Barneys Beginnings
by Laura Wood
Copyright© 2001 by Laura Wood
Part 1
M'names Bawnie, thass spelt B-a-r-n sumthin. I live up in Alberta where it's cold wif Mom n Paw. We is sheep farmers, least Paw is, I'm just a kid of 16 an Mom, she aint a sheep farmer, she does cookin an shit like that. I got a new puter so I kin make words on the screen thing. Its great, it tells me ifn a words speld wrong. Wish I had this thing years ago woulda saved those three long years of schoolin which tort me jack-shit. This spellin thing is truly amazing like if I write " I seen Mary Janes carnt last week" it tells me "I saw Mary Jane's cunt last week" So I yell "Hey Paw, this puter seen Mary Janes pussy too". And Paw said "Shit Bawney, everbody in the district has seen that glue-pot, looks like she's branchin' out".
Don't remember much when I was small, used to be wif Mom all the time. Paw always had some sick sheep in the paddocks which needed, as he put it, " My undisturbed attention". When he said that, me an Mom knew it was serious so we kept away. Strange thing is tho he usta say it damn near every day. Never saw any dead sheep about so Paw must have been fixin these ewes up real good.
Once a month Mom an me would set off in the pick-up and travel around all the local farms and Mom would cut the men's hair. I used to look forward to these days but I didn't know why, like I was only about five or six an pretty stoopid. Mom was kinda skinny but she had real big chest muscles, Paw calls 'em milk jugs, but they don't look like any milk jug on our table so Paw was wrong I think. First call was to old Mr. Jackson. Paw said he was a cranky old coot but he welcomed me n Mom big time, always smilin' and putting his arm around Mom. "Hello little pecker" he'd say to me as he grabbed me on cock. Mom just larfed. Mom would put her special sheet around his neck, which just about covered him and set about trimming his hair. He used to sit there fiddling under the sheet as Mom bent over him. "I got this special itch again Nikki and there is an extra ten bucks for you if you can fix it"
I reasoned that the itch musta been between his legs cos he was fiddling a lot down there. Anyway Mom thort different I suppose because she pressed right up against him inspecting his scalp, looking for bugs I thought. The funny thing was that her milk jugs were pressed right in his face and his head was movin' around trying to get away! Shit I laughed. He even tried pushin them jugs away with his tongue but Mom would not budge. Mom must not have found any bugs on his head cos her hand went under the sheet, probably to see what he was scratching at. She must have found one but was having trouble catchin' it because her hand was going up and down real fast. You had to feel kinda sorry for old Mr. Jackson, there he was trapped in the chair with my Moms jugs still in his face and her hand going crazy between his legs. "Oh Nikki, I think ya got it" he mumbled. And Mom sure must have caught it and squashed it too cos the special sheet turned wet right where her hand was.
What a dumb-ass that Jackson was. Still he paid Mom the extra 10 bucks anyway. Next we headed up into the mountains to a small homestead where old Harry McMinn and his dog lived. I dont know who was the happiest to see us, the dog or Harry. They was both jumpin' around and fussin' over us, I swear some people just love getting their hair cut. I sat on the floor with the dog while Mom started to work on Harry. The dog started licking his cock and I thort that looked like a good idea. So I twisted this way and that but I just could not reach the damn thing. "Mom, why cant I lick my cock like the dog does" I shouted "Dont let that damn dog lick your cock Bawney, you never know where its been" shouted Mom. Shit, she got that wrong but it gave me a cool idea anyway. While Mom was cutting away, Harry said "Hows every little thing Nikki", as he spoke his hand sort of got mixed up between Moms special sheet and her dress. So there was poor Harry with his hand stuck up Moms dress and he didnt even know it.
Of course Mom was too polite to mention it and she sort of just wriggled and giggled while Harry talked about her little thing. It must have been the weather causin a mess of bugs to be around the district because you would not believe what Harry said next. He said "Nikki I been meanin' to get you to check me out for some itchin I got.
Now since my back is a bit crook it might be easier if I lay on the bed" "Oh poor Harry" said Mom "Of course it will cost you an extra twenty for me to do the job" Mom and Harry went into the bedroom together while I sat talkin' to the dog. The damn thing started licking his old cock again and this time I watched real close as it grew and poked out of its furry pocket. I felt real excited but I didn't know why. Now that I'm 16 I sure know why but 10 years ago I was so fuckin' dumb. Hell just about all the farm animals have had a bit of a lick of me and I'm rightly proud of that.
After a while I heard Harry makin' odd noises so I went to see what was happening in the bedroom. It was unbelievable. Harry was gettin the hairs around his balls inspected for bugs but his old cock must have got in the way. How I see it is that Mom had to use her two hands to catch bugs so what does she do ?, she holds his cock with her mouth to keep it outa the way. Mom sure is smart. Harry is doing his best to help Mom too cos her jugs musta been hampering things a bit so he just held onto them for her. Grown up people sure help each other. Well Mom must have bitten his old cock a bit too hard because all of a sudden his hips are movin up and down like he's trying hard to get his cock away! But Mom just hangs on, in fact she uses one hand to hold onto it until Harry relaxed a bit. I asked if they needed a hand and Harry said "Son a few minutes ago you cooda been holding my nuts, maybe next time" I thort that was strange cos I didnt see any peanuts about.
Fuck, you dont know how dumb I was then!! Mom pockets the extra twenty dollars, gives old Harry a real sloppy kiss on the mouth and asks him how it tasted. Musta been a new lipstick or something.
Our next customer was Tennessee Bill, who, since the departure of his dearly beloved wife, lives alone in a cabin not far from Harry. As we arrived, I heard Bill inside sayin " Sorry Sue, Nikki is here, we'll continue later" He must have been feedin his bitch. Now I'm 16 I knows what he was feedin' her. Bill was a strange one, bald as a coot, so I figured he had a bad case of the itch cos no way did he need a hair cut. "Well Bawney" says Bill " What about you going over to the tree house in the branches of that tree in the gully and play". I looked up at Mom and she said "Thats a good idea Bawney, I got this farmin problem to discuss with Bill about the best way to plough a gully and I think you would find it pretty uninteresting. So away to the tree house I strolled. It was quiet all around me, all I could here was this squeaking coming from the cabin. Figured that Bill musta had somethin' badly in need of lubrication and how right I was!
Anyways to pass the time I tried again to lick my cock, that darn dog was sure good at it. I wedged myself in the corner and tried real hard. This time my cock tried to help cos it went all hard and tried to get to my mouth but my little tongue could not quite reach it. Maybe when I'm bigger, I thort, my tongue will grow some. Shit now I'm 16 and my tongue didnt grow but, praise the lord, my cock sure did, what a blast - heh heh.
After an hour I wandered back to the cabin. "How's the ploughin goin' Mom" I yelled as I walked in. Now this was strange, Mom was lyin' on the bed on her tummy and Bill layin' over her, they was both under the covers. Mom says quick as a flash " Bawney honey, the fire went out so kin you git some wood and start it up now, Bill is just checking the back of my head for bugs and I dont want to catch cold when hes finished. "You see if you can find that dollar I dropped in the woodshed yesterday Bawney" said Bill, "I got two more bugs to find yet" Mom groaned sort of happy like. As I was walkin' out Bill says to Mom "Shit Nikki you sure got the tightest little hole ever" I thort maybe a bug had crawled into her ear hole or somethin'. I noticed that Mom's dress was on the back of a chair and I smiled thinkin' how considerate she was not to get it all crinkled up helpin' Bill.
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