Chapter 1

Jim Lewis was finishing up his law degree at a large western university when his life changed for the better. He was 25 with rugged good looks; 6' 1" 190 pounds with brown hair and brown eyes and a two-inch scar across his chin from an errant lacrosse stick. He always said the scar gave him character.

In spite of his chosen field, Jim was basically a shy and unassuming guy. His shyness made him uncomfortable around women and therefore he didn't date much. It wasn't for a lack of opportunity. In fact, women seemed to like his shyness and quiet nature.

Sally was a pretty girl, 5' 5" with brown hair and blue eyes. She was an undergraduate, in her junior year, working on her degree in elementary education. Sally was passionate about her career choice and wanted to change the world, one child at a time if necessary.

Jim and Sally met at a fraternity party when a mutual friend introduced them.

Jim was immediately taken with Sally's beauty and intelligence. From the minute they were introduced, Jim knew that there was something special about Sally. He felt very comfortable around her with no need to impress. They were inseparable and dated for the rest of the school year. The day Jim graduated, he gave Sally a ring and asked her to marry him. He was in heaven when she said yes.

A year later, they were a happily married couple, he a green lawyer in a large firm and she a student teacher at a small elementary school. Life was good for them both. They worked hard, struggling, like all young couples, to make ends meet. But these were good times; both had their causes and were passionate in their work.

Sally and Jim's sex life was good if not spectacular. Jim was not very experienced sexually but wanted to try new and different things but Sally's upbringing would never allow her to really let go. Jim accepted Sally's reluctance and convinced himself that it didn't matter; he loved her with all his heart.

Children were definitely in their plans. However, they had agreed that they would wait until they were established and had the things they needed to make a comfortable home. There was plenty of time to start a family.

Jim was 34 and Sally 29 when they began to try to have children. Jim was established in his law firm and had a bright future. Sally was tenured in her elementary school. They had a pretty house with two acres of ground in a quiet neighborhood. It was a perfect time for them to start their family.

Unfortunately life sometimes has a way of changing plans. They tried to get pregnant for a year before they went for help. Sally had a battery of tests and Jim went through the embarrassment of having his sperm count tested. Jim's results came back fine; Sally's were less encouraging. There was something suspicious in the test results that required further investigation.

Sally went for another round of tests and waited a long week for the results. There is no way to describe the shock for both of them when the doctor said that Sally had cancer. As a result Sally would never be able to have children. Their immediate thoughts focused on the fact that Sally couldn't get pregnant and that they would never have the children they desperately wanted. They were feeling sorry for themselves, naively thinking that Sally could be treated for the cancer. That thought would haunt Jim for years.

After a long and torturous year of radiation and chemotherapy, Sally succumbed to her disease, leaving Jim a shocked and angry widower at 35 years old.

Jim went into a dark shell, blocking out friends and family, refusing to show emotions or let anyone get close anymore. He threw himself into his work, working 16-hour days, becoming a highly skilled and aggressive attorney. He was rewarded richly and at 38 became the youngest full partner that his law firm had ever made.

To the outside world, Jim was a bright successful attorney with everything going for him. However, inside he died with Sally. He hid his emotions, blocking out both joy and sadness, isolating himself in a world of darkness. He never dated, his job taking most of his time. The day that he made full partner should have been one of the greatest days of his life. Instead, he went home and drank himself into a drunken stupor, alone.