Reventlow Paladrino is probably the most important man in Hollywood.

No, you haven't heard of him. Of course not. The guy is the ultimate insider. But, can you think of any other person who could command the use of the Jules Stein Office on the sixteenth floor of the MCA Black Tower with just a single phone call?

RP is the brains behind six of the top ten grossing pictures of all time. His deal financing is so fucking amazing. Why, I remember a time back in the late seventies, when he almost put Bank of America out of business with one of his 225% participation programs. I mean the guy is beyond belief... he fucking has it all.

But, I've got to say that I admire him most for all the pussy he gets. I mean he gets more gash than King Solomon ever did, if you know what I mean, Jerry.

When it comes to pussy, I get more than my fair share, Jer, but this guy. Wow. And some of the stories you hear.

Unbelievable!!

Take last time... He was doing principal casting for the "Life of Mother Theresa."

No, of course not, Jerry, he never leaves the important details like that to his little people.

That's one of the reasons he is so fucking great.

Anyhow, he brought in the three actresses. Big actresses! You know... three of the very top cunts in the business.

They each thought they had a lock on the part of Mom T, meeting or no.

I don't really want to mention their names here in the Studio Commissary, but I'll just say number two, four and five box office gross leaders over the last three years. Yep, that's right, you know who I mean.

Hey, don't bust my balls on this, Jer.

Of course, I know he went with an unknown on that film.

But fuck man, the guy was just trying to get laid by some of the hottest broads in films. These cunts normally keep their golden pussies under lock and key and don't put out for anybody.

It was a total scam start to finish, baby. No shit.

Way I hear it, all three of them showed up at his office around two in the afternoon, and the first thing they noticed was each other.

He didn't bother to tell them they were going to meet with the others, as a group. It must of been funnier than shit. Fuck, did I laugh out loud the first time I heard about it.

Hell yes they were steamed! They couldn't leave when they found out, either, even though they wanted to real bad. I mean, they knew if they left they'd lose out on the biggest role of the year.

That fucking guy is sheer genius.

I mean three of the most competitive broads in the whole town, standing right there, steaming. All three of 'em decided on the spot that they were going do anything, and I mean anything, to shit on the other two.

Look, Jerry, I don't think it's a good idea for ya to continue to mention their names here. Someone might be listening, baby.

Let's just call 'em A, B and C in case some shit is trying to overhear our conversation. Yah, we gotta make a living in this town, Jer.

Well, RP came out of his office and acted just like a meeting with these three broads is everyday.

"Hello A. You look so good darling."

"B, have you changed your hair? Goodness you sure can warm an old guy like me up."

"C who is dressing you these days, baby? God, you're looking great."

Yah, yah, we all heard his shit before. Still fucking works though. The guy is something else.

Anyhow, he had a bottle of Dom cooling in the office. The big fucker, I don't know what they call it, Jer, don't drink that shit myself. But the broads... they were eating it up.

First, he got them warmed up by telling 'em that marketing figured the story should box office at 200 million plus. Where the fuck those guys get that shit, I'll never know.

The babes believed every fucking thing RP said. He got their attention real good and more than ever they wanted to get that fucking Mother T role.

The real ass kicker was when he told them that he didn't give a shit about the money. No, no. This was the film he had waited all his life to do, and he was going to put everything the studio had behind the picture.

RP told the broads he expected Oscars all around. Ya know, Cannes out the ying yang and fucking Golden Globes. Mother Fucking Theresa! Holy shit!!

But, they bought it, Jer, hook line and sinker. Hook fucking line and sinker, baby. Damn, I wish we'd been there, Jerry. Shit, must a been a fucking zoo.

Now comes the major league hook.

RP reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a story treatment. He told 'em he was thinking Spielberg for this masterpiece and explained that the film was looking like 3 plus hours of dialog, so good Shakespeare would have given his left nut to write it.

Needless to say, he got B's attention, right away. You know how she is really into those endless tragic bullshit movies, and add some fucking director who can't speak English, why, you just know, she would have a hard time keeping her hand from sneaking down to her pussy.

The chicks found out the story was going to provide some early life details of the Sainted Mother. Ya know, little known shit some scholars at USC Film School were able to dig up. RP sure as shit got them to stand up and take notice with that crap, let me tell you.

It was easy for RP to see they were ready to kill each other to get the part, and no chance they would let one of other bimbos be the one to land it either. No fucking way, baby.

He told them that nudity is integral to the story, and asked if "Anyone got a problem with this as long as it's tastefully done?" No, no. They all remembered their early days when they were just getting started, and, shit, they can do nudity standing on their heads. Wait a minute, C did stand on her head in that one Adam and Eve vid. Yah, only a few people saw that one before the studio bought up the negative. You know, Jerry, I bet, no one ever figured out how she picked up the beer bottle after she squatted down on it, but that's another story.

"Whoever gets this role has to start out playing her at 14 and go all the way to 92 years of age. We can do the 92 in makeup, but the 14 is another problem." The big man.

"All of you know Mother Theresa was a hooker before she saw the light." They didn't know, but felt it would be bad form to let on, and so they all just nodded their heads and agreed with RP.

"Okay, we got to get the audience into this film. We can't let anyone think we're making some exploitation shit, not with these real meaty scenes where you can just feel her pain. I'm sure you babes can see this is Oscar fucking material for sure. Now you three bimbos are the best looking women in Hollywood or anywhere else for that matter. So I got no problem with you playing hookers. I just can't take a chance on you being prima fucking donnas and killing the budget with a bunch of bullshit demands. You all understand what I'm saying, don't you?" RP was coming across like some combination of Spielberg and Hitchcock and they just looked at him awestruck.

"Look, any one of you can get a deal where you fart into a bottle for $15 million. That's not the point, ladies. Fuck no! Now, I'm going to have everything on the line with this film and unless you're willing to go that extra mile, I can't take a chance with you." Pure class, RP, yes!

It sounded like fucking art to the broads, and they wanted the part so bad they could just shit.

"Okay. Let's see the legs, girls." RP was taking charge now.

The three grand dames of the motion picture industry were looking at him in stunned disbelief, but he just stayed cool, very cool.

"Look, you don't have to do any of this shit. No fucking way. You're big stars, but I can't take a chance on picking a leading lady who won't follow my vision."

Next thing you know A's dress was moving up over the knees, and yes, she still wears seamed stockings and a garter belt. You know how she likes to accidentally show off those incredible legs when she gets in and out of cars. Yep, she flashes beaver shots out the wazzoo, baby. You've seen it, Jerry, her pussy looks real good with her legs spread wide and her love box airing out in the breeze.

Well shit, Jerry, the other babes got their dresses going up, too. There was no fucking chance someone was going to top one of those bimbos. The Mother Fucking Theresa part was pure juice and it was all they could think about, baby.

RP just stood there and watched those three broads run amuck.

The dames didn't act like they were paying attention to each other, but, sure as shit, they saw everything that was going on with the other two bitches.

When A got her skirt up an inch or so higher than B, it was like no time at all before B was up 2 more inches, and fucking C beat all three of 'em soon as she saw what was happening. RP got to look at three of the biggest money broads in Hollywood with their dresses pulled up around their necks, looking just like starlets getting ready to hit the casting couch.

Fucking RP promised me he'd show me the video his hidden cameras took, but he never has, Jerry, and am I pissed.

"Okay girls, this is getting us fucking nowhere." RP was smiling and beaming as he checked out what kind of underwear these babes were wearing. Fuck, Jerry, I would of ripped right through the front of my pants and cum all over myself if I'd been there.

"Screw this leg shit, why not just take your dresses off, and quit fooling around."

Well, at this point, C was fucking into it and not really thinking about what he was saying. No, she was just out to kick some ass, and the other two bitches weren't going to get one inch ahead of her.

Well, off came C's dress and she was standing there in nothing but heels and panty hose. No, Jerry, she doesn't wear underwear. I can't remember her ever wearing any to tell you the truth. Yah, I can't agree with you more, baby, those tits are so fucking firm, she doesn't need any help to keep them pointing at you like two fucking rockets.

Shit, Jerry, the other two girls saw this and they couldn't wait to take off their clothes. It was like a strip show, baby. They were all watching each other and when one made a move and took something off, the other ones matched it piece for piece. Off came the dresses, slips, bras, garter belts and stockings. Man, in no time at all, three of the best looking bimbos you'd every want to see were standing there in nothing but their high heels and jewelry. I would of blown my wad right then, Jerry, fucking A.

RP, though, remained very calm as the broads were ripping their clothes off in a fucking frenzy. You know, that guy has more class than a football. Next, he told the broads that he had something they just had to see in his inner office, and off they went naked as jay birds, not even thinking if they would see their clothes again. Man, the guy knows his shit and we missed the whole fucking thing.

Well, once RP and the bimbos got inside his inner office, he handed them scripts and told them that they had some real work to do.

"Okay A and B, I want to see how sensitively you'll handle this love scene. What do you mean where's the guy? Fucking Mother Theresa was a lesbian before she got converted. What the fuck's wrong with you broads?"

B didn't figure anything was wrong with her, and she wanted that part more than you could imagine. A was also ready to do whatever it took to get the part, and didn't give a shit what it was, either.

Well, RP got to stand there and watch A and B sucking on each others' tongues for just about ever, and the word I got is that these two broads knew a hell of a lot more about lezzie shit than a straight bitch should. Yah, Jerry, just about every big name fem star in town is a lezzie, so it really wasn't a stretch for them to get it on like that.

RP just stood there and kind of made suggestions like he's the director. "B suck on her tit like you mean it, girl. A get your hand moving between her legs so she can really feel something. This is gonna be a close up shot, so make it look real, baby. I want to hear some screaming and moaning here, just like you do when you really get off." Well, this didn't really turn out to be a big problem for the babes, Jerry, since they were getting off big time right about then anyhow.