Chapter 5

I went into Maria's room and she was standing in front of an open drawer. I looked down into the open drawer and there lie 3 sex toys, dildos, whatever you might call them. One was an orange version of the White Wonder, one was a Silver Bullet, a vibrator, and the other an exaggerated long thin smooth penis.

"Meet my friends. See, you have no reason to be embarrassed. It natural. How many do you have?" she asked.

"Uh, just the one," I said. Then Maria uncovered one more, a black version of my Little Blue Devil anal toy.

"Before I could stop myself I said, "Oh, I have one of those too."

"I thought you said, just the one?" Maria asked smiling.

"Well, Bill keeps that one." I said embarrassed that I was revealing such personal stuff.

"Don't be so embarrassed, Carree. God, we all need a release every now and then. At least you see Bill more than 2 or 3 times a year. I wonder if Jack makes all the effort he could to get out here. I have to get out every now and then to get... you know, some company." Maria started to say something then stopped herself then turned red and she choked up.

"What, Maria. What did you say? What do you mean, some company?" I asked.

"It's just a faceless fuck Carree, it doesn't mean anything. I go out and pick up a kid, someone young, and show him a few things." She confessed.

"What? What do you mean, faceless fuck? Maria, you have sex outside of your relationship? Are you crazy?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes, I do," she admitted with a combination of pride and embarrassment, it seemed. "I go to the hang-outs where the freshmen are. Not so much here, but over near the other area schools. I show them a good time, they make me happy."

"MARIA, do you know what you're doing?" I said shocked.

"Yes, I do. I have to feel like a woman sometimes, you know. (She started to cry) I show these boys some real tits, how to eat pussy and they get a real blowjob. I don't fuck them. I may act like a slut, but I'm not a whore. I'm sorry I ever told you Carree. I didn't think you would be so judgmental." Maria said, still wet eyed but defensive.

She said it to me as if she was telling me she snuck a cigarette every now and then. God, this was sex, interpersonal sex!

"Maria, I never thought in a million years that you," I started.

"No one ever thinks in a million years that I would do this, but I'm human too. I want to get off, I want to get nasty, and I want to feel desired. I'm not hurting anyone but me, and I happen to like it. It's not like I do it every weekend, and I've never been with the same guy twice." She defended.

"Mare, just be careful. We've lived together and shared lives together. I love you, you know. You will always be a part of my life, even if I never see you again after we leave here next year. It would ruin everything if I read that they found you on the side of the road with your panties tied around your neck. What you're doing isn't safe!" I said bawling her out.

"God, why did you have to say that!" she said taking a second moment to think about what I said. "Well, you've done what you wanted to do. You scared the hell out of me, now. I almost picked up a creep once, but I never thought of that consequence. How can I do this again without that on my mind?"

"Maria, if you want to do it, you'll do it. But be careful. I just think you're being really short sighted and too trusting. Sometimes an innocent face isn't so innocent." I said, adding "That's my last word on it. Just don't do anything stupid and let anything bad happen to you."

I went back into my room not quite believing the exchange we just had. Maria, sweet faced little Maria with the body of an angel. It's a wonder those little freshmen didn't drown in their drool. I know that I am a good-looking girl, and Maria is every bit as attractive as me, plus she tans so well. Oh my God, the picture of her, with some young kid, letting her teach him. My mind was going in circles.

"Carree? Can I ask you a question?" Maria asked at my doorway.

"Sure, and hey I'm sorry for being so hard on you. I wasn't trying to be judgmental. I love you and worry about you, especially now." I answered.

"Have you ever heard of a blanket party?" she asked looking at the floor.

"Yes, I have. I've been to one, and I'm ashamed to admit. Not the lesbian kind," I added.

"No, God no, that's not what I meant. I meant the sorority girls with no dates kind." She reiterated. "Maybe we could put one together sometime, the three of us, some weekend when Henny, you and I are alone?" she asked.

"I don't know, Maria. I only did it with three really good friends that I knew forever and it was a spur of the moment thing. If they planned it, I wouldn't have even went. Why, do you think a blanket party would keep you out of the pick up bars? How about self control, and a sense of loyalty to Jack, instead of a blanket party?" I finished as the door swung open and whirlwind Henny came in.

"Blanket parties? You guys aren't having blanket parties are you? You aren't lezzies are you? Those are the things where you strip and hide under a blanket while a lezzy stripper does her thing and then you take turns?" Henny said.

"Henny, imagine me, or Maria hiring a lesbian stripper." I said.

"OK, you got me there. I don't picture either one of you so daring as to hold the lettuce at Burger King."

"We were talking about the kind of blanket party where you each hide under a blanket and watch a porno movie and do what ever comes natural, to yourself." Maria said.

"Wow, I'm in. A chance to act like a slut again without guilt. I like it! When do you want to do it?" Henny said, excited.

"No one said we were going to do it. We were just talking about it. It was something we could have done when we were without our boyfriends and all together," I explained.

"Oh, I was going to say, I'm going home for the weekend. Nick is on his way up now. I know what I used to do on those weekends. Go out and get me some meat and bring him home." Henny chattered.

"Yes, we know Henny, we've heard you. But that was a long time ago." Maria said. "You don't do that anymore, remember?."

"I know, I got my Nick now. I would never cheat on him, but it doesn't mean I can't think about it," Hen said.

"Alright, lets just drop it and maybe some day we can talk about it again. But no one here is suggesting it. It was just mentioned in conversation when you came in Henny," I said.

"Yes, I have to get packed up" Maria said. "My aunt should be here in a few minutes to take me home."

"Yeah, Nick should be here in a few minutes too. I have to pack." Henny said.

I finally hid my toy away and went back out to pick up the dorm. There were pieces of my phone and magazines all over he floor as well as the dumped end table, and Henny never said a word. I loved her, but I would love to look at the world through her eyes for a day. I feel like asking some times, "What's it like in there?"

Within an hour both Henny and Maria were gone, and I had the whole dorm to myself. Right away I began using that time to begin to think about Bill, and not having him here, and not going home this weekend. It was going to be a long night. I had to get out. I went to the quad bulletin board to see what was up. There were keggers going on all over the place. Spring fever had arrived. The cold snap had held down the blatant partying this week, but the weatherman said it would break tonight, accompanied by thunderstorms for a short time. I didn't envision going out tonight, but there was a party and half-kegger at Crackerjack House. Crackerjack House wasn't a real frat; it was a house that bordered the campus on our end. It was a 5 or 10-minute walk. It housed 6 guys who constantly partied, it seemed. Although, the one fellow, the one who held the lease this year, was Deans List, so apparently he knew how to party and still study. They called it Crackerjack house because there was a big plaster figurine that looked like the sailor on the Crackerjack box. It had become a good luck tradition, over the years, for guys to pat "jack" on the head as they left the house, girls would pat his butt. Those two spots were worn on the figure because of the constant parties they had there. I liked parties there because they never got out of hand and the real frat boys didn't hang out there. It was less an Animal House than some of the other frats or houses. Because it was officially "off campus", the school could do little about it.

As I looked at the rest of the goings on, it began to get ominously dark. I looked around and there was surely a storm imminent. It was weird though, because the wind blown air was warm, like the door was open on a hot room. It was real strange. Before I could make up my mind about another place to go, raindrops as big as water balloons began falling. I hightailed it back to my dorm and got there just in time before the torrents of rain really hit. The wind and thunderstorms lasted about an hour. Once everything cleared I went out to Frazier Hall to get dinner. It was sure strange; the temperature must have gone up 40 or 50 degrees.

By the time I waited out the storm and ate, reading the newspaper, it was after 9 o'clock. I was happy that I had wasted so much time away. Tomorrow I planned a day of running, laundry and then studying. If Bill was to come up on Sunday, I wanted to be sure my plate was empty.

I decided I wouldn't need a coat to go out that night, a sweatshirt would do. Besides, I didn't like to dress too revealing when I went out, I didn't need guys hitting on me. I scouted out Crackerjack house and the party seemed to be a little loud, but not raucous. There were not more than 20 or 25 people there, so there was enough room to dance if you wanted. The pot smokers usually stayed in the back of the upstairs rooms, so the non-smokers usually stayed down. As you went in there was a sign that said the cover was $4 and was to go in the Crapper. They had an old Crapper toilet, with the high tank, just as you came in the door. The object was to stand on the seat, and drop your money in the tank. If a girl wore a short dress, someone with a camera snapped a picture of her "pretties" as she reached to put her money in. There was a bulletin board with "Past Pretties" pictures on it, but with girls mostly wearing jeans now days, there wasn't much to post. I guess it was a time-honored tradition they had to keep. I dropped my money in and looked for a friendly familiar face. I heard a whistle and turned to see Mark and Russell. Ahh, friendly faces! I went over and we started up a conversation right away.

Mark went and got me a beer, and it tasted good. I usually didn't like beer, but this was really cold and it must have been fresh or something. I finished the first one and Russell got me a second. I pulled Russ onto the dance floor and we danced a little. Mark was kind of in charge of the music and kept good dance tunes going. I danced with each of them. I finished the second beer, but it was way after 11 when I did. I had really nursed it. Mark went a got me a fresh cup and a new beer, and I thanked him. But, I knew I wasn't going to drink anymore. I nursed a few sips and had one more dance with Russell. I gave each of them a hug and told them I was on my way; I had things to do early in the morning. I went out, patted Crackerjack on the butt, and went on my way up the sidewalk to where I could cross and go down the Campus walkway between the scrubs to the walk to my quad.

"Carree, Carree, wait up," I heard and I turned. It was Russell. "Let me walk you back to your dorm, and make sure you get here safe," he said.

That's really not necessary, Russell. You ought to stay at the party. Maybe you can meet a girl for the night, maybe even find a girlfriend." I said.

"The only girl I'm really interested in just left." Russell said.

"That's sweet of you Russell, but you know I am engaged," I said.

"It's just, you're so nice, and easy to talk to and interesting." He said.

I stopped walking and turned to Russell.

"Russell, that is so sweet of you to say. You don't know what a bad day this has been for me. I just wanted to die earlier, literally. It's nice to have the support of a friend." I said as I leaned in to kiss him for being so nice.