Chapter 24

Tony Kramer came stumbling downstairs later, but the tone for the visit had been set. He did spend all his time with Little Bit while Susan spent her time with Kim and Judy and we got to know Kimberly Kramer better. By the time they were ready to leave two days later, Kim and Mother were best friends, with Mom ranking right up there with Jenny Clark and Carol Christian in Kim's estimation.

For her part, Mom was little short of astonished that a truly world-class movie star was now a dear friend.

As they were getting ready to leave, Tony stuttered and stammered and finally managed to ask Little Bit if she could come out to California the following weekend.

"What for?" she asked.

"Uh ... er ... A football game," he blurted.

We were into late November and the local football season had already closed down. The cheerleaders were taking a bit of a break at the time before preparing for the upcoming basketball season.

"Football?" she asked. "Isn't it a little late in the year to still be playing?"

"We're in the state championships," he said, "and the final game is next Saturday. Would you like to come out?"

"It could be a good game," Kim admitted, "but Tony's team is overmatched, I'm afraid." She went on to explain that they were in the Division 1 championships, but his school was the second smallest in the group, and they were playing against the school that was the second largest. The enrollment at the opponent school was almost double that of Tony's.

"Real underdogs... ?" Little Bit murmured.

"I'm afraid so," Tony admitted.

At that point Little Bit looked at me with a question obvious in her eyes.

"No sweat, Sis," I replied to her unasked question. "I'll whistle up a G-5 and you can go out and back over the weekend. You should be back in plenty of time for school on Monday."

She asked Ann to come out with her, but her twin had other plans so she went by herself. Just Little Bit and her laptop. And that proved to be funny.

Little Bit really received a warm welcome in California. The only one who was a bit miffed was Julie Christian who realized that her dreams of a life with Tony were over. Everyone knew that Little Bit was going to marry him ... except Little Bit herself. She kept insisting she was going to be his mistress.

Kim told us that the neatest thing to see was Little Bit with the small Kramer and Christian children. They utterly adored her. Moreover, it was a replay of Kris at Disney World: Even though she was meeting the children for the first time, she just seemed instinctively to know how best to treat each one.

"It was incredibly neat Saturday morning," Kim reported. "We could follow Little Bit around just by sound. There was constant laughter and giggling of the little children ... And oh, by the way, Jenny Clark thinks that your sister walks on water without getting her feet wet. And believe me! Jenny has unerring judgment where people are concerned. As far as anyone knows, she hasn't been wrong yet."

But back to the game. Because of the great difference in the sizes of the two competing schools, the opponents received about two-thirds of the tickets. Tony's school's seats were not the best, either. The Kramers and Christians found themselves seated on the 20-yard line.

The opponents jumped out to a quick 7-0 lead. At that point, Tony's coach put Tony and Paul Christian in the game as cornerbacks on defense. They were playing both ways because both were both big and fast and better suited to cover the opponent's two very fast wide receivers who had been chewing them up. Although they were fast, Tony and Paul were, too. Moreover, at six feet three each, they had about eight inches of height and correspondingly longer arms than the five-foot-seven receivers.

The move worked, but as they started the fourth quarter they were still down by the same seven points. Tony and Paul could move the ball and did, but time after time they were stopped by fumbles, by a blitz taking down the ball carrier in the backfield or by something.

Finally, midway in the fourth quarter, Tony's team punted and the opponents had the ball on their own 25-yard line. As it happened, it was at the end of the field where the Kramers and Christians — and Little Bit — were sitting. On their first play from scrimmage, the quarterback passed in the flat to his running back, but the pass went through his hands. The play was coming to Tony's side of the field.

The running back was disgusted with himself as he threw up his hands and started back toward the huddle. But Little Bit had seen something: When the quarterback released the ball, he was upfield from the 20-yard line. But the running back was behind the line.

Little Bit jumped to her feet and screamed at the top of her lungs, "Lateral!"

Remarkably, Tony heard her. The ball was still lying on the field. An official was nearby, but was making no move to pick up the ball. Tony dashed in, scooped up the ball, and jogged into the end zone. When he crossed the goal line, the official's arms came up signaling a touchdown. The extra point was good and the score was tied at 7 with only a few minutes left in the game.

Because it was the championship game, it couldn't end in a tie. If the score was still tied at the end of regulation, there would be a sudden-death overtime period.

Tony's touchdown really fired up his team. After kicking off, the fired-up defense dropped ball carriers for successive losses, driving them back to their own 5-yard line. At that point, Paul Christian came knifing in on a corner blitz and dropped the quarterback in the end zone for a safety. They were then up by two points, but ... The other team had an excellent field-goal kicker, and a field goal would be three points and a win.

The opponents set up for a free kick from their 20-yard line. Being afraid of the speed they had seen with both Tony and Paul, the kick was intentionally short so that plenty of cover men could get upfield and prevent a long return. At that point things changed suddenly. The short kick came to Tony who waved his arm in the air signaling a fair catch. Although it's almost never done, a team can fair catch a kickoff or, in this case, a free kick following a safety.

Tony happened to be aware of one of the most obscure rules in football: Following a fair catch, the receiving team has the option of taking a free kick from the point at which the ball was caught. Moreover, the ball is not snapped in such a circumstance. It's placed on the ground for kicking at that point, and the defending team must be back 10 yards from it.

That's exactly what Tony did. His fair catch was on the opponent's 40-yard line. With the goal posts set at the back of the end zone, it would be a 50-yard kick. Particularly in high-school football, a 50-yard kick is not a gimme. Tony immediately called a timeout — their last of the game — to talk it over with his coach. After quickly explaining what he had done, the coach just crossed his fingers and told Tony to take the shot.

He did, and just made it. The ball bounced on the crossbar but then fell over for the score.

That was the crusher. The other team was totally disheartened by the series of events beginning with the recovered lateral, then the safety, and finally the field goal that was made after invoking a rule almost no one in the stands — or on the field — was even aware of. The final score was 12-7. Tony and Paul's team were the California state champions!

I don't have to tell you that the Kramers and Christians went utterly wild, beginning when Little Bit first screamed out, "Lateral!"

"Okay, Little Bit," Kimberly declared. "It's all over."

"What's all over?" the girl asked.

"You are marrying Tony Kramer!" Kim declared. Her tone of voice brooked no dissent.

Little Bit's eyes just widened. "But—" she began.

"'But' nothing!" Kim stated. "The subject is now closed. You will have your choice of dates in June, but that's the end of it! Hear?"

"But—"

"Hear?" Kim almost screamed.

"Yes, ma'am," Little Bit replied dejectedly. The issue had been settled.

There was a celebratory barbecue at the Kramer/Christian compound late that afternoon. This time both the senior Kramers and senior Christians along with Jenny Clark just watched Little Bit in increasing amazement as she played with, teased, and fed the little ones.

"That girl is absolutely wonderful!" Jenny declared, settling any issue once and for all. "Never in my life have I seen a woman who is as good with children as she is."

"I have," Kim replied softly. "You. You, Jenny Clark, are a living saint." Then with a grin she asked, "And how's your pussy now, by the way?"

"You couldn't leave it alone, could you, you evil woman?" Jenny replied. With a sniff she continued, "You can see for yourself that I can walk again, and I'm only a little bit bowlegged, too. It's not nearly as bad as the last time." Then with her eyes wide she asked, "Do you think my cunt is finally stretching to fit?"

Kim just shook her head and looked at Brad. "You, sir, have it all! Not only do you have a loving wife to care for you, you have an even more loving stand-in when she's gone."

To this Brad Kramer just murmured contentedly.

By the way, it should be obvious that neither Kris nor I were present for any of this. It was pieced together later with input from all the participants. And it should go without saying that Mother fell in love with Jenny Clark the first instant she laid eyes on the woman. Like Mom and Kim, Jenny was pushing 50 — and might have been on the shady side — but she looked like a fully-ripe 21-year-old. The first time she came out to visit, she and Mom spent almost the entire first 24 hours in bed together... "getting acquainted". Yeah, sure...

One thing about Little Bit: The girl is truly perceptive. She could see that Tony and Paul were getting restive, and it seemed that Paul wanted to talk to her about something, but away from the families.

"Tony, is there anyplace around here for a pizza?" she asked. "I've got a real yen..."

Instantly both young men brightened. Paul responded enthusiastically, and they were off. At the pizza palace, Little Bit looked at Paul and said, "Out with it. What's bugging you?"

Paul almost jumped at Little Bit's words, but then he smiled. "Pretty obvious, isn't it?"

Little Bit just nodded.

"Uh ... I mean ... Little Bit, could... ?"

"The answer is yes," she prompted. "Now what's the question that it's the answer to?"

"Uh ... it's ... it's ... the Christmas prom." His last words came out in a rush.

"And?"

"And I need a date!" he wailed.

"You? Need a date? I don't believe it." Then she shook her head and added, "I retract my answer. Susan is counting on going with you. She was telling me about the dresses she's been looking at, as a matter of fact."

"I can't take her," Paul said sorrowfully.

"Why, on earth, not?"

"Because I'd have to leave home if I did," he explained. "Julie would absolutely kill me. I'm sure you felt the temperature drop about 40 degrees when you were introduced to Julie, didn't you?"

"She seems okay with it now," Little Bit replied hopefully.

"I guess she is," Paul admitted. Then he grinned and added, "Little Bit Harris, you're a very tough girl to dislike. You have absolutely everything!"

"Yeah," she responded sardonically. "Principally a background as a street whore!"