"I'm your husband, not your nephew."

"Government rules against nepotism still apply. Anyway that is the least of the ... Ow!"

"Sorry. I'll go slower."

"Cabinet Secretaries don't have personal hairdressers traveling with them. At least not at government expense. They aren't going to spring for one for a bank examiner."

"Cabinet secretaries don't have gorgeous auburn tresses that they can sit on. Your hair deserves full-time care."

"I'd love to have you traveling with me, too; but think of all those kids who need to learn geology."

"Kids take Freshman geology because they don't want to dissect, so biology is out; they don't like the smells, so chemistry is out; they don't know calculus, so physics is out. But you can't understand geology without chemistry and physics, so actually learning geology is out. The administration is just too gutless to admit that they are giving BAs to people who will spend most of their lives in the twenty-first century but will be totally ignorant of elementary science."

"Drop that brush! Drop that comb!"

"Huh?"

"I'm not letting you handle my hair while you talk about the college administration. You pull too hard when you're angry."