Chapter 1

Hi - my name is Vanessa, and this is a journal of my life since I decided to make some drastic changes to it.

Background As I said, my name is Vanessa; I am a 22 year old Hairdresser, long, almost Blond hair, 5 foot 1 inch tall, with a 34A-24-35, 95 pound figure. I'm not a stunner to look at, just your average young woman. I've never had a great deal of luck with men, and have been on my own for a few months now (I live on my own in a little Flat). My friends say that I should be more outgoing, but that's just not me. I live in a small town in North Wales where life is so dull and boring, and everyone knows everyone else's business.

I started getting ideas when one of my colleges, Mandy, found a Bondage and Discipline magazine with the other magazines in the Salon's waiting area. She was going to throw it in the rubbish bin, but I asked her to leave it where it was, saying that it would spice-up the place a bit. That afternoon, I deliberately kept myself busy, and hung around until all the other girls had gone home saying that I would lock-up when I'd finished, nothing special in that, one of us often stays back to finish something. Next afternoon, Mandy was looking for 'that' magazine, but couldn't find it. I said that one of the customers had probably pinched it. What I didn't say was that it was me that took it home with me the previous afternoon.

Ever since I was a little girl of about 10 or 11, whenever my Dad spanked me for being a bad girl, I used to get these funny feelings, not the pain, but I suppose that that must have had something to do with it. As I got older, I used to get a bit 'wet', and couldn't understand it. I used to almost look forward to the spankings, especially the ones where Dad would make me take my skirt and knickers off before putting me over his knee. Once I had discovered masturbation I would always have a good play with myself in bed afterwards. The last spanking that Dad gave me was when I was nearly 18. I'd stayed out late with my friends once too often, and Dad could smell the alcohol on me when I got home. He really gave me a good thrashing that night, and he was that mad that he made me take all of my clothes off first.

My Mum wasn't any help, she just said that I had been bad and deserved to be punished. It didn't help that my 13 year old brother was in the same room all the time. I was so embarrassed, and boy, did my backside glow, but at the same time I was getting so wet that I was sure that Dad would say something.

A few months later, I got the chance to move into a Flat with a female friend and I did. In a way I missed the spankings, and the feelings that went with them. I once managed to get one of my boyfriends to spank me, he didn't enjoy it, but I did.

Right, that's enough of the history, now to how I changed my life forever. When I got home with 'that' magazine, I read it over and over. I was really intrigued by the stories and the pictures. It was all new to me, nobody around me ever talked about anything remotely like that. I kept reading it over and over again over the next couple of weeks, and when it was quiet in the Salon, I usually ended up thinking about what I had read and seen. I had to wash a lot of knickers at the end of those weeks. One time when I was reading the adverts again, one suddenly jumped-out at me, and I started thinking 'could I'? Well, after a few days, I decided that I would reply to the advert and see what happened.

The ad was from a middle-aged man in the East Midlands of England, who was looking for a 'submissive, live-in house-keeper'. I wrote a letter explaining a bit about myself, and after a few times of losing my nerve, I finally posting it. About a week later, I received a letter from him, and got all excited reading it on the bus on the way to work. In the letter he explained that the job would not be very demanding, and wouldn't pay much, but there again, I wouldn't have much to buy, as he would buy everything for me. He also explained that I should expect to be punished every time that I made a mistake, or was disobedient. He also enclosed a photograph of himself, and asked that if I was still interested, then I should write to him again and enclose a photograph of myself, preferably without clothes on. Well, I didn't have any photos like that, so when I wrote again, I enclosed a photograph of me in a bikini, and apologised saying that even if I had dared to get any nude photographs taken, I could never get them developed in the town where I lived.

When Jon wrote to me again, he told me a bit more about the job, the hours, and what he would expect of me. He also explained that punishment comes in more forms than just spankings, and referred me to the magazine that the advert had been in. He then stated that I was to go over to his place for the weekend for a formal interview, and for us to 'get to know each other' before a final commitment would be made by either of us. He also assured me that no harm would come to me, that I could leave at anytime and that he would pay all my expenses. I was to send him a letter stating which bus or train I would be arriving on, and that he would meet me at the station.

Well, it's one thing writing to someone, but another thing actually going to their house for a weekend when you haven't even met them. I was in a right quandary. I spent the next couple of days trying to make up my mind what to do. I wasn't concentrating on my job, and got told-off a few times. Looking back, I suppose that that helped me to make a decision. I checked the bus times, booked a ticket, and wrote a quick note to Jon. I would be arriving at eight-fifteen the following Friday. For me, this took a lot of courage, and if it wasn't for the fact that I desperately needed for something interesting to happen in my life, that Jon's letters and photograph gave me the impression that he was an alright sort of man. That the thought of the magazine turned me on every time I thought about it; then, I just wouldn't have been going. On the Friday morning before leaving, I got another letter from Jon saying that I was to wear smart clothes for the interview, and that trousers or jeans didn't come into that category as far as he was concerned. That didn't please me too much as it was April, and in the UK, April is never a warm month. Never mind I thought, I wanted to look my best, and spent hours deciding what to take with me, and doing my make-up. I was glad that I had decided to take the whole day off work. In the end, I decided that I would wear a mini-skirt and white blouse, both of which I had made myself. I was quite proud of the fact that I could make a lot of my own clothes, and this short pleated skirt and thin blouse looked good on me.

The journey took five hours, and I had to change twice. If I hadn't been so excited, I'm sure that I would have been quite tired when I got there. Not a good way to be at an interview, and the excitement stopped me from getting any sleep.

When I finally got there, I had my bag in one hand and the photograph of Jon in the other, and walked all over the bus station without finding him. I was just beginning to get a bit worried when a car stopped beside me and Jon jumped out. He just apologised for being late, told me to put my bag in the back, and got back in. As we were driving away he said that he often had to work late, which was one of the reasons why he wanted a housekeeper. Before I knew it, we were pulling into a pub car park. I followed him into the pub, and we sat at a table and waited to be served. This was one of those pubs that have a restaurant attached, and Jon had just assumed that I was hungry. Over the meal and a few drinks, we just talked about our lives in general, never touching on the subject of discipline at all. Well, not until a couple of hours later after I had had a few drinks. I was a bit nervous, and was looking for some Dutch courage. All of a sudden, Jon stated asking about the times that my Dad had spanked me. He wanted to know all the details, everyone who was there, what state of dress I was in, what I was feeling, during and after the spankings. He even asked me to describe how I played with myself afterwards. This was something that I would never have dreamed I would talk about, yet here I was telling this stranger all my most intimate thoughts. It just seemed right, and I imagine the alcohol helped. As we walked out of the pub, I was feeling quite happy, and was beginning to like Jon. We got back in the car and drove to Jon's house, which was only a few hundred yards down the road. It wasn't a big house, just your average small-detached house with four bedrooms, and a view out the back over the fields. Jon showed me round the place, and which room I was to use, and then made some coffee. It was just general chat over the coffee, and then Jon said that he had had a hard week, and was going to bed. The real interview would start at nine in the morning. I went to bed thinking that this was going to be easy. It was a very happy Vanessa that went to sleep that night.

Saturday April 18 - The Interview I woke up at eight fifteen the next morning, got washed and then thought about what I should wear. I didn't want to look too casual as I was going to an Interview. I decided on a different skirt and blouse, got dressed and went downstairs. Jon was in the kitchen eating his breakfast, and after saying good morning, told me to help myself to anything I wanted. I put some bread in the toaster and poured some coffee. At nine o'clock Jon called me into the living room and said that he was ready to start.

To start with, he told me that the hours I would have to work would not be specific times, as he was at work a lot, and came home at different times most days. I would be expected to work as and when required to complete my duties. These included keeping the house clean, the cooking, the washing and the shopping. He would get me a credit card to use, but he would carefully monitor the bills. I would be permitted to have friend over to the house whenever I wanted, and could use the telephone for reasonable calls. As he did not expect that my duties would take up a lot of my time, he would not mind if I was to look for a part-time job, perhaps working in a pub. I was then asked if I had a driving licence, and if I could sew. I was suddenly glad that I had spent the money on learning to drive.

He then asked why I had applied for the job, so I told him again about being in a 'rut', and wanting a change. "But why reply to my advert in the magazine he asked." I told him all about my feelings when reading the magazine, and decided that I wanted to give it a try. Which is precisely why the advert was in that magazine he said. "But there would have to be a strict set of rules, and if broken, you must expect to be punished, and by punishment, I just don't mean spanking he said, punishment can be mental as well, for example embarrassment or humiliation." I then asked him about the rules, and he produced a piece of paper and passed it to me. He said that it was only fair that I knew what I was letting myself into, and that I could leave at anytime that I wanted to.

This is the list of rules: -

Smoking will not be permitted under any circumstances.

Unless specifically directed to, you will be expected to wear dresses or skirts at all times.

Trousers, leggings or tights will not be tolerated.

Stockings, either self supporting or with a suspender belt are acceptable.

All clothes purchased or hand made will be approved by me before being worn.

Unless specifically directed underwear will not be worn.

Spankings will be administered by means of hand, paddle, tawse, or any other item deemed appropriate.

Whenever you have had enough, and wish to stop, you will say the phrase 'chocolate teapot' 3 times.

Once you have, you will no longer be employed by me, and you will be expected to leave the premises within twenty-four hours.

Your employer reserves the rights to change these rules at any time.

I read the list, and whilst a little shocked, although I didn't really know what to expect. I thought that maybe it wouldn't be that bad, certainly worth a try. "OK" I said, "I'm happy with everything so far, what else is there"?

The test He then told me that I would not know if I were going to be offered the job until I was leaving to go home the next day. If I decided to accept the job, then I was to hand-in my notice the next day, and return with all my belongings, the next weekend. There was one more issue that had to be established before a job offer was made, and that was my level of obedience. This would be established between now and my leaving time the next day. Was this acceptable to me? After I said it was, he said 'stand -up and take all your clothes off'. Well, talk about sudden shock. It took me a couple of minutes to take in what he had actually said, but I did it, slowly, and with a very red face. I stood there with my hands trying to cover my breasts and my pussy, but he calmly told me to put my arms by my side. I was then told that sometime over the next day, I would receive one or two painful spankings, and that this weekend would be the only time that I would receive one without just cause. This didn't do anything to stop my embarrassment, but it did make me feel a little happier. He also said that from now on, when there was only the two of us around, I was to call him 'Master', and only to speak to him either when spoken to, or when I wished to ask a question.

Jon then got up and walked over to me. He told me to open my feet about a foot, which I did, and he then proceeded to walk slowly round me. When he went behind me for the second time, I felt a sudden pain in my right rear cheek. He had spanked me with his hand. I was then told to keep my legs straight and to touch my feet. This was very difficult and hurt my legs, but I made it. Then I thought about the view that he must have, and started to get those stirring feelings where he must have been looking. Just as I was starting to get wet, he told me to stand-up and he walked round in front of me and started to prod and then grab my breasts. He smiled and said, "Nice chapel hat pegs". He was referring to my large prominent nipples, which by this time were rock-hard. My face was still bright red with embarrassment, but there was worse to come. His hands slid down my chest and stomach and stopped at my light brown bush. He grabbed hold of it, tugged it and said, "This will have to go". My mouth dropped, I had never even thought about shaving it off. I had never even had to trim it to wear a bikini, there wasn't that much of it. I started to say that I couldn't possibly do that, but he reminded me of what I had agreed to, and asked me if I wished to change my mind and wanted to go home. My brain was saying yes, but the feeling in my pussy, and the juices running down my leg said no. I thought for a minute and remembered that I needed to change my life, and one of the stories in the magazine jumped into my mind. "No" I said. Jon suddenly said, "This is the one and only time that I will remind you to call me Master. Be slow in answering, and be insolent like that again, and you will suffer". "Yes Master" I replied. "Now go and get my razor and shaving cream from the bathroom.

When I got back down-stairs, he had moved into the kitchen. I went in, and he said, "Right, get what else you need, get on the table, and get that hair off". As you can imagine, Jon got an amazing view as I got on with the job. Just as I was finishing, my hand slipped off my slippery leg and knocked over the bowl of water. Jon was not happy, and told me to clean up the mess. After that, I was asked if I deserved punishing for making the mess. "Yes Master" I said, and was then told to bend over the table, open my legs about 2 feet, and grab hold of the other side of the table. "You are about to get ten slaps with my hand, I will not be counting, so you had better - out aloud, I'd hate for you to get more than you deserve". "Thank you Master" I said, and waited for him to start. Wow, he certainly had a strong arm, and by the time I had counted six, tears were rolling down my face. At eight, I lost my grip of the table and stood upright. "Right, that's another five he said, and that will happen every time you get up before being told to". I was about to scream "NO", but managed to keep my mouth shut - just. When it was finally over, Jon told me to get up, and then walked out of the room. When he came back ten minutes later, I had just about stopped crying, but was still gently rubbing my sore backside. "Right he said, two more things before we go out, firstly sit on the floor, legs apart, and masturbate yourself to an orgasm, the kitchen tiles will cool down your ass". Well, I though, today is full of surprises, but the feelings that I was having in my pussy got rid of any doubts that I had, and I got down on the floor, opened my lips and put one finger inside me while my other hand got busy on my clit. My clit has always stuck out from between my lips, but by now it was hard, and the centre was trying to push its self out of its hood. It didn't take long before my head was rolling from side to side. I wanted to hold back with the scream as I came, but the build-up since my last orgasm weeks ago was just too great. I screamed a little, and Jon just smiled. After a couple of minutes I asked what the other thing was. Jon said, "I like your bald pussy so much that there is a new rule, you will shave-off all your hair below your neck every day. Now go and have a shower before we go out."

The shower was very nice, and I didn't want to get out. After a while I did though and got dried. Jon was waiting for me as I came out of the bathroom, and I asked what I was to wear. "Shoes and a coat only" was the reply. "Master" I said, "I can't do that, someone might see something, and beside it's cold out there". "You're not trying to argue with me are you"? "No Master". "Right then" he said, "get ready".

As we walked to the car I was very nervous, I felt so strange, I felt so exposed, yet I was covered by my coat. It took a while to realise that people couldn't see my body, but my bald pussy made me feel even more naked. We drove to the shopping centre in the middle of town and parked in the car park at one end, but instead of going into the shopping centre we walked down this shabby street and went into a sex shop. Yet another first for me. Jon told me to look round while he bought something. He didn't show me what, and I wasn't looking. I was very busy looking at all the 'toys'. We left and headed back to the shopping centre, which pleased me because I was getting cold. In the centre we wandered round a few shops, then went into a pub for a drink. After a couple of gin and tonics I started to relax a bit. It was then that Jon said, "Another rule - from now on, whenever I am near you, you will not cross your legs or feet". I was beginning to get used to these surprises by now, and did as I was told. The coat was long enough for me not to worry about what was showing. Just as I thought that we might be leaving, Jon gave me a little box and told me to go to the ladies room, and put the contents of the box into my vagina, and then return. He said that I might like to warm them in my mouth for a couple of minutes before inserting them. All this puzzled me, and as I was walking to the ladies, I was thinking 'what on earth could it be, or was it a them'? When I was safely locked in a cubicle, I opened the box and just didn't know what to do. The box contained two metal balls about half an inch in diameter, and were gold in colour. What were these for I thought, and if I do put them in, how can I keep them from falling out? After all, I didn't have any knickers on, and I didn't want them falling out onto the floor as I was walking along - in public! What was I going to do? This was becoming a time when I had to consider 'what the hell was I doing here'? am I mad? or am I just changing my life, and finally getting the excitement that I crave for? Well, I was certainly getting plenty of excitement, and I was getting lots of sexual excitement as well, even if it was embarrassing at times. Life had been so boring before this weekend, and I was starting to enjoy the thought of knowing that I was doing things that a lot of boring people would be shocked by. It was giving me a thrill. So, without even thinking, I put the balls into my mouth. After a couple of minutes I squatted down and inserted one of the balls. I pushed it up as far as I could, and then did the same with the other one. As the two came together, I'm sure I could hear a 'clink' as they touched. The thought of me 'clinking' down the street made me smile as I stood up and fastened my coat. As I opened the cubicle door and walked out, I stopped because I could feel them moving around, and thought that they were moving down me. I decided that I would have to walk squeezing my legs together. By the time I got back to Jon, I had a rosy smile on my face. The experience was turning me on. Amazing, two little balls were turning me on. Jon told me to lift the back of my coat and put my bare backside on the seat, and calm down before we moved on. "What the hell are these Master and how did you know I would like them"? "There called 'Ben Wa Balls' and I've read a few stories from women about them. They're a present from me, and you don't have to wait to be told to wear them, you can wear them anytime you like". "Thank you, thank you Master, I wish I had heard of them years ago, they're just amazing". "And that's when you've only walked 20 yards" said Jon. After a couple of minutes, Jon said, "Right then, lets go". We walked slowly out of the pub and down the road. All the time, I was struggling to contain myself. Just as I thought I was going to have to stop, Jon pulled me into this little dress shop. There was just one young female assistant and a couple of teenage girls in the shop. The assistant smiled at me and said that I looked happy. I blushed and said that I was. Jon and myself both started looking at dresses, but in different racks. We both found ones that we liked at about the same time, so Jon told me to try them both on. I went into the changing cubicle, took my coat off and put the first dress on. It was way too big, and had just taken it off when Jon pulled back the curtain. There I was, stark naked, in full view of the whole shop. It was a good job that no one was looking. I told Jon what the problem was, and Jon turned and called the assistant over. I hid behind Jon as he asked the assistant to swap it for a smaller size. As Jon walked away, I pulled the curtain closed and stood there waiting for him to return. I was stood facing the curtain waiting, when it opened again, but it wasn't Jon, he has asked the assistant to bring the smaller dress to me. We both stood there shocked, me stark naked with her staring at my bald pussy. She was the first one to recover and started unfastening the dress saying that she would help me with it. I was still too shocked to object. It was a front buttoning dress, and she put it on me, and started fastening the buttons. As she was moving down them, she was bending down and holding the unfastened part of the dress open. There she was, down on her knees with her face right in front of my pussy, struggling to fasten the bottom buttons. I was beginning to get embarrassed because of my arousal, and I could feel that my lips were all puffed up, and I was so wet that I thought she might drown if she got any closer. Just then, Jon came back and the assistant jumped up and left. This was the dress that I had picked, and Jon said that he didn't like it, and told me to take it off. Just as I was about to try the other dress on, Jon opened the curtain and left, taking my coat. Again, there I was, stark naked, in full view of the shop. This time, I wasn't as lucky, the two teenage girls were looking right at me, so was the assistant and another couple that had come into the shop. As I closed the curtain, I saw the assistant smile, and one of the girl's mouths dropped. This dress was quite nice, except for the fact that it was very short, and was slightly see-through. I stood there looking at myself in the mirror, and waiting for Jon to come back. After a while I looked round the curtain looking for Jon. He wasn't far away, and when I caught his eye he told me to come out and have a proper look at myself. As I was looking in the big mirrors, the bright light made the material even more transparent. This dress was very short, but that didn't stop Jon telling me to 'give us a twirl'. Now the skirt part of this dress was 'A' shaped, and as I spun round, the skirt part lifted up revealing everything that I'd got. The assistant was smiling and licking her lips, the girls were just staring, and the woman from the couple was pulling her man out of the shop. As I stopped, I realised that I was smiling at the couple, and wasn't at all embarrassed, in fact, I was enjoying it. Jon said 'very nice, but not quite you, take it off and I will find another for you". I don't know why, but I did take it off, right there in the shop with Jon and three young women watching. What had got into me? I suppose that Ben Wa had something to do with it.

Jon took the dress from me and asked the assistant to help him find something else. While they were looking, I just stood there, transferring my weight from one leg to the other, cupping my little breasts and looking at myself in the mirrors. The two girls were frozen. After a couple of minutes, Jon and the assistant came back with another dress, and Jon asked the assistant to help me with it. I went into the cubicle and the assistant followed, leaving the curtain open. Jon stayed outside just watching, like the girls, but they were not smiling, just frozen.

This dress was a pull-on, and was a very tight fit, so tight that the assistant had to put her hands all over me to be able to pull it down. As she was pulling it over my breasts her hands seemed to linger and rub my nipples. I would swear that she was gripping them between the backs of her fingers and pulling them with the dress. With nipples as big as mine, it was easy, and nice. When she got the dress down to my pussy, she held it front and back and pulled. Not too hard because her fingers were right in between my legs, and her fingers were probing my pussy. I just stood there smiling and moaning a bit. Ben really was working hard. Fortunately, or unfortunately, she stopped before I climaxed, blew a kiss at me, and walked out. I followed her out to show Jon what I looked like. Jon didn't like it and told me to take it off, give it to him, and look for one myself. Before I knew it, I had taken the dress off, and was looking through the rack right in front of the two teenage girls. This seemed to snap them back into life, and they suddenly giggled and walked out. After looking through a couple of racks, I realised where I was, and what I was doing, and walked over to Jon and put my coat on. Jon thanked the assistant and said that we might be back, and we left. The assistant said we could call anytime, and thanked us for calling. This was all getting too much for me, and I asked Jon if we could go home. It took us ages to walk back to the car, Ben was getting to be too much for me, and I didn't want to have an orgasm in the street. When we got into the car, Jon told me to take my coat off, and finish the job. This didn't take long. Afterwards, Jon wouldn't let me put my coat back on, and we drove home. I was glad that it gets dark reasonably early in April, and Jon gave me my coat when we pulled into his drive.

Back home, Jon decided that we were hungry, and told me to prepare a meal. Jon let me remove Ben, but he wouldn't let me wear any clothes, even when I pointed out that I might get something burnt. I wanted to go up to the bathroom to remove the balls, but Jon told me to squat down there, and get them out with a finger right there in front of him. I put them in the box in my handbag; I wasn't going to lose them. After dinner, Jon said that he had to go out for a while, and that I was to rest for a while. Before going out, Jon took me to one of the other bedrooms and told me to sit on the bottom of the bed with my feet on the floor. He then put a blindfold on me and told me to lie back. He then proceeded to tie my wrists to the posts at the top corners of the bed. I could then feel him putting some ropes round my ankles, and assumed that he was going to tie them to the short wooden posts at the bottom corner of the bed, but no, no sooner than they were both tied, my feet were spread about 3 feet apart, and my legs were raised up as far as they could go. There I was, spread-eagle, blindfolded, my legs high in the air, and my bottom right at the bottom of the bed. Right I though, this is it, he's going to fuck me. But he didn't, he just said that he was going out, and that if I heard anyone come in calling his name, then to ignore them, it would be one of his friends coming to collect something, and not to be afraid, because there was no need for him to come upstairs. It was very quiet, and dark, and I was lovely and warm. It wasn't long before I was fast asleep. The day's excitement must have really worn me out.

I woke-up with a start. It took only a couple of seconds to remember where I was, and I could hear a female voice calling Jon's name, then there was silence. After a few minutes, I could suddenly see little bits of light through the blindfold. Someone had switched the bedroom light on. "Who's there?" I said, but there was no reply. Everything was quiet. "Please speak to me" I said, but there was no response, instead, I could feel the air moving around my breasts, then something lightly brushed my right nipple, and it jumped to attention. This was embarrassing, there I was, stark naked, with my legs spread wide, with some strange person that I couldn't even see, touching my breast. I suppose that it was because I trusted Jon, and the experiences of earlier that day that made me feel un-afraid. Instead, I was starting to enjoy it. I could feel my juices start to flow. The hand was very gentle, and slowly wandered all over my body, slowly moving down towards my pussy. Then nothing before I could feel the person breathing near my pussy. The next thing I knew was that something was being pushed into me. I didn't take much because I was dripping, and it didn't take long for me to work out what it was, as soon as it was switched on I knew, then the lights went off and I heard the front door close. At first I was in heaven, I had never had a vibrator before, and was enjoying the experience. It wasn't long before I orgasmed, then again. After the third time, I was desperate for it to stop, and I was starting think that I would die, I had never experienced so much pleasure in such a short time, and the frightening thing was that I had no control over it. In the end, I must have passed out, because the next thing I remember is Jon taking the blindfold off me, asking if I was alright. I just said, "Yes, can I have a drink please". Jon must have untied me and removed the vibrator while I was still unconscious, because my hands and legs were free, and there was no sign of the vibrator. I had to squeeze my stomach muscles to make sure that there was nothing still inside me. After a couple of gulps of the drink, I noticed the metal rings on the ceiling, there were 5 of them directly over the bed, so that was what was keeping my legs in the air. Jon then told me that anticipation of a spanking was often part of the punishment, and that he would remember that I had just forgotten to say "Master" when I asked for the drink. I would get the punishment in the morning. Jon then asked me if I was alright, then told me I could go to bed, and that I had done just fine so far, and was I still happy for the 'interview' to continue in the morning. "Definitely Master" was my reply as I walked out of that bedroom and into mine.