Part XVIII - 1: Chains of Love

I was in love. Totally, completely, out of my mind in love. Never before had I felt such great pleasure simply of being on another's presence, and without there being some sexual aspect to it at that. True, I did find her soul, personality, and yes, even her body sexy. But as far as I could tell, Jennifer was completely uninterested in sex, and I was determined that if anything sexual happened between us, she would be the one to initiate it, not me.

The more time we spent together, the closer we became, and by the time Christmas came around, we were as close as any two people could be without there being anything sexual between us. We had only kissed those two times since our balloon ride, and even though her face always lit up when she saw me, I was starting to feel a little... unappreciated as she had never once repeated one of my claims of love to me.

In fact, she had rarely thanked me for any of my gifts, never once paid me a compliment, not even anything simple like "I like your hair," or something silly like that. Oh, I knew she adored me, and she had finally grown accustomed to receiving my hugs and other forms of physical affection, but it was very rare for her to return any of the feelings I expressed to her.

But then Christmas day arrived. I went over to her house around noon, finding Jennifer and her sister outside with Lee's newest boyfriend as he showed off a new pair of speakers in his low riding pickup truck. I swear I could hear the base of that thing two blocks away, for this guy's cab was probably pumping a thousand watts of sound out, causing every window on the street to rattle and shake.

"!!" Jennifer yelled at the top of her lungs three feet away.

"WHAT?" I screamed back.

"!!!!! HI!" she hollered just as the song ended.

"Oh," I said as she giggled at herself.

"Did you ge," she began before the next song blasted the rest of the words away.

After commanding the deaf jerk to turn his noise polluter down, I didn't bother hiding my irritation when I said "Thank you. God, how can you stand it that loud?"

"That wasn't loud," the guy said with a grin. "This is loud... "

Both he and Lee covered their ears after he hit the power amps maximum setting, then it took me a moment to realize their mouths were open because they were screaming even though I couldn't hear it.

I gave Jennifer a nudge after she finished joining in their silent screaming, then motioned towards her house when she looked at me. She tried to tell her sister that she was going inside, but after it became obvious this was futile, she just skipped over to me like a little child, then accepted my hand as I walked her back towards her rattling front door.

"Wasn't that really neat?" she asked me once we had the door safely closed behind us.

"I guess," I said, noticing there wasn't any wrapped presents left under the tree. "So, did you get anything good?"

"I got this gorgeous dress for church, and a portable stereo with dual cassettes, and... uhm... What did you get?"

"I got a computer. I don't know much about them, but I think it is supposed to be the top of the line. It's a Macintosh I think. It's pretty neat. I bet Joey would love... never mind about what I got...

"Merry Christmas," I said as I pulled the little box out of the back of my shirt.

"Eww... I wondered if you got me anything," she said as she anxiously took the box and tore into it.

"Wow... " she added when she finally got it open. "It's... pretty."

"Do you like it?" I asked.

"Uh huh. Do you want me to put it on now?"

"Please?"

"Hold this then," she said, handing me the empty box, then raising the necklace up to the light.

"Do you see them?" I asked as she gazed up into the balloon shaped crystals which hung from the silver necklace.

"Yes," she whispered in awe. "There's... Hearts? And cupids? And... something else, floating around inside them. I've never seen anything like it before."

"They're supposed to be roses... and it's the only one ever to be made. I had a dream one night, and that's the result. The guy who made it for me wanted to sell the idea, but... let's just say I convinced him otherwise."

"Wow. The only one? Thank you. I've never had an original before," she said, finally putting it on.

"It looks beautiful on you," I said with false awe. "I knew it would, but still... "

"Come and see what I have in my room," she said, taking my hand and pulling me towards her room.

"Wait a sec," I said with some confusion. "What about me?"

"Oh, sorry... " she said, letting go of my hand.

When she saw I was waiting for something, she frowned, then slapped her forehead saying, "Oh! I know what you want!"

After carefully watching her sister drag her boyfriend in and down the hall to her room, she gave me a peck on the lips then stood back with a proud expression all over her face.

"Is that it?" I said, unable to hide my disappointment.

"I guess so," she said doubtfully. "Did you want one on the cheek too?"

"You mean... After all the things we've shared, the places we've gone, the time we've spent together, didn't you even think of getting ME something for Christmas? I mean, you knew I would get you something... "

"Yes, but... I... " she said confused.

"What? Tell me. Tell me why you never... never... give me anything back?"

"I... I don't have any money," she stuttered.

"I know you don't, and I never expected you to _buy_ me anything."

"But then what?... You don't mean... " she said when her mother's words came to mind.

"No, I don't," I said stiffly before turning around and heading towards the door.

"Where are you going?" she demanded. "Come back and tell me!"

I hesitated a moment before turning the door knob to leave, having heard just a hint of sorrow in her voice. But when she exclaimed, "Well?" I nearly hit myself with the door I yanked so hard, then promptly slammed it behind me.

"Tim!" Jennifer's voice whined from the door just as I was reaching my car. "Tim, please come back! I'm sorry! I'm sorry for not getting you a present!"

"All I ever wanted from you was for you to show some kind of tenderness, or appreciation, or SOMETHING on your own that said I mattered to you more than just what I did or gave you!" I sobbed loudly, the sound of my own voice shocking me into realizing my emotions were nearly overcoming my self control.

"Good bye, Jennifer," I said getting in my car, slamming that door too for effect.

I suppose because I had always ended my good byes with the three most powerful words I knew, Jennifer must have figured out what I had really wanted for Christmas. For when I was just starting to pull away, Jennifer suddenly threw herself on my hood while crying desperately "I love you!"

I was so shocked I nearly killed her when I forgot to steer around Lee's boyfriend's pickup.

I leapt from my car and rushed up to her motionless body laying against the pickup and on top of my hood. Ever so tenderly I rolled her onto her back, then after a few moments of complete terror passed, her eyes flickered open while she struggled to again say, "I love you."

The strain of resisting my desire to gather her up into my arms was almost too much, but my self control prevailed long enough to probe her body's senses and determine her state of health.

"No broken bones, and besides a slight concussion, you're okay," I reported.

"I love you," she repeated again.

"I love you too," I said, climbing onto the hood beside her. "I'm sorry, baby. I never meant to hurt... "

"I know... " she said weakly as she tried to roll towards me better.

She started to shiver almost violently at that point, for she had run out of the house without a coat, and between the tears on her cheeks and the shock from impact, she was thoroughly chilled.