Chapter 9

The next morning Ali arrived at the office early. She thought she would be opening it up but was surprised to see all the other girls were already there. They were sitting around the table in the conference room and jumped up as she entered.

Sandy looked embarrassed and said, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Clifford. It's all my fault. Judy and Kathy were here when I arrived and then Joan came in. I said it was all right to have coffee in the conference room." Kathy took the opportunity to whisper to Ali that Sandy had brought in coffee cake for the office.

Ali looked down at her waist and then looked at the coffee cake. "Do you think I dare?" she asked no one in particular. The next thing she knew, she was hit on the head with an empty Styrofoam cup.

She looked at Sandy and saw her grinning. "That is the absolute end, Mrs. Clifford. I can't take it! If you can't eat it, no one here can. And I don't think any of us are fat."

"Why Sandra Harris, I do believe you assaulted me. In fact, I might be able to persuade the jury it was a battery. Joan, you're the Lexis whiz, what do you think? I may even be bruised! Cut, even. You can't be too careful with that sharp Styrofoam."

Joan Fredrick came over to Ali and pretended to look at her scalp. "I think I can almost see where you were assaulted, Mrs. Clifford. Should I call the police?"

Suddenly Ali's face turned grim and she said, "The police will be here to pick up the pieces after a real-life remake of The Texas Chain-Saw Massacre if you clowns don't stop calling me Mrs. Clifford. The name is Ali! I'm old enough without you teenyboppers trying to put me in a wheelchair!"

She wheeled on Sandy and said, "And as for you! Did you bring in the coffee cake?"

Sandy turned beet-red and nodded. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Clifford — no, I mean Ali — I did. I'm sorry and it won't happen again."

Suddenly Ali smiled her sunshine smile and said, "Why, in hell, not? I think it's a great idea." After taking a bite, she added, "It's great coffee cake, too. Just be sure it's on your expense account."

"I beg your pardon?" Sandy said, puzzled.

"Buying goodies for the office is a firm function, Miss Harris, it is not a personal expense. But you all better be sure you workout today in the health club. I will not be a party to creating a bunch of lard-asses. Incidentally, I think this is a great idea. Do we have any orange juice?"

Joan Fredrick blushed. "I'm sorry, Ali. I'm responsible for our stores and didn't get any."

Again Ali smiled her brilliant smile. "Would you teenyboppers quit being so damned apologetic? And as for you, Mrs. Carlson, where in hell is my coffee? Don't you have any sense of priorities?"

Kathy grinned at Ali and pretended to shake. She brought her the coffee, stripped off her shirtwaist dress and knelt on the floor. "Please, Mrs. Clifford, not more than ten lashes! I promise it will never happen again."

Kathy was jack-knifed over with her forehead touching the floor. Ali took advantage of the opportunity and started to tickle the girl's ribs. In a moment, she was rolling on the floor, laughing uncontrollably. Finally, she wrapped herself in a ball and Ali got up. Looking up from the floor, Kathy's eyes were glinting with laughter. "Please, Ali, the whip. I can't take being tickled. May I buy you a whip at lunchtime?"

Ali grinned at her secretary and said to the group, "Kathy's bragging. She just wanted an opportunity to show off her figure. Of course, Kathy, you are getting a little heavy in the thighs, and your stomach..."

Kathy looked alarmed and looked down, first at her flat belly and then at her shapely thighs. The other girls started to howl with laughter. Joan said, "Don't worry about it, Kathy. You look great ... for a mere mortal. Not in the class with our exalted partners, but who is?"

Kathy quickly put her dress back on and the banter continued. Ali noticed that Sandy looked very pretty and was joining in. It was clear she was trying to get along with the other girls and appeared genuinely relaxed. Ali also noticed that she looked very feminine that morning.

She glanced at her watch and said, "Sandy, shall we get this show on the road?"

Sandy jumped up, went to her office to retrieve papers and then joined Ali in hers. "Ali, here's all the stuff and it's an impressive stack. We have a summons and complaint for slander, breech of contract, and a RICO complaint for triple damages. We are alleging a conspiracy, sustained over time, designed to deprive you of your civil rights. Then there is more Federal stuff, including a violation of your civil rights. We even have a California criminal complaint for grand theft: your residuals.

"Incidentally, Ali, guess what we found? In your papers were copies of three letters you sent to the studio formally requesting your residual payments for the television use of your films. None were answered." She smiled at Ali and continued, "Boss, I think we have a very good case. I can't wait to get it to court!"

Ali grinned and said, "Okay, coach, put me in! We'll take my car. I have an idea to surprise Si Goldberg. Shall we?" They went down to the garage and took Ali's convertible. "Which car is yours?" Ali asked.

Sandy looked at her and said wryly, "Guess."

"It has to be the Volvo. Right?"

"What else would a sober young attorney drive? It must be a serious car, after all." Sandy smiled at Ali and said, "Ali, would you do me a favor?"

"Sure," Ali replied, "what?"

"Ali, I'm still new at this relaxing business. Would you come with me to look at cars if we have some time this afternoon? For obvious reasons I'm getting rid of that one." She grinned at Ali and added, "It really is pretty tacky, isn't it? And Ali, could we drive with the top down? I get a sexy thrill from it ... I guess that's why I always avoided convertibles. But I love them! And could you come car shopping with me?"

"I would love to, Sandy. I won't comment on the rest, though."

They drove up to the gates of Alliance Studios. Fortunately it was where her hair stylist had his studio so she just waved at the guard who knew her. This time, however, she drove to the general offices. Ali was wearing a cord suit and a simple silk blouse. The girls got out of the car and walked in. Ali waved at the receptionist and walked into Goldberg's office. The door to his private office was open and she could hear him talking on the phone. His secretary looked up attentively, but Ali just smiled and walked by into the private office.

Goldberg looked up, startled. He told the other party that he would call him back and hung up. "What are you doing in here, Ali? You don't have an appointment."

"Of course not, Si. We have nothing to discuss. I just have a few things to deliver." As she was talking, she was opening her attaché case on his desk. "Here's one, and another, and another, and another. Si, you are now served with summons and complaints from both California and Federal courts. There's one here you'll particularly like: It's a California criminal warrant for your arrest for grand theft." She smiled at him and said, "Wear them in good health!" She closed her briefcase and started to leave.

"What is this shit?" he exclaimed. "You can't do this to me. I'll sue your ass!"

Ali smiled coldly, "I'm afraid you'll have to get in line. Right now, I'm suing you."

"Why you filthy bitch! I was just being nice to you. Some of my boys felt we should really do a number, but I told them it would be better if we just kept you from working and withheld your residuals. You don't have a case! I've got the best lawyers in town. You're just ... just a cheap two-bit little whore." He picked up the summonses and started to tear them up. "This is what I think of your fake legal documents!"

Ali just looked at him and said, "Your wonderful lawyers are going to be annoyed, Si. Now they won't even know what you're being sued for. And tearing up the criminal warrant is a no-no. You'll be hearing from the Los Angeles police." She smiled a very cold smile. "Good bye for now, Si. I'll see you in court."

With a scream of rage, Goldberg came charging around his desk with his arms outstretched. He screamed, "You bitch! I'll kill you!"

He looked like he was going to grab Ali by the throat and strangle her. Just as he was about to grab her, she moved. She drove the fingers of her right hand, held closely together, straight into his solar plexus. Goldberg folded up like a jackknife. Ali grabbed the back of his head with both hands and drove his face into her rising knee. There was a sickening crunch as his nose was smashed against her kneecap. The man collapsed on the floor moaning while Ali calmly gathered her things together and left with Sandy. Goldberg was just trying to sit up as they left his office. They could hear his obscenities as they walked out the door.

When they were headed back toward the office, Sandy breathed an audible sigh of relief. "Ali, what did you do? I'm a shrinking violet. I was scared stiff when he came charging around his desk at you. He had blood in his eyes, and I thought I was about to be the witness to a murder. Suddenly you moved and he folded up. What did you do?"

Ali grinned and replied, "It comes from a misspent youth. As you probably gathered from the files, I didn't get along with the powers that be in the studio, so I started to hang out with the stunt people. They're good folks who generally have their heads screwed on straight. Anyway, they're always practicing moves of one kind or another.

"What you saw was a karate knife. You hold your fingers together and drive it in like a knife blade at the solar plexus. If you do it right — get the right spot — you can feel the backbone with your fingertips. I got it right this morning. Si folded up and I just grabbed his head and mashed his nose on my knee." She glanced at Sandy and asked, "Did I do all right?"

Ali could see Sandy grin out of the corner of her eye. "Ali, you were perfect. May I please apologize? This morning Kathy took off her dress and prostrated herself on the floor. Maybe she'll let me borrow the whip. God, what a fool I've been! Here I was running off at the mouth yesterday about how you are subjugated by men! All I can say is I would love to be as downtrodden as you are. And then you level that slob this morning without mussing your hair. Ali, I'm an idiot." She smiled ruefully, then brightened. "I hope your tape recorder worked. Did you remember to turn it on?"