Hi! I'm Tammy, remember me? I'm your sister that you agreed to write erotica with, does that nudge your memory? All right, you didn't see me getting laid, maybe I'm not qualified. Maybe I should claim to be the girl you saw getting fingered in the stairwell, then you'd post my stuff too, right? Let's see if 'Kellie', whoever she is, can write a vibrator story like I did.

I dunno. I was trying to broaden our range of discourse. Bring in romance, attempt spoken dialogue, humor even. And what to do I get for my trouble? Tammy Seduces Her Boyfriend, like some sleazy tabloid Rupert Murdoch headline! It obviously doesn't pay to be sensitive, if you are going to sneak in editorial slapstick on the subject line of my posting. >From now on, Tammy is writing her own subject lines. To wit: Public Notice to all readers of this letter who aren't older sisters of the poster: If the subject line of this post isn't Tammy Gets Even (Better) please complain to deidreng@aol.com.

Now, where was I?

It turned out that the first time between my boyfriend and me was his first time, period. I should have been more gentle with him, would have perhaps if I had known. But there I was, naked already, and he was so sweet, telling me how beautiful I was. I was feeling all achy and butterflies and my legs would just not stay closed. Thank goodness I had that condom.

He told me as we were lying there. His head was lying on my breast, one arm thrown across me, one knee over my hips. We were drowsing in the afterglow, that time when you don't feel like moving, when its enough to hold him and remember how he filled you, how well you fit together, how you held him as he came and how you made it the best for him you could and it felt so good for you too, stretching, open, feeling his stroke fill you, knowing he was urgent and close. You cradle his head, let him let go inside you, hold him safe til the ecstasy passes. Now you lie as one, drowsing, watching the afternoon pass in the movement of a sunbeam up the wall.

"You're the best," he said.

"Oh am I," I said, "I'm very flattered."

"You're also the worst and the prettiest and the ugliest and the tallest and the shortest."

"Am I also first and last and only?"

"Yes."

"Oh, dear." And I hugged him closer.

Your first, I thought. I'm going to have to take extra special care of you. I can feel your fingertips touching my nipple, is this the first time you've done that? Testing its fleshiness, running one finger over the flat top, around the base, watching it spring back as your finger passes over it. Please, keep playing with one breast while I pillow you on the other. I want you to know me, my textures and surfaces. Learn me with your touch and tongue, taste me too. Learn the curve of my breast and how it weighs in your hand, how your hand curls naturally around me, just like you're doing now. Is the first time your hand has cupped a woman's breast? How very warm your hand is! Squeezing me, testing the response of my flesh. You'll have to learn that every caress touches me in the head, also. Your exploratory touch is delightfully soft.

I sighed. "Your hand feels very nice on my breast. Not sexy, but nice. If you keep doing that, it'll probably turn into sexy. Your fingers are being so delicate. You can be more forceful, I'll tell you if its too much. I like my nipple being squeezed. You can feel it grow and harden between your fingers, especially if you make it wet. If you use your teeth and nibble at my nipple very very carefully when you suck my breast, you'll make me a very happy woman, and very aroused. You don't mind my telling you this do you?"

I felt his smile on my breast.

"Of course not. How else would I know what you like?"

"Well, it seems that some men think they know everything already and don't want to hear anything that might imply that they are anything but expert lovers. Other men don't really seem to care, they already know what they like, why should they care what I like."

"I won't be like that. I'll take every piece of advice you care to give me. Please remember that up until twenty minutes ago I was a virgin."