Chapter 4

Paula sat at the table of the conference room with all the leaders of the Underground. Damon, Alicia, Reginald, Eva, and some others she hadn't met were there. Paula didn't know why the meeting had been called, but by the looks on the faces around her she could tell it was serious. As Eva began to talk the room hushed.

"Hello, and thank you all for coming at such short notice. We have gained some information which could lead to a major victory in our struggle... but I am getting ahead of myself. First of all I'd like to introduce you to a person who has provided much help in our research into behaviour modifier insensitivity, Paul Matthews..." Eva pointed to Paula.

Paula smiled and spoke, "Thank you, but I think under the circumstances Paula makes more sense..."

Eva nodded, and smiled, "Very well, then, Paula Matthews." Paula smiled and they exchanged a knowing look.

Eva continued, "Now to business. We have learned, from an on-surface agent, the location of the central drug supply warehouse." The room filled with excited murmurs, and Eva went on, "Yes, this is a great opportunity for the Underground, and for freedom. The Warehouse distributes Mastain, Subtain, and Regutain to the entire north section of the country. To cut off the supply of the government's behavoir controllers would leave our entire population ready for the truth.

"The Warehouse is located in the western section of our city, and is relativity unguarded, considering its strategic importance. We can only assume this is due to sheer arrogance on the government's part. Our plan is to set explosives within the building, destroying the building and it's contents... by our estimation enough drugs to control the entire country for a period of six months..."

The room once again filled with excitment. Such a blow would leave the government scrambling to maintain their control over the people. Eva detailed the plan, showing a diagram of the Warehouse layout. A small team, five or perhaps six people, would enter via an old Turboway shaft and set the explosives.

Looking at the map Paula realized for the first time where exactly they were. She had suspected that the Underground was located in old Turboway areas, and was right.

The Underground HQ was located in the remnants of an old pre-Reformation transportation system called Sub Way. They were approximately 100 yards below the surface. Looking at the map more closely Paula chuckled to herself, realizing that they were only minutes away from her old school. Small world, she thought.

Paula shifted her attention back to Eva as she called for voulunteers. Without a second thought she raised her hand. She might have accepted being female, but she still wanted a chance to extract some revenge on those who had made her that way, and who had enslaved her country for so long. Eva looked over, nodded, and added her name to the team. Alicia also joined the team, along with three men Paula hadn't met. It was decided they would attack in two days, before the government had a chance to discover the leak and tighten security at the warehouse. As Paula was listening to details about the mission she noticed Damon looking at her. She couldn't quite understand what the look meant...

As the meeting finished, and everyone began to stand and leave, Eva walked over to Paula. "So I guess you will be staying with us then?" she asked.

Paula smiled, and shrugged, "No where else for me to go, really..."

Eva smiled, and the two hugged. Paula felt very close to Eva then, like the mother she never really had. They smiled again, as Eva was called over to a group of leaders discussing some aspect of the plan.

Paula turned to go, and found Damon hanging about at the door. She smiled as she walked to him, but he merely stared at her. Paula was confused, and started to speak, "Damon, what is the..."

Before she could finish he turned and walked out.

Paula could not find Damon anywhere the next day. She spent some time training with the team for the mission, and when she was done dropped by the lab. Damon was nowhere to be found. She kept thinking, What did I do?

She went back to her quarters, and slumped in a chair.

He probably became disgusted that he had had sex with a woman you was previously a man, she figured.

Tears began to slide down her cheeks... she didn't know how to deal with this. Paula knew she had become close to Damon, very close, but didn't realize just how much he had meant to her.

She was startled by a knock at the door. Damon opened it, walked into the room, and closed it behind him. They stared at one another for a minute, and she was unsure of what to say. Damon opened his mouth to speak, a definite tinge of nervousness in his voice.

"Umm... I don't think you should go on this mission," he said dryly.

"I've been thinking about it, and you are much too valuable to the movement for research... I am going to advise Eva to revoke your team membership."

Paula looked at him, stunned. Her emotions swirled around her - sadness, frustration, anger. She stood and looked at into his eyes. "How dare you? I'm not your freak to study!" She realized that she was screaming, and crying again. She began to hit him, her emotions running over.

Damon grabbed her arms, and looked at her. She stopped struggling, and again looked into his eyes. "I cared about you... I was falling in love with you..."

Tears began to form in Damon's eyes. He looked away for a second, and then refixed his gaze upon Paula. "Don't you see? They've taken my wife and child... I can't stand to risk losing you..."

Paula shook her arms free of Damon's grip, and wiped her eyes. She calmed herself somewhat, and sniffled. "What? You mean you aren't disgusted with me?"

Damon shook his head, forcing a smile, "Never... Paula, you are the first person I've really cared about since my wife was killed. I don't care if you were a man before, or an animal, or anything else... all that matters is that you are now a woman, a woman I've fallen in love with... Paula, I don't think I could go on without you."

Paula stared at Damon for a second, letting his words sink in. She knew then what he said was true, it didn't matter who she once was, she was now a woman... a woman in love with him. She hugged him tightly, pressing her face into his chest, "Damon... I'm sorry... I didn't know. I love you..."

Damon held her tight, and smiled. "I love you too, Paula. I'm so afriad of losing you."

Paula looked him in the eyes, "But, you have to know, this is something I have to do..."

Damon nodded sadly, and kissed her. "I guess I knew that. If you insist on going, however, I want to go too..."

Paula smiled, and they kissed again. They did not make love that night, but held each other as they slept.

The next day Damon told Eva of his plans to join the team. She agreed, and they had one last briefing meeting. Paula, Damon, and Alicia sat at the meeting table along with the three men Paula hadn't met before, Peter, James, and Ted.

Eva sat down with them, and began to speak.

"You six are very brave, and the Underground appreciates fully the dangers you will encounter. The mission on which you will embark is one of great importance, not only to the Underground but to all people. It will also put your lives in jeopardy. If anyone here should decide not to go that will be fine. We will think no less of you..." No one muttered a word. "Excellent... you are all people of the higest caliber. We thank you, as the untold millions will thank you.

You are in our prayers tonight. Now I suggest you all have a full night's rest... you will leave at 0500 tommorow."

The team rose and began to leave. Eva looked to Paula and smiled, "Paula, may I have a word with you before you go?"

Paula nodded, and the rest of the team left. Eva sat down on a chair next to Paula and took her hand.

"Paula, I just wanted to say that I am proud of you, of the strength you've shown. You have served as a role-model for many within the movement."

Paula smiled, "Thank you, Eva. I don't know what to say..."

Eva grinned, "I am also happy that you have found a place of comfort within yourself. I hope you know that whether you are Paul or Paula it doesn't change the strength of your character. I hope you are happy, as Paula, for a long time..."

Paula nodded, "I think I will be... and I thank you for giving me a true sense of womanhood to aspire to."

Eva smiled, and Paula did too.

As they stood Paula instinctively hugged the woman. They stood for a second, Paula's eyes clouding.

She wiped away her tears, laughing, "Gee... what a girl thing to do, laugh when you're happy."

Eva smiled again, "I think you'll be alright, Paula Matthews."

The two said their goodbyes and Paula left for her quarters.

When Paula opened the door she was not surprised to find Damon sitting on the bed, smiling. She closed the door behind her and sat next to him. Looking into his eyes she pressed her lips against his, and they met in a soft, gentle kiss.

Damon spoke, "No matter what happens to us tommorow I want you to know I love you more than anything..."

Paula smiled, "And I love you Damon... thank you for helping me find who I am..."

He smiled, and kissed her again. They laid back on the bed, each in the other's embrace. Their lips were almost fused together as they kissed for what seemed an eternity. Damon's tongue flicked and explored the sweetness of Paula's mouth, her tongue tasting the masculine presence of his. He slowly slid his hand along her body, and began to gently massage her breast. Paula smiled, and began to undress. Damon also smiled, as he too removed his clothing.

The laid next to each other, naked in both body and spirit. Paula felt the last barriers to her femininity melt away as they explored one another's bodies with their hands, lips, tongue. Each movement seemed like a tableaux of passion to her, like a beautiful flower unfolding. Finally, as if the last unfolding, Damon entered her.

As he began to pump into her she adjusted her movements to drain the most pleasure from each thrust. She didn't know if nature had intended her to be female, but she now relished the opportunity. As Damon's manhood worked inside her Paula looked deep inside her person and felt balance. Where she once might have thought of herself as many people she now was only one, a bonding of all elements feminine and masculine. And that balance was now bonding to Damon.

Their lovemaking intensified, their thrusts and writhing in unison. Finally they came, together, as one. It seemed as though Paula's orgasm shot not only through her body, but Damon's as well, and his through her. Panting, they drew apart, and laid next to one another, smiling.

As they began to drift into sleep Paula spoke, "Damon... I just realized I don't know your last name..." It was protocol for members of the Underground not to know each other's last names for security. If they were ever captured they could only give first names, making it more difficult for more members to be arrested. Paula had been a different case, coming to the group as she did.

Damon opened his eyes and smiled, "Well, considering the circumstances I guess its okay. It's Newman."

Paula smiled, and they both closed their eyes again. Damon Newman... the name floated in her thoughts, and made her happy.

The team met at 0500, and was led through the corridors of the Underground to an exit. They wore standard issue worker's coveralls, to blend in with the workforce at the warehouse. Wordlessly they left the corridor and stepped into the Turboway shaft.

James led the team, using their map to move through the tunnels under the city. They seemed to walk for hours, Paula thought. All along the way Damon walked close, holding her hand. Finally James stopped, and began to look at the ceiling. Finding a small grating he nodded. They were there.

Crawling through the small entrance they found themselves within the huge warehouse. It was dimly lit, which was to their advantage, and there were no workers to be seen. Paula figured that the morning shift must not have begun yet.