Chapter 1

My tenth year of school was no better than the previous nine, excluding kindergarten, for which I can't remember. I was in the latter part of the second semester of this year and my daily routine remained the same. Get up at five thirty, workout for an hour or two, spend thirty minutes every morning scrubbing my face to remove the oil that had accumulated the previous night, soak my face in alcohol and prep it with facial cleansers then applying acne lotion. God my face looked gross and if it grossed me out, how does it look to others.

Rather than ride the bus I would walk or run the one and a quarter mile to school each morning, rain or shine. Attend school, go to karate class and spend three hours there as an assistant instructor. Go home, study my homework, workout again, clean my face and go to bed. To me life offered nothing more than this, but knowing I was not alone kept me from feeling sorry for myself.

During school, the only eye-to-eye contact I could have with anyone was with Samantha Greene, my equivalent in this life of cruel kids. As do I, she also has a severe acne problem and looks down when she walks so as not to notice the stares as we walk by others. Somehow, we always notice the other when we pass, greeting one another with a quick, "Hi" and a smile. God I love her smile, it's so warm and beautiful.

I have an advantage over her; I have a third degree black belt at fifteen and weighing 185 pounds at six foot. She is somewhat skinny about five-two, but if people could only see past her acne, they would see the most beautiful smile and perfect teeth. However, for us, or for me, that was it, a little "Hi" and a quick smile was all she offered. I think we both were afraid of the feelings the other may have, like wanting to be a loner so not to be disappointed in any friendships. It was better that way because if you had a friend, they had a friend and soon you would hear those little slurs "Damn that's some gross shit on his face" amongst a few others I've heard, which because of my size and everyone knows I hold a third degree black belt dares not to say anything to my face. Samantha and I have the severest form of acne anyone can possibly get.

When I was younger, it was different, kids were bolder and didn't mind calling me a "Puss Face" to my face. Determined to change that I worked, mowing lawns and any other little job I could get to pay for karate classes each week. Unlike most kids, who's parents sent them for some reasons of self gratification, I took karate serious and spent many hours a day, before and after school during the week and many more on weekends so I could learn to defend myself. By the age of fourteen, I was breaking solid bricks and two by fours with my fist and now I am able to kick a basketball net standing underneath from flat-footed. I showed that little trick to a few of the bullies one day during gym class and I think they took the hint because I never heard any more cracks about my face. However, I am not aggressive by nature in any way. I love life and don't begrudge people for my flaws. I have learned much from Tommy Won, my karate instructor. At fifty-two he is the mildest mannered man I know but don't try and take him for granted he can seriously hurt someone if necessary.

My father left us four years ago when I was eleven, why I couldn't say, mother says he never wanted to be married in the first place. My mother, Elaine Paterson, is the most wonderful woman in the world, working twelve-hour days, six days a week in a grocery store to support us. Even then, her pay wasn't very much, which kept us housed in the lower income section of town. At thirty-six she is still a pretty woman but working long hours and being alone for so long has had some affect on her happiness. She often tells me I am a gorgeous boy. Relatives had told me often that before I was six, when I first developed a minor case of this skin problem, that I was a very cute kid. Nevertheless, I don't think anyone remembers me from then except for mom. "Allen, you will always be gorgeous to me," she continues to say. I love her and hope someday to return to her all the love and more that she has given me.

Thursday - 5 1/2 weeks remaining in school!

I wanted so much to speak to Samantha but I came up short on guts every time that we passed one another, losing my nerve at the last second. The halls are full, the thundering of hundreds of voices in the air as kids scrambled to reach their classes before third period bell, but I spot her coming my way as she always does. However, just then turning the corner was Al Freeman, a senior linebacker for the school football team, not looking where he's going and bumps into her, spilling her books over the floor.

"Don't touch me you skagg!" he shouts and backs away from her as though he might catch something. I ran up to him and he was on the floor before he knew what happened, lying under my fist.

"Apologize or I'll break your nose where you lay!" I said, threatening him.

He looked at Samantha as she picked up her books, almost crying. "I'm sorry!" he shouted angrily.

"Say I'm sorry Samantha, and mean it this time," I repeated, drawing my fist back another two inches.

"I'm sorry Samantha," he said, with a softer tone. I let him go not thinking anymore about him and helped her pick up the books. After we stood up, I looked around at everyone, and gave a look of warning about anything like this happening in the future. I wasn't worried anymore, I knew the word would get around and this wouldn't happen again.

"Are you all right?" I asked, kneeling to help her.

"Yes I'm fine. You didn't have to do that. It doesn't bother me anymore, I hear it all the time," She said, making apologies for them.

"I promise it will never happen again," I assured her.

"Thank you," she said, and then showed me her beautiful smile.

"Let me walk you to class," I said, more asking than not.

"That's not necessary, I'll be okay,"

"Oh, I'm sorry. You don't want to be seen with me," I said, jokingly, but she took me to be serious.

"No, not at all. It's just that..."

"It's settled then. Come on!" I said, taking her books. She smiled again.

The ice had been broken and I suddenly felt different. My shyness began fading but what do I say, how can I extend this conversation beyond a simple "Thank you"?

"You have such a beautiful smile," I said, nervously.

"Thank you. That's a first!" she smiled again.

"God I love your smile!" I repeated, not being able to think straight, and returning her smile. We reached her class and I handed the books back to her. "Can I walk you home today?"

"I ride the bus," she said, sounding disappointed.

"You only live two blocks from me, I walk to and from school everyday. It's only a little over a mile," I said, hoping she would agree.

"I remember! You rode the bus at first. That's how you know where I live," she replied, puzzled for a moment, in how I knew.

"Well, will you walk with me, I'll carry your books?" I asked, with a pleading look on my face.

She hesitated a second, thinking. "Okay!" she said, and then smiled. The bell rang as other kids scurried by us to enter the classroom.

"I love your smile!" I complimented her again, feeling somewhat silly at repeating myself. She hurried in the door looking back and smiling once more.

I did it! I spoke to her! I thought to myself and feeling proud.

After school, I waited at the side entrance knowing she exited this door every day. While waiting, I leaned against the brick wall, outside the door looking at the ground. I would sometimes sneak a glance at some of the kids passing bye, and always, there was this quick look of disgust in their faces as they quickly turned their heads. It really didn't bother me that they couldn't look at me because of my face but it did thinking they didn't know what was inside of me. I was just like them, a kid wanting friends as all of them have, someone I could talk to about how I feel, what my aspirations are and even discuss girls as I hear some of the boys do.

What I did to Al Freeman earlier was really out of my character, which was the first time I had used violence in my life. I felt awful about it but when he stepped away from her and made that comment and I saw the expression on her face my mind exploded. I was glad it happened, only because of meeting Samantha. Did someone upstairs give me a little hand or was it just fate?

"Are you daydreaming?" I heard a voice say to me. I turned and Samantha was standing next to me smiling, bringing a smile to my face.

"I guess I was, are you ready, let me have your books," I said, pushing away from the wall, taking them from her.

As we walked across the school campus, in the distance behind us I heard one of the boys comment, "There goes a perfect couple". I turned to look at Samantha and to my surprise she smiled, also hearing the comment.

"I guess we're just a couple of Ugly Ducklings, aren't we?" she stated. We burst out laughing. I knew in that instant that her heart was made of pure gold. She was real now, not just a face but also someone underneath that suddenly appeared, not hidden behind that petite body.

We walked a ways and talked about school, our teachers and families, laughed and joked about many things. The more I talked with her I began feeling something inside I had never felt before. More than just friendship, it was something stirring inside of me that sent sensations to every part of my body. I seemed like love but I wasn't sure because I had never been in love.

She mentioned the incident earlier today and did show a little disappointment in me for being too aggressive with Al. I promised her I would never happen again. We even got a little personal and spoke of our dreams for the future. She explained how she wanted to go to college and be a schoolteacher, maybe own her own bookstore one day and she began telling me about another dream of hers but was reluctant, withdrawing for a moment.

"Come on, tell me. I promise I won't laugh," I said, looking very serious.

"You tell me what you want to do first and maybe I'll tell you," she replied, having a very shy expression.

"Okay, I want to be the greatest karate champion that ever lived, I want to get world recognition and become a stunt double in action movies and eventually have my own stunt company. Is that too far out?" I asked, not sure of what her response would be.

"No, I really believe you can do it. Remember I've personally seen you in action, and Al is two years older than you," she answered, with a glowing look of approval.

"You have to tell me now!" I stated. She blushed and turned her head. I looked upon her long, fine sandy brown hair thinking it was so beautiful. I reached and put my hand to it and stroked, running my hand down the full length to her waist and held it there. She turned to look at me with that shy expression and again hesitated from speaking. Now I was getting a good look into her eyes for the first time, seeing the whites in them accentuating the deep brown in her pupils sending that enlivening rush through by body again. My heart quickened as I put my palm to her cheek, she flinched at first, holding her face from my touch but finally allowing me to touch her and I held her eyes to mine. The electricity that flowed between us sent sensations through our bodies like we were standing on the ledge of a 90-story building looking down to the street. Could we leap? I slowly leaned to her, giving her time to react, finally touching my lips to hers. We had just taken that leap and she owned my heart for all eternity. We stood for ten minutes, our lips pressed softly together and kissed our first kiss for either of us. Never would we see the others marred face, only the inner love we found in this moment. I finally realized what had possessed my feeling when I thought of her. I had fallen in love for the first time.

Developing a relationship!

Days passed and before I realized it, two weeks had gone by, we had forgotten about the world around us. Every waking minute of every day, my life was consumed by thoughts of her. Even my dreams were of us together in ways that hadn't yet happened.

Her father like mine left them alone when she was twelve, leaving her mother to work many hours supporting them. Her mother as mine was everything to her and I saw this love for her mother, who grew sicker each day with ovarian cancer, restricting her working hours to just three days a week. That compelled Samantha and me to ride the bus each day.

Her mother remained in bed one morning and pressed Samantha to hurry home to be with her in the event she was needed that afternoon. I rode on the bus only to be near her. As we entered her house, she found a note saying her mother was feeling well enough after Samantha had left this morning that she decided to go to work. "See you at 9:30" the note ended. This brought a smile to her face knowing that her mother was feeling well enough to work.

I stayed with her and she prepared dinner for us. We sat and ate together and maybe she did too, but while sitting with her, I imagined us together as married, living our lives this way. As we washed and dried dishes together I began feeling something else within me, a desire, a lust to touch her body in a way I had dreamed of many times since that first kiss. My heart pounded as the sensation grew stronger, trying to find the nerve within me to let her know what I was experiencing inside. Unexpectedly, as I placed the last dish down she put her arms around my neck and pulled our mouths together. Her tongue touched between my lips causing my heart to flutter and my breathing to accelerate. The blood rushed through my veins as I felt my heart pumping out of control. My mind raced with thoughts of wanting to touch her, but holding myself back, then out of pure desire I placed my hand on her breast, holding it there waiting for some sign or reaction from her. I could sense her nervousness as her breathing stuttered and stopped, then catching up in one long breath. Her reaction to my touch surprised me. She began moving her hands slowly down my back to my waist and pulled our bodies closer together letting me know what I was doing was acceptable and pleasing to her.

Not having the luxuries of other kids, our clothes were not a perfect fit, hers loosely worn, never allowing me to view her shape as it really was. My imagination with few touches had always pictured a beautiful body but now I was near reality. We continued our soft kissing and now mingling of our tongues as we stood in agreement that we both wanted to make love. In unity, we pulled apart and stared into the other's eyes as I took her hand and we walked to her bedroom and stood at the foot of her bed.

Again kissing I reached between us and slowly began unbuttoning her blouse as she did mine. She first, seeming less afraid, pulled my shirt over my shoulders letting it fall to the floor as I then did hers. Her small breast swelled in the restriction of her bra as I glanced a peek at them. She reached to her back, unsnapped it, and then placed her fingers in the shoulder straps and slowly pulled it forward, letting it fall to the floor and stood, allowing me to look upon her. Her skin underneath was as mine, unblemished by the rash of acne that covered our faces. Her skin was perfectly smooth as I traced my hands over her shoulders, down her sides and back up her belly, finally resting them on her beautiful breasts, almost covering them with my palms. I felt of them with her approval, softly squeezing them in unbelief that they were real.

Nervously, I lowered myself to my knees, placing my fingers on the snap of her jeans, and pulled it apart while fumbling and then unzipping them as she looked down at me with a warm smile. With my thumbs and fingers, I pinched the sides of them, pulling them down easily because of the loose fit. I gazed in amazement at her faultless lines, her cotton white bikini panties formed perfectly with her curves and the small soft shaded area of her crotch puffed out showing a thin line indented underneath that seemed wet. I leaned forward touching my face to her panties feeling and smelling her firm lower belly as she placed her hands behind my head and held me to her. The sweet aroma of her panties and flesh filled my senses as my lips and nose pressed against her.

Placing her hands on mine that were behind her touching her cheeks, she guided them to the rim of her panties; giving a subtle hint, I took over, pulling them down to her ankles and she stepped out of them. Surprisingly, her pubic hair was neatly trimmed to only the spot above her crevice. Nervously I again leaned forward pressing my face against her, now touching her soft skin and the small patch of hair to my lips and nose. Slowly I moved my face around her belly, feeling her twitch with each kiss from my lips. The thought of her petite body under me and the sound of her gasping of short breaths kindled the fire within me.

Still on my knees, I edged her back to the bed until she flopped back throwing her arms wide, with her knees slightly separated and feet touching the floor. I caressed the top of her legs between her knees and hips; slowly gliding my hands between her thighs to her knees and repeated this as she opens her legs. Almost lunging I move my mouth quickly to her vagina then slowly burying my tongue between the lips as I listen to groans and pants of pleasure. Heavy breathing sounds from my nostrils filled the room as I lapped in my own enjoyment of having the girl I love in a way I never thought possible. Feeling feverish in anticipation, I was about to move up on her but the sudden fluttering of her body and the moans from her mouth restrained me as I realized what was happening. I pressed my tongue hardily as her body tensed and loud moans filled the room. Soon after, her body fell relaxed and the moans became purrs as I reveled in pride knowing I had brought her to that point.