Chapter 1

June 1982: Yellow Oaks, Virginia

It seemed like the day would never arrive when I'd be free of high school, but arrive it did. My parents, always eager for a party, threw a huge bash to celebrate. Most of my family was there plus my friends and friends of my parents. I was glowing all day from the attention heaped on me and the promise of things to come.

The party was actually a double one - my cousin Robert is the same age as me and he was also graduating. He is my first cousin on my father's side and our families were close. We spent most holidays together and other events. Robert was like a brother to me, especially since I was an only child. Since we were kids we were very close and I always enjoyed being around him. However, in the last few years we didn't see each other as much as we were always busy with our own friends.

We lived an affluent life in the suburbs of Alexandria, Virginia. Our fathers were brothers and both had good government jobs. Neither of our mothers worked and generally life was pretty good.

That day we were enjoying each other's company. I couldn't help but admire his good looks. He wasn't that tall, but he was built and I could tell he had been lifting weights. His shoulder-length blond hair was feathered back and it gleamed in the afternoon sun. He already had a great tan even though summer hadn't kicked into full gear. More than once my friends asked me about him and if he had a girlfriend. I suspected he did, but he was on the quiet side and didn't volunteer such information.

As the day slid into evening everyone was getting a little drunk. My parents and their friends were dancing to disco. All of my friends had left to go to other parties. Robert and I were allowed to drink as long as we stayed put. I was fine with that because I had a little surprise for us. When the opportunity seemed right I found Robert and asked him if he wanted to retreat upstairs to my room to get away from the 'adults'.

He laughed that casual laugh of his and my heart fluttered a tiny bit.

Once locked inside my room I asked him if he had even done cocaine before. His eyes widened and he shook his head.

"Do you want to try it?" I asked, slyly. "I don't think anyone would notice."

"Um sure, why not?"

His sparkling blue eyes crinkled up as he looked at me mischievously. We had both smoked pot together whenever we had the chance, but tonight was something new. I pulled out the packet of coke and emptied it onto a mirror and began to chop. We sat on the floor close to each other.

"Why don't you put on some music? I have to hear something normal..."

"Good idea," he said as he leaned over my pile of tapes.

He pulled something out and within seconds I heard the first strains of 'Spirits in the Material World' drift out of my speakers.

"Great tune," I said as I separated the coke into several fat lines. "The Police are so cool."

He watched with interest as I rolled up a twenty-dollar bill.

"Just watch how I do it," I said.

He nodded and I lowered the bill to the mirror and snorted up the first line. I felt a small rush as it hit my sinus cavity. I tipped my head back and sniffed hard.

"Whew! Good stuff!" I said as I handed him the mirror. "All yours."

He took the mirror and did as I did. I watched as the first wave hit him.

"Holy shit!"

I laughed at him and took the mirror back for another snort. 'Demolition Man' came on and I turned it up a little. I passed the mirror back to him and he did his second line.

"Oh man, this is great, Beth. How long have you been doing this?"

I shrugged. "Not too long - since the beginning of this year."

"Do a lot of kids at your school do this stuff?"

"Not too many - just the ones with money."

He nodded. Money wasn't a big deal with us so there was no need to comment on it further.

We sat there for a second then suddenly we both started talking at once. We laughed and started going on about graduation parties and the fact that we were going to college in the fall. I complained about being 'forced' to go to Penn State. I had no idea what I wanted to do. I was just going because my parents wanted to get rid of me and my father went there. He laughed and said he was absolutely dreading Tulane.

"Yeah, but it's in New Orleans," I said, sniffing.

"True, but I really wanted to go to Caltech. My parents said it was too far away. Go figure."

I watched him clench his jaw so I passed him the mirror.

"Do some more."

"Yeah, I think I will."

And so it went. For the rest of 'Ghost in the Machine', we snorted and talked nervously. Meanwhile the party outside went on and we weren't missed. I slipped out and got us two beers. Robert drank half of his in one long gulp and leaned back against my bed.

"Oh man, I feel so wired, but it's great," he said. "My whole face feels numb!"

I giggled and told him that was par for the course. My own face was feeling that way as well as my teeth. All the coke was gone now.

"God, I want more," he said, clenching his jaw again.

"That feeling will pass. For now just go with it."

He started to flex his hands and I could see the muscles in his arm bulging. I licked my lips and took a nervous sip of my beer.

"Let me put on something a little more mellow - it will help you relax," I said.

I flipped through my tapes and settled on Pink Floyd's 'The Wall'. Neither one of us could get enough of that tape - even after three years.

"Perfect," he said and he pushed his hair back for the thousandth time. "I'm so friggin' tense!"

"Here, let me help that," I said. "Turn around."

He turned to face away from me and I got behind him and massaged his shoulders. I could feel all the tension in his body from the coke.

"This coke feels good and bad at the same time," he observed.

"Yeah, I know. We probably should have spaced it out a little."

He said nothing and let me work on his bunched shoulder muscles. I had lots of nervous coke-energy so I worked them hard and tried not to think about how sexy his arms were underneath his shirt. I dug my thumbs in pressed hard. He groaned a little but told me to keep going. My hands moved from his shoulders to his neck and I pressed a little at the top of his spine.

"Mmmmm, that feels good," he said in a softer voice.

I felt him gradually relax as my hands worked on his shoulders. He began to lean back a little. I smiled and enjoyed the nearness of him. He smelled so good that I took several long sniffs. My head filled with the scent of him and it made me a little giddy.

I kept it up for a while until I had to stop. Suddenly all the beer hit me and I had to go to the bathroom. I went into the adjoining bathroom and shut the door and looked at myself in the mirror. My face was flushed and my eyes had a wild look to them. I pushed back my long, brown hair that was feathered just so and pulled my top down a little. My breasts had finally developed into something I could be proud of and I smiled as I admired them just a little. I had a quick image of Jeff, my kinda, sorta boyfriend touching them and I shivered. I ignored that feeling for now and finished up what I had to do and returned to my bedroom.

Robert was leaning back against my bed with his eyes closed. Seizing the opportunity, I let my eyes travel down his body taking every inch of his tight shirt down to his tight jeans. Then when I saw what was really making his jeans tight, I gasped. His cock was stiff and very noticeable.

He heard me gasp and he opened his eyes. At once his face flushed as he realized what I was looking at.

"I-I... um, this stuff made me... you know..." he stuttered.