Chapter 23

I laid the razor on the counter and shook my head at the bottles on the counter. I couldn't understand why women needed so many items to get beautiful. Personally, I thought Penny went wild cosmetic shopping the previous evening. I continued shaking my head and remembered Sue filled her medicine cabinet in the same manner. I felt a spasm in my stomach when I thought about her. "Sue, Sue, Sue," I said aloud, watching my lips move and the pain gnawed in my gut again.

She was probably standing beside mom when I called, refusing to speak to me. I wished many times she felt the pain of loneliness as I did. I loved her stubborn streak; however, I believed she was carrying it too far. I was tempted many times to call and tell her I'd attend those damn meetings, just to see if it would be a way to ease into her life. I knew that wasn't the single reason she wouldn't talk to me, as mom professed. We each knew the real reason. Mom, nor Ida, would pass a message to her I was sure, but I hoped one of the twins, Tracy or Erica, conveyed my messages. Dawn wasn't a help but she did speak to me, although only five times in the past year. Dawn professed I could survive on my own, unlike Sue.

Staring into the mirror at my reflection, I didn't see an obvious change. Still, I was only looking at the exterior of my body. The changes were internal, in both mind and body. Penny hadn't changed in appearance, yet I knew she changed internally. I felt dumbfounded comparing her to Sue's appearance, which almost reached the unrecognizable point. Mom certainly pulled a fast one, gathering the girls and walking in without me expecting them. I tried to remember everything just as it occurred thirteen months earlier.

I walked to the sink and poured the remaining beer in the drain. I wandered through the condo, disturbed at the current situation. Nothing appeared to be in order, at least the way I envisioned it to be. Mom came in from South America, stayed one night, and left for four days. We made love one night, and when she returned, I received a blowjob. She was off again. This was not what I wanted. I wanted to possess her, body and soul, her two-week stay.

I sat staring at the blank screen on the TV, waiting for her to return. I turned in the direction of the door at each sound. I became irritable waiting. I leaped from the sofa when I heard the noise at the door and rushed to meet her. Expecting mom to be alone, I froze in shock as mom stepped into the room smiling. Behind her came Ida, and then Dawn. Dawn stepped into the room and turned to the door. She made a hand motion and Sue appeared in the doorway.

I felt a weakness in my legs as I stared at her. I wanted to rush to her, however I couldn't move. I was frozen. Her beautiful red hair, formerly softly nestled at the base of her neck, now appeared light lime and chopped off short. Her once flawless complexion was covered, hidden by gaudy black mascara. Her soft eyes were replaced by a harsh stare. The weakness overcame my body and I slowly walked backwards, settling on the sofa, speechless.

I continued to stare as Tracy and Erica slowly entered the room. I felt a slight smile come over my face as I looked in their direction. I looked at mom and saw she was wiping her eyes as the tears rolled across her cheeks. My eyes filled with water and everyone I loved became blurred.

The silence in the room extended to more than a minute.

"I'll call and order Chinese," Ida said, breaking the tension in the room.

Her body passing before me broke my line of sight briefly, yet enough break my look of shock. I rose slowly and walked to Sue, hesitantly wrapping her in my arms. I felt her tense body began shaking, my shaking equaling hers as we each cried tears.

I looked up through my tears and reached for Tracy. She moved hesitantly until her hand took my own. I pulled gently and she stepped forward. Her arms went around Sue and I, and she began crying. I looked quickly to Erica and Dawn. I could see each face tearing as they quickly huddled close, arms encircling the crying mass.

We hugged and kissed one another many minutes as we continuously wiped our eyes. I couldn't recall who passed me the tissue but when I tossed it aside, it was soaked.

Ida, the only one in control of her senses, took control.

"The delivery person will be here shortly. You don't want him to crawl over your suitcases in the hallway, or do you?" she asked cheerfully.

"I forgot about them," Tracy said as she pulled her body from the midst of the group.

"We have presents for each of you," Erica said pushing from my grasp.

Together we carried the luggage from the hallway, placing it in the girl's rooms. Erica and Tracy each had two large pieces. I felt disappointed discovering Sue brought one small overnight bag.

Sue felt as uncomfortable with me as I felt with her. Much later in the evening, mom and I sat quietly staring at one another, the girls either bathing or in bed.

"I'm sorry I had to lie to you Hal, but I've had a terrible time convincing Sue to come home."

I saw the tears forming in mom's eyes and passed her the box of tissues.

"The biggest mistake your dad and I made was to leave the two of you. I'll never forgive myself. She won't tell you, but she's living in a house with a girl and four boys. None has a steady job or is employed. From what I could determine, the girls provide the money needed to survive. It's a continuous party where people come and go freely. Sue is not on drugs, as far as I can ascertain, however she uses alcohol to excess."

Mom wept openly.

"Hal, I would give my life if I didn't have to ask you, it's the same as choosing one child over another."

Tears formed in my eyes as I watched mom struggling to speak. At that moment, I felt as though I could throttle Sue for causing mom the pain she expressed.

"I've convinced Sue to come home for a few days, but Dawn told me Sue said she would be leaving in two or three days. Sue won't admit it, but Dawn said she is hooked on the alcohol and party life. Sue told her she couldn't live with you because each time you looked in her direction you would be judging her."

Mom paused, sitting silent and looked away from me before speaking again.

"Hal, would you consider finding a small apartment for a while? I don't know how long it will take. I spoke to your father and within six weeks, he'll come home, permanently. He sent Tracy and Erica home this weekend. I drove to Orlando and met them yesterday morning. I've been staying with Claire while convincing Sue to come home with me."

Instantly I felt as though a knife plunged into my body and twisted. I sat dumbfounded a few moments until I realized the decision mom made didn't come easily. I hurt, and yet I felt compassion for mom. I stared blankly at the wall and cursed Sue in my mind. I can't remember mom putting her arms around me, I just remember her holding me tight and crying.

For some reason that I couldn't explain, I felt she was shedding tears for Sue. I struggled to get my arms free and pulled mom close. Tears filled my eyes as I began wondering where I failed. I loved her and yet I let my sister succumb to a life which no individual should face.

Sue remained in her room two days, never leaving except to go to the bathroom. Mom was in and out of her room, however Sue refused to speak with either the twins or myself. Mom took her meals to her while Tracy and Erica worried how they could keep my spirits up. They knew I would be moving out soon.

I announced my decision at the dinner table.

"I will be leaving tomorrow morning. I have a property in Southern Georgia I've put off viewing for weeks, and I am taking this opportunity to give it the once over. I will not be returning."

Tears came to mom's eyes and she quickly left the table. Tracy and Erica sat in a trance for many minutes and they began crying, each coming to me.

"Please stay another week, at least three or four days," Erica pleaded.

"I can't take Sue's solitary confinement any longer. It's driving everyone nuts. We're on edge and I can repair much of the problem by moving out soon. Besides, I have a suspicion I can turn a good profit with a few days work."

Mom rushed teary-eyed from her room, which I'd taken over, when I brought the suitcases from the closet. The twins followed me and helped pack, even carrying the heavy cases to the car for me. Dawn and Ida came and talked a few minutes, and Ida left with tears in her eyes. Dawn helped me pack two boxes promising to ship them when I settled. Dawn and I then sat on the bed and held hands for an hour, talking about past times. We kissed passionately before she rushed from my room teary-eyed. I had to grasp her hands as they searched my body or I would have easily changed my mind about leaving.

The house became quiet and I made my last rounds, perhaps forever I thought. I checked the kitchen, secured the door and lights, and retired to my old room. I lay in the darkness remembering the good and bad days past. I couldn't rid my mind of Sue, wanting to take the few steps to her room, yet afraid. I tossed and turned, remaining awake for an hour, when my door opened.

My heart began pounding when I realized it was Sue. Perspiration broke out on my body as she slowly and silently approached my bed. I pulled the sheet back, as I did dozens of times previously, expecting her to slide in the bed beside me. She stopped at the bedside, pulled the sheet back over my body, and lay beside me. My heart was beating, and my pulse was racing.

"Mom told me you're leaving in the morning. I promised her I would say good-bye to you."

The bed began shaking and I could hear her crying. She laid an arm over my chest and gave a gentle squeeze.

"I love you," she said sniffling. She raised her head, kissed me on the cheek, and quickly rushed from the room.

I cried openly, finally burying my face in the pillow only to cry longer. Much later, I stopped crying. After that I lay awake unable to sleep.

I lay awake for hours. When my door opened once more, it was after 4:00 a.m. My heartbeat began racing again. I just knew it was Sue returning to my room. The door closed and I felt a jolt of disappointment realizing it was not her. I watched the form as it walked around my bed, and pausing. I saw the movement and I knew she was removing her nightgown. I felt the sheet lifted and my bed moved with her body weight. Her naked body pressed against me as her arms pulled me to her.

"Hal, please make love to me," Erica pleaded softly.

My heart skipped again as I turned and cradled her in my arms. I was shaking as much as she shook. I could feel her body trembling, yet she was warm to the touch. My prick was pressing firmly against her stomach and my body jerked when her fingers surrounded it.

"Night after night I've cried myself to sleep wishing I had made love to you when I had the opportunity. I haven't slept tonight thinking of you leaving again, and I couldn't stand the thought of you leaving without asking. I know you don't love me, but I've loved you since the morning we met in the cafeteria. That seems as though it was a lifetime ago."

My prick was throbbing in her fingers as I raised my hand to cover a breast. She was soft and warm.

"Oh my," she said and began moaning, pressing her upper body against my hand.

I placed my lips against her lips and kissed her tenderly. She made a moaning sound and returned my kiss. I could barely make out her face because the moonlight coming through the window wasn't that bright. I shifted and lowered my lips to hers again, this time tracing my tongue across her lips. Her tongue touched mine and she sucked gently, pulling it into her mouth. We began slowly, she sucked my tongue, and then I would suck hers in return.

As the minutes passed, the kissing became more passionate. In fact, it became aggressive. I thought about Tracy on my bed the prior evening.

Kissing became the topic and Tracy remarked Erica needed experience in kissing. Erica became embarrassed when Tracy informed me Erica had dated only a half dozen times after mom and dad let them date.

"I didn't find any of the boys attractive," Erica responded red-faced as she lowered her head and looked in my direction, her eyes locking on my own.

"She was scared of the boys, afraid one of them would touch her. Hell, she wouldn't even swim when others were around. She was afraid someone would look at her tits, or her ass," Tracy said and began laughing.

"Tracy, now cut that out. You know she is self-conscious about her body," mom said, speaking sternly to Tracy.

The room became quiet and Erica began shifting in her chair.

"I'm sorry Erica, I shouldn't have said anything. I know you are self-conscious about the..."

"TRACY!" Erica shouted and looked at her, staring hard.

"Self-conscious about what?" I asked.

"Now see what you started," mom said sympathetically.

"Well?" I stated.

Mom looked at Tracy unkindly, and then to Erica. Her expression changed and I could see she was almost asking her something. Erica's eyes watered. She looked at me, and then she looked at her sister.

"Go on, tell him. BUT YOU TALK TOO MUCH!" Erica exclaimed as she stood quickly, and rushed from the room.

Tracy lowered her head as mom glared at her. Mom turned to me and spoke sympathetically.

"She's ashamed of the marks left on her body. She doesn't realize they're barely noticeable, and that we only see them because we know they are there. She thinks everyone sees them immediately."

"Are they that noticeable? I thought they would have disappeared by now," I said looking at Tracy. "What about yours?"

Mom surprised me by speaking quickly.

"Show him."

Tracy raised her hands to her blouse and hesitated, looking at me and then at mom.

"Don't pretend to be shy. I've seen you running around topless dozens of times."

"Yes, but that was on the beach," Tracy remarked quickly.

"Close your eyes and pretend," mom responded, and then chuckled.

Tracy's straight face melted into a smile as she began working the buttons on her blouse. All the buttons were loose, her hands went between her small breasts, and she twisted her bra. It opened and she pulled it aside, displaying her smallish breasts. She looked up at me and smiled.

"See, no visible marks," she said as she covered her breasts with her bra.

"But I saw... ," I said and looked at her face.

She continued to stare at me as she snapped the bra and began closing the buttons. When her blouse was secured her hands dropped to her lap. I could see a light blush on her face and mom chuckled, drawing a quick stare from Tracy.

"So what, they no longer bother me," she snapped.

"Something must be bothering you, your nipples are becoming stiff," I said jokingly.

"HAL!" mom snapped.

"Just joking mom," I said quickly.

Mom looked at me and her lips moved, however she didn't speak. Reaching for her drink, she continued to keep her eyes on me as she sucked the remainder of the fluid through the straw. She stood, dumped the ice in the drain, and after placing the glass in the dishwasher, turned to Tracy and me mumbling as she leaned against the counter. Tracy laughed aloud causing me to smile.

Mom began laughing, joining Tracy. After a moment, she pushed from the counter and walked past Tracy, stopping to kiss her on the forehead. Walking to my side of the table, she leaned and kissed me likewise. She looked down at me and smiled.

"Kids! I don't understand them sometimes. Goodnight, I'm going to bed," she said as she walked beside Tracy, stopped, smiled, and patted her on the shoulder, before walking from the room.

Tracy and I began laughing, Tracy almost uncontrollable.

"I don't see where it's that comical," mom shouted from the hallway and we heard her laughing.

I looked at Tracy and we began laughing again. Tracy stood, after we ceased our laughter, and walked to the fridge. Returning with a cola, she opened it and poured half in her glass and the remainder in mine. We chatted while drinking the sodas. Her main topic became the cute boys she knew, dating a few, whereas I matched her boasting by telling her of the many shapely girls I met.

"Did you have any special boyfriends?" I asked when the conversation slowed.

"None really special. There were a few I enjoyed being with for more than a couple of dates."

"Only a few, why just a few?"

"They looked at me as though I was a rich American and were in love," she said musically with defined inflection of her voice.

She chuckled and leaded across the table, speaking softly.

"Mom had a boyfriend, a hunk," she said looking toward the bedrooms.

"She did," I stated softly.

I knew mom had a boyfriend although I didn't admit the same to Tracy.

"I'll be back in a minute," she said as she walked from the room silently.

She was gone more than five minutes. I heard the toilet and she returned dressed in her nightgown. I could see her dark, hard nipples pressing against the thin materiel. My prick rose.

"They're all asleep. Yes, mom had a boy friend and dad had a girlfriend," she said softly, pulling at my hand.

I resisted a moment, unsure of her meaning.

"Come, I'll tell you about them," she said pulling my hand much harder.

I rose and followed her. She walked down the short hallway and entered my room. She closed the door behind us and walked to my bed. She crawled on my bed and turned, sitting with her legs crossed, and patting the bed in front of her. I obliged her and she patted my knee.