Chapter 27

We took one of the shuttles to the Island. We came down so we would be approaching from out of the east. There was a long white beach with lots of trees back from the high water line. A few small mountains on the north end and a beautiful resort in the middle that took advantage of the setting.

When we landed there was someone to take our bags and we didn't even stop to check in. I was told that all of that had already been handled. We were shown to a bungalow that was screened from the others so we had privacy yet at the same time was close to everything that we might want to take part in.

Jade wouldn't even let me unpack. She did it. I changed into a set of shorts, a tee shirt and slid my feet into a set of well broken in canvas shoes and went out on the porch or in this setting I guess you would call it a lanai. She soon joined me and we went for a walk. We walked away from the resort into the grounds around it and towards the beach. We walked along the beach for a kilometer or so when I heard a noise on the land side of us. Just like in the dream I swept her behind me, turned to face the danger and drew my weapon. Only there wasn't any danger and I didn't have a weapon. It was another couple enjoying the serenity and peacefulness. She had laughed and that's what I had heard. I had scratched my hip twice trying to draw a weapon I didn't have to defend against a danger that didn't exist. Then I knew how bad it had become.

I turned to Jade and tried to say something. Tried to explain how I couldn't put her in danger also. Couldn't lose her too but nothing would come out. I looked at her, my mouth open trying to say something but no words would come out.

She just took my arm and turned us around and we strolled back the way we had come. We still hadn't said anything. Not a word since we arrived at the bungalow. When we got back she pushed me into the shower and then joined me. After we dried off we stretched out on the bed. She moved in behind me and wrapped her arms around me.

"Talk to me Mick. Where are you? What's going on in your head?"

I started to talk and started to cry. I talked about the loss of Marci. About Denny getting blown away and the loss of Odin's Maiden. About the stigma that being Dispossessed caused. About the loss of my Mother. The loss of my troops. About being afraid I would lose her too. Words kept coming out and so did tears. I went to sleep still wrapped in her arms. It was morning when I awoke to the smell of coffee. She was sitting on the side of the bed holding two cups. One she was drinking from and one for me.

"When's the last time you talked to someone about your feelings?" she asked.

"I never have. I talked a little to Doc one time about Marci but I was drunk and passed out. That's it."

She called me several names and we started to talk. Talk about the losses that I had suffered. How to deal with them and how to let go of all the garbage that I had pent up inside. No crying, just talk. We talked for quite some time until I asked if we could stop and get something to eat as I was hungry.

We ate and then took another walk. This time we talked. Not about problems but the scenery, the trees, the flowers and everything else. We strolled along the beach for a several kilometers until I started to tire. You don't walk much sitting behind a desk or at the controls of a Mech. So we sat down in the shade and watched the waves come rolling in.

"Jade, don't think less of me just because I can't handle a few little problems, please," I asked as we sat there.

She didn't say anything she just got up and kicked me in the leg. I mean she kicked me.

"Why'd you do that?" I asked rubbing the leg.

"Why you rubbing your leg?"

"Because, damnit, you kicked me!"

"Yeah, but rubbing it makes it feel better doesn't it?"

"Yes."

"Well, damnit, how do you rub your feelings if you keep them all bottled up inside? You have to let them out so you can rub them too. And don't hand me that masculine macho bullshit. Men have feelings just like real people."

"Honey," she said dropping down in front of me. "Did you think any less about me when I cried at your home? You shut the door so we could be alone, held me so I felt safe and shared with me as much as you could. That's all I'm trying to do. You hurt inside. I can't put a bandage on it but I can help in other ways if you'll let me. I want to. Please?"

I couldn't say anything to that. I just pulled her in, hugged her and kissed the top of her head. It was the only part of her I could reach at the moment.

We walked back hand in hand talking. Really talking, not just mouthing words. When we got back we changed and went swimming in the ocean. There were lots of fish in the water. With a spear you would never go hungry. We laughed and ducked each other. Played and kissed. She made me come in before I burned from too much sun.

There was a large hammock on the lanai and I stretched out in it. She nestled in beside me and it was very comfortable. With all the sun, the swimming, the walking and the emotional exhaustion I went to sleep. It was very peaceful.

We spent ten days this way. Alone, taking walks, swimming, snorkeling, talking. I soon became very brown while she just added to her tan some. After ten days we went to see what the rest of the place looked like. There was a casino, a fancy restaurant, a clothiers so you wouldn't look out of place in the restaurant, a riding stable, a store with camping and hiking gear you could buy or rent, a marina where you could rent boats and several other things to do.

"Do you know how to sail?" I asked Jade one day. "I've never been sailing and it looks like fun. I've always wanted to try."

"There's really nothing to it. You let the wind take you where you want to go. You just need to know how to convince the wind to take you when it doesn't want to. Come on we'll try."

I released the ropes from the dock when she told me. I pulled on another rope when she told me and the sail moved up the big pole sticking out of the middle of the boat. We started to move. The wind was pushing the sail and the sail was pushing the boat and we were moving. We got about a forty meters from the end of the dock and she moved the handle hard to one side and we flipped over.

"Ok, now what?" I asked her.

"I don't know. I don't know how to sail either." she laughed. "I read a book about it once and it looks easy so I decided why not?"

We swam back in towing the boat. The rental agent just shook his head at us. He showed us how to right the boat and then made us get all the water out. Then he started to explain to us the basics of sailing. First he told us what the parts were. My big pole was of course the mast, the handle was the rudder, the hole in the floor I had noticed was the hole in the deck where the keel board went, ropes were lines and then he started to tell us how to make it go. And more important how to come back.

So out we went again. We had a lot of fun. Only flipped it over twice and made it back in one piece. We hadn't really learned much about sailing but we did have a lot of fun and that was all that counted.

We went riding several times, each time Jade got better. We went to the fancy restaurant a couple of times. They looked at my kilt kind of funny but I was properly attired. We tried all the other things and decided that we would take a backpacking trip for a few days. I had done some camping when I was younger and in the Academy we had to go on cross country marches and slept out so I knew a little.

We rented what we would need and purchased food for the trip. I was feeling better than I had in a long time. From the walking, swimming and riding I was very fit so this shouldn't be too bad. We took maps of the area with the trails clearly marked and set off. With my longer legs I let her set the pace. We were hiking north towards the mountains.

The first day was a gradual climb and the terrain was very open. The second day the climb was a bit steeper and we moved into a more wooded area. The third day we branched off the main trail and worked our way parallel to the mountains headed for an area that one of the clerks in the hiking shop had told us about. There was a large stream with a very high waterfall cascading down from the mountain.

This trail was marked too so going the right way was not difficult. By late afternoon we were in the area. We could hear the cascades and see parts of the stream. We moved on along with the noise getting louder and louder until we could hardly hear what the other said. Then rounding a bend in the trail we came upon the clearing that the clerk had told us to look for.

There was a large area at the edge of the woods for camping. There were several logs pulled up for seats and a ring of stones making a fire pit. A large beach area and the stream. Just a little ways up stream was the falls hitting the water. There was no one else around and the falls were every bit as beautiful as he had said it was. Our ears began to adjust to the roaring noise I guess because after a bit we could hear even with the falls right by us.

We set up camp and then I made a sweep through the edge of the woods gathering fallen limbs and other downed wood. I drug it to camp and broke it up into smaller pieces. As it got darker I started a fire in the fire pit beside the camp area. We cooked over the open fire which was a novelty. Later I pulled out a surprise. I handed Jade a stick with a marshmallow on the end of it.