Written in collaboration with Philimus

"Sweet Loretta Modern thought she was a woman, but she was another man." -- The Beatles

The loud music blasted from the surround sound system and pounded in my head, causing it to feel as if it would pop with the echo that was coming from the shrieking scream to the loud bass. I watched as the girls danced slowly on the stage under the color strobe lights, the light playfully danced across their bodies, highlighting their tits, cunts, and asses. Each of the bitches was slowly peeling her clothes to the beat of the music, and my cock was beginning to throb and grow. "Come on bitch," I said under my breath, "I got a dollar and something else for you right here," as I thought of my dick pounding into one of these cunts.

The sweet little blonde came up to me as if on cue, and I slipped the bill under her garter and my finger slid across her cunt. I copped a feel of her moist and hot hole as my finger sank into her up to the second digit and I knew that she was hot and ready for a good fucking. I smiled at her and asked if she would like to go into the backroom for a little bit of fun, just the two of us. Instead of answering me she stood and left without saying a word.

"Yeah, fuck off you stupid cunt, there are more bitches than just you here," I yelled toward her back, but the loud music drowned out my words.

I know one of these stupid bitches will give it up to me before the night is over. Damn, it has been two weeks since I got any. That stupid cunt I had been living with had just packed her bags one day and took off; then filed a restraining order on me. Ha, she would be sorry since she would never have it so good again. Maybe if she came back begging on her hands and knees and kissing my feet I would think of taking her back. But I could care less about her now, all I was thinking was to find some hot wet hole that I could fuck right now!

Now that the girls on the stage had removed all their clothes and shown off their tits and cunts, they started to leave and the next act was getting ready to began. I saw the blonde say something to the new girls as they came out and they all looked toward me. One of the new cunts really stood out, she was black or really brown in color. I don't care much for dark meat myself but something about her caught my attention. She looked toward me and while the other girls seem to stay away, thanks to that blonde cunt no doubt, she came over and started to dance just for me.

As she danced, she looked in my eyes. My cock was screaming for some cunt, even if it was her's. I was about to tell her I didn't want no colored bitch when she unhooked her bra and freed her knockers. They were perfect twin cones. The kind that stick straight out as if defying gravity. My eyes were glued on to her dark nipples. Then she stood over my head and I got a whiff of her sex through her panties. My cock felt as if it would rip right through my pants and bury itself in this black bitch's cunt.

Now she leaned over, her tits just inches from my eyes, and in a thick Caribbean accent asked if I wanted to go to the backroom for some fun.

Like I said before, I didn't normally go for the dark meat, but I was hot and after this cunt had teased my dick I wanted a piece of her. Hell, chocolate pussy is just pussy, right? And after all, I just wanted to fuck it, not take it home.

She came off the stage and took my hand and led me through the crowd. We went through the curtains that said "PRIVATE" and walked down a hallway. I could tell that there were private cubicles on both sides, even in the dim light, but instead of doors there were curtains enclosing them. I heard sounds of moaning coming from several of the closed curtains. I could hardly wait to get me some of that same type of satisfaction from this black cunt.

When we got to one of the open rooms, she led me in. "Mon, you come here often?"

"No, this is the first time here; um, at this club," I quickly added. I didn't want the bitch to think I was a cop out to bust her ass; all I wanted was to cop her ass!

"Mon, it be fifty dollars and a tip for one dance," she informed me. "If you want more dances, we can arrange it."

The way she said "more" left no doubt she was willing to fuck my white pole. I handed her a hundred, "what will it get me?"

"Mon, you be having a right good time, tonight. Now you lie down now and let me take all the troubles away. Empty your pockets and remove your belt first, though," she said as she went to the small table by the wall. I watched as she started to remove her clothes. I couldn't wait. I dropped my pants and went up to her back. I reached around her, cupping her tits in my hands and rubbing my hard cock between the twin globes of her brown ass cheeks.

She jumped and started to protest. I ordered her to shut the fuck up, that she would like it; after all, this is what all stupid cunts wanted in the first place. She turned her body toward me and before I could stop her, I felt her knee coming up between my legs and hitting me.

The room seem to spin around. Then the ache went from my balls and spread to each part of my body. I fell to the floor in unbelievable pain and unable to move. I would have puked right there except it would hurt too much.

Through the pain I heard her speaking to me. "So you think that this be what women like, mon? You don't understand nothing about no women, but you shall. Yes, you shall find out right soon enough. You will know all about what women want and desire."

I couldn't move or speak, I just laid there as she said something else in some strange language that I didn't understand and left. I laid in the darkened room alone for a moment or an hour, I couldn't tell, then I felt myself being lifted up, dragged, and thrown outside. I heard the bouncer say not to come back till I learned how to treat a lady.

I crawled to my car and somehow, with pain racking my body, managed to drive myself home. I went inside and fell onto the bed without changing my clothes. Damn, I still felt sick. Soon I was asleep and the pain seem to be less.

When I woke up, it was still dark but there was a hint of coming light of the dawn. I still felt so strange from last night, I just hoped that the stupid black bitch didn't do no permanent damage to me. Maybe a good piss is what I needed.

I tried to stand but the room was so hazy and my head was spinning and I could hardly walk, but I made my way to the bathroom. I stood in front of the toilet in the gray light of first dawn and unzipped my fly. I reached into pull out my cock, and I couldn't find it. Maybe the bitch had hit me so hard it got knocked up inside me. I'd heard it had happened before.

My hand went looking for it and I felt... "what the hell!" I screamed out.

I dropped my pants as I flipped on the lights, blinding myself for a moment. I tried to look down to my cock but my inflated chest blocked my view.

I must be going mad, I thought, as I looked at myself in the mirror after ripping the rest of my clothes from my body. There, standing in the mirror looking back at me, was some stupid cunt bitch that I had never seen before.

My hands went to where my cock should be but all I felt was hair. Then once again my fingers dared to go just under where my balls should be hanging and I felt the damp moist lips of a pussy. My knees grew weak and I felt as if I was going to faint.

I turned the cold water on in the sink and stuck my head in. I had to wake up from this nightmare. I looked back into the mirror and the same bitch was looking back at me with wet stringy hair and with those two big beautiful tits that I wanted to grab and suck on... what the hell was I thinking?

I couldn't help it; my hands grabbed both of them, feeling the round softness and I felt something strange. I felt pain as I pinched my hard nipples.

Get hold of yourself man, I thought. I almost started to laugh as the meaning of those words came to me. I have to get help. I went to the phone and pulled out the phone book. Then it hit me. Who the hell could I call? And just what could I say? "Hey doc, you have to help me, I went to bed last night with a cock and two balls and woke up with a pussy and two boobs." I could just imagine what he would say to that.

The only thing that they would do would be to lock me away in some padded cell as a nut case. In my panic I forced myself to stop and think. I could be dreaming this. Yeah, that has to be it. I am dreaming this. But how do I wake up? I know, I could walk outside and the shock of being nude in public would wake me. It always works, just before everyone realizes that you are nude, you wake up.

I went to the front door and stepped outside. No sooner was I outside than I heard some child say, "Look mommy, that lady doesn't have on any clothes."

I tried to go back inside, but the door had locked behind me. Now the situation felt real as I banged on the locked door, knowing no one was inside to let me back in.

Between the feelings of embarrassment, confusion, and fear, I realized that I wasn't alone when a blanket went around my shoulders, and I turned and looked at the bitch from next door. I had wanted to get into her pants for the past two years, but I never had gotten even close. She guarded that cunt as if it was made of gold. The last time I had tried to get her to open her legs her husband had made it clear that he would beat the living shit out of me if I so much as looked at her again.

Now here this stupid cunt was placing a blanket around me.

"Are you OK honey? Where are your clothes? You weren't with that jackass in there, were you?"

"My clothes are locked in there," I said as I pointed at the locked door.

"Forget about them then, come on over next door and I can give you something to wear home. I always knew that man was a jerk but I never thought he would throw out someone naked and not give them their clothes back."

I let the cunt take me to her house. She set some water on the stove for some tea and went to get me something to wear. In a few minutes she returned with a handful of clothes. Red panties and a matching bra, a black half skirt and a black tube top.

I started to dress as she started making the tea. As she took down two cups, she asked me what had happened.

How the hell should I know, you stupid cunt, I thought, as I tried to figure out how the hell to put on the damn bra.

"Hon, did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry, what did you say?"

"I said, do you want to talk about what happened last night?"

"Last night?" That is what the fuck I wanted to know; just what the hell did happen to me last night? "I was at a club and felt sick," I said, figuring that there was no need to tell her why or anymore than that. "And I woke up here."

"Why that son of a bitch, I wouldn't put it past him to have slipped you something, then bring you here and take, uh, advantage of you."

What the hell is she talking about? I thought, and then it hit me that she didn't know it was me. She thought that I must have drugged me, then fucked me, or this woman... or whatever, it was just too confusing and strange to try and think. She brought the cups over and set them down. I would have rather had a double bourbon shot than this crap, but I sipped the tea anyway. As she bent over the table I had a good look at her tits. I could have buried my face in those melons and then licked my way down to her cunt. Damn, I would love to get hold of them and fuck that cute little ass. Then it hit me like a bolt of lightning. I couldn't fuck her... I had been castrated!

That black bitch must have followed me home and done a John Wayne Bobbitt on me. Yes, that was it. I would have to go and find that bitch and teach her a lesson.

I was about to excuse myself and go looking for her when I realized that my neighbor was once again talking to me.

"I'm sorry, my mind must be wandering this morning," I told her, since I hadn't heard what she had said again.

"Oh hon, no need for you to apologize. I should be the one to apologize since I should have realized that your head must still be swimming from being drugged by that asshole last night."

She didn't realize how right she was, not about the drugs but about what happened.

"I know what you need, a nice, hot bath; it always makes me feel so much better after a bad night."

Before I could say anything to her, she took off to the bathroom and I heard the sound of water running into a tub. She came back and ushered me in. I saw that the tub was full of bubbles and I smelled a faint odor of fruit in the air.

Before I could object, she started undressing me. Then she ordered me into the tub. The water was warm and felt soft. I hadn't taken a bubble bath since I was five and my father had taken his belt to me saying no son of his would be a sorry faggish fruit. I must say the hot, scented bath and bubbles did feel nice.

But what I thought was really nice was that my neighbor was scrubbing my back with a big, pink, puffy ball-like thing.

"Are you enjoying your bath?"

"Yes, very much."

"Mind if I join you?" she asked, as she stood and removed her own clothes.

"What!" ran through my mind. I would have killed for this yesterday but now the bitch was torturing me with her tits and cunt.

She got into the tub, facing me, and began to wash--not my back but my tits. That sounded so strange to me. Her touch was light and gentle. I had the strangest feelings throughout my body.

"Oh, that feels so nice, I never knew it was this good," I said between deep breaths.

"I always enjoyed a woman's touch myself."

I couldn't believe it, my neighbor was a closet hairpie-eating dyke!

"Why don't you do me now?"

I couldn't believe this. After all the time I had been trying to get into her pants, the very day I lose my cock I get her naked in a tub, I thought, as I took one of her nipples between my thumb and finger and pinched it.

"Hey, don't manhandle them. Do it nice and easy just like you like having your tits touched. I want a woman's feel and touch, not a man's."

"Sorry, it's just that I've never done this before," I quickly got out.

It was the truth. I had never touched another woman as a woman before.

"You've never been with another woman before?"

She seemed astonished by that.

"That means I'm going to get your girl cherry."

Well, I may not be able to fuck the stupid cunt but then she may just satisfy me in other ways. I was always curious just what a couple of dyke bitches did with each other.

She placed her hands to the side of my face and gently placed her lips to mine. I have never before felt such a soft kiss, yet it had more effect on me than any I had had before. The next kiss was just a bit harder yet it also was soft and full of passion. I felt each of her kisses throughout my whole body.

I placed my arms around her and I felt my nipples against her's. I couldn't believe how sensitive they were. Without even being touched down there I felt a tingling between my legs.

I never felt so much before, not even when I would shoot my wad into some faceless slut's cunt or mouth.

"Hon, let's get out of the tub and go to the bed."

I watched as she stood and stepped from the tub. The light reflecting off of the beads of water on her skin looked just like little diamonds. She was just so lovely. I noticed that she was also watching as I stepped from the tub. I wonder if I am as lovely in her eyes as she is in mine.

As I stepped out of the tub, she took the towel and began to wipe the water from my body. The feel of the towel was so much more intense than it had been as a male. She grabbed my hand and led me toward the bedroom.

We entered the darkened room and she once again faced me in the gray light. Our bodies pressed up against each other and she kissed me once more. Her lips were the sweetest that I have ever tasted. Her body was so soft. I felt the strangest feeling between my legs.

I wish I still had my cock. I would throw her onto the bed, spread her legs, and fuck the shit out of her right then. Yes, after I had finished with her,she would never go looking for any more pussy. Nothing would be on her mind but dick.

We fell onto the bed together. Her mouth started to kiss my face, her hands explored my tits. My body felt so alive. Every fiber of my being seemed to be sending me messages.

She moved from my lips to the cheeks of my face. Her lips brushed my cheeks, sending a thrilling feeling through my body. She moved to my neck and began kissing me under the ear. It was incredible! I felt shivers running up and down my body as her tongue lightly flicked the outside of my ear.

I never knew a body could be... so... so alive! It seemed as if every nerve in my body was on overload.

If I still had my cock, I would have rolled her over and rammed it right into her cunt and fucked her silly brains out.

Now, she was starting to work her way down from my ear to nape of my neck. Her hands were all over my body. I was hot and horny and I no longer had a cock so I couldn't fuck?

She started working her way down my neck to the swelling flesh of my boobs. Her mouth sent chill bumps up and down my back. I felt as if her mouth had some electrical charge in it since my whole body was tingling when her tongue flipped across my nipples.

I never realized that a woman's tits had as much feeling as this. I felt her tongue as it flipped over my hard nipples. Each of them erected and it was like I had two little dicks on my chest.

Not only were my tits feeling her kisses but I also felt my clit and pussy becoming alive with feeling. My whole body felt every touch and caress. My new body was more alive than I ever dreamed it could be. Maybe being a bitch did have some advantages after all. As she kissed and licked me, I had a tingling feeling throughout my body that seemed to grow from deep within me and wanted to burst forth like a volcano ready to erupt.

But unlike my male climax, which built then exploded, this was coming in waves, each more intense than the last one, and still she had not gone down onto my hot, wet pussy.

I wondered, if all bitches felt this way, why do so many make such a fuss about giving it up? Hell, they should want to get fucked all the time.

Now her mouth was moving down to my cunt and I thought I would scream like a girl when she placed her mouth onto me. Never had I felt such a feeling with my dick in a woman's mouth. I was lifted from this plane and taken to nirvana. I knew I was having the most incredible orgasm that I have ever had in my life.

When she finished, we kissed, and I could taste myself on her lips. I made a mental note to myself that when I found that black bitch and got my cock back I would return and give her a fucking that she would never forget. We then dozed off to sleep in each other's arms.

When I awoke, I got out of bed without disturbing her, took the clothes that she had given me, and went back to my house. I slipped in a window and, grabbing some money and the car keys, I took off to that damn club. I had an appointment and when I finished I would once again be a man and that black bitch sure would be sorry that she ever fucked around with me.

As I pulled out onto the road, I was thinking about what I planned on doing to that damn black bitch. I failed to pay attention to my speed. I saw the blue and red lights from a police car. Damn, I thought, just what I needed, a fucking speeding ticket.

The cop was one of those throwback types, the kind that would give you no break.

"OK lady, where is the fire?"

I started to say something about the cliche, then thought better of it.

"Let's see your license."

I reached up to the visor where I kept my license and I froze. The name and picture on it was of me as a man. I could have said I was dressed up, but he might have thought I was some kind of fruit.

"Uh, officer. I, um, left it at home. I, um, was just going back to get it."

"Is this your car? I can and will run a check on it."

I couldn't let him do this, it was registered to me as a man. I had to think of something.

"No, this is my husband's car, I am supposed to take it in to have the fuel injector cleaned and new break pads installed and he took my car today."

"You seem to know a lot about cars, for being a woman, step back to my car."

This was an order. Oh shit, I thought, he is going to take me to jail and they won't let me out till they find out who I am.

I went to his car and sat in the back seat, away from the traffic. I will admit I was scared. If he ran a check on me, I would not turn up and I could be sitting in some cell with a bunch of ugly old dykes for a long time. I needed to get out of there and find that black bitch and get her to fix what she did to me.

"OK, I could run that sweet little ass in or you can take care of me."

"What?" I almost shouted.

"You heard me, bitch. You have a choice; give me a blowjob right now or I'll take that sweet little ass to jail."

This asshole wanted me to suck his cock! Hell no, I wasn't going to do that. I'm no fucking fag, I thought.

He unzipped his pants with one hand and held his cuffs with the other.

"Which will it be, bitch?"

No way could I suck another man's dick, but I couldn't go to jail either.

Then for the first time in my life, I touched another man's cock. It was hard with a curve to the left. He placed his large hands on my head, and placed the head of his cock onto my lips.

"Suck it you stupid cunt," he said.

How many times did I say or think that? I wondered.

The head pushed its way past my lips, and I felt sick to the pit of my stomach. I felt like I could throw up at any second as he started to ram the shaft into my mouth. Never had I ever thought of doing this, yet I could not allow him to take me to jail, could I?

I closed my eyes, yet I still heard his sickening sounds as his cock invaded my mouth.

Then something dawned on me. What was I going to do when he came? I again felt a wave of nausea overcoming me.

Then he pulled his cock out of my mouth, pushed me back, grabbed my legs, and pushed my knees to my tits. He placed his hands between my skirt and he grabbed at my cunt. I felt him pushing my panties away, exposing my cunt.

"Damn, bitch, you sure have a fine cunt. I bet that husband of your's fucks it all night long."

Oh shit, I thought, this asshole is going to fuck me.

Then, as strange as it may seem, another thought came to me. As a woman I had yet to place anything inside of me. Oh shit, I was a virgin!

I felt the head of his cock come into contact with the outer edge of my vagina. Then he pushed his hips and the head entered me. I didn't want this to happen. I felt pain as he grunted and forced his way into me.