Chapter 3

He lay in her bed, considering how to tell her the truth. She was busying herself with her morning toilet in the bathroom. Sighing, he folded his hands behind his head and waited for her to come out.

The bathroom door opened and Chantal padded out in her white terrycloth bathrobe. She looked clean.

"Hi," she said, smiling.

"Good morning to you to," he said, trying not to look too guilty.

As he climbed out of bed, she noticed that he had already dressed. She thought his shirt had been black, but today it was white. Obviously she had been mistaken in the dark of the previous evening- maybe blind with lust, she thought, blushing internally.

"So what do you want to do today?" she asked, pulling some casual clothes out of her dresser.

"Well I was thinking..." he began, stopping confused as she gave him a pleading look. "What?"

"Um, would you mind, you know, turning around or something?"

He chuckled at her modesty this morning, after how she'd acted the night before, but turned to face the window anyway.

"Go on," she prompted, voice muffled by a shirt.

"Right, well I was thinking we could just go for a drive, and maybe if we see something that looks like fun, we just go for it."

"Ok," she sounded a bit hesitant, "drive where though?"

"Just around, I guess."

"Sure, why not. Oh, you can turn around now, thanks."

He turned to see her dressed in fresh khakis and a baby blue cotton shirt.

"Cute."

"Thanks, are you hungry?"

"A little, how about we go out for breakfast to start things off?"

"Pancakes at Perkins?"

"You read my mind."

The day was a lot warmer than yesterday had been, and the air smelled like spring. Some melting snow lingered on the lawn in front of her building, and the sky was clear and bright.

Chantal walked out to the street arm in arm with her lover, her heart feeling twice its size with joy. Maybe now her life would really begin. She could get married, have kids, and she'd start by finally getting a jump on her career. She felt like she was just awakening to a whole new world of possibilities, filled with meaning and purpose.

She was on top of the world as she climbed into the bluish-silver sports car- nothing would bring her down.

She smiled, admiring his profile as he pulled the car out into the street. As they drove, she noticed something about the way he was driving- it was more like cruising. He sat low in the leather seat, one hand on the gear-shifter, and one at the top of the wheel. He wore that same serene expression that she remembered caught her attention outside the shop.

Just as she was filled with joy at her situation, so he felt the calm wash over him as the engine purred. The stereo in his car was impressive, and at the very least, expensive, but he seldom turned it on. Preferring to let his mind drift and become one with his car, the road, and the other drivers.

Chantal was just about to ask which Perkins he was headed for, when she glanced away from him and noticed that they'd already arrived.

"Your server will be here right away, can I get you any drinks to start off with? Coffee?"

"Sure," he replied, looking over to Chantal.

"Yes please," she said to the hostess that sat them.

He turned to watch the hostess run off then looked back at Chantal.

"So you like pancakes?" he began.

"Yeah, well they're good breakfast food, you know?"

"Definitely, but- do you ever wonder why you like pancakes?"

"Because they taste good?" she offered.

"Ever take philosophy when you were at university?"

"I took Intro in my first year I think, but I couldn't really get the hang of it."

"Well have you ever heard of determinism?"

"I don't think so... what is it?"

"It's pretty much the opposite of free will. Determinism says that everyone's actions are always determined by antecedent conditions, and that free will is just an illusion."

"That's pretty messed up," she chuckled.

"Is it?" he asked, "Let me ask you this then, you said you liked pancakes because they taste good-"

"Don't forget the syrup, it helps," she interrupted.

He smiled, "-but why do you like things that taste good?"

She mulled this over for a moment, and figured she had come up with a pretty clever answer when her train of thought was derailed by the arrival of their coffee.

The hostess set a bowl of creamers, two cups and a carafe of coffee on the table and apologized for the wait, assuring them that their server would be with them shortly.

He burnt his tongue sipping some steaming coffee and nodded an acknowledgment to the hostess.

"Ok, I give up, what's the answer?" she conceded while dumping four creamers and four packets of sugar into her cup.

"The answer is that you can't help but like things that taste good. You see, the question itself is nonsense, in that you would obviously consider what you 'like' to be 'good'. My point is that you will order the pancakes, and can do nothing else, because you can't help liking them, and that's the antecedent condition."

"You're beginning to turn me off pancakes," she said.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to overwhelm you." This was going to be harder than he thought.

"Don't worry about it, it's just a little too deep for breakfast-talk. How about you tell me about your job instead?"

And so the time had come.

"Yeah, about that," he began.

Out on the highway, he played a little game he made up to amuse him. He would see how fast he could get the car going before a cop would pull him over. It was a relief to get out of her life for a while. Maybe she'd develop a bit more on her own.

The coffee shop closed early on Sundays, so it was still daytime when Chantal went around cleaning up the last few tables. She had almost had a heart attack the previous week at breakfast with Greg.

Everything had been going so well up to that point. She thought she'd finally found Mr. Right, and that her whole life had been about to change. They were on such a similar wavelength; it was like he could read her thoughts. But then he told her the truth.

She had heard guys start with the phrase 'Yeah, about that... ' in the past, and it never led to anything good. Her breath had caught in her throat and her eyes widened like a frightened doe.

She had been prepared for anything, but as it turned out, the news wasn't quite as bad as she'd thought.