"What on earth is that?" My current boyfriend is holding out a small package.

"Take it. It's a condom." He's a little embarrassed.

"What do we need that for? I'm on the pill." He's embarrassed, I think he's being stupid.

"Look, you mentioned you wanted to do something different. This is something we've never done before." Now he's exasperated.

"That wasn't what I had in mind." What is it with guys? I thought I'd heard everything. But, a guy who thinks sex while using a condom is something different? That's mindless. I tell him so.

"No it's not. Look, this is important. I've never yet needed to use a condom but someday I might. If we stay together, do you plan on staying on the pill forever? That's not exactly wise you know. Especially if you someday decide to have kids. You going to stop getting fucked while your body decides to get ready to get pregnant?"

Oops. Sometimes he has moments of brilliance. "OK, you've made your point. Now, what's the rest of this brilliant plan of yours?"

"Hell if I know. I remember reading somewhere that a condom can be put on as part of foreplay. Makes more sense than 'whoa, don't put that in there until I have a chance to cover it.' "

He's still holding out the package. Gingerly, I take it. Weird. How come I'm embarrassed to be holding it? He was the one who asked if I was on the pill or if he would have to take precautions during sex. Now he's showing me that his concern was real. He's thought about this more than I have.

Damn, the fine print is just that. I can barely make it out. Yeah yeah... I know. This isn't guaranteed to be infallible or do anything other than make the money for the maker. Oh, wait. There's some instructions here.

'Place on penis before intromission occurs.' I stare at it. I hold it up so he can read it. I'm gratified when I see him blink in surprise.

"Helpful aren't they?" My tone is droll.

"Yeah. Helpful."

We look at each other. The unspoken question hangs there. 'What next?'

I finally shrug and open the package. I pull the condom out.

"This is a condom?" All I see is a rubber ring with a film stretched across the center. I study it.

I look at it and then at his penis. I look back at the condom. This is silly. I'm an adult. How come I never paid attention to this aspect of adulthood. For that matter... "Well? You're the one this is supposed to fit." I hold it up.