, dispersed by John's fingers still beating a tattoo on her G spot and the sensation was somehow heightened as she felt she was having an out of body experience.

Her mind showed her a picture of her hands suspended in front of her body, fingers clutching at the air, every muscle twitching and she felt the warm flow of her love, inundating her body. Finally when her muscles could no longer take the intense tightening, and her lungs screamed for oxygen she pushed John's hand away from her.

"Oh god John... oh no... please let me stop... it's... it's too much..."

John held her as she regained her grip on the here and now. Her breathing so deep she was hyperventilating, feeling the slight dizziness as her body slowed down, relaxing to a level that threatened to put her to sleep instantly. Deep in the recesses of her mind the challenge had been increased, the bar raised, she had to give John an experience that equaled that which she just lived through. But... she just didn't have it in her right now.

She rolled on her back, her legs spread as if of their own volition. "John, fuck me... please fuck me..."

John was cementing the images of the past few minutes in his mind. It was an image he would never forget, the total and unequaled pinnacle of pleasure. The absolute expression of trust and love. He wanted to watch Libby cum that hard again and again and again. The fact that Libby trusted him that deeply, that emotionally, enough to completely lose control told him the depth of her love more than anything she could do to him to cause him pleasure.

But he was hard. Harder than he had ever been before and although the past few moments had been emotion filled they were also the single hottest fucking thing he'd ever witnessed. He tried thinking of baseball, Cal Ripken, arguably the most sexless guy he could think of, perhaps surpassed only by some of the guys at work, but the level of anticipation surpassed his best efforts. As he sliced into Libby, sinking through her well lubricated folds he exploded, his body poured through his cock, its expansion as he shot his white hot cum deep into Libby set off a series of minor orgasms that coursed through Libby with the subtly of warm tea sipped on a cold day.

"Libby... I'm sorry... I couldn't, I just couldn't hold it back..." He hid his face in her shoulder, embarrassed that he lasted all of 1.3 seconds, didn't even get to the full depth of the very first thrust before he came.

"John! Believe me sweetheart, you have absolutely nothing to apologize for. That was the most incredible feeling I've ever had... How did you... well, how did you figure that out! Where'd you learn that from?"

"I read it..."

"In a book? A magazine?"

"No a web page on the internet I used to read all the time. It was in a story."

She laughed, "you'll have to show it to me one day."

"I thought I just did!"

"The web page you creep!" and she laughed with the realization that he was teasing her, purposely misinterpreting her.

He laughed and with the peace of having shared the moment they drifted off, he wasn't bothered, actually didn't even notice that he slept in the wet spot, and the trail of their mixed juices that trickled down her leg running from his deflating cock brought a mental smile as a badge of honor, and a reminder of the pleasure they'd just shared.

John was already gone when she woke. She looked at the clock and looked at the window as if for confirmation of the late hour. 9:00, John had left three hours ago. He must be exhausted. She was determined to treat him like a king today, to show him how wonderful what they had was. She got up for a quick shower and then went to the grocery store, the lingerie store and went again for a trip to the "Adult" store. Her embarrassment over shadowed by her desire to show John new things. She walked out coveting a brown paper bag of "things" they could discover together.

Dinner was made on the table when John walked in the door. "Hey babe! Man you've been busy today, what's this?" Libby was unprepared for John's sudden arrival and the shock she felt when he walked in showed in her reddening face.

"I umm... I thought you'd like a nice dinner... I mean... I wanted to do something for you..."

"You do something for me every time I see you Libby..." and they both laughed at the bad pun. She finished settling the table as John took a quick shower, she took off her apron and sat down at the table. She was nervous as she thought of the things they would discover tonight, and the things they must discuss first. The toys she bought, the thoughts she'd been having all day. What if he didn't like them, what if he didn't want to play tonight. She felt like she was risking everything, to keep what she had. But she had to take one chance first...

As John showered he thought of his upcoming departure. He never wanted to leave this, coming home to Libby everyday. She'd even made him dinner and his face split into a wide grin as he felt the emotion again. Every time he thought of Libby he felt that emotion, only recently, it had been turning to dread. He didn't want to... couldn't bring himself to... hated to even think of the words... leave her. What was he going to do? He knew he couldn't live his life working concrete, couldn't live forever in this rundown little apartment. He had to go off to school, but he couldn't bear the thought of going without her.

Soccer shorts and a T shirt was his uniform around the house. As he walked into the kitchen Libby hugged him, holding him tightly, her body molding itself to his. She tilted her head back and John kissed her, first briefly, just a touch of the lips as he looked into her eyes. Their lips touched again, and again, and they dissolved into a deep kiss. Tongues intertwined, she suckled on his bottom lip, his arms wrapped around her seemingly impossibly thin shoulders. She felt his stirring member as it began to harden against her belly, and she rubbed herself against it, reveling in the lewdness.

When she pulled back they were both out of breath. She laughed and said "sit down and eat before I waste all this work and push it on the floor so you can ravish me on the table."

"Sounds fun! But I'm hungry" and he laughed again as she punched him in the arm.

"Hey, I don't have to work tomorrow, they're starting a new job on Monday and said they didn't need me if I wasn't going to be there for the job, so I guess I'm unemployed now... a student..." He made the word 'student' sound like the grotesque description of a disease.

She lit a candle and dimmed the kitchen light and sat at the table across from him.

"John, I wanted to... umm talk to you about some things..."

The uncertainty in her voice made John hesitate, a fork suspended between his plate and his mouth he looked at her. The fear that had been at bay since the night before returned with a vengeance. Growing with each beat of a rapidly beating heart.

"umm, ok..." he set his fork down giving her his undivided attention.

"John, can I come with you to Arizona? I mean, I'll apply and go to school, I may be a bit behind you but..." her head dropped and she finished the sentence while looking out between her bangs, her face hidden in shyness, in fear of rebuke. "Can I come with you?"

John was stunned. He wanted to ask her to come with him but was so afraid she wouldn't want to he couldn't ask. His emotions ran the full range from outright despair to exquisite joy. "You mean you really want to come? What about this? I mean the apartment, what about your folks, shit what about my folks?"

"We'll work through that, my parents will understand, they know... I mean they know that I love you. They're happy for me, my Dad told me I look different, happier, complete. He'll be ok with it. We'll have to work on your parents."

"But, what about your apartment and the lease? Can you get out of it at this late date... we only have a week or two before I leave."

"I read the lease and I can sublet it, I won't get my security deposit back until the sub-lease ends, but I can get the person that leases it to give me some kind of deposit. That should help when we get there. Please John... we can work all this stuff out, can I please come with you? I promise I'll make it worth your while... I promise."

John smiled at the twinkle in her eye on the last one and she breathed a sigh of relief as she realized he was thinking through it, how to do it... putting together one of his plans that always seemed to work. He ate absently as he thought. He put the fork down, finished chewing, took a sip of his drink to wash it down. He could feel the fear that had been building all summer ebb away, the last tendrils releasing his concerns, washing away like a bad tide.

"Libby, do you think we can pull this off? I'm almost afraid to hope..."

"I have something else... as long as we're committed, I uhh... I went to the store today..."

"I know, the food is great!"

"I'm not talking about food John... you know when we talked, about umm... about us... and new stuff?" Her face reddened and again she dropped her eyes to the table, absently moving her food around her plate. "I mean we talked about trying new stuff, you know... in the umm bedroom?"

John smiled at her embarrassment and dropped his eyes in embarrassment too. "Yeah, I remember, we were going to umm watch some movies or something..."

"Well, I went to a special store... an adult store..."

"No way really? What'd ya buy?" His boyish exuberance reflected on his face through shit eating grin and wide eyes.

"... bought some umm... toys... for you and for me..."

"No shit!"

"And a movie... I don't know if it's any good, I didn't know what to pick but, I thought we could play with them some... perhaps watch one or something..." Her voice trailed off in a new wave of uncertainty.

"That sounds awesome Libby..." his thoughts ranged back to the previous night. To Libby's uncontrolled release, how much pleasure he'd gotten from that. The opportunity to play with her body, to watch it react, to learn how to make it feel better was one he never thought he'd have. He felt the stirring start just at the thought. He was all grins as he finished his meal.