Chapter 15: Nylons & Telephones

Kathy and Christi found Mommy watching television in the living room.

"Hi, girls, I was just catching up on my soap opera. I've been taping 'O's Children for months, but Billy and the boys have been keeping me so busy after school I really haven't had time to watch," Mommy smiled and made room for the girls on either side of her on the couch.

Kathy was surprised, "and just where is my 'dear' brother and the acne brigade?"

"They're across the street welcoming our new neighbours. Didn't you see the moving van when you came back from the hotel Sunday?"

"No, I guess I didn't." Kathy didn't want to admit that she'd been too busy wrapping nylon around Christi's supple neck to notice anything else.

Well," Mommy sighed, "Melissa and Todd don't have kids, so I sent Becky and Billy over as a housewarming gift. And your brother invited his friends along, which" -- she put her arms around the girls' bare shoulders and drew them close -- "leaves me just sitting here high and dry with nothing to do but watch my soap until Daddy gets home."

Ring, ring, ring went the telephone, breaking the three-way girl heat that was just beginning to simmer on the couch.

Mommy picked up the cordless phone. It was Daddy, he was going out of town on business and wouldn't be back until late Saturday. "Okay, dear, we'll leave all the doors unlocked and keep the red porch light on 'til you get back. Love you."

Mommy hung up the receiver. "Now, you girls haven't told me how you got those pretty purple bruises around your necks. Have you two been playing hangman?" she teased as she leaned over to kiss Kathy's moist lips.

Christi was slipping off a nylon to answer Mommy's question when the phone rang again.

"Oh, hello, Officer Ray!" Mommy stood up so quickly that Christi's noose missed entirely. The blue-eyed brunette hurriedly put her stocking back on so she wouldn't spoil the surprise.

"No, no, you're right, Officer Ray, tiny criminals can hide anywhere, even there," Mommy giggled. "That's true, it's better to be safe than sorry. What? I think that would be lovely."

Mommy turned to the girls, "Officer Ray says there are some very... tiny... criminals hiding out in the neighbourhood." She giggled again at the silliness of the subterfuge, "so he and Mrs. Potter from the county home want to come over and give us full cavity searches. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

"Mrs. Potter lives right down the street from us," Christi cheered, "my mom says she gives the best cavity searches in town!"

"Yes, yes, yes," Kathy bounced up and down. Maybe Officer Ray would bring a message from darling Mr. Barnes.

Mommy spoke into the phone, "that would be fine, Officer Ray. No, Daddy's out of town and Becky and Billy are staying with neighbours, so it's just Kathy and her new friend Christi... and me.

"And, I hope you have time to fill me in with more of your rivetting stories," Mommy was practically drooling into the mouthpiece. "Great! See you in a half-hour, then. Bye-bye."

"Okay, ladies," Mommy enthused, "who's ready for a nice soap and Demerol enema? We don't want Mrs. Potter finding any incriminating evidence when she searches our poop chutes!"

"Mommy, you're the greatest! You think of everything," Kathy squealed as she pulled Christi off the couch and up the staircase.