Chapter 23

Bill returned to the microphone and was about to call on his son, Bill, for a final toast when Ken Carlson rose from his seat. He said, "Mr. Clifford, we've heard a number of stories this afternoon that were pretty good. However, this was billed earlier as a gripe session. Sir, you haven't heard yet from the people who really have something to gripe about: the men. With your permission, sir, I would like to say a few words."

Bill grinned, thinking about all the jokes regarding the Clifford & Jamison's Husbands' Protective Association, many of which he had originated himself. "Come ahead, Ken. I think you may really be on to something."

Ken came up to the podium carrying a chair with Kathy following behind him. When Bill asked about Kathy's presence, Ken replied with a grin, "Sir, this afternoon my wife is going to serve as a sort of teaching aid ... although she doesn't yet know how." He placed the chair for Kathy and gave her a warm kiss.

Then he went to the microphone and waited for the conversational buzz to die down. The women were particularly interested because while they each knew pretty well what the other women were going to say, Ken's presence was a complete mystery.

Ken Carlson, Kathy's husband was a very good-looking young man standing six feet three with a very powerful build. All Bill knew was that he was finishing that spring at UCLA Law School and they were now working out together. Ken began, "Good afternoon. I would like to tell you folks a short story about a family: the Carlson family.

"You see, Kathy and I are different. I realized today that a year ago, none of the couples here were together. Everything you heard so far today has happened since Bill and Ali Clifford were married one year ago. Or almost everything. You see, Kathy and I were already married when the events you have already heard about began to unfold.

"I served as an infantry officer in the Army. When I completed my service, I was engaged to marry Kathy Hughes. We were engaged through my first awful year of law school and married the following summer. We are both from small towns in northern California and were new to Los Angeles. Our honeymoon was very nice and we came here to our little apartment to live. Our life together was idyllic ... or at least it was American standard.

"After the first rush of passion on our honeymoon, we settled into the standard fare. Every Saturday night after putting her hair up in rollers and putting on her face cream, Kathy would climb into bed, pull the hem of her nightgown up towards her waist and spread her legs. Of course, we had the TV next to the bed so Kathy could watch it while I entertained myself between her thighs."

As he said it, he could hear Kathy, sitting behind him, trying to muffle her giggles. Without even looking, he knew that her head was bobbing up and down in agreement.

"Kathy was really great, though. When I finished, she tried not to make a face but would wait for the next commercial break to go into the bathroom and douche herself. She was really passionate, though. We heard of some wives who could read a book while their husbands were playing, but with Kathy's passion running so high, it was all she could do to follow the jokes on Saturday Night Live." Ken stopped as the audience cracked up with laughter.

"What's so funny?" he inquired, appearing to be puzzled. "Isn't that the way all American married couples behave? Anyway, our sex life was pretty good. For example, if I squeezed one of her buns, she didn't even slap my face very hard. If I tried to feel her tit, she was relatively gentle when she poked her elbow in my stomach. Of course, it was a little hard to reach her tit, protected as it was by the armor of the serviceable bra she always wore."

Kathy's giggles had now turned into full-bore laughter. Turning to her he asked, "What's so funny? It's true, isn't it?"

Tears of laughter were running down her face but she was able to say, "Absolutely, darling. Everything you have said has been the God's honest truth." Rising to her feet so the people could see her, she said, "Except for one thing. I was slapping you and poking you as hard as I could. It was just that I wasn't very strong in those days."

Kathy looked gorgeous in a green strapless cocktail dress held up only by her proud young breasts. She had a golden tan and there were beautiful blonde sun streaks through her lovely brown hair. Her figure was slender and perfect. She sat down again but continued to giggle, remembering.

"Oh," Ken exclaimed, "I nearly forgot. In those days Kath had a classic female figure. You know, with lots of nice padding on her hips and upper thighs, and a nice soft ass that provided lots of cushioning. And tits? Hers were like warm white marshmallows, but not quite that firm. In those days she had a lovely milky complexion ... You know, sort of like nice white library paste?"

This time Kathy's burst of laughter stopped him. Turning, he saw his wife doubled up in the chair with laughter while still trying to nod her head in agreement.

Ken shook his head, feigning puzzlement, and continued, "Our life together? Wonderful. Keep in mind I was in school. When I came home there were no distractions. I was served a gourmet meal from some can or other — on weekends we sometimes went hog wild with TV dinners — and then I got to my studying. Nothing interfered. Sometimes I would start to feel sort of amorous, but that feeling was easily handled. Unless it was Saturday, Kathy inevitably had a headache. But as I said, there was a lot of romance in our life together: Kathy kissed me goodnight almost every day.

"This continued until about this time last year. We were starting to have money problems. Since we were operating on my savings, student loans and military educational benefits, money was pretty tight. Unfortunately, a gap was starting to open up between income and outgo, and it looked like it would only get worse. You see, Kathy wasn't working then. She had a full day keeping up with the soap operas..."

After looking around the room, Ken demanded, "Why do you look so skeptical? Do you realize how complex some of those plots are? Do you honestly believe that you can follow their ins and outs without careful attention to the stories each day?"

With a quick grin he continued, "But I digress. At any rate, Kathy had worked as a legal secretary back home, and learned of a new law firm here in LA that was hiring. She went downtown and when she got home, she was pretty excited. It looked like she was going to get the job, but that wasn't what she wanted to talk about. All she could talk about was the most beautiful green-eyed, auburn-haired girl who was one of the name partners.

"Life continued along at the Carlson manse without many changes. Now, of course, meals were more abbreviated because Kathy had to work. What it came down to was I had a choice of cans: pick one. But that was fine because I had a lot of time to get my work done. A few weeks later, though, things started to change, although I didn't notice it right away. First, she came home bubbling one night. It turned out that the senior partner, Mrs. Clifford, had appeared that day. All Kathy could talk about was the golden vision with eyes as blue as the Pacific.

"I didn't know what to make of it," Ken said looking around the room puzzled. "My wife almost sounded like she was becoming a lesbian or something. That night I noticed the first change. Kathy pulled the shoulder strap of her nightgown down at least two inches and looked at herself in the mirror. I was almost certain she was admiring her pale complexion, but there seemed to be more to it. Hell," he said abruptly, "I couldn't figure it out."

Ken paused and looked around the room and there was a look of foreboding on his features as he continued, "Then things started to change. The most remarkable thing I noticed was coming home one night and finding Kathy at the sink — peeling a carrot! All by herself, too. I didn't think she knew what a carrot looked like, except for a picture on the can." Again, there was an explosion of laughter from Kathy sitting behind him.

"Awhile later, things really began to get out of hand. One night I came up behind her, again at the sink, and tried to grab a feel of her tit. The first shock came when I reached into her blouse and touched — a bare tit! There was no bra!"

Ken looked around the room conveying his sense of surprise. "But that wasn't the end. I guess I was so stunned at feeling her warm tit, I was almost completely unaware of what happened next. Do you know what she did? Did she clobber me like any good girl would? Hell, no! She just turned her head and raised her lips for a kiss, while she just leaned back against me. I didn't know what to do, so I kissed her. Then she just murmured, 'Thank you, darling. Did you like it? Is it firm enough for you?'

"Can you believe it?

"The next time, I was behind her and was going to squeeze her bun. I reached under her skirt and was shocked. She wasn't wearing her girdle! There was no armor left. But it immediately got much worse. She put her hands on the edge of the sink for support, then pulled up her skirt in the back and whispered, 'Darling, why don't you just pull down my bikini and take me like this?' I was so stunned, I did. I lifted her spread legs and entered her from the rear while she kept peeling the carrot. When I came in her she dropped the carrot and the peeler and screamed with the ecstasy of her own cuming.

"Now things started going down hill at a hell of a rate. For some reason, her headaches went away. She would even allow me to make love to her during the week!" Looking around the room, Ken now had a sorrowful look on his face. He said, "I don't want to bore you with the details. Let me just fill you in on a couple of events and then come forward to the present.

"First, in late fall last year, Kathy came home in a state of shock. You see, she was earning $25,000 a year, and we were both delighted. First, she came home with a check for $5,000 — it was some type of bonus. That came after I told Kathy how much I loved her and how much our life together had changed." Ken grimaced and added, "I should have kept my big mouth shut!

"There were other changes. I was reminded by Karen Gaudli earlier." Turning to Bill, Ken said, "Just a comment on Karen's competence in English. Mostly, she gets it right, but I miss the 'like ... you know' that American kids use to salt their speech. Bill, you'll have to tell her that one cannot have real American speech without dropping the word 'like' at random at least three times in each sentence." There was a pause as the guests again broke up with laughter.

Then he continued, "As I was saying, she reminded me. It came shortly after the bonus. When I came home and looked in the refrigerator, I see a bottle of Dom Pérignon. I ask Kathy about it, but she was uncharacteristically vague. Later, I found out." Ken rolled his eyes and repeated, "Did I ever find out!

"We were in bed, and Kathy was nude — the nightgowns had disappeared. I was reading when suddenly I feel this wonderful sensation in my groin. I look down and Kathy is just kneeling beside me, fondling my sex. The next thing I know she is between my legs, working on me with her mouth. When I cum, she's swallowing as fast as she can. I was utterly stunned.

"The first time I mentioned that possibility to her, she slapped me so hard it loosened two teeth, so — being a fast learner — I gave up on the idea. But she had done it on her own! It wasn't over, though. She hops out of bed and goes out to the kitchen, without even a bathrobe, by the way — another first. She comes padding back with the champagne, pops the cork, and pours two glasses. She sips hers, smiles and licks her lips.

"You know what she says?" he asked, looking around the room. "She said, 'Darling, Ali is right. You are delicious washed down with Dom Pérignon!'"

At this point Ken blushed and added, "She got back into bed, looked at me, and spread her legs. One of her fingers was playing with her slit. There was a visible wanting in her eyes, so I went between her legs and went down on her." Looking around the room again he grinned and added, "For those of you who may not know it, a woman's love juices are marvelous washed down with champagne, too.

"Then in December, Kathy came home so excited, she couldn't even speak. All she could do was show me a check, payable to her, for $35,000. She could only mumble something about a bonus. The next thing was the Christmas party. It was my first opportunity to meet these paragons up close. I was introduced to Ali Clifford and my jaw dropped. If I remember correctly, I was utterly incoherent. All I could do was to ask her who she wanted us to kill." Ken stopped speaking and again looked around. "Want to know something? If Ali had given me a name, I probably would have.

"Let me jump ahead to the present so you can see the problem in perspective. First, Kathy's appearance. Now she is slim and golden with wonderful firm tits. The funny thing is, I don't think she actually lost any weight. She just ... rearranged ... the pounds a bit. Our sex life? The woman is utterly insatiable! But it is so much worse. She is diabolical! Honest, she is.

"Remember me talking about our gourmet cuisine from a can? I haven't seen a can in months. Kathy is a gourmet chef, and that's part of the diabolical plot. Now, if you'll excuse the bluntness, my balls are drained absolutely dry. I hide out at the law library to keep away from her constant physical attacks on my body.

"The devilishness? I get hungry. Then I'm starving. Now we even have the money to afford to eat out, so I could pick up a wonderful Big Mac at McDonald's." Ken looked crushed as he wailed, "But I can't! I really can't. I think of Kathy's food, my mouth begins to water, and I go home to the torture that I know will come. When I reach the apartment door, my knees weaken. I know the tortures in store for me, but I go in anyway! She is that diabolical — she makes me assist in my own physical destruction.

"When I unlock the door, the worst is over, you see, because now things are out of my hands. It starts the same way every night: Kathy is at the door and melts me with a kiss."

Looking sad, he said, "Let me digress for a moment. As some of you may know, the Eskimos have over thirty different words for snow. The words describe in some detail exactly what the snow is like. With Kathy, a full dictionary could be written with names assigned to her kisses. Each is different, but all melt me — I inevitably end up as a glob of warm mush.

"So the suspense begins at the door: What is tonight's kiss going to be like? Related to that is a broader question: What's in store for me tonight?

"What do I mean by that? Well, for example, one night Kathy was wearing a fitted top that accented her gorgeous chest, along with her gold necklace, gold earrings, and full makeup. (That was a change, too, because now she never wears any makeup.) The only thing was, she was wearing nothing below the waist except for black heels." Ken appeared to remember something and snapped his fingers, "Oh! I almost forgot! She had carefully rouged her nether lips to highlight her cunt. Another night she was wearing a floor-length black skirt — and nothing else. Later in the evening, I found out that what had appeared to be a normal skirt, wasn't. It turned out that it was fabricated with four panels, each only attached to the waist band, but not attached to each other. The panels were attached to overlap one another. It appeared to be an intact skirt until Kathy moved her leg. She took my hand and showed me where the openings were. But most often, she's nude"

Looking around the room he asked, "Why are you all laughing? Have you ever tried to eat a gourmet meal while staring at the most beautiful pair of tits with the cutest little nipples God ever created?

"Food? My God, the food! The finest foods, wines, cheeses, desserts ... night after night after night. When we finish, she raises her arms and I'm expected to carry her to bed. Needless to say, Kathy no longer has a nightgown ... Or a bra ... Or a slip ... About all she has are a few fine clothes and a collection of Levi's which fit her like a second skin along with a bunch of washed-out chambray shirts. These she wears almost every day."

He just shook his head, remembering, then continued. "Now the moment of truth arrives: We're in bed, and my agony begins in earnest. She does the same thing every night: after undressing me, she kneels between my legs and worships my sex. She focuses on my balls, weighing them and gently kneading them between her fingers as she tries to figure how many episodes I will be able to handle that night before I'm drained dry again.

"I want to mention something else about the food: if it's thought to be an aphrodisiac, Kathy serves it. More to the point, my balls are larger than they've ever been. I guess when they're being used to the limit of capacity day after day after day, it will happen. Anyway, then Kathy figures out how she is going to empty me. Creative? Oh, God! Again, she uses her body to make me want to destroy myself. She's insidious!

"Oh, I nearly forgot! I said that each night begins with a kiss? Well, every night ends the same way: My balls are drained completely dry and they ache! Kathy knows it, too, so she will tenderly kiss my prick and lick my balls in appreciation. Of course, this follows my eating out her glorious cunt."

He looked around at the guests and said, "She insists. First, I need the good protein and second, look at the money she's saving by not having to buy douche products." Anyway, then she'll kiss my lips, put her head on my right shoulder, place my right hand on her tit, mold her body to mine and go to sleep. As I'm collapsing in exhaustion, I feel this magnificent body molding itself to mine.

"The mornings are the same, as well. If I awaken first, I lightly squeeze her tit. If she does, she squeezes my hand." Ken grinned and shook his head, adding, "Now we're playing a little game: To see how little pressure awakens the other. You would be amazed at how little it is now. Anyway, I roll between her widespread thighs and enter her.

"How I'm able to get up, I don't know, but I immediately drain any semen I may have accumulated overnight into her loins. Then, while I'm showering and shaving, Kathy is preparing an incredible breakfast which is on the table waiting for me when I come out. Of course, if it's a working day, she's impatient to get to work herself to see her buddies."

Ken looked around at the crowd and shook his head in dismay. "You hear me but you don't really understand, do you? Earlier, I described Kathy's appearance at the time of our marriage. I won't attempt to describe her appearance now." Turning to Kathy he said, "Darling, please take off all your clothes."

Kathy merely winked, then stepped out of her shoes, and unzipped her dress in the back, allowing it to fall to the floor. She slid her stockings down her legs and then slipped off her bikini. Coming around from behind the rostrum she stood with her head up straight and one leg slightly in front of the other.

Turning to Ken with her eyes shining as brilliantly as diamonds she asked softly, "Darling, do you approve?" He put his arms around her, pulled her close, and softly kissed her. As he did, he could feel her chafing her nipples on the material of his jacket.

Meanwhile, the guests had gasped and were gaping in amazement. This beautiful young woman's body was now revealed to be feminine perfection. Her breasts were thrusting upward proudly with no need for any support. Her stomach was flat, and there were a series of magnificent curves flowing from her slim waist to her slender hips, and down her gorgeous legs. Her buns were small and very firm. Ken eased away from her, swallowed hard, and asked, "Honey, will you just walk down to the end of the head table and then come back?" She did as he asked, and then looked up at him quizzically.

Ken looked around at the guests and said, "Perhaps I owe you an apology, and I guess I owe my wife one. What are we doing with a nude woman at a wedding reception — particularly when she's not even the bride?"

He grinned and answered his own question. "Well, first of all, this isn't really an ordinary wedding reception as I'm sure you've all found out already. But beyond that, I realized there was no bachelor party last night — primarily because Bill Clifford wasn't a bachelor. Nevertheless, bachelor parties are famous — in cartoons, at least — for having a nude girl appear out of a cake. We don't have the fake cake, but we do have my wife, Kathy.

"The real reason, though, is what I alluded to earlier: she's my necessary teaching aid. Remember how I described her breasts when we were first married? Like marshmallows, but not nearly that firm? Now look."