Part V - 1: Mother, Father, and My Lovers.

The black limo pulled into our driveway, filling the entire drive. Even before the vehicle had been taken out of gear, I had my suitcase waiting by the trunk. I had a feeling that this was a different vehicle than the last one I had ridden in, but there were no exterior markings to indicated this.

A different driver got out, came around to the right side passenger door and opened it for my father. I nearly dropped my suitcase. Not only was my father clothed, but he was all decked out in a black and white tux.

I did drop my suitcase when my mother came out. I had never seen her so dressed up, so beautiful, so... sexy. I swallowed hard when she walked over in her black and white sparkling blouse, with matching skirt, accenting her curves while still being conservative enough not to appear, as Suzi would say, slutty. Her legs were perfect, and her smile was genuinely warm. And she had that smile pointed at my father, which was even more shocking.

I followed my suitcase to the ground when the pair nearly ripped each other's clothes off while they kissed. The squawking sound I made when my back end hit the ground was probably the only thing that stopped them from raping each other on the spot. They straightened out each other's clothes while my mother wiped off the lipstick she had smeared all over his mouth, giggling like a school girl as my father said things which were beyond my range of hearing.

The driver helped me up, then opened the trunk and put my suitcase in. I had packed enough for five days even though it was only for the weekend. When my father asked where my mother's suitcase was, she held up her small matching purse saying, "Right here."

I stared at my suitcase as the driver shut the trunk, realizing how stupid I had been. I wouldn't be needing any clothes once I got there. Even my mother knew that.

My father called me over, and for a moment I felt like the three of us were a family. When that reality hit me, I shuddered internally. In another life, I might have simply accepted letting my grandmother suck me off whenever I got a hangnail or something, just to make me feel better. "Grandma, would you blow me? I'll even hold your teeth for you." Shudder shudder.

I had a strange duality when it came to my father. Yes, he was my father, in some ways I respected him, and I suppose I cared for him slightly. But I also despised everything he stood for. I knew everything I would be enjoying this weekend, everything I had been excited about for the past week-and-a-half was his gift to me for being his son. But it also was an attempt to corrupt me with his way of life. A life I so desperately wanted to hate, but knew I already loved.

But I actually didn't mind a little corruption as long as my friends were with me. They were my insurance, my protection from allowing the corruption to take my soul. Perhaps this notion was a bit naive, but as it turned out, they indeed were my saviors, and I their's. Not that my father didn't try his hardest to corrupt us all anyway. And for a little while, he succeeded, especially with Joey.

As we climbed into the limo, I saw it was indeed a different one. There was no bed, just incredible plush velvety seats that I imagined folded out to become a bed if needed. There was plenty of room for Joey and Suzi when we picked them up on the way to my father's north mansion.

Joey's house of course was just down the street. In fact, the limo had passed it to get to our house. As we pulled into Joey's driveway, Joey was already standing right where the door would be, making it appear as if we had pulled up to him. Joey signaled for me to roll the window down before opening the door. When I had done so, he said, "Welcome to Joey's. May I take you order please?"

The driver put Joey's suitcase in the trunk next to mine. While Joey's parents checked out the limo and chatted with my mom and father, Joey motioned me out and we went to the rear, out of earshot.

"I saw your suitcase in the trunk," Joey said. "That was good thinking. I mean, I had to pack like I was going to need clothes and stuff. But when my dad saw the limo coming back down the street, he said something about wondering how much room the trunk had. I nearly shit when I realized you wouldn't be taking any clothes with you, and the trunk would be empty. So when did you start seeing into the future too?"

My face went red, but luckily Joey's dad called saying it was time to leave. I climbed in, and watched Joey's mom hug and kiss him, followed by his dad. He squawked when his dad gave him a peck on the cheek, and turned all red about it.

He got in, and they all said their good-byes again through the window.

Once we were on our way, I said in a low voice like his dad's, "Oh, Joey... I'll miss you!" and gave him a real kiss. That really made him turn red with my mom and father sitting right there. My mother whispered something to my father, and his eyes moved to Joey's legs and grinned.

Joey's body blush deepened even more, and then he said, "God, I HATE being fair skinned and blond!"

"Oh don't be, Joey. With your blond hair and blue eyes, girls are probably following you around everywhere," my mother said.

"No they're not, mom. With Suzi around, the other girls don't dare." I said grinning.

"What do you mean?" Joey said, seeking revenge. "Everyone at school thinks Suzi is with you. I don't think Suzi scares them away, so it must be you."

"Ha ha." I said, letting him have his minor victory.

Suzi's house was a good fifteen minutes from Joey's and mine. We were talking about nothing in particular, when my mother and father began to shock me again.

"So, how is your mother? Is she well?" my mother asked.

"Oh, she's fine. Getting on a bit, but she can still suck a golf ball through a garden hose, if you know what I mean," my father said, laughing at his own joke. Then he continued. "And what about your father? Is he still on that little island? I nearly had it bombed while you were under my household, fearing he would find out and take you away. But they made me set you free before the planes were ready and... "

"MOM! You said Grandpa died before I was born! Is he really still alive?" I said exasperated.

"Whoops. Sorry Samantha. I didn't realize... "

"That's okay. I was going to tell him anyway." Then she turned to me and said, "Yes, he's alive, but he doesn't know about you. After I discovered my powers, I accidentally triggered his own. I'm afraid he is a little confused... "

"A little? He thinks he's God Almighty, Samantha. That is not just a little confused. That's plain loony."

"Well, at least he had enough sense to go and get an island in the middle of the Pacific to play God, unlike your father... "

"I suppose you're right. Pop certainly did bring that on himself. It was a pity he had all his slaves kill themselves when he did. Some of them I remember taking their virginities from. Pop didn't leave many of those around when I was growing up. He always said... "

"Uhm, excuse me?" I interrupted. "Do I have any other living relatives that I should know about? What happened to my other Grandma? And do I have any uncles or aunts?"

"My mother truly died before you were born, and that's what made my father lose touch with reality. As far as uncles and aunts... Well, there's my brother George, and Charles' brother Larry, and what was your other brother's name? The one that tried to take over that country with the army of women?"

"No no. That was Larry. You're thinking of Spud. You know, here Spud! Good boy. And then of course there's your three sisters that pretend they're witches. I must say, they know how to throw a good party. All my sister does is go around collecting human testicles. But she has quite a collection. I'm sure she'll... "

"What about brothers or sisters," Joey said quietly, yet very amused.

"Yeah! What about brothers or sisters? Oh God! Three weeks ago, my only living relative was my mother. Then I meet my father, then my golf ball sucking grandmother. Now I have a family tree longer than my arm. And they're all power mad perverts, or grown men who think they're a dog!" I groaned, covering up my face with my hands.

My mother and father burst out laughing, followed by Joey. My mother had tears in her eyes, and Joey had fallen on the floor from laughing so hard.

"WHAT IS SO FUNNY!" I screamed.

Joey sputtered between his giggles, "They... were... JoKINg!"

"ARRRGGGGH" I said covering up my face again and sinking down in my seat, almost to where my butt was about to fall off.

As if on cue, I felt the car stop. I looked up, and there was Suzi's face, right where Joey's had been when we pulled up at his house.

"Great. Now I'm really gonna get picked on." I muttered, reaching for the door. I got out and greeted Suzi. Then I poked my head into the cab and said, "I think it would be safer if I rode in the trunk next to my suitcase full of five pairs of clothes. Just honk the horn when we get there, okay?" I had my head out earshot before they could reply, and all I heard a moment later was the second explosion of laughter.

"What was that all about," I heard Suzi ask the occupants of the limo after they calmed down.

I waited for the driver to open the trunk to put Suzi's suitcase in, and then asked him to wait a moment before he shut it. I opened my suitcase, and took out four little boxes. I also slipped my coin and another object into my pocket. I wanted my coin just in case I needed some sympathy. Suzi could really get you if she was in the mood. And I imagined I was an easy target right then.

I felt Suzi's hand slip around the back of my waist, and she said, "What's you got?"

"Oh, just something I made. Where's your mom and dad? Joey's almost climbed in and came with us."

"Oh, they're around somewhere. Limos aren't a big thing with them. Here they come... "

"You know, I think this is the first time I've actually seen your house from the outside, or with my own eyes. Oh, shit. I'm not supposed to really even know your mom and dad except the few times they dropped you off or something. I feel like I've known them for, what, fourteen years?" I said, feeling the butterflies in my stomach grow. I wanted to pull Joey out and tell them he's her date, not me. But I was the one who had invited her, and invited Joey. And they certainly didn't know anything about our three way love triangle.

Before we could say hey, Suzi's dad exclaimed, "Charles! I didn't know you were Tim's father! Well I'll be. How's... "

Suzi and I looked at each other in yet another shock to add to my score board. We moved closer to listen.

"and that Greek goblet was an absolute hit. It fetched over ten grand! You wouldn't believe the how many people bid on that one."

"Really? Well, I have another twelve in storage. The one I donated to you was a last moment kind of thing. I suppose I let my superstitions get the better of me. I couldn't stand having thirteen of the silly things. You can't actually drink out of them without one of those rubies popping off. Perhaps next quarter I can donate the remaining twelve. Never hurts to get those tax deductions whereever you can."

"Well that would be splendid. If they get as much as the last one did, I imagine they would name the new library after you. The Charles Grodmen Library of Medical Research. Sound's pretty good, if you ask me... "

"Now stop it Frank," Suzi's mother said. "Can't you see they want to get going? It's been nice seeing you again Charles. And you Samantha. You two make a charming couple. Now I can see where Tim gets all his looks."

"I think I will ride in the trunk," I said loud enough for everyone to hear and turned around like I meant it.

Suzi grabbed hold of the back of my shirt and said, "You don't need to ride in the trunk." She pulled me past the back door, and opened the passenger side front door and said, "Here. You can ride with the driver."

After the standard farewells, we were on our way to my father's place. I passed out my little gifts, and waited.

"Ewww, Timmy! It's gorgeous!" Suzi exclaimed.

"Impressive," my father said.

"It is very beautiful. Thank you dear," my mother said.

"Yeah, Tim. It's neat. I don't recognize it either. Did you feel it out yourself?"

"Yep. And they're all different. See if you can guess what yours is, Joey."

"You felt all four of them? Wow! How did you do it?"

"Come on, Joey. I can feel the symbols out just as well as you can. You just can just fit the shapes to them faster, that's all. Now come on. Everyone guess what they are."

"I don't understand," my father said frowning at his metal with red glass symbol. Each symbol was palm size, had a different color of glass, and resembled each other, but obviously were not the same. "Have you figured out what the symbols mean?"

Joey and I filled him in on what we had found out and had been doing. My father was very impressed.

"So, everyone has to figure out what their symbol means. I'll give you a hint. They each represent the person I gave them to."

"I know what mine is," my mother said.

"What?" Joey asked.

"I don't want to give it away," she wisely answered.

My father was staring intensely at his. Then suddenly he did an almost double take. He said, "Good Lord! I know what this symbol means!" His face was almost giddy with his realization. "It stands for Father!"

"Yeah, that's what I thought at first. But it actually means a little more than just father. But wait until Joey figures his out. I know he will."

"Well, I won't," Suzi said a little crossly. "It's obvious your mom's is mother, but what's mine. Sister?" Then in a much softer voice, "Lover?"