Men in general, but my boyfriend in particular, have a problem. They spend way too much time playing video games. Something usually suffers as a result, for instance the laundry or your sex life. This comes about not just because of the time spent on one pursuit that could be spent on another. There is also the problem of the message of most popular video games, which seems to be violent action, endlessly repeated.

Now far be it from me to talk about the weather and not do anything about it. After no small amount of rumination I have decided to advance my own proposal for a video game, on the theory that it's best to meet the opposition half way. I welcome any inquiries from software manufacturers that would like to license my design.

My game has the working title "Make Me Come." Quite obviously, the game is of a sexual nature. The object, and the subject, of the game is Tammy Ng, masturbating to orgasm. The first of my innovations is that the player scores the most points by taking the _longest_ time possible to make me utter that little squeal of helpless surrender.

I think this point alone will make the game successful. Women might actually go out and buy this game for their lovers, putting aside their discomfort at having their man stare at a beautiful Chinese girl for hours on end, when the benefit is that this guy will be learning how to tease the breath out of them in bed. I've surveyed several women who agree that if men could somehow be taught that sex was not a race to the finish line, the world would be a better place. In this game, it is not death, but orgasm that is inevitable, and staving off the inevitable takes on a wonderful, rewarding value.

I have in mind a very unusual user interface. Most of the screen is a picture of me, alone in my apartment. Initially, I'm sitting in a big chair watching TV, fully dressed in a short skirt and top. Next to my chair is a floor lamp and a little table. The perspective of the player is from a little above the TV, looking towards me. I think the artwork should be like a charcoal sketch, evocative, but not overly concerned with realism or detail. The sounds should be my pulse, my breathing, the rustling of my clothes, the white noises of skin on skin, the scratching of nails through pubic hair, the liquid sounds of my mouth and pussy.

At first I thought that the player should just be given control of my body. I would be like a puppet that the player manipulated. Click on my thigh, and hook my leg over the arm of the chair. The skirt slides upwards and my panties come into view. Click my hand and drag it downwards between my legs. The player is rewarded with a little catch in my breath and an increase in my pulse. Click on my middle finger and begin to rub the pale strip of cloth that hides my pussy and wait for my sigh.

With this interface certain actions that would be hard for the player to accomplish with one point control could be handled with transitional animations (if I've been aroused enough by the players choices). Things like pulling the top over my head to bare my breasts, or slipping the panties off, and letting them drop on the floor might be handled this way.

Once the player has my top off and my panties down around my ankles, it's pretty easy to figure out what to do. Don't make me pick my nose, or use the remote control as a dildo, just keep up the contact between my hands and the rest of my body in various wonderful ways. Bonus points for making me wet my fingers at certain critical points.

There might be an interruption. The phone might ring. Ignore it or answer it? It might depend on how undressed I am, how deep my finger is inside me. It might be Mom, in which case you might as well reboot the machine. It might be Deidre, and I can get in two or three orgasms before she realizes that I m not grunting at all the right places in the conversation. It might be my boyfriend and you can score double points for desperate phone sex orgasms. As a digression, all of these things have happened in real life, except that when I was talking to Deidre I was getting fucked. And once I was expecting John (my boyfriend) to call and I got myself all in a lather and the phone rang. I picked it up and it was just the right moment and I said, "Oh baby, oh fuck me o ffu-," and then I was coming really hard and very noisily, too. It was a telemarketing salesrep from Nebraska Steaks By Mail. I think it was the high point of his career.