Chapter 36

The day after the Monday school board meeting, Steve was greeted by everyone in school, most particularly including the students, as the hero he truly was. He claimed to be embarrassed, and threatened all kinds of mayhem if he ever found out how the paper had ever received the story of his award and the picture. Whenever he did it, which, fortunately, came with diminishing frequency, Diane would just carefully straighten the halo over her head. A picture of greater innocence you will never see.

On the other hand, the relationship between Diane and Steve was the strangest I had ever seen. At school, toward Steve she was disdainful — although not nearly as much as before learning of his Oxford doctorate. In the evenings, they dated, going out to dinner, the movies ... almost anything. And every night they would make passionate love!

When I mentioned this to Kris, all she said was, “Darling, you just wouldn’t understand. It’s a girl thing.”

Then, seeing my blood pressure rising, she would dip a finger into her pussy and suck it, then say, “I’m very sweet today, honey. Wouldn’t you like a taste?”

And then I go back to being a quivering blob of jelly.

Whoops! My chronology just got out of whack! Now I have to go back to Christmas vacation.

It was the day after Christmas and we were recovering from the celebration of the day before. It was in our kitchen, and Little Bit and Ann, our two pregnant sisters, were laboring over their college application. Kris had just finished cleaning up after our breakfast when she realized what the girls were doing. “What are you doing that for?” she asked.

“To try to get into Hillsdale College!” Little Bit replied acerbically. It’s fair to say that neither she nor Ann found the application at all amusing.

“Gee,” Kris commented blandly, “there’s a much easier way.”

Both girls had Hillsdale catalogs on the table with them. Kris picked one up, flipped through it and found the telephone number of the main switchboard. Moving the phone into position, she punched in a number. When the phone was answered, she said, “President Arnn, please.”

Obviously, the call was picked up by the president’s secretary. Kris identified herself and said, “I’m calling about a large gift to the school, and would like to speak to Dr. Arnn personally.”

She waited on the phone for a few moments, and then we could hear a man pick up. It was the first occasion for me to use my new ability to hear both sides of a phone conversation, and it was an ability that both Little Bit and Ann had, too. “This is Larry Arnn,” he said.

“Good morning, Dr. Arnn!” Kris said in her most enthusiastic tone of voice. “I’m so happy I was able to reach you. And it gives me an opportunity to beat a very good friend to the punch.”

“My secretary tells me you wanted to speak to me about a large gift... ?”

“That’s correct,” Kris replied. “It would be an immediate all-cash gift of five-hundred million dollars, and I hope you will accept it.”

We all heard choking sounds on the other end of the call. Gee, I thought, I hope he didn’t have a heart attack.

Then in a gasping voice Arnn said, “Did I hear you correctly? Five-hundred million dollars?”

“Yes, that’s the amount,” Kris confirmed. Then she said casually, “I don’t know where the college does its principal banking, so it’s on deposit at Morgan in New York. They’re sending out all the appropriate material — corporate resolution forms, and all that other good stuff — that they need to activate the account. Is that okay?” Then she snapped her fingers and said, “Would you like me to have a senior officer at the bank call you to confirm?”

“That won’t be necessary,” the president gasped. Obviously, he’s a very smart guy. Then he added, “What do we have to do for this money?”

“Nothing, really,” Kris assured him. “It’s already in an account in the College’s name. But I do have a favor to ask...”

“Which is... ?”

“I have younger twin sisters who are sweating over Hillsdale applications right now. I’m wondering if we could short-circuit the normal admissions procedure a bit.” She paused and then added diffidently, “And there are their two fiancés, too...”

Clearly, Arnn was on the horns of a small dilemma. The gift was a multiple of the school’s existing endowment, but having to take four losers to get it... “Could you tell me a bit about your sisters?” he temporized.

“Certainly!” Kris replied enthusiastically. Then she named the girls’ high school and said, “The girls are Ann and Elizabeth Harris, although Elizabeth is universally known as Little Bit. They both scored 1600 on the SATs (the highest score possible at that time), and top scores on their advanced placement tests.” She passed on the list of courses for which they had taken the tests.

“Beyond that,” Kris continued, “Ann is president of the student council and Little Bit is president of the senior class. They’re co-captains of the cheerleading squad and have varsity letters in soccer, swimming and softball. Oh, yeah ... They’re also going to be co-valedictorians at graduation. Do you think you would be interested in their candidacy?”

“Mrs. Harris,” Arnn replied, “your sisters are probably the two top college admissions candidates in the United States today! Brains, athletic ability, and demonstrated leadership. And, since they’re both engaged, would I be correct in assuming they’re physically ... attractive?”

“I can hardly be objective about them,” Kris replied, “but I believe them to be two of the most beautiful young women alive.” She paused and added, “Incidentally, that opinion is shared by Henry Hall who has a bunch of Oscars for hairstyling, and his wife, Penny Watts Hall, who has a bunch for makeup. (Henry and Penny wasted no time getting married, as you can see.) And it’s also shared by the mother of Little Bit’s fiancé.” She paused and then added, “The mother is Kimberly Kramer, of whom you’ve probably heard.”

“The actress?” Arnn replied in awe.

“Yes. The young man is William Bradley Kramer, III, known to all as Tony. He’s the eldest son of Kim and Brad Kramer.”

“My God!” Arnn murmured. “His father won the Medal of Honor, as well as three Oscars. And, I happen to know, he also has a Ph.D. in history, and with it, the top-selling non-fiction of the year when his dissertation was commercially published.” He paused and then continued, “But tell me a bit about Tony.”

“Let me take both young men together. They’re best friends — twin brothers, really — having grown up together literally since birth. The other young man, Ann’s fiancé, is Paul Christian. His father also has a Medal of Honor. Both boys have 1600s on their SATs, too, and are likely to be first and second in their graduating class. I don’t know who will be first, but does that matter a whole lot, Dr. Arnn?” Kris asked innocently.

Arnn just laughed and replied, “Not a bit.”

“Beyond that, though,” Kris continued, “One is president of his senior class and the other is president of the student council, although, again, I can’t remember which is which. They also play football. Tony was team captain and quarterback, while Paul was the H-back, although in the California Division 1 championship game, both boys also played cornerback on defense. They won that game and Tony was voted the game’s MVP. Any interest?”

There was silence on the line for a few moments and then Arnn spoke. “What you’re telling me is that, in return for accepting a gift of half a billion dollars, the college is being required to accept for admission the four finest young people in this year’s high-school graduating class. Is that about it?”

“Sir, I also have a doctorate in history and am getting another in June in political science. Notwithstanding, I’m in no position to claim these four as the very best in the nation, but I can assure you that they’re very good. I’m confident they won’t disgrace their families or the college.”

“Wow!” Arnn breathed softly. “Is there anything else?”

“As a matter of fact, there are a couple of more things,” Kris added. “First,” she said gleefully, “I’m about to steal Ali Clifford’s thunder. You see, sir, I just beat her to it, and I suspect by no more than a few hours. You are about to receive another 500 million from the William Harrison Clifford Foundation. It, too, will be unrestricted money, and will be added to your brand-new Morgan account.” Kris paused for a moment and added, “I really don’t think you’ll want to dawdle too much over the forms, though. You might have a use for some of that money.”

“You mean to say that the college is receiving two gifts today totaling ... one... billion... dollars... !”

“You can use it, can’t you?” Kris asked. “I mean ... for scholarships, and all... ?”

“That, my dear lady, is the understatement of the century!” Then he added, “But you said ‘a couple of more things.’ They are... ?”

“Housing for the kids,” Kris replied briskly. “You see, they’re getting married in June, and the families want them to have a nice place to live. So, if the college could make an appropriate piece of land available, we will build married students’ housing on it. Could you do that? Of course,” Kris added, “we’re paying for the structure, furnishings, and so forth.”

“We own a large piece of land directly across the street from the college’s main building,” Arnn replied. “You can have it.”

“Neat!” Kris exclaimed. “How soon could it be available?” she asked. “You see, PHA Construction will be doing the work. They could have a very large crew on site tomorrow morning to start excavating.”

“You can have it this afternoon.”

“Great! The crew will start work tomorrow!” Kris exclaimed. Then she added, “This brings me to the final element: As you may know, PHA is concentrated on both coasts; they’ve done little work in Middle America. And since they’re going to have a very large crew out there, and the foundation work doesn’t employ that many men, are there any other things they could do while they’re waiting? Like renovating dormitories and classrooms, building labs, adding to the library ... Things like that?”

“You’re not kidding, are you?” Arnn asked softly. “You’re prepared to do all that?”

“Actually, what I guess we would really like would be a Harris something-or-other, and a Kramer something-or-other. (Ali Clifford wanted the Kramer name commemorated as a token of her thanks for all the money the Kramers had made for Alliance Studios and thus for her.) I guess both families just love the idea of having the family names immortalized by being on big buildings on a top campus such as yours.”