Chapter 2

Jenny took my question to heart. "Sometimes a guy just wants to see 'how much he can get off you' before you stop him. But, when you have a relationship where you really care about the other person, it's wanting to make them happy. As well as satisfying your own urges, that's natural. But, if someone tapped him on the shoulder to cut in, like on a dance floor, you couldn't just continue. There is definitely a connection, a bond. Like when we went to New York and were alone on that waterbed, just touching him was electric. That was why I showed no fear or reluctance to have any kind of sex with him. We were two as one. Unfortunately, it ended up that he was using my love for him to satisfy his urges and make me a conquest. After it was over, well the thing that convinced me it was over, was how I realized and remembered how he manipulated me during the weeks leading up to our trip. We were not having serious sex, I was holding out. I was too stupid to realize I was being set up. But, the fact he was experienced made our love making all SEEM natural. He knew ways to get me fired up where I would be vulnerable. While I regret the way things happened, now that I know I didn't get pregnant or get a disease or anything, the experience will shape all my relationships. To tell you that I didn't enjoy the sex would be a lie. It was incredible. But, I couldn't just do it with anyone. A girl who gets all hot and bothered and seeks out a partner for a night is shallow and looking for trouble.

Any time you have a sexual relationship, remember you might be doing something that will put you with that person forever. I don't mean to sound like Dr. Laura, but I worried for a while about consequences. Once I knew he was gone from my life, I skipped a period.

I called him at school to tell him I was late and he said he would call me back in a day or two to check on me. He never called and, like I said before, at Christmas I had to call HIM.

I could have been 5 months pregnant and he didn't even care. So, having a partner who doesn't know what to do or is sheepish isn't all bad.

Explain that you know what he does when he gets home from seeing you. He will deny it, but if you look him in the eye and tell him not to lie, because you are doing the same thing, he should open up.

It's so stupid that everyone denies masturbating, especially guys, and we ALL do it. If you say you don't, you are lying."

Jenny's words were just sinking in when Megan's phone rang.

"Oh, that's my phone, hardly anyone has this number, it must be Jimmy B at deer camp" She picked up the phone and instead of

"hello", She said "You DO miss me". She blushed embarrassed, listened for second and said, "Oops, sorry Heid, I thought you were my boyfriend... (she listened again) Really! Let me ask"

she said cupping the mouthpiece.

"It's Heidi Stewart, she saw my lights and my mom told her about the slumber. She had a chaperones reception after the dance, and only one person showed. She's got a couple pizza's and she wants to know if we want them."

We all looked at each other and said "Sure, why not?."

Meg uncupped her hand and said "Sure Heid, but we're all in our PJ's waiting for Prince Charmings to whisk us away. Can I meet you at my door? Be quiet on the steps so my Dad doesn't think we're sneaking guys in, ha ha."

Megan had stairs going up to her room from the outside, but it was really a fire escape of sorts. No handle or keyhole from the outside. In plain words, Meg couldn't sneak in at night.

Heidi Stewart was a 32-year-old divorc≠e who worked at St Pius.

She ran the Alumni Association and was the Yearbook Advisor.

Her snappy personality and clean-cut good looks made her popular with everyone who ever went to St Pius.

When she was raising money to reduce tuition, she was always successful. I can't imagine I would ever mail them a check after I graduated, but I suppose everyone felt that way at one time.

Heidi was married to the basketball coach and Phys Ed instructor, Jerry Wayman. They were a beautiful couple. Heidi looked like a movie star and Jerry her leading man. Unfortunately Heidi caught Jerry screwing one of the girls at school. It ended Jerrys career, put him on probation for 10 years, and ended his marriage to Heidi.

Megan and Heidi were more girlfriends than faculty/student. She had known Meg since she was a kid and Meg loved having a friend who was an adult, which she could trust here intimacies with, since her sisters moved out. In turn, Meg was mature enough to be able to listen to Heidi share girl/girl advice. She had been to parties with all of us at Megs before and just asked us to be cool at school and call her Ms Stewart, so she could be professional and all. She really was just an older version of any of us.

She lived across the backyard from Meg and was really extended family to Meg Parkers family. She was another "big sister" to Meg. Heidi could have any guy she wanted, but chose to be cautious after her marriage broke up. I'm sure a lot of boys at school dreamed about her.

There was a drumming of fingernails on the metal door in the corner and Meg went to answer it.

"Hi Heidi, your party was dud, huh?", Meg said.

"Yes", Heidi bubbled. "We try to get together after dances for some socializing, but tonight there were 6 chaperones and 4 ended up being men and they probably don't have "wife clearance" to come to my house.

So, just Mrs. Adams came over. She said she knew she and I were the only female chaperones and was wondering why I chose tonight have a get together.

Well, DUH, why didn't she tell me instead of keeping it a secret?

Then when she comes over all she does is ask questions about Jerry. I think she is frustrated and wonders if she has a chance with him.

I should tell her that as long as she can lower her drawers, she has a chance with him. Oh, damn, I'm sorry, I'm just blabbing away and horning in on your slumber,... enjoy your pizza."

Meg laughed at Heidi's frenetic delivery, "For Gods sake, take a breath will you? How many cups of coffee did you have with Mrs.

Adams? Come on in and stay a minute or two, the talk is just getting juicy."

Right away I panicked a little. I didn't mind sharing intimate details with the girls, and as much as Heidi was cool, she was still "adult". Heidi realized the same thing right away.

"No", she said, "your girl talk is for your ears only."

"But, can we ask you some questions. Guy questions? Without getting embarrassed? At least I have a couple" Megan said grabbing Heidi's elbow as she turned to leave.

"Uh-Oh, this is one of THOSE parties. Comparing love notes, huh?

What makes you think I would have the answers? My marriage went to hell", Heidi said.

"I'll try to help, but don't put me on a spot. I don't need to be accused of putting ideas in your heads."

"Well, we were talking about, a... um... alternative sex", Megan said.

Heidi turned and said "Ok, I'm out of here", then stopped and chuckled. "Just kidding, let me share something with you that not everybody knows, and I would appreciate it staying in this room.

You are 4 of the most levelheaded girls in school. Four girls I think I can call friends. You all know me outside the walls of St Pius and you know when I'm inside those walls I am a different person to you, OK? We can all trust each other, right?"

We all nodded and looked at her intently.

"Jerry and I were in love in high school, right at St Pius. The perfect couple. From our sophomore year on, everyone knew we were going to get married. What people do not know is that I had an abortion in my junior year, and was pregnant again when I graduated. We had to get married. Jerry was a great guy then, but I would not have married him until after college, if not for being pregnant. By that time I might have found out what a cheater he was. He cheated on me all through my marriage. When I had the car accident and lost my baby I was devastated mentally and physically. I could never have children again and I accepted that as Gods punishment for getting pregnant twice and being so stupid.

Ten years later I found out that Jerry, while seemingly supporting me, was also screwing one of the nurses at the hospital. One that tended to me for the 2 weeks I was in the hospital, he screwed for years!

Once I was recuperated from the accident and we continued college we were only an hour away from each other during the week, and lived as husband and wife on weekends, breaks, and of course all summer, for 4 years. I thought I had a dream marriage. Supporting husband, who worked his tail off, full time, went to school, paid the rent, bought the food, paid our tuitions. We came here and bought that house (pointing across Megans yard) and both got jobs at St Pius using the educations we earned for ourselves.

When he got caught screwing that girl and we went to trial for statutory, he fessed up to the whole thing because the prosecutor had 30 girls to bring into court and testify that he had affairs with them, some in school when they were underage. It was sickening. All of this could have been avoided by what you call

"alternative sex". I wouldn't have found out Jerry was a jerk right away, but if I hadn't been pregnant and HAD to get married, my thinking would have changed and I may have looked at things in a different light."

Heidi was choked up a little and we all got up to hug and comfort her.

I was the first to speak. "Wow, Heidi, that's quite a bit of advice that every girl should hear. Thanks.and I am really so sorry... I..."

"Please" Heidi interjected, "Don't feel sorry for me. His cheating and philandering are things I had no control over. But, having sex like married people, in high school, was stupid. We did all that other stuff too and always had lots of opportunities, you know, being alone.

Jerry's Mom was dead and his Dad worked lots of hours. Their house was always free for us. We were so beautiful, so smart.

But, now I know we could have shared a lot of the same pleasures, same intimacies without risking pregnancy, by just not having regular intercourse. We thought we were grown up, we weren't.

Feeling like you are in love and wanting to express it is only normal.

Wanting, or I guess 'being horny' is normal too. You guys have to worry about disease more than I did then. Know your partner.

Where you are lucky is that most of your possible boyfriends are inexperienced and have no shot of having HIV, but make sure you know them and their history.

Alternative sex? Wow, you can have so much fun, so much pleasure, feel so much in love with hand sex, oral sex, sex toys, and even anal sex of you're adventurous, anything you can do that you both agree to.

But, don't let that loaded penis inside your vagina. 15 minutes of pleasure can screw up your whole life. Some of you may have already done it and gotten away with it. Don't press your luck anymore."

"Oh God, I'm lecturing now, ruining your night. I just don't want to see any of you get hurt. Let me just add this... Love isn't thinking a guy has a cute ass, or him thinking you have a cute ass or big boobs. Make sure you, or your partner, isn't just like a dog, sniffin' buttholes and humpin' legs, as we used to say.

Your body is sacred and you don't share it with just anyone to have a good time.

You can get off at home, alone, if you have to get off.

I've said way too much, and I can talk to any of you anytime if you have any questions.

Just don't do it at school. We can have private girl talk if you feel comfortable asking me questions. OK?"

We all nodded and Heidi turned and was out the door in a flash.

She was obviously uncomfortable about sharing so much of her own life and problems, but you could see she was concerned for us.

She saw herself at about the same age, and no one was there for her. But, now there was a wet blanket to remove from us so we could enjoy the night.

We all sat and tried to think of something to get the ball rolling.

Kim got up and went over to the pizza boxes and opened one.

"Oh look", she said, "there's sausage, we can all start practicing now."

We all laughed like hell at her joke and got up to get pizza too.

"If we're practicing with the sausage", Jenny said "I hope the boys are having anchovies on theirs."

Again we all laughed when we got the "fish smell" joke, but I admit, it took me a second longer than the others.

We wolfed down pizza for a few minutes and watched the end of Conan, and then some comics that came on next. Then we turned our circle more towards each other again.

Megan looked at us saying, "Anal sex, did she really say that?"

You won't believe this", Kim began, "But my one sister says she prefers anal to regular sex. My other sister says she tried it and would leave it, but it is very intimate, but there is lots of prep for it that changes the mood. It's not something you do on a date in the back of a car. I just cannot imagine even trying it."

"Rick wanted me to try it", Jenny cut in, "On our little honeymoon from hell in New York? I say that like I didn't enjoy that week with Rick. I really did, don't think that he raped me, or anything. Anyway, he tried... a... um... stuff...

back there. It was morning and I hadn't... you know... went yet.

It seemed pretty gross at the time."

"I think the 'Joy of Sex' says to use a light enema, like a Fleet, a couple of them to avoid messes, and lots and lots of lube", I added. "It makes it easier if you want to be that adventurous."

All conversation stopped, and all 3 girls looked at me. "You read up on anal sex?", Megan astoundedly asked.

"Well,... not on purpose", I said. "I was reading the 'Joy of Sex' and just came to that part. I wasn't exactly looking for pointers for my next date with Billy."

That got a laugh for my 3 friends who never heard me say 'poop' without apologizing.

"Kim, your sister prefers it? I can't imagine that. What's wrong with her?", Jenny asked.

"Hey, I'm just telling you what she said. She said it wasn't something you did 4 times a week, but that when it happened it was special and real intimate." Kim added.

"I had asked her about it when that internet thing went around about high schoolers having more sex and less pregnancy. They say that's because of anal sex, more kids doing it."

"Oh, that was just one of those urban legends", Megan chided. "I got that too. There was a video clip with it that had some chick saying 'I'm not going to screw up my life, getting pregnant', then she walks away like she has a load in her pants.

Don't believe all that stuff. But, when I did ask my sisters about it they both hedged and said was a personal choice of a committed couple.

I didn't press, it sounded gross. But, I know people do it."

We looked like 4 zombies being led off into the night as our minds wandered about the awful things men do to your bodies to get off. I had in my mind, a long time; any sex act I did not enjoy would be off limits. I was not going to be a subservient sex tool to anyone.

Finally Megan stood up. "OK, lets get our minds off of things that are scaring us, ruining our mood. This is supposed to be a giggly fun party. I don't wanna talk sex no more. I WANT TO SEE IT. Lets put on the porno movie!!!"

"God, I don't believe you actually have one of those things", I said. "Where did you get it?"

"From my sister, who else", Kim laughed. "I told her we were having a slumber and planned to talk sex and boys and she suggested it. She and her husband have a lot of them. She said she got hooked on them in her sorority days for a source of laughs, and to ease tension and stress. You know, with what you do afterward. She even told me they had blanket parties where a bunch of girls sit with blankets over each of them, watching pornies, and they could use their hands as they liked without the others seeing. She said it sounded 'lezzie' but it wasn't at all."

Megan slipped the movie in the VCR and went to lock the door so her parents couldn't walk in. The movie opened with some guy talking about the new bunch of girls he had for his viewers, and they were all new to the porno business.

Then a girl appears on a couch and the guy interviewed her about sex, what she liked and didn't. Before you knew it she was nude and masturbating. We giggled and made fun of marks on her body and supposed what she was thinking as she began to make loud squeally noises.

Then the guy who interviewed her came into the shot and began to lick her vagina. We got quiet for a bit, then Kim made some comment and we all laughed and started throwing in barbs. A few minutes later she had this huge penis half way down her throat. I was mesmerized, because, it was the first real penis I had ever seen. I had seen drawings, but never a real one. It was huge, but this girl had done this before, and she looked like she really enjoyed it. She licked him all over and sucked on his balls, smiling at him.

Kim and Megan were a riot with their comments. Jennifer was pretty quiet, while I laughed, but was a little uncomfortable seeing all this for the first time.

Then, the guy lays the girl out with her legs way up over her head and he puts his penis at the shaved opening (Kim made a lot of barber jokes at that, too) of her vagina, and slides the whole thing in. We all sat in stunned silence that this huge thing could slide into such a little girl.

Boy, did she love it. I must say she made ME hot too.

We grew more comfortable with the scenes as they changed positions over and over and we each threw in funny comments. Then finally he started moaning and he pulled his huge penis out and she scooted right down and put her mouth over it. Then she opened it so the camera could see a mouthful of this thick milk white stuff, and she swallows it and licks and sucks him more. Four girls with eyes bugged out watched in silence while the guy squirmed and shouted, and the girl sucked and swallowed.

"Girls", Jennifer said, "That is what a full blow job is, like it or not. That's what it looks like. But, I can tell you that when you are with someone you love, it is making love, not a blowjob, and can be beautiful. We all laughed at this, but it is pretty downgrading to women."

"That may be true", Kim, said, "But, this whole performance was for the sake of sexual entertainment, and quite frankly, I was entertained, and I learned a few things."

The rest of us were pretty much quiet and did not participate in the short lived tete-a-tete.

I think we were all anxious to see the next scene and I wondered how hot that first one had made the others. I know I was a little warm down below.

The next few scenes offered more of the same, script and acting wise. The same guy with the huge penis having oral sex with some young girl, then screwing her brains out and having his orgasm either in her mouth or on her face. We made fun of the noises the girls made and were having a general good time, but were bored after seeing the same thing over and over. At least now I knew what a penis really looked like, and what sex acts looked like.