Chapter 10: Al Fresco and Au Naturel

The next two days passed rapidly. Events had now progressed to the point that, short of calling off the wedding, they were out of our hands. With only a few days left, if something needed ordering or purchasing or planning, it was simply too late, and we would make do. This actually proved rather restful, in its own way.

The estate continued to receive guests arriving, many of them James’ associates in business, traveling from Boston, New York, and Philadelphia. They used the time before the wedding to plan how James would contact them and pass along instructions and receive reports and summaries whilst we traveled across the country during our honeymoon. Many of these gentlemen brought along their wives, and several brought along their children, and the Johnson daughters soon found themselves sharing the nursery with several other children.

This proved quite useful in keeping the children occupied, though James detailed Mister Singh to handle this. Ahkbar proved surprisingly adept at this task, and promptly put them to work upon the grounds. He paid them in penny candy, and we shortly had work crews who were very small and short sweeping the barns and feeding the animals. They considered this the greatest of sport, much to the amusement of their fathers and the horror of their mothers. I distinctly remember the look on Mary’s face when Janey came in one afternoon to proudly proclaim that she had swept out one of the pens, then showed her mother the manure on her shoes!

Another pastime which occupied our guests’ time proved to be the game of poker. Shortly after Uncle Wally and his fellows arrived, they managed to position a large round table on the front veranda and surrounded it with chairs. Afterwards, for the remainder of their visit, that table was occupied continuously by a non-stop game of poker. Her Majesty’s forces proved quite egalitarian at this, inviting all and sundry guests and workers to join them, and the stakes were kept low. I never really did understand the meaning of the term penny-ante, but it seemed as if the stakes involved were sufficiently low that our stable hands were perfectly comfortable in gambling some portion of their wages in this manner.

The other major aspect of this endless game was that an apparently limitless supply of spirits was required to be consumed by everyone who even walked somewhere in the vicinity of the table. When shocked watchers would protest the early morning imbibing, either the Naval Lieutenant or the Captain in the Black Watch would pronounce that it was a perfectly suitable time to drink in Cairo or Aden or Madras or such, and if both were present would begin arguing over just how many hours such locales were ahead or behind of the local hour. The American contingent supplied a considerable quantity of bourbon, which caused my countrymen to jest about the local habit of using corn to brew comestibles, whilst the Americans would in turn wonder about how the English could conquer the world when they could not even spell whisky properly.

Of considerable amusement was the propensity of several of the maids and cooks to join in, and on occasion to take the table for a small pile of winnings. On the other hand, they may well have been simply making their libidinous natures known to the gentlemen. Charity, for instance, after losing a few dollars’ worth of change, asked for a loan, leaning forward to display her impressive bosom and batting her eyes towards the men at the table. One of the Scots officers promptly declared that he considered this an eminently suitable form of collateral and slid a few pennies over. When Charity managed to lose these on the next hand, she eagerly stood and left the table with Major Campbell to allow him to collect his payment.

I asked James to teach me how to play, and one afternoon he brought a pack of playing cards into his study, though he told me that the game was not worth playing without wagers. I stood to go to my rooms and retrieve some coins, but James simply smiled and said we could wager our clothing, a variant of the game known as ‘strip poker.’ In practically no time at all he had managed to win every item I wore, and the final wager required that I perform a variety of lewd and wicked acts upon his person and for his amusement. Afterwards, while we panted with our release, I remarked that it was not necessary for him to resort to such subterfuges to get me naked and to have his way with me, to which he responded by shaking his head and replying that I simply did not understand the nature of the game.

Late Thursday morning I had James prepare a large picnic basket while I ordered up a large and well-sprung carriage, then invited Harry and AnneMarie on a picnic. They both looked on the verge of sneaking off to their room to practice for their own honeymoon, but I said, “You’re not married yet, so none of that sort of thing!” They laughed and joined us.

It was a beautiful late Spring day, warm and sunny, with a handful of puffy white clouds high in the sky, and James set a sedate pace as we headed up a trail through the back pasture. I took this opportunity to ask AnneMarie what her family had thought of Harry’s family when they met. I should explain that Harry Kendrickson had begun his courting of AnneMarie with a lie, to wit, that he was not a wealthy man. He had told us that after years of pursuit by women more interested in his account balances than in him, he had become extremely skittish towards our sex. When he met AnneMarie, she had not known who he was, and in point of fact, he had told her he was a clerk in a pickle factory! In truth, he and his brother actually owned the pickle factory, along with a number of others.

The romance went along swimmingly, and in short order they were engaged, but he had still not told his fiancée the truth. When it finally came out, when he took her to his home, with James and I in attendance to strengthen his resolve, she simply swooned and fainted dead away. Since that time, she had become accustomed to her upcoming station in life, but her own family was another matter entirely. They were a large and extended Italian clan, and they already suspected Harry of nefarious intentions. Neither James nor I had heard yet how the inevitable family get-together had gone over.

When I asked, Harry simply groaned and covered his head, and allowed AnneMarie to answer. The meeting had proved a farcical disaster of the first water. First and foremost, practically the entire Tormalino family insisted on attending; AnneMarie’s mother and father, four older brothers and her younger sister, her mother’s two sisters, and both grandmothers had traveled to Rhode Island to visit. Only the children were left behind, a good thing since there were almost two dozen grandchildren in the family. One of the finest items that Harry mentioned amidst his groans was that neither grandmother spoke a word of English. They yammered away in Italian, always with one of AnneMarie’s aunts in tow to translate. They liked nothing about anything! The two aunts and AnneMarie’s mother tried to take over the operation of the estate’s kitchens, which produced a phenomenal explosion of invective from the reigning chef, a Hungarian who hated all things Italian. Harry’s brother Robert survived the tumult for an entire morning before showing the white feather and decamping for parts unknown. Their mother was forced to fend for herself amid the tumult, spending a considerable amount of time damning her son for causing the problem to begin with.

James and I snickered our way through this tale, much to Harry’s discomfort, and we told him we looked forward to their wedding, when we could meet the entire family, to which Harry groaned and rolled his eyes heavenward.

We arrived at our picnic spot, a secluded glen surrounded by a few old stone fences and lovely chestnut trees. AnneMarie and I directed Harry and James to a lovely spot in the center of the glen, and they spread out a number of blankets and brought forth a pair of large hampers with our luncheon, then James moved the carriage aside and hobbled the horses.

We sank down to the blankets, and Harry opened the first bottle of wine, pouring it into the glasses which James handed around, and offered up a toast, “May you love as long as you live, and live as long as you love!” James and I kissed at this delightful saying and promised to do that very thing. I then took AnneMarie’s glass from her and handed it to Harry, then handed my own to James.

“Why did you do that?” asked AnneMarie.

“Undo my buttons,” I replied, twisting around slightly so that my back was to her.

“Excuse me?” she said, curious.

“We are having a very special picnic, my dear. Since I don’t want to spill anything on this lovely dress, I plan on taking it off, and I suggest you do the same. Afterwards, you and I shall serve as dessert!”

“Outstanding!” cried Harry. “Al fresco and au naturel, all at the same time! What a wonderful idea, Caroline.”

AnneMarie blushed deeply, but she also grinned most wickedly, and moments later I felt her fingers undoing the buttons down the back of my dress. Once she had reached my waist, I pulled it down and pulled my arms from the sleeves, so that I was naked from the waist up, much to the delight of the gentlemen in our party. AnneMarie blushed as I turned to face her, and she stared at me hungrily as well, then it was her turn to twist away, and I undid her dress as well. We both stripped naked, removing our dresses, stockings and shoes, and I was pleased to note that she wore no undergarments either, as she had accommodated Harry’s desires in this regard. James and Harry stared at us quite pleasantly as we tossed our clothing aside, to lounge before their excited gazes in the same apparel that we had entered the world in.

“And afterwards,”, I said, “AnneMarie and I shall see whether we are marrying for income or vigor.”

“What in the world?” asked James with a laugh.

I explained the old boarding school joke to the others, which elicited many laughs, especially from Harry, who pronounced that AnneMarie was able to find both in the same husband, unlike some older individuals he could name. This caused considerable laughter for AnneMarie and I, and James protested in his good-natured way that he too was quite capable of providing all the vigor I could desire.

“And how is your Mrs. Pembleton?” he asked. “Why, we’ve hardly seen her since she arrived!”

I smiled and answered, “She has been sampling some vigor of her own.”

“You mean...?”

“Precisely, darling. When I mentioned our old joke to Siobhan, she suggested that she introduce my former headmistress to Little David, and after I jokingly mentioned it to Mrs. Pembleton, she actually agreed!” I replied. “So, Siobhan brought him to her room that very evening!”

“No! Really? Good Lord above!”

AnneMarie spoke up at this. “Who is Little David?” she asked.

James rolled his eyes and answered, “Well, he’s one of the stable hands, actually. Very nice fellow, good worker, rather short, but he really is not little.” At this he spread his hands far apart, miming the length of Little David’s manhood.

Both AnneMarie and Harry’s eyes widened appreciably at this. I continued, “I’ve only seen it once, and never sampled it.” I smiled at James at this remark. “Excalibur begins weeping whenever Little David comes near.”

“And he is being vigorous with your Mrs. Pembleton?” concluded Harry.

“Very!” I smiled around my mouthful of food. Our conversation had produced a most salutary effect on my companions. Both James and Harry needed to adjust their cocks in their trousers, and AnneMarie’s nips were quite stiff. “Siobhan said that she had spent the evening in the presence of greatness!”

“Darling, you cannot start such a tale without finishing it,” protested James.

“I should so hate to overly excite you, James. I am not sure you could stand the vigor!” This comment elicited considerable and raucous laughter from all present, so I took pity on them and continued my story. “Well, Siobhan invited Little David to her rooms that evening, but greeted him wearing a gown and robe, and took him by the hand and led him to Mrs. Pembleton’s room. She knocked on the door, and upon being invited in, led David inside. He was rather curious but went along with Siobhan’s plans.”