Chapter 110

This time Laura's recovery period, both physically and mentally, was very long. Oddly enough, her asshole recovered first, back to normal in a day or two. Does this mean I'm getting used to being reamed? she wondered.

Her pussy took longer, because of the whip and the harsh rope, but it too felt better in three days. At the end of a week, her breasts were still splotched with yellowing bruises, and her nipples burned and ached constantly. She held them, looked at them in the mirror, rubbed her thumbs gently over her brutalized nipples, wincing even days later. She really did a number on you guys, she said.

Emotionally, it was even worse. She couldn't deny that she had had orgasms of harrowing intensity, painful orgasms, while Karen was assault-raping her. Both the humiliation of it and the fierce, scarifying rapture of it frightened her. She had always understood the appeal of this wild sexual pain to Karen, but she never really experienced its extremity herself until now.

The pain she had suffered in the past at Karen's hand had not exactly been pale compared to this, but it had been less prolonged and less acute. She didn't know whether an immolating, almost suicidal ecstacy such as she had experienced was really worth it. She knew that Karen would not have felt this aftermath, since that was what Karen was after in the first place. But Laura was afraid of it. Maybe it's possible to come too hard, she thought.

Worse, the experience almost overshadowed the beautiful moments they had spent with Chanitra just before it, one of the best sexual events Laura had ever participated in. Thinking of Chanitra made her smile. God, what a beautiful girl, she thought. So free, so uncomplicated, but not wild and dangerous like Kim; just sweet, and exuberant and open.

But the thought of Kim made her think of Trina. The emotional pain of this memory was even worse than the aftermath of her bruising rape. It pierced her heart. God, the look in her eyes when she saw me with Kim! Laura thought. She hated me so deeply.

Laura couldn't help torturing herself yet again by remembering the evening when Trina had inexplicably taken off her blouse and her bra and let Laura caress her phenomenally beautiful naked breasts, and suck her huge soft black nipples. She couldn't help wondering if Kim might not be right. Maybe she was dying for me to lick her pussy and love her, like Kim said. Just afraid. Like everybody. Even me, in the beginning. Afraid to think of herself that way. Wanting that. Oh, Trina!

Laura wondered if she should try Kim's suggestion. After all, Trina's jealousy of Kim, and especially Kim's light skin, certainly complicated things. It wasn't just simple fear of girl-girl sex.

And yet, she had nothing else to try. The longing in the pit of her stomach was frightful, and even more painful than the physical pain left over from being raped by Karen. It took a good ten days for the bruises on her breasts to disappear, and for her nipples to finally feel normal again. She didn't dare have any sex during that time, even though Yvette once, and Sholandra repeatedly, tried to persuade her. Both of them felt rejected and petulant, though Laura tried to gain their sympathy by blaming her reluctance on minor medical problems.

She didn't know Trina's address but did know how to use the reverse phone directories in the library and eventually found it. And so, when she had finally healed, she resolutely drove over to Trina's apartment one evening after work. A little girl, about 6 or 7, answered the door.

Laura smiled at her. "Is your Mommy home?" she asked.

God, this woman I want to fuck so badly is somebody's mommy, she realized. But then, Jonelle, Yvette, and Cecilia were all mommies, and it hadn't stopped them. Laura had even swallowed Cecilia's warm mother's milk, and had it squirted into her face by the giggling beauty.

Trina's little daughter was gorgeous, and it was not lost on Laura that in ten years or so she, Laura, would be dying to take this one to bed, too. She left and returned with Trina, who gave Laura a half-smile, in spite of herself, when she saw who it was.

"I... have something to say," Laura said. "It'll only take a minute."

Trina nodded calmly. "Want to come in?"

"Sure."

"This is my little girl Shawna."

"Hi, Shawna. I'm Laura."

Trina sent Shawna into the living room to watch cartoons and took Laura into the kitchen. She leaned back against the sinkboard, excruciatingly beautiful to Laura, who had touched and kissed her naked body, part of it anyway, and could never forget it. Laura broke down. Everything she had planned to say vanished.

"Oh god..." she stammered. "I came over here to tell you I'm sorry. I know how you must feel. I couldn't help falling for you. But I've... oh, it's all just a lie. I'm crazy about you. That evening when we... I can never forget it. I can't lie to you and tell you I don't care about you."

She began to cry and turned away. Trina watched her.

"You didn't have to come here," Trina murmured. "I know you were telling the truth."

"I did have to come. After the last time we saw each other. It was so awful. That girl... she's just an old friend. It means nothing, really."

"Must mean something. You two were together."

Laura blushed a deep red. She knew lying wouldn't help her. Trina was too smart, too direct.

"She felt bad too," Laura said. "Bad because she thought it hurt you."

Now Trina bristled. Laura had said the wrong thing.

"Hurt me? Why should it hurt me? You don't owe me nothin'."

Laura took a deep breath and wiped away her tears with the back of her hand. Weak, womanly, crying, blubbering. She bit her lower lip and sucked in her stomach.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to be a... bother in your life. I... am crazy about you, though. There. I won't say it any more. Your little girl is darling. I have to leave. I've already screwed up everything I came to say."

Now Trina placed a hand on Laura's arm. "You don't have to apologize to me, hon'," she said, disarmingly warm. "I know how you feel. Like I said, you really crazy about Rina. Lots of people felt that way about her. It's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sorry I ran into you and your friend, too. Thought I embarrassed you or something."

"Oh no. The other way around."

"Sorry I said that about her being high yella. Ain't none of my business who you hang out with."

If you only knew, Laura thought. "For what it's worth," she said, steadily, staring straight into Trina's eyes, "I think you and your color are much more beautiful than she is."

Now it was Trina's turned to be disarmed. She smiled innocently, unable to control it. "Really?"

"Really."

"You do think I'm... beautiful, don't you," she said, unable to believe it.

"I do."

Now there was a deeply uncomfortable moment for both of them. Laura wanted to kiss her. She had no idea what Trina wanted. Trina's eyes burned with happiness, and excitement, and also uneasiness. Laura knew she was very confused, though happy to be admired.

"Well," Trina shrugged, dropping her hand from Laura's arm, making Laura's heart droop. "Everybody likes to be... oh, you know," she giggled softly. "Thank you."

"I have to go," Laura looked at her watch. "I'm interrupting your dinner. And I've already botched this completely."

Trina shook her head but said nothing. Laura had the feeling that she wanted Laura gone too, if only so that she could contain these confused feelings of hers. Trina called Shawna in again, and Laura said goodbye.

"I'm very pleased to have met you, Shawna," she said, kissing her forehead. "I hope I can see you again."

Shawna smiled and showed a fetching gap where one tooth was gone. "Thank you for coming to visit us, Miss Robbins."

Trina touched Laura's hand once more at the door, a gentle, not unfriendly brief touch of closeness, as if she too couldn't resist the need to touch Laura. Laura again looked deep into her eyes. Trina, I had your nipples in my mouth! she said with her eyes. I want you!

"I hope I'll see you," Laura said softly, eyes longing.

Trina nodded and smiled noncommitally. "Maybe."

Driving home, Laura thought, over and over: maybe?

She realized at home that she was impossibly horny. Since the shocking episode with Karen, she had not even thought of sex at all. But just being in the same apartment with Trina had stirred up her emotions crazily, and made her sexual longing worse than ever.

Sholandra, who had phoned every day and visited her often at work, finally growing petulant and nasty from rejection, called and said Rhonda had invited her out, and she was wondering if she should go. She knew how to play Laura's jealousy, and Laura reacted predictably. They spent a night of athletic, exuberant, exhaustive fucking, the kind of night Laura had spent with only a few women. Karen, of course. Brandi. Jonelle. A night of twenty-five plus orgasms, so many you lost count.

By morning Sholandra could barely move, nor could Laura, but they were happy. Sholandra, like Brandi had been, was as pleased as a little girl in her first party dress that she had come so many times. She had not known it was possible. Laura was hoping it would keep her out of Rhonda's bed. She herself could barely stand up, or walk, even though both had to go back to work.

At least this kept Sholandra less demanding for a while. Another week passed, and the ache of her moments with Trina began to subside into a very acute melancholy. Then one weekend evening, Trina phoned her.

"Just wanted to talk a little," she said.

"Really?" Laura asked, unbelieving, not letting herself get her hopes up.

"Shawna is away with her daddy, and I got lonesome. I got friends, but I didn't want to talk to them."

"I'm always available," Laura nearly bubbled over.

"You want to come over here?" Trina asked. "You could. You could stop and buy some popcorn. There's a good movie on the cable. 'Serpico'. You ever see that?"

"No," Laura said, heart aflutter. She's inviting me over for popcorn and a movie! "Do you like buttered or unbuttered?" she asked.

Trina giggled. "Oh, butter. I love butter. Even though it's fattening."

"I love it too. I'll be there in twenty minutes."

"Okay."

Laura did everything in her power not to get her hopes up. She bought a bottle of fairly expensive wine along with the popcorn, but she resolutely refused to imagine them drinking it and warming up again to each other. She refused to think of Trina's physical beauty, and the fact that they would be alone, completely alone, together, for hours.

I mean, we're not children, she thought. We know what happened last time. It happened. It stopped prematurely, but it did happen.

She forced herself not to think of it while she drove. It was a hot night, and Trina met her at the door in very short cutoffs and a red midriff top, reminding Laura briefly of Chanitra. Trina was exquisitely gorgeous. Her legs were long and beautiful, though not willowy like Yvette's. Instead they were muscular and shapely, more like Brandi's though not as short, or bunched with muscle, just sleek and beautifully formed. Laura tried not to stare, either at Trina's legs, or her smooth black midriff.

She wore this to torment me, Laura thought, trying hard to dismiss the idea. My god, how can this gorgeous young woman be sitting home alone on a Saturday night, calling me to come over and share it with her? I can't believe it. How come every man in the city isn't trying to get into her pants?

"Hi," she said brightly, trying to seem innocent. "God, you look so shockingly gorgeous."

She swept her eyes up and down Trina, then looked away so as to appear completely casual.

"Hi," Trina grinned, letting her in. "There you go again with the flattery. You making me blush."

"It's all true," Laura said. "You must know it's true."

Trina shrugged it off. "Anybody ever tell you you look like that model you see in all the magazines?" she asked, squinting at Laura. "The really stunning one with all the hair? And I've seen her too in the Victoria's Secret catalogue."

"Stephanie Seymour. Yes, everybody. Talk about flattery."

"You do look like her."

"Thanks."

They popped the popcorn and settled in on the sofa to watch the movie.

"Want to open the wine?" Laura asked her.

"If we drink it now, I'll just get sleepy," Trina said. "Let's wait."

They watched 'Serpico, ' and Laura tried to keep her eyes from straying to Trina's bare midriff, so taut and flat and beautifully smooth and dark black. What her lower belly might look like, Laura didn't know, but Trina's peerless midriff showed no signs of the aftermath of childbirth. They sat at opposite ends of the sofa, with the popcorn between them. 'Serpico' was okay but a little boring, and occasionally each one caught the other's eye but then quickly looked away.

We are going to fuck, Laura suddenly realized. It's only a matter of how we get there. That's why she invited me here.

On the other hand, she reminded herself to be very cautious, after last time. It was always possible that she was mistaken, and that Trina had, with complete innocence, just asked her over to watch the movie.

After about an hour, Laura realized that it would be her duty to push them beyond this point. Trina had done her part by getting them together. But she had no experience, and a lot of fear, in getting beyond this moment.

So, during a commercial, Laura said, "How do you feel about a glass of wine?"

Trina smiled, eyes shining. "I guess I could drink one now," she said.

"You stay put," Laura said, getting up. "I'll bring the bottle and some glasses."

But Trina followed her into the kitchen. She got the glasses herself while Laura opened the wine bottle. The kitchen was a small room, and there was no way they could avoid coming close, face to face. God, kitchens again! Laura thought. Rina and Trina, and me in the kitchen, wanting them desperately.

"You know," Trina said softly, "I appreciated you coming over here the other night. I know it wasn't easy for you."

"Oh... easy," Laura giggled self-consciously.

But Trina preferred to remain serious. "I know you were trying to be honest."

She set the glasses on the tile sinkboard, next to the wine bottle. Her eyes were shining again. Laura had not seen her this calm and open and receptive. She reached up one finger and ran it along Trina's jaw to her chin, then traced it around the girl's full, sensual lips.

As if to emphasize her willingness, Trina took a small, silent step forward, bringing her face closer to Laura's. Laura let her fingertip caress the infinite softness of Trina's cheek. Their mouths came together without effort. They kissed without touching, their mouths doing all the work, curving together, moving, searching.

When their tongues coiled together, they finally embraced, and Laura's hands went directly to the smooth, warm skin of Trina's waist. After a few moments, Trina's rose to Laura's shirt front and began to unbutton it. Laura was thrilled and shocked. A sharp excited shiver went through her body as Trina kissed her neck.

Trina kissed her ear. "This time I get to be first," she whispered.

Trina kissed her again as she slowly undid the buttons. Laura wore jeans and a white man's dress shirt and no belt. The shirttails easily came out of the jeans as Trina tugged them. Her lips were already deep in Laura's cleavage as she unfastened the last button at the bottom.

Laura had worn a wildly sexy black lacy bra with a deep plunge in the center, and Trina was dazzled.

"You sure you ain't Stephanie?" she murmured teasingly, kissing the exposed tops of Laura's breasts. "I never seen a bra like this one. Does it come loose here?"

She pointed to the small clasp between the cups.

"Yes," Laura breathed, so excited she could barely speak.

Trina unfastened Laura's bra and pulled away the cups. She cupped Laura's naked breasts in both hands and lowered her mouth to them. Trina had clearly never done this before, but after a few tentative licks she began to suck Laura's nipples and squeeze her breasts with a slow, thrilling sensuality.

Laura almost came. A sharp, uncontrollable quiver shook her body.

"Ohhhhh!" she sighed, unable to stop herself.

"Gosh, girl, you're getting hot," Trina murmured, kissing her throat, her neck, her lips again, very tenderly.

"I almost came," Laura confessed.

Trina still held Laura's breasts in her hands while they kissed, rubbing the wet nipples with her palms. "They're really sensitive, aren't they," she whispered. "Mine were that way before Shawna."

Laura's hands were under Trina's midriff top now. She pushed it up over Trina's bra.

"You want to go into my bedroom?" Trina suggested.

"No," Laura giggled. "I love the kitchen. You and I could start a fire in here."