Chapter 5

Holly awoke the next morning.

Holly stretched and moaned. Her entire body was suffused with a deep sense of satiation and also surprisingly sore.

John walked into the bedroom, carrying a tray with a coffee carafe and cups.

"You wounded me last night," Holly said.

John smiled.

"I did no such thing," he said, setting down the tray on the dresser.

"Do you take cream and sugar?" John asked.

"Yes, two teaspoons and lots of milk," Holly said. God, he was serving her coffee in bed.

Holly began to sit up and moaned again.

"I really think you did hurt me," she said. "Every muscle is tight."

John smiled at her as he brought Holly her cup of coffee. He took a lap tray from beside the bed and set it up for her, putting the coffee down without spilling a drop.

"That's what happens when you play on a rack," John told her with a wink. "How's everything else feel?"

Holly moaned sensually.

"Everything else feels wonderful," Holly said.

John leaned over her and kissed her, gently, sensually and thoroughly.

Then he sat up and smiled at Holly.

"I knew you would be sore this morning," John told her. "That's why you're getting a massage before work."

Holly looked at him, not quite believing his words.

"A massage?"

John nodded.

"David will be here at ten," John said. "He's great. You'll feel fine for work today."

John smiled, bending over Holly and kissing her, gently yet firmly. She opened her mouth and they kissed for a while, just a lovely, pleasurable kiss.

"Last night was wonderful," John told her. "Thank you."

Holly smiled at John. It seemed to her she should be the one thanking him.

"So, what is all this about a club?" Holly asked.

"Later, over breakfast," John told her with a wink.

Holly and John sat together in the hospital cafeteria. Holly was just so relaxed. Her massage had been wonderful. Though the thought had occurred to her, the session had nothing to do with sex.

It was, however, one of the most sensual experiences she'd ever had. And her muscles had felt wonderful afterwards.

Holly looked around the crowded cafeteria. She often ate here, but never with John.

Holly swallowed a mouthful of hash browns, and looked over at John.

"Well? What about this club?"

John leaned over to her. They were sitting side by side at a booth, so he was able to nuzzle her neck.

"John, don't. People will talk."

"Holly, I'm dating you. It can't be kept a secret long."

"Is that ethical?"

John smiled and shook his head.

"Technically, no. Does it happen? All the time. You just can't expect special treatment just because you're my girlfriend."

Holly nodded. She couldn't imagine John giving her a break, or making allowances for sloppy work.

In fact, she liked working under him because he expected excellence, and would accept nothing less.

"What about this club?" Holly asked. They were seated in a corner, so no one could overhear their conversation.

"It's a group of like-minded people," John told her. "Small, kind of elite."

"Does it cost?"

John nodded.

"Ten thousand dollars a year," he told her.

"Ouch!" she said. "Do you at least get a magazine or something?"

John laughed delightedly.

"No, no magazine," he told her, "but I'll have to mention that to my brother."

"Is he a member?" Holly asked curiously.

"He's the founder. It's called the Society."

"The Society?" Holly repeated. "Sounds kind of innocuous."

"It's supposed to. It's a sex club, but with very strict rules."

"What happens if you break them?" Holly asked. This was getting interesting.

John looked at her, his grey eyes cold.

"I don't think you want to know, Holly," he said.

She could feel her body responding. Damn it! These scary, dark things, and she couldn't get enough of it.

"So, how do you join this club?"

"It's by invitation only," John told her. "I'm inviting you."

"What's involved?" Holly asked, fascinated.

"Holly, where are you going to get ten thousand dollars?" The Voice suddenly woke up and broke into Holly's growing fascination. "And for what? To be used and abused, like this man is doing? Yeah, you got a massage, but only after he got what he wanted. You debased yourself, you urinated your pants, for God's sake, just because you wanted to! Now you are thinking of spending the money you've been trying to save for a car to join what? A Fuck Club?"

She shook her head, wishing The Voice would just shut up and let her think.

"It's kind of complex," John said. "I can tell this bothers you a bit. Would you like to wait?"

Holly shook her head again.

"No, I'm interested. It's just I have these doubts..."

"Holly, it's your choice," John said quietly. "That's the one rule of the Club, above all others: It's always your choice."

Holly smiled and nodded.

"That's the part I seem to like."

Then she thought of what she told John yesterday, that sometimes she didn't want Mercy, not with him, and Holly shrugged.

"At least," she added, "most of the time."

This time John smiled.

"That's understandable. And there's ways to do that."

John looked at Holly and a rush of arousal whirled in her groin.

Holly was fascinated at the thought of no Mercy, of being this man's servant, his slave, at his disposal.

It was too sexy to imagine.

"But as far as the Society is concerned," John went on, breaking into Holly's erotic imaginings, "if you decide you are really interested I can give my brother a call. He has to interview you before we go any further."

Holly felt a wave of discomfort.

"Interview?" she asked.

John chuckled.

"Just a conversation, nothing more. He likes to get to know everyone who wants to join. It's very exclusive, and he has the final authority."

Holly frowned. This sounded a bit scary. She wasn't comfortable meeting with some stranger to see if she "fit in" to some strange club's standards.

"I don't know," Holly told John uncertainly.

"I can be there, if you'd like. That's allowed by the rules."

"I'm not under any obligation?" Holly asked.

"Of course not. It's just a simple interview. You can ask Marnie about it if you like."

Damn him! Bringing up the woman he knew had become a major fantasy for her, the only woman she had ever made love to like that, like some kind of incentive to join, to get her to go along.

"Marnie's a member of the club?"

John looked at her, his face unreadable.

"I'm not supposed to tell you who is or is not a member," he said evenly. He moved closer to Holly.

"But yes," John told her, "Marnie is a member."

Holly nodded. This was all so interesting. Yet, in a very fundamental way, it unnerved her. She shook her head.

"Well, I'll talk to your brother and then I'll think about it."

John nodded and smiled.

The next few days Holly had no time to think about anything. She pulled a twenty-four hour shift and two eighteens at the Hospital and was really dragging.

Holly walked into the Nurse's lounge, looking for coffee, and Marnie smiled up at her.

"Hello, Doctor Jackson," she said.

"Hi, Marnie," Holly said. "Is there any coffee in here?"

"Yeah," Marnie said, "but it's old. Sit down a minute and I'll brew a fresh pot."

Holly sat down, glad to get off her feet for a few minutes.

"I have something I need to ask you when you have the time," Holly said to Marnie.

Marnie nodded, putting the coffee on to brew. Then Marnie walked over and closed the lounge door. She sat down across from Holly and looked at her.

"I've got a few minutes," Marnie told her quietly.

"John said something about a club. He said I could ask you about it."

Marnie smiled and relaxed. Marnie was so professional, she realized. In fact, Marnie had never given Holly a hint that the other night had even happened.

But now she smiled at Holly and Holly felt memories from that night wash over her, kissing Marnie, Marnie's mouth on her pussy and Holly doing the same for Marnie.

Marnie grinned.

"The other night was wonderful," Marnie said. "Thank you."

Holly shrugged.

"I feel I should thank you. That was a fantasy come true."

Marnie nodded.

"I had fun too. That's the thing about the Society. It's for everyone's pleasure."

"How long have you been a member?" Holly asked.

"Almost ten years," Marnie told her. "I joined when I was eighteen."

"How did you find out about it?" Holly asked her. Holly felt like she was in some kind of strange movie, since conversations like this just don't happen in real life.

"My boyfriend at the time," Marnie told her. "He was wonderful. He paid for me to join."

"I'm sorry," Holly said, "I don't mean to pry, but would you mind telling me why you joined?"

Marnie smiled softly.

"No, I don't mind telling you at all. I'm very masochistic. I found my boyfriend because he understood me: he would hurt me in all the ways I wanted him to. I'd gone through a series of terrible relationships with abusive men, looking for what I wanted without really knowing just what it was. Then I found Robert."

She shook her head, her eyes distant as she remembered.

"Robert saw what I was, and was attracted. He took me and helped me learn about myself, before I ended up in a hospital, or dead. He introduced me to the Society, and I loved it."

Holly nodded.

"So you were comfortable there?"

"Oh, yes," Marnie told her. "The members understood me and accepted me, in every way. It's funny, but the Club is kind of like a family, probably more understanding than any real family could be."

"Is your boyfriend still a member?"

Marnie's eyes darkened as she shook her head sadly.

"No, he's not," she said quietly.

"Did he quit?" Holly asked, interested.

Marnie shook her head.

"No, he broke the rules. He was punished and kicked out."

The Voice jumped right in at that:

"See? It's a Cult, and if you break any tiny rule, they throw you out and keep your money. They probably use threats and coercion to keep you in line. God, they could murder people! And for what? To have perverted, sick sex. God knows what their "rules" are? Have you thought of that, Holly?

Who do you have to have sex with? Anyone who wants you? Either you play their disgusting games or you're kicked out. Or worse!"

Holly closed her eyes for a moment. She willed the Voice to be quiet, then opened her eyes when her brain was still.

"What did Robert do?" Holly asked.

Marnie sighed.

"He ignored Mercy," she said sadly. "A woman asked him to stop and he didn't. It wasn't even during a Club function, but the Society doesn't tolerate ignoring Mercy, ever."

"And he was kicked out?" Holly asked. This sounded more reassuring than threatening.

Marnie nodded.

"Yes," she told Holly. "After he was punished."

Holly felt a chill run through her body. Marnie had mentioned punishment once before. She had to ask.

"What happened?"

Marnie sighed.

"Well, Robert was tried. There's a procedure for addressing a complaint. There was no question he'd ignored a plea of Mercy. So he was punished by being made the Guest of Honor at one of the Parties they have."

"That's a punishment?" Holly asked.

Marnie looked at her gravely and nodded.

"Since he didn't give me Mercy, he couldn't expect it either. People simply did whatever they wanted to him, regardless of his protests. He learned what it's like not to have Mercy."

Holly felt a shiver of fear. Much as he may have deserved it, it seemed terribly extreme.

"You said 'me'?" Holly asked.

Marnie nodded.

"Yes," she said. "I was the victim. Robert and I were playing bondage games.

Marnie sighed. This was obviously a difficult memory for her.

"Robert was trying to impress two co-workers," she went on. He let them come in and look at me, then invited them to have sex with me. I said Mercy and he ignored me."

"So you were raped," Holly said.

Marnie nodded.

"Yes, they both had sex with me, without condoms, which is also against Club rules. I complained and Robert was punished and banned from the club."

"It sounds like he deserved it," Holly said.

Marnie nodded.

"I really cared for him," Marnie said softly. "And Robert apologized later and said it wouldn't happen again. He begged me not to tell."

"But you did," Holly said, understanding Marnie's ambivalence. Holly could imagine how difficult it was for her.

"Yes, that's the rules. If anyone ever ignores Mercy, for whatever reason, or tries to talk you out of it before releasing you, it's an infraction of the Rule. It has to be reported or you are guilty of an infraction as well.

Not all of them are handled so harshly, but this was clearly a complete violation."

Marnie smiled, wanly. This was still a difficult memory for her.

Holly realized Marnie's eyes were wet as she looked up into Holly's eyes and spoke, very softly.

"So Robert got completely violated."

"What about the men who raped you?" Holly asked. She hated to dredge this up, but if she was to become a member, she wanted to know the worst.

"One was a prospective member," Marnie told her. "He was blacklisted permanently and also punished like Robert was. The other was injured in a mugging a few weeks later."

Holly listened, both shocked and strangely comforted. At least the Club took care of it's own. That seldom happened, not in the real world.

"Did the Club have him beat up?" Holly inquired.

Marnie shook her head and shrugged.

"I wouldn't be surprised, but you simply don't ask. It's Society business, not your business. I know it's strange, but that occurrence made me feel safer in the Club. The rules are strict but very fair. And breaking them is always punished."

Holly nodded. It was really odd, but this made her feel more comfortable too. It reflected the very real fears she had felt with John. What was to stop him from ignoring her pleas, and doing whatever he wished?

Apparently, the Club had their own way of handling this problem.

"What are the rules?" Holly asked. As long as she had gone this far, she might as well find out.

"You always have Mercy," Marnie said. Holly smiled. This was what John had told her the other night.

"That's it?" Holly asked.

"No, there are others, like never revealing the names of other members and what occurs in this room stays in this room. You don't talk about what you do with other members, unless they have given their permission."

Holly felt a shiver of familiarity. The wonderful things John had said, that made her feel so safe and even cherished, were the rules of the Club.

Holly wondered if she felt good about that, or more than a little used.

"Is there a list?" Holly asked.

"Yes," Marnie said. "Donatien will give you a copy of them if you are accepted."

"Donatien?" Holly asked.

Marnie smiled.

"John's older brother," she said. She looked around and whispered, "His real name is Donald, but everyone calls him Donatien. It was the Marquis de Sade's first name."

Holly nodded. Somehow that made perfect sense.

"How do you afford the Club on your salary?" she asked.

Marnie smiled coolly.

"That is between me and the Club. It always is. Donatien will explain that as well."

Holly nodded. She realized that she wanted to meet Donatien or Donald or whoever he was.

And she had a few hard questions for John as well.

"I thought you were sharing something special with me," Holly hissed. "But you were just using the same line you used with all the other women."

John shook his head, shocked by this sudden change in her. But Holly wasn't going to give this man time to come up with a slick excuse.

He'd probably learned the excuses in the club as well.

"So you just fed me the crap you learned in the Club and that was it?" Holly asked, incensed at his gall.

John looked at her, his grey eyes soft, almost pained.

"Holly, Donnie and I made up those rules, years ago. He came up with Mercy, and I was the one who created "what occurs in this room stays in this room." We worked on them together."

"I feel used, John. I trusted you because you said these safe, wonderful, reassuring things. Now I find out you got them off a PIECE OF PAPER!"

"Holly, they weren't just things I said," John told her. "I meant everything I told you. Yes, some of it is the rules of the club. They're excellent rules. They're designed to make you feel safe and in control."

"Right," Holly said coldly. "I feel safe and in control and you get your rocks off! My god, I pissed my pants last night and you liked it! You get your perverted kicks, and I feel "safe and in control" while you use me as your personal whore! You make me feel protected and safe while you strip away every shred of dignity and self-respect I have."

Holly realized she was yelling but, damn it, she had every right to yell at this bastard.

"You offer me to your friends," she went on, "so they can have their fun too. You're just a manipulative bastard, feeding me the club line and assuming I'm too stupid to know what's going on!"

John's eyes went cold and Holly felt a rush of fear. He was angry now. She was going to be punished.

John turned his back on her and took a deep breath. As he did so, Holly felt her body, her newly awake and much more aware body, and realized suddenly what was happening. Her fear of punishment contained a very definite erotic thrill. She had made him angry and almost eagerly awaited her chastisement.

John turned around and looked at her coldly.

"If you think that what we have is simply the result of a scripted performance, that's your choice," he told her quietly.

"If you think I told you these reassuring things just because I had learned them by rote and that I didn't really care about your feelings or your fears, that is also your choice."

Holly looked at John, her feelings a jumble. She didn't think that, yet that was basically what she had accused him of.

"John, I..."

John put up his hand. He was obviously fighting for control, something Holly had never seen him do. Holly got the feeling he was about to hit her or kiss her, and he didn't want to do either.

"I thought we had something valuable, something beautiful," John said tersely. "A relationship based in mutual respect and trust."

He sighed and looked down. Holly wanted to go to him, to apologize to him, but she didn't want to just crumble and give in.