Chapter 11

Susan had been forced to talk with Max on the telephone when Silk Weaver refused to give her permission to go home. It was a lie, her being ill, but she had to say something. After Jamey's visit, she knew that she couldn't go on again. Maybe, if she were more seasoned, could adopt that philosophy of 'the-show-must-go-on'... but in truth, she knew she would never be stage-people. She was proud of her acceptance by the audience, still, she was not about to try and fool herself... she was not for this existence. If she hadn't been forced into... Oh, what was the use of thinking about it!

She manipulated the Ford toward home, pleased in her mind that Max had shown compassion. She really hadn't expected that either, anymore than what she'd received from Silk, but the blind- man had surprised her... just as he'd surprised her yesterday afternoon, when... when...

Her face flushed in the darkness of the automobile at her own thoughts. She hadn't been able to sleep too well last night, either. The fact that Max Bovino had brought her sex fulfillment like she'd never dreamed of in her entire lifetime had been working on her internally, much as an upset stomach might, only in this case, she knew no medical cure.

Dear God, how had she ever gotten herself into such a position? Jamey hated her, Max wanted her and Nadine needed her. With one wrong move, she could place both Jamey and Nadine, forgetting herself, in jeopardy. Oh Cal... why? Why did you leave me? Why wouldn't you recognize my love for you? Could that girl... that Shelly creature possibly have meant that much to you? Weren't you aware that I knew all along? Don't misunderstand... I knew you'd come back to me; you always did... but I was afraid that Jamey'd find out and there'd be a terrible fight.

Why, Cal? Why did you have to take your life?

By the time Susan reached home her cheeks were wet with tears. It wasn't uncommon, not since his death, but now the distances were less than when they still lived on Jamey's estate; hence, her tears didn't have the opportunity to reach their fullest capacity.

Susan parked the car, climbed the stairs and was surprised to find their apartment empty. It was ten-thirty and Nadine hadn't asked to go any where. Of course, she had been at the school for rehearsal, but that was long over with. Had they not had an understanding which both of them in variably adhered to, Susan wouldn't have thought another thing of it, but they did.

She dialed the Trent residence and Ann answered.

"Hi Ann... have you seen Nadine tonight?"

"No, Mrs. Sheldon. I've been home all evening."

"You didn't go to the rehearsal, then?"

"Un unh. I'm not in the pageant, you know."

"Yes... yes, I know, Ann. Well, thank you anyway."

"Of course. 'Night."

"Bye."

Momentarily, Susan sat silently thinking. She dialed a second number. A woman answered and Susan identified herself. Momentarily, Rickie Thompson's unmistakable voice spoke.

"Rickie, do you know where Nadine is?"

"No. How would I know? That creep, Jamey Halo picked her up. I... I guess Nadine and I won't be seeing each other very much any..."

"You say, Jamey Halo?"

"Yeah. He come by after rehearsal with his Porsche and she climbed into that heap like it was the only one in the world."

"She didn't say where she was going, Rickie?"

"Say... She didn't even tell me good-bye. I've had it, Mrs. Sheldon! Nadine's pushed me around too many times! That's what my Mom says.

"Well, your Mom's right, Rickie," Susan said, trying to keep her poise. "A young man of your caliber shouldn't take that from any girl. Of course, you have to remember that Nadine is just a little girl..."

"Crap! Excuse me, Mrs. Sheldon, but I mean it. If she's a little girl, I'm Tarzan. You ought to see the way she was playing up to that TV dude tonight. I mean..."

"Yes, well, I can imagine, Rickie... and I'll speak to her about it. Thanks for the information. Good-bye."

Susan hung up and leaned back momentarily in the chair. Her mind was immediately flooded with a mirage of visions that she didn't want to accept. She'd never blinded herself to the fact that Nadine had a crush on Jamey; nor had she ever ignored the way that he looked at her, their age closeness, nor the reality that Jamey Halo was a juvenile lecher. But because of their feelings, her own and Jamey's toward one another, she had never entertained a belief that he would... he would try to touch Nadine.