It only happens when I’m really horny. So far...

I really, really want to suck a dick. I have never been with a man, and have never had an issue finding a women to fuck. But out of the blue one day, while watching porn, I just started to notice how nice the guy’s dick was. I started to search out jerk material that featured nice, big dicks on muscular men. I then discovered dick worshiping videos where women lovingly stroked and sucked thick cock, savoring the oozing cum. Gay porn and well-endowed trans women started to become regular parts of my search habits. It was surprisingly hard to find straight porn that focused as much on the cock as it did the tits and ass.

But as soon as I had cum myself, the urge was gone, and a bit of shame would set in. I’d go weeks not thinking about it, but then out of the blue the urge would come back. The problem was, I had a girlfriend and didn’t think of myself as anything but straight, so I felt like I had no way of exploring whatever this urge was. I tried anal play on my own, but after the initial thrill, it just stopped doing it for me. I flirted with the idea of bringing a strap-on into bed, but my girl was just so vanilla. I imagined bags packed and slamming doors if I ever made such a move.

My chance came when I was away from home attending a meeting for work. My company was national so each year a new city was picked to have an all-hands meeting. This year it was to be in New York City. I pretended to not give it much thought, but I knew that this would be my chance to explore things I would not dare in my home town. NYC felt perfect. It’s so huge and dense that feeling like an anonymous person would be easy.

The weeks leading up to the trip were packed with anticipation. I suddenly felt nervous about my body and started working out more feverishly than before. Not that I had a lot to worry about. I had made my body into what I liked to watch. I was muscular with trimmed down body hair that showed off how well-endowed I was. Hell, if I could suck my own dick I would ... and I’ve tried.

I scoured the internet for tips on the best spots, reading reviews as if I was picking out what restaurants I wanted to go to. Sadly there was no Michelin rating for cruising spots. I picked a few options, but it felt like they were all seedy joints that had as equal a chance of play as of getting robbed.

The morning of my flight, I kissed my girlfriend goodbye and went to the airport for my flight. Going on work trips always held a special feeling for me and it started in the airport. There was a sense that I was leaving my real life and entering a pretend one. I was no longer tied to anything “real” back home, so all things became possible. Of course, this had never led anywhere. Maybe some flirting or a night in a strip club, but nothing too serious.

My flight was uneventful and by the time I landed in New York, some of my excitement had already started to wear off. Crowded planes, crying babies, fighting for luggage on the carousel line and the back of a dirty cab just aren’t sexy.

I found my hotel, a luxurious building in midtown, and checked in to my room. I got changed, intending to go out, but the courage was gone.

My quest suddenly seemed ridiculous. What was going to happen? I was going to go to some bar or porn shop and find some gross predator looking for someone lost and confused like myself to take advantage of? It would be different if I was in the scene, meeting people, and building trust. Or if I knew what I actually wanted and could have my judgement not clouded by desperation so I could meet some nice guy. But this urgent need to be get into impulsive acts was just going to get me into trouble.

Hopes totally dashed, I didn’t even venture out into the city that night and chose to drink at the hotel bar. I had booked a separate hotel from the rest of my company, assuming I would want even more anonymity. But this just left me now alone. The bar was beautiful, and the drinks were good, but it was relatively empty. A few guys came in and out, but they seemed to be using the bar as a gathering point before heading out to somewhere better.

I was aware though of a tall, leggy, blonde at the other side of the bar who kept looking in my direction. I smiled, but didn’t engage. It’s not that she wasn’t pretty. She had blue eyes that shone across the room, a nice set of small but fat tits squeezed into a pink dress, and high heels that made her calves and thigh muscles show ever so slightly.

But that’s not what I was here for. I had that kind of pussy back home. I think it became clear that I wasn’t in the mood because she eventually got up and left. The thought passed through my mind that she was a call-girl and I got a bit excited. Was that impulsive enough to satisfy this feeling?

No. No. Just leave that alone.

After a bit of the bar, I was feeling tipsy and run down from the day, so I hit the hotel spa and was happy to see that they had a dry sauna. I loved to spend time in a sauna. I’m not so hippy as to actually believe you might be “sweating out the toxins,” but I had to admit that I did feel refreshed after stint in the hot room. I loved the feel of the wood on my body, and the strong smell it gave off. I loved the sound of the rocks hissing when you douse them with water.

I undressed in the locker room, wrapped a towel around my waist and opened the little door to the sauna. Ahh, there is the smell. And the oppressive heat slammed into my body in the best way. It had such a great sobering effect. This sauna was one of the largest I had been in and was meant to be co-ed, with entrances from both male and female locker rooms on either side. At the moment though, I was alone.

You never know the culture in a sauna. In some, people are totally open to nudity and just minding their own business. Others are strictly a ‘towel on’ affair. Seeing as I was the only one here, I decided it was my right to set the tone. I stripped off my towel but placed it nearby, just in case. I took a separate tiny towel and placed it on the wood seat for hygiene and sat down. I leaned back and enjoyed the sensation of sweat leaking from my pores. My cock hung lazily between my legs, and I periodically ran a hand over my chest, abs and face to wipe the sweat away.

As soon as I closed my eyes, I heard the door creak open on the women’s side of the sauna. I peaked my eyes open to see a woman walking toward me, towel around her waist, and another draped around her neck so that either side hung to cover her breasts. She sat on the bench catty-corner to me but near enough that I could see her.

It was the blonde from the bar. Either she was a very high end call-girl to be able to afford a room, or she was actually a guest with nothing to do like me. I realized suddenly that she had made efforts to maintain modesty and made a move to my towel.

“Oh, no. It’s OK,” she said. “You were here first. I don’t mind if you want to stay comfortable.” Her voice was that of a old soul singer, and there was a hint of playfulness in it.

“If you are sure,” I said, placing my towel back down.

“Positive. We are all adults here after all. I’m Susie by the way.”

I nodded and gave a smile, “I’m Tony.”

Susie returned my smile, then leaned back against the back bench to relax into her sweat. I kept my eyes straight ahead to try and be respectful, but I could feel my mind trying to pull me back to get a better look at her body. From what I had seen so far, she was looking good. My good angels won out and I closed my eyes and relaxed as well.

“You live in town, or here for business?” Susie said suddenly.

I opened my eyes and looked over to her. She had leaned forward a bit, letting the towels on her shoulders slump forward, giving me a view of her breasts. They were nice handfuls with puffy nipples, and hung naturally on her chest. I felt a little freer to look her over as she had been the one to draw my attention.

“I’m here for business, but don’t live too far away. You?”

“I live in New Jersey, but as a treat to myself, I like to stay in a hotel in the city every now and again.” She had already sweat enough that it was dripping off her to the floor and evaporating quickly on the wood. I watched a particular bead snake its way down her chest and disappear into the towel that was no longer wrapped around her waist but instead just draped artfully over her sex.

“That’s a nice thing you do for yourself. By the way, I had seen you in the bar earlier, but wasn’t in the most social mood,” I offered as explanation. “I don’t want you to assume I was being rude.”

“Ha, thanks for clearing that up. I actually thought you assumed I was an escort trying to pick up a client.” She laughed out loud and I watched her body bounce in response.

One of the best parts of these work trips is the anonymity allows you to be a bit more honest than you normally would be. So, it let me say with a laugh, “To be honest, that’s exactly what I thought at the time! No offense.”

She kept her smile. “None taken. But I am offended you didn’t proposition me for my services if you thought I was on the job,” she joked back.

The time with Susie went easily. We wound up sitting closer together and opening up. She was fascinating and funny, and flirted without pushing things too far. Don’t ask me how, but we even ended up talking about tastes in porn and I let her know of my very varied tastes. I felt completely relaxed with her.

The mood shifted a bit and I think we both were recognizing that the time in the sauna was coming to a close soon.

“Tony?” Susie said after a bit. “Why are you really here?”

“I told you; a work conference.”

She raised an eyebrow at me and waited.

Fuck it. Anonymity allows everything right? “Alright fine. I am here for work. But also, I just get into these moods sometimes where I need to do something impulsive. And lately ... I’ve started to get really curious about what it would be like to experience someone else’s dick. If I could just give a blowjob, I think I could sort out what was kink and what was real.”