Peter, a psychology student at a major metropolitan university, was warned to find another roommate when he was looking for a place to live during his time at university,

He was warned that Edna was a bit unusual, a little extreme and definitely eccentric,

The more unkind said she was ‘cuckoo for cocoa puffs’,

But the room she was advertising was the only one Peter could afford so he had no choice but to take it.

But after a few months, he was happy to say it was a pleasure to be her roommate,

Not to say the warnings he received weren’t accurate, she was indeed very odd, at least once a week he would come home to find the medical science student involved in some bizarre new experiment in their living room, whether it be the time she wore a pair of glasses that gave her a third person view of herself for three days or filled every room of the house with potted fungus to study the health benefits.

Peter, however, saw nothing wrong with this, and that aside from her overly curious mind she was a model roommate, he even went as far as to help her with some of her experiments, letting himself get infected with head lice so she could observe the effects first hand or even that time they ate cockroach flour for a week, he had limits of course, no matter how many times she asked him there was no way in hell that he was going to let her drink his blood.

So as he walked up to their apartment door on a Friday he began to theorize what new scheme she would have cooked up to keep her occupied over the weekend, perhaps he would come home to find out she had submerged herself in a tank of water and planned to stay there for the next forty-eight hours hooked up to a breathing tube and an IV drip,

Maybe she just wanted him to binge ‘Bones’ with her,

Hey, even Odd Edna could be normal once in a blue moon,

‘I shouldn’t call her that’ he thought to himself with a twinge of guilt,

He knew how much she hated that nickname, how much it tore her apart to overhear it being used at a party as she tested her formula to identify the percentage of alcohol in a cup of punch,

She didn’t like being seen as odd, but when you’re as insatiably curious as Edna was it couldn’t be helped.

He walked through his front door cautiously, scanning the room for trip wires, large equipment or anything hanging from the ceiling,

The room was exactly how he had left it this morning, up to and including the half-full cup of coffee Edna left on the counter this morning, turning unappetizingly cold in the air-conditioned room.

This scared him,

Edna always had something going on on Fridays,

Which meant whatever she had planned she was still preparing for,

Which meant it was big.

Peter walked over to the fridge and pulled out a beer, sighing as he twisted off the cap and took a sip, mentally preparing for whatever Edna had planned.

The answer came a few minutes later when she burst through the front door with a pair of large black cases, one under each arm,

“Can you give me a hand here?” She requested as blew a few loose strands of brown hair out of her round pretty spectacled face,

“What even is this?” Peter asked as he set down his drink and took the cases from her,

Edna looked annoyed seeing how light he made the cases look as he placed them both down on the kitchen counter,

“Vital sign monitor,” she answered, pointing to one case as she kicked off her shoes, “And the other has a blood collection kit and various other instruments,”

“Edna, I’ve told you for the last time,” Peter groaned, “I’m not letting you drink my blood,”

“That was last month’s project,” Edna said, “It was a flawed experiment anyway, this is a whole new endeavour,”

“Thank god,” Peter sighed as he picked his drink back up, “Why do you need another VS monitor anyway, we already have one, you keep it next to the goddamn TV,”

“I need two,” Edna explained as she opened the case containing the blood collection kit, “One for both of us, I’d prefer to do this simultaneously,”

“This should be good,” Peter mumbled to himself, “We can’t just take turns on the one we have?”

“I want to record both of our vitals simultaneously,” she explained, being unusually vague and closed off for a girl who was so insistent on specifics,

“If you say so,” Peter shrugged, “So what’s the experiment?”

“Might be my greatest one of all,” Edna said proudly, pulling out a vial of clear, high-viscosity liquid, “Check that out,”

“What is it?” Peter asked, holding the container up to the light,

“Human Sebum,” she said excitedly,

“What are you doing with the oil off someone’s skin?” He asked,

“Not just any skin oil,” Edna bragged, “These come off a nudie they’re doing a study on at the university,”

“What the hell!” Peter explained, immediately putting it back in the case and washing his hands in the sink, “Warn a guy next time you hand him a vial of The Spell,”

“It’s labelled as a biohazard,” Edna said innocently,

There was a mad dash in the scientific community after the Spell first appeared on a Mexican beach barely a month ago with the governments of the world desperate to find some sort of treatment as the infection numbers multiplied daily, sending a good chunk of resources toward the major American university’s, such as the very institution Edna and Peter attended,

“Yeah, so is a jar of urine,” Peter explained, drying his hands, “But that’s not the transmission vector for permanent nudity, what on earth are you even doing with that stuff? How’d they even let you take it out of the lab?”

“I stole it,” Edna explained, “No one’s going to miss it, It’s for my experiment, you see it’s very simple, first we hook ourselves up to the VS monitor, then we dab the Sebum on our skin, then we-,”

“Excuse me, what?” Peter interrupted, “You want to put it on our skin?”

“Just a drop should be enough,” Edna assured him,

“You want to infect us both with the Spell, what cause you’re bored?” Peter demanded, almost laughing at the idea,

“No one’s ever been able to observe the infection and gestation process like this before,” Edna explained, “Apparently they’ve had an issue finding volunteers,”

“Oh, I can’t imagine why,” Peter said sarcastically,

“This is why this is such a great opportunity,” Edna continued, her excitement evident on her face, “We don’t need volunteers, we have a healthy male and female subject right here, we could make history!”

“Edna,” Peter began trying to keep his voice calm, “I’ve gone along with a lot of your frankly crazy ideas before, the head lice, the cockroaches, hell I let you shoot me with a taser that one time,”

“And I appreciate that,” Edna said,

“But this, this is too much,” He continued, “You’re asking me to completely uproot my life, socially ostracize myself so you can get your name on a journal slightly before the other guys? No, I’m drawing the line here, congrats you made the blood thing look reasonable,”

Edna fell silent, she glanced over at the cases on the counter,

“If you’ll excuse me,” Peter sighed, “I have to get ready for my date,”

Without another word, he walked out of the kitchen and headed toward his bedroom.

“I hear the chicken park is good,” Tiffany, Peter’s girlfriend of the last two months commented as they both analyzed their menus carefully, “Apparently Emilio brought Maria here the other day...”

She continued to talk as Peter’s mind trailed off elsewhere, specifically back to Edna’s absurd idea,

Did he play along too much to her other crazy ideas, did he put her in a position where she felt too comfortable escalating things to such an extreme, not to mention permanent, degree,

What was next? Cutting off an arm to observe phantom limb syndrome, injecting herself with specific cocktails of drugs to illicit certain reactions, all the while trying to rope him in as her accomplice,

“Um...” Tiffany said, waving her hands to grab his attention, “Peter, are you listening to me?”

“What? Oh, uh yeah,” He said, snapping back to attention, “In my own head for a second there,”

“School thing?” she asked, trying to make conversation,

“Ah, no, more a personal thing,” Peter explained,

“Oh,” Tiffany said, her cheering attitude disappearing in an instant, “What did Odd Edna do now?”

“Don’t call her that,” Peter insisted, “And it’s nothing, she just cooked up another scheme that’s all,”

“What now?” Tiffany asked, “She gonna drill a hole in her head?”

“I wish,” Peter chuckled,

“So what’s she going to do?” Tiffany asked,

Peter paused for a moment as he considered whether or not to tell her,

“She wants to infect herself with the Spell,” He explained, deciding honesty should be the best policy when it came to his girlfriend,

He laughed awkwardly as Tiffany’s face became dead serious,

“You cannot be serious,” she said in disbelief,

Judging by her tone Peter figured he made a mistake telling her,

“Just when I thought Odd Edna couldn’t get any odder,” Tiffany began,

“Don’t call her that,” Peter meekly requested,

“She goes and pulls something like this,” she continued despite his request, “I’m surprised she didn’t ask you to do it with her,”

Peter fell silent and looked down at his hands,

“Oh my god,” Tiffany realized, “She totally did, she asked you to get infected with her, I can’t believe it,”

“I’m not going to do it,” Peter assured her,

“You so sure about that?” Tiffany asked, her voice becoming louder and drawing attention to their argument, “You let her do whatever else she wants to you, shave your head, change your diet, is this really a step too far for you two?”

“Tiff, calm down,” Peter begged as more and more eyes turned to them,

“Do you even know what you’re doing to yourself by hanging out with her?” Tiffany continued, “People talk Peter, they noticed how much time you spend together and people talk, doesn’t help that it’s clear to everyone she’s in love with you,”

“She is not in love with me,” Peter rejected, laughing at the idea, “We’re roommates, friends,”

“Peter she’s asking you to get naked with her,” Tiffany argued,

“It’s purely scientific,” Peter explained,

“You know they have a nickname for you now right?” Tiffany said, “They’ve been calling you Freaky Pete, do you know how hard it’s been for me? To be playing the third wheel to Freaky Pete and Odd Edna?”

“I said don’t call her that!” Peter snapped a little harder than he meant to, the restaurant fell silent,

“You know what?” Tiffany said after a beat, standing up out of her chair and throwing her jacket over her shoulders, “This is done, we’re done, I hope you and Edna are happy together,”

“Tiffany, wait!” Peter called out as she stormed out of the restaurant.

As he rode the bus home dejected he decided to flip through Instagram just to keep his mind occupied elsewhere,

This was definitely a mistake as the first thing he saw in his feed was a post from Tiffany making out with a guy from their school’s football team at a party across town time stamped to fifteen minutes ago,

‘That was fast,’ he thought to himself, trying not to do the math in his head of how quickly she moved on,

Luckily the bus stopped in front of his building before he could properly dwell on it,

He breathed a sigh of relief as he stood up but his heart immediately stopped when he thought overheard someone say ‘Freaky Pete’,

He turned his head towards where he thought he heard it and found a pair of girls from his school gossiping with each other at the back of the bus, both turning away from him as they noticed him staring,

He growled to himself as he stepped off the bus and entered the building,

As he stepped onto the elevator he began to consider his situation,

As if being dumped wasn’t bad enough the discovery that he was in the same social standing as Edna really threw him for a loop,

What would he do about it, what could he do about it?

He supposed moving out was an option, find a new place and do everything possible to socially disinfect himself from her,

But he knew that was wrong,

It wasn’t Edna’s fault what the world thought of her, they only got to see her unnervingly brilliant side,

Being her roommate he got to know her better than anyone and found her to be funny, witty and exceedingly kind,

A person that nice doesn’t deserve to be ditched by the one person she can comfortably call a friend,

But most importantly of all he just didn’t want to, he liked Edna, he liked spending time with her, and he liked having her as his friend, his best friend truthfully.

These thoughts bounced around in his head as he walked into their apartment and found her curled up on the couch reading on her tablet,

“You’re home early,” She observed, smiling as she saw him, “Good date?”

“We broke up,” Peter admitted, hanging up his jacket as he locked the door behind him,

“What?” Edna asked putting down her tablet, “Why?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Peter said as he flopped down on the couch and took his head in his hands,

“Hey look Peter,” Edna began, “I wanted to talk about earlier today,”

“Edna...” he sighed,

“No, listen,” She insisted, “I understand I made you uncomfortable, I don’t want that, this is your home as much as mine and you deserve to feel comfortable here, I made that more difficult, and for that I’m sorry,”

He looked at her for a moment, looking into the piercing blue eyes surrounded by thick frames he had always admired for their ability to see opportunities and aspects of the universe no one else could to the point of alienation,

“I’ll do it,” he said before he could stop himself,

“Excuse me?” Edna asked in confusion, a feeling that was quite unusual for her to experience,

“Your Spell experiment,” he clarified, “I’m in, that is if you still want to do it,”

Edna was taken aback for a moment,

“Yes,” she finally said, breaking into the same grin she always did when he agreed to help her, “Absolutely, yes!”

She leapt off the couch and walked over to the counter, opening the two cases and beginning to set up,

Peter watched her set up both vital monitors on the coffee table in front of him as he thought about what he just agreed to and more surprisingly how he didn’t feel the constant need to back out as he watched her work with great excitement,

“You really will see Peter,” She assured him as he gave her his arm to allow her to gain a small sample of his blood pre-infection and proceeded to help her take a sample from herself, which she immediately labelled with the date and time and stored in the fridge, “This experiment with be instrumental in learning what the Spell is, and otherwise a huge leap for possible medical advancement,”

She carefully placed the vial between the two machines as she powered them on and began to set up her laptop,

“I hope you don’t mind but I want to take a video recording of the initial infection and gestation process if that’s fine with you,” Edna explained,

“Why not,” Peter sighed, “So should we...”

He pulled on his shirt collar to make his point,

“Actually,” she explained, “I wanted to observe how the body reacts during the initial dissolving process, do you have a set of clothes you perhaps don’t mind saying goodbye to?”

“Does it matter?” He asked, “It’s all going in the garbage anyway,”

“Fair enough,” she shrugged, “But I am going to need you to take off your shirt so I can put the sensors on you,”

“And so it begins,” he mumbled as he stood up and unbuttoned his shirt, tossing it to the far end of the couch as Edna got the sensors ready,

She hesitated upon seeing his bare chest but soon composed herself and began to attach the sensors, telling him to sit back down as she pulled off her own shirt,

He found a rather interesting cobweb in the corner of the room as Edna began sticking sensors over her bra-clad chest,

Edna had always dressed rather modestly in baggy clothes that hid her figure, perhaps if people knew what she was hiding she would’ve been more popular, Peter always knew Edna could’ve been attractive if she were to try even the finest bit but he never could’ve imagined how spectacular she looked in her just bra, he immediately grew excited by the thought that he would see her naked in a few moments, he soon groaned internally after realizing that if he was already getting excited by even the slightest hint of her form there was no way he would be able to get through the next few days without somehow humiliating himself.

“All righty,” she said, sitting down across from him, “No time like the present,”

She reached over and hit record on her laptop,

“Hello My name is Edna Smith,” she said to the camera, “This is my friend, Peter Morgan, today we will be documenting the infection process of the Spell on male and female subjects, both subjects are twenty-one years of age,”

She reached down and picked up the vial, pulling off the lid and dipping in a Q tip,

“Are you ready?” She asked, holding out it expectantly,

Recognizing this as his last chance to back out he held out his arm, allowing her to dab the q tip on his wrist before immediately doing the same to her own,

“Both subjects are now infected with the spell,” she said, smiling at Peter and at the camera, “Now we wait for gestation to complete,”

Edna casually put down the vial and picked her tablet back up, continuing where she was reading as if she had not just infected herself with the spell,

Waiting was the worst part for Peter, his skin became hypersensitive as he waited for the slightest hint of popping stitches, tearing fabric or holes forming,

His breath caught in his throat as he felt threads begin to fray around his ankles,

“What are you reading?” Peter asked, trying to distract himself,

“Batman and Robin,” she answered, “Halfway through the 2009 Grant Morrison run,”

“Nice, nice,” Peter nodded, noticing a hole steadily growing larger and larger on Edna’s knee,

“I have a related question,” she said, engaging in their usual comic book small talk like nothing was happening, “In the DC universe what does the general public perceive Robin as?”

“In what sense?” Peter asked,

“Like how do they think his situation with Batman started?” she clarified, most of her leg now exposed to him as he felt the waistband of his underwear come apart and lose all tension, “Do they think Batman kidnapped him, are they father and son? Are they aware there’s been up to four of him and he hasn’t just been stuck at ten years old for twenty years?”

“Regardless of any of that CPS definitely has a file on him,” Peter commented,

“Oh, most definitely,” Edna laughed, seemingly oblivious to how loosely her bra was beginning to hang off her, giving Peter the ever so smallest peek at her wonderfully perky grapefruit-sized breasts and perfect little nipples,

As you may expect it didn’t take long for Peter to begin popping an erection, and with the weakened condition of his clothes it began tearing through the fabric, Peter casually crossed his legs and covered himself with his hands,

Edna was now topless as she continued to read, tossing her bra to the side as it fell off her shoulders without ever taking her eyes off her reading, not long after the final shreds of both of their pants fell off their thighs,

Peter wasn’t sure if Edna went into this forgoing panties or if they just dissolved before her pants did but a little brown bush poked out at the far end of the canyon that was made as she pressed her thighs together,

Edna, his roommate of seven months was now completely naked in front of him and save for his rather persistent thick leather belt, so was Peter,

“Should we wait or should I just toss the belt?” Peter asked,

Edna looked up from her tablet at him and her eyes grew wide, she then looked down at herself.

“That was fast,” she remarked, standing up and brushing any remaining threads and sensors off of her,

Peter groaned internally as she ran her open palm over her breasts and butt, giggling them slightly,

It occurred to him that if girls like Tiffany knew what Edna looked like now they would hate her for a whole new, more envious, reason,

“You can lose the belt,” she said, “Gestation should be all done by now,”

As Peter unhooked his belt Edna walked over to her blood collection kit, hitting stop on the recording as she passed her laptop,

“How are you feeling?” She asked as she pulled out a fresh syringe,

“Fine I guess,” he said keeping his legs crossed as his eyes were glued to her heart-shaped backside, “A little warm,”

As she walked back over she checked his vital monitor,

“You are running a little hot, and your heart rate accelerated,” she observed before leaning over and checking her own monitor, “Ooh, so did mine,”

As she leaned over she stuck the ass he had been so distracted by right in his face, to be a gentleman he looked away,

“Oh, sorry,” she chuckled, realizing what she had done and turning back to face him, “Let’s get these blood samples and call it a night,”

He held out his arm once again as Edna leaned over to take his blood, her breasts hanging off her chest with the gentlest sway,

“All right, my turn,” she said, sitting down, holding out her left arm and looking to her right,

Thankfully her uncomfortableness with needles allowed him some privacy as he temporarily took his hands off of his crotch to quickly acquire a sample,

“All done,” he said, quickly putting down the syringe and covering himself back up before she could look at him,

“Awesome!” She cheered, standing up and quickly labelling the second pair of vials, putting them next to the first pair in the fridge, “Now according to the limited research that has been done, we can expect a few symptoms, itching is not uncommon, neither is the temperature spike we recorded on the vital monitors, some drowsiness happens in some cases, and there are some reports of people having heightened libidos for a little while afterwards,”

“You don’t say?” Peter mumbled as he stood up from his seat, his erection having relaxed enough that he was confident he could walk across the room without poking her eye out,

“Pardon me?” Edna asked,

“I’m gonna go hit the hay,” he corrected, quickly pacing towards the other side of the apartment where their bedrooms were,

“Oh, okay!” She said cheerfully, “Sleep tight, we’ll take another blood sample in the morning, thanks for your help tonight!”

He finally felt comfortable enough to stop covering himself as he closed his bedroom door concluding perhaps the strangest night of his life,

His break up with Tiffany felt like it happened years ago after the psychological ordeal he just gone through,

All he wanted to do was sleep but thanks to either the effects of the spell or the enticing surprise of how good Edna looked nude his arousal wouldn’t let him,

He just couldn’t get her out of his mind, instinctively he reached down to fix the problem but stopped himself before he could make any progress,

Edna was his friend, his completely platonic friend, how degenerate did he have to be to rub one out to her?

To try to rectify the problem he pulled out his phone and began searching for other images of women that might take his attention elsewhere,

None of these lifeless two-dimensional images could compete with the idea of one of the most attractive bodies he had ever seen, either in person or online, within his reach a few feet beyond his wooden bedroom door,

He stared up at the ceiling trying his best to count fully clothed sheep as the hours dwindled by.

Peter did manage to eventually get some sleep, only to be violently awoken by the sudden sound of Edna shouting “Shit!” Before glass shatters,

His mind instantly flashed back to two months ago when he woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom when he found a burglar in their living room trying to make off with the rather expensive vital monitor they kept there, he managed to chase him off but what if he came back to finish the job, only to find Edna now nude and defenceless in the kitchen,

Immediately leaping into action he pulled a baseball bat from his closet and stormed out the closet, immediately charging into the living room prepared to strike ... breakfast?

“Edna?” He called out, looking behind the large collection of dishes that had formed on the counter, “You okay?”

“Yeah,” She called out from behind the counter, popping her head out with a broom and dustpan in hand, her breasts bouncing with the quick movement, “I broke a plate,”

“What are you doing?” He asked,

“What’s with the bat?” She responded in kind,

“I thought that moron in the ski mask came back,” he explained, now feeling very foolish as he put the weapon down by the coat rack, “What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m making breakfast,” she said proudly,

“It takes all this to butter a bagel?” Peter chuckled, sitting down on the opposite side of the counter as she worked,

He enjoyed watching her nakedness bounce around the kitchen as she quickly loaded the dishwasher, his erection surging back to life as she bent over,

“It’s not just for me,” she smiled, opening a waffle iron, “I realized my thank you last night might’ve been insufficient, so I made you your favourite breakfast,”

She placed three of the six waffles on a plate in front of him and the other three in front of herself, they seemed to be a little burnt but he didn’t care,

“Oh thank god, I’m starving,” he remarked as he began to scarf them down ravenously,

“So am I” She concurred, “I went through a box of pop tarts before this, previous studies said subjects reported after the fact being exceptionally hungry after being infected, that seems to be accurate, speaking of which...”

She pulled out a pen and paper as she continued eating, he could see a list running down the left side of the paper,

“Any changes you’ve noticed since yesterday?” Edna asked, “Or rather just, how are you feeling?”

“Other than hungry?” He said, thinking for a moment, “Well actually, better than in a long time,”

“Anything else?” She asked, beginning a list on the right side of the page,

“Not really?” He shrugged,

“I’m just gonna run down my list then,” she said, “Do you feel it’s easier to breathe?”

“Kinda,”

“Less fog on the brain?”

“Now that you mention it,”

“Heighten libido?”

“I...” Peter hesitated,

“No need to feel uncomfortable,” she assured him, “I need an honest answer for the study,”

“Yes,” he sighed,

“Okay,” she said, smiling ever so slightly, “Were you sweating during the night? I expect given your body odour...”

“I guess so,” he said, quickly smelling under his arm, “And for the record, you’re no fresh daisy yourself, alright,”

“Fair enough,” she said, quickly sniffing herself, the slightest sheen of sweat against the underside of her breast catching the sunlight coming in through the window, “How about we quickly collect another blood sample and you can go grab the first shower?”

“Good idea,” he nodded as she pulled out another pair of syringes, the two had become experts at drawing each other’s blood by now so it went by quickly and painlessly,

Allowing Peter, much like last night, to escape to the other side of the apartment.

He prayed the cold water of the shower would save him, but unluckily for him and in turn luckily for Edna, he made a scientific discovery, no matter how much he turned the taps he couldn’t get it to the point where it was cold enough to distract him, he still felt the cold, in its current setting he would normally be turning blue right about now, but for some reason, likely the Spell, it didn’t seem to bother him in the same way.

Peter sighed and rested his head against the wall, he had no other choice, cold water didn’t work, Internet porn didn’t work, and if he didn’t want to traumatize Edna he would have to jerk off to her,

With righteous indignation he reached down and began getting to work, imagining every inch and curve of her sumptuous body, the bounce of her breasts, the wave of her behind, the folds of her-,

He was pulled out of his trance by the sound of the door opening,

“Hello?” He called out, his voice cracking in surprise,

“Don’t mind me,” Edna called out, “Apparently accelerated digestion is one of the side effects,”

His eyes bulged as he heard the toilet seat go down,

“How’d you like breakfast?” She asked,

“Really?” He questioned, “You’re asking me this now, with me in here and you ... doing that?”