Chapter 5

I walked home, feeling lonelier that I had ever been before.

I didn't know when, but in my heart I knew I would see her soon if I had my way. I spent the day at home searching my mind for some miracle, finding none. Mom left me alone that evening to grieve alone, knowing there nothing she could do or say to help. I lay in bed that night wondering what I would do with my self.

The following morning I was up at six and began jogging. Just being away from working out for these past weeks was telling me something. Ten miles of jogging was nothing a few weeks ago but I struggled after the first six, only being able to run eight.

After walking the last half-mile to my house I was determined, now more than ever to get and stay at peak performance. Arriving home, I went to the shed, pulled out my kicking bag, and hung it from a tree in the back yard. I spent the next hour and a half working on all of my kicking moves and then for the next half hour, punching at the hard rubber mat I had nailed to the same tree. I spent four hours total working out and would do the same this afternoon. I knew it would take a week to get where I was before so I set my goal for two four hour training sessions for one week and then I would return to my part time job at the karate studio.

It didn't take me long to develop a habit of looking in the mailbox every time I passed it. Even early in the morning before the run, or late in the evening, hours after I had checked it, I still looked, hoping I may have missed a letter somehow.

Friday afternoon I got my first letter from her and I was ecstatic. I ran into the house and sat at the kitchen table to read it.

My love,

I miss and love you so much I can't explain in words. I cried most of the way here. These past weeks you have made my life so bearable that I had forgotten all the years I spent alone. Now I am beginning to feel as if I am back at square one. However, I have you to think and dream about. It doesn't make any sense, why is life treating us this way?

It is so much different up here. The people seem friendly as I watch them, but they move around so much faster. They don't take time to stop and smell the roses. My aunt and uncle live in, an older section of Minneapolis, sort of middle class with lots of beautiful homes.

I wonder what you are doing now, are you thinking of me every minute as I think of you. It seems as if one day is as five being apart from you...

For an hour after I had read her letter I floated on cloud nine but then I came down to reality, realizing she is gone and I can't be with her. The only way I knew to vent my frustrations was to run or workout so I ran twelve miles and pounded the board afterwards.

Saturday and Sunday were the same as I spent most of the time working out.

After a brief workout on Monday morning, I went to the studio at 10:00 am, when it opened. Tommy was surprised to see me and wondered where I had been. I explained all that had happened over that past few weeks and he then understood why I hadn't been there, but seemed disappointed that I had not called him.

"I wish you had called. I wanted to know if you were interested in a match coming up on the fifteenth of next month. The main bouts will be pro but a select few amateur bouts will be held between those."

"I'm not an amateur, Tommy. I want to fight pro!" I stated, confused that he would even ask me.

"I know that but you've never fought for money and this will give us a better idea to see if you're ready. Look, the match I have set you up with is a guy from Oklahoma and he is ranked second in the country as an amateur. If you can take him then, who knows, you may get a shot at some money bouts."

"You and I both know I'll take him," I said, feeling confident because I had never lost before. As well, my psyche would never let me admit defeat.

"That's what I've always liked about you, confidence!" Tommy said, patting me on the back as we walked to the dressing room.

"By the way. What style does he use?"

"Tai Kwon Do."

"Hum, that's always good to know," I replied, thinking that form uses kicking.

"I have a little background on him. We'll discuss it more during your preparation."

"Sure, okay!" I answered, knowing I had three weeks to prepare.

I spent most of the day working out until 5:30, when the first class of the evening started. Twenty-two students were in this one, ranging from seven to eighteen years old. Tommy instructed the first hour and a half, while I normally took over the second hour and a half.

Where Chinese style Kung Fu used a flowing, circular motion, and the Korean Tai Kwon Do use mostly kicking, Tommy taught American style that used a combination of all types of karate.

The one difference in the way we were teaching these kids, which was self-defense, and the method he taught me was an aggressive style. He had over the years developed his own techniques of an attack style. "Defend yourself by totally attacking your aggressor, surprising him with a flurry of kicks, jabs and never giving the opponents time to think", was his motto.

He had only taught this style to a select few and I asked him once why he had chosen me. He said he had only known a few people in his life, that had a particular aggressive nature in this sport, that could be effective using this technique, and I was one of them. This technique was used only for one purpose and that was to render an opponent immobilized if necessary, meaning to knock them out or even fracturing bones if the aggressor doesn't back away.

In everyday life, I was naturally low keyed but when I was in a match, something took over my mind and I became very aggressive. It was as if I had two personalities and the evil one came out during a match. Tom said that was unique in that most could not control themselves on or off the mat.

The remaining week was the same, grueling and intense days of practice. I was totally focused but Samantha's image remained in the back of my mind. I knew this was the way out for mom, Samantha and me. I had been at the studio all day Friday and got home about 8:30 pm. Mom had gotten home earlier than me so she had gotten the mail out of the box.

"Samantha's letter is on the table," she said, pointing. I picked it up and began walking to my room.

"Do you want to talk about it?" mom asked.

"About what?" I asked.

"Why you are spending so much time practicing?"

I walked over to her and kissed her on the cheek. "I have a match in two weeks and it's a big one," I said, and then walked back to my room and read the letter.

We had decided to send each a letter once a week, although she would start writing days before mailing, which made her letters much longer. I think I had settled in my mind that she was away and it would be awhile before we could be together, but I wasn't losing hope that it would be sooner than later. She had mentioned that she had written Alicia a short letter just to say hi and Alicia had called her yesterday that would have been Tuesday. It was taking two days for the mail to arrive.

I had just gotten out of the shower and was changing clothes in my room when mom knocked on the door.

"Allen. Alicia, Al and Marsha are here to see you."

"Okay," I replied. I finished dressing and went into the den to greet them.

"Hi! We all said and hugged; I shook Al's hand.

"I talked to Samantha this week. She sounded so excited to get a call from someone at home. We had a long talk and I told her to hang in there," Alicia said.

"Thanks, that was sweet of you. Why aren't you three out partying tonight, it's Friday?" I asked.

"We haven't seen or heard from you in two weeks and we thought you might want to go for a ride. We just found out from your mother that you had been training," Alicia commented.

"I have."

"Come on then, take a ride. Al has a new car and we have been riding around."

"You look like you need a break!" Al interjected.

"Yeah, come with us!" Marsha added.

"Okay but not too late. I have to get up at five thirty in the morning,."

"Five thirty! Five thirty!" Al echoed himself.

"Yeah, I'm in training for a match. Mom, I'm going for a ride. I'll be back in a while," I said as we walked out. "

Marsha, what are you doing wasting you time with these younger kids?" I asked, opening the door for her to slide into the back seat and followed her.

Al had bought a Mustang. The back seats were a little cramped for me but Alicia adjusted her seat forward, giving me a little more room. Marsha seems comfortable, being only five-five.

"Where too," Marsha asked.

"The Whopper," Al replied. All the young kids hung out on Friday nights at that burger place.

"So Allen, where is this match. I'd like to watch it?" Al asked.

"Atlanta, in two weeks. There are full contact pro matches slated over the weekend and they are having a few amateur exhibitions between them. I'm taking on a nineteen year old guy from Oklahoma."

"That's only an hour and a half away, we can make that!" Alicia said.

"I'd like to come too," Marsha added.

"Tommy is putting up the tab for my motel room Friday and Saturday night. We're making a weekend of it. He says there'll be a few promoters there that may want to talk to me. That's if I win!"

"You going to turn pro?" Al asked.

"Not until I am ranked number one in amateur competition. The guy I'm slated with, is number two but the number one guy has a match too. We figure if I win, I'll get a shot at him."

"I know you'll win!" Alicia stated.

"I think so too!" Marsha added.

The parking lot was packed of cars and school kids. We pulled into the Whopper and drove through, finally finding a place to park. The owner allowed the kids to hang out here under two conditions, no trash thrown on the lot and no drinking. The money he made off the kids more than offset any cleaning he had to do. I had been through the drive-thru window several times with mom, only to get hamburgers. One time we did park to eat but that was during the late afternoon before dark and before all the kids started piling in. I noticed many familiar faces from school and just as many unfamiliar faces.

Al and Alicia went inside to get our order while Marsha and I stayed in the car and talked.

"Do you remember? I think you were about seven years old at the time. Ray Hollis, and two girls walking down the street in front of your house and Ray was calling you names.

"No, I don't remember to many specific incidents, but I do remember Ray calling me names all the time. Why?"

"I was one of those girls with him. I remember laughing at the name's he called you. I just want you to know that I am sorry. I should have tried stopping him," she explained apologizing.

"That's water under the bridge. I don't even think about that any more," I said, but in fact, I did think about those things quite often.

"We never gave you a chance did we, I mean all of us kids?"

"To be honest, no."

They brought our burgers and fries back and we ate off the hood of his car. Many of the kids would wander round the parking lot laughing and cutting up with everyone and they stopped by to talk with Al, while Marsha, Alicia and I were joking around. Three guys that Marsha knew drove through the lot twice and pulled up in front of Al's car, blocking through traffic. The driver was leaning over and began talking to Marsha, trying to get her to go with him.

"That's Donald Rutherford, I dated him a couple of times and he's a real jerk!" she said, leaning over to me. I looked at her as if it weren't my business.

"Come on Marsha, I'm taking Jeff and Steve home in a minute. You and I can go to a movie or something," Donald said, waving her to come.

"Or something! I had to slap his face more than once," she whispered to me. I laughed a little at that because of the way she said it.

I leaned over to her ear. "Tell him you don't want to go."

"Hey asshole, no one asks you so butt out!" he shouted, speaking to me.

"I don't want to go with you Donald," she shouted back.

He opened his door and got out, walking around the front of his car toward her. She wrapped her arms around mine.

"What are you holding onto him for? I just want to talk," he said walking up and standing in front of us.

"Oh shit!" Al said, taking Alicia's hand and walking toward the rear of the car.

"Where' are you going Al?" I asked, joking with him. He smiled and shook his head.

"You don't want to hang around these high school kids," Donald said and tried putting his hand on her shoulder. I reached over and pushed his hand away before he touched her.

"Hey, we have a tough guy here!" Donald shouted to Steve and Jeff that remained sitting in the car. They opened their doors and got out, walking over to us.

"Stay here Alicia, there's not going to be a three on one," Al stated, coming over and standing beside Marsha.

"We don't want any trouble. She doesn't want to go with you, so let's forget it," I stated.

"Shut up punk!" Jeff blurted to me.

"I have to warn you guys that I have a black belt in karate," I said, legally warning them.

"That shit don't mean anything out here on the street," Donald flared back.

"You guys really don't want to mess with him!" Al stated.

"Shut the fuck up, boy!" Donald said looking at Al.

"I'm just saying you better not start anything with him," Al replied.

"If I have to tell you to shut up again, we're going to kick your ass," Donald remarked.

"No you're not! So quit shooting off your mouth!" I said, provoking him.

He didn't say anything but reached again to put his hand on Marsha who was still holding my arm. I reached and grabbed his throat, cutting off his air supply and he immediately grabbed my arm with both hands trying to break loose. Jeff and Steve stood by and did nothing to help him. When I saw he was almost to the point of passing out, I released him and he fell back against the other car gasping for air.

"I told you!" Al said and laughed.

I didn't say anything to him as he held his throat, getting back in his car and driving off. Marsha continued holding onto my arm.

"You should've kicked his ass!" someone shouted. I looked around and about twenty-five people were standing around. I wondered for a second if they really wanted to see someone get hurt. I shook my head and smiled, looking at Marsha.

"He's gone now, you can let go," I said. She slowly released my arm.

"I told you. Sometimes I need a Knight in Shining Armour," she smiled.

"Thanks for backing me up Al," I said, giving him a high five.

"Anytime man."

Alicia came up to me and kissed me on the mouth. Thanks Allen. I couldn't stand him when Marsha was dating him."

"Hey guys, I'm the one who needs to thank him!" Marsha interjected, kissing me.

"Anyone else want to thank me?" I asked, jokingly.

We leaned on the cars and talked for more than an hour. The lot remained full. Many of the cars had to be parked next door at the auto parts place and the kids would walk over here to the Whopper. I had never been out with people like this before and it seemed strange but most of the kids were very friendly. It seemed now that Al and Alicia accepted me, that their friends are now accepting me as one of them. For whatever reason I didn't mind. I was having a good time.

At nineteen, you think Marsha would prefer to be with a group closer to her own age, but she seemed to fit right in. None of the kids that were with us were older than seventeen and I would be sixteen in two weeks. I didn't want to assume anything but she was hanging awful close to me, almost close enough that it caused me to be a little uncomfortable at times. She didn't come on to me at anytime or say anything out of the ordinary but maybe she thought since we came together she was with me. I was afraid to tease her about it because she may think I was being assuming.

Without warning, a car pulled up and stopped, blocking Al's car and four older guys got out. The driver walked around looking as though he was searching for someone.

"Which one of you is Allen Paterson?" he asked. I could see in his eyes that he was looking for trouble.

"That's Butch Seagal, one of the Seagal brothers, stay away from him if you can, he is bad news," Al said to me quickly. The other three were his buddies. I had heard that name many times at school. They were notorious for gang fighting, and ambushing someone they didn't like. I saw one of them holding a tire tool just behind his leg, trying to conceal it. My worst fear was about to happen so without thinking I reacted.

I leaped, putting a sidekick into his throat and then came down on his knee with my foot, hyper extending it enough to disable him. I then lunged at one of the others, forcing the palm of my hand on his nose, breaking it, making his eyes water enough to blind him for a minute. The third one backed up, throwing his hands up in defeat and I walked toward the fourth holding the tire tool. He backed up slightly as I inched toward him.

"Put it down or I promise you will eat it!" I exclaimed, still inching toward him as he continued backing up. He threw it down just as we heard the police sirens in the distance and then walked over to Butch and helped him into the passenger side of the car as the other two also got in. He ran around, got in behind the steering wheel, and took off as the crowd opened up letting him through.

"Al was laughing as he walked up to me. "Damn Allen, you know you just kicked Butch Seagal's ass!"

My adrenaline was flowing and I was taking short breaths to control my nerves. I knew I was lucky because that was the first time I had ever been in that situation with more than one person other than practicing. I felt a certain amount of fear inside but I also felt relief that I was able to handle the situation without being hurt. It all happened so fast I was just now calming down and seeing what I had done, realizing the consequences.

"Take me to the house Al. The cops aren't going to like this!" I said, prodding him to get in the car.

"No, stay here! We are all witnesses, they jumped you and it was four on one. Right guys!" he said to the others. There were a multitude of kids hanging around and they all agreed with him. We waited another two minutes and the police pull up and got out walking my way as everyone pointed in my direction.