Chapter 6

It was very uncomfortable sleeping on the sofa in the library, but Kay couldn't back down now. She had made a big issue of it, and for the past week and a half Jim had the bedroom to himself. Each day was more difficult than the last, and Kay hardly knew whether to cook dinner or not to cook dinner, for Jim's hours were so irregular. Sometimes she would decide not to make anything at all, and she would go to a movie; that would be the night her husband came straight home from the bank, hoping for a home cooked meal. What was difficult was that Kay had a very hard time looking at him... just looking at his face made her recall the night she had watched him through the window at 457 Turnabout Lane. Then she would start crying again, her tears uncontrollable as she fought back the urge to tell him that she knew everything, that indeed she had seen just about every horrid detail of his indiscretion.

When he came home late, she would get to wondering if he had been out with that girl again. She'd lie awake in the library, listening to the sound of his key in the lock, and then his footsteps as he went past her door into the bedroom that they used to share together. Some nights his steps were uneven and faltering, and Kay suspected that he'd been out drinking. On one such night he had stopped outside her door, and for a few moments her heart thudded in her chest at the thought that he might try to come in. She couldn't remember whether or not she had locked the door, and she held her breath until he finally moved on. She heaved a sigh of relief, but deep down inside something was disappointed. She tossed and turned on the lumpy studio couch. What if he had come in? What if he had tried to make love to her?

There was a strange longing for him in her loins that she could not really deny as she tried desperately to fall asleep. But she knew that her normal sexual desires were for Jim as the perfect lover... the man she'd thought she was getting before her marriage, and not the unfeeling beast she'd gotten! It was terrible to have such a thought... the feeling of still being in love with him, even though she knew that it was more than probable that their differences would never be straightened out now. Not after what he'd done! And yet she continued. Each day was a limbo during which she could visualize herself living alone one day, a sad and unhappy grass widow who would never marry again... never know the delights of a wonderful husband... never know the delight a wonderful romantic husband could offer.

It looked as though there would be no change at all, but then one afternoon Kay was preparing a special dinner-hoping Jim would come home and would perhaps discuss their differences-when the phone rang. Wiping her hands on her apron, she picked up the wall receiver that hung in the dining nook.

"Hi there... it's Jane. How are you, hon?"

Kay felt her whole body stiffening. She had not heard from either her brother or sister-in-law since the day she had mistakenly run to Jane for advice. The anger and embarrassment she had felt when she'd stumbled upon them in the kitchen still consumed her, especially at night before she went to sleep... when she would think back on the good times she and her brother had had as children, and contrast it with the odd way she felt toward him now that she had witnessed such an intimate act between him and his wife. She held it against both of them, but especially against Jane.

"Y... yes... Oh, I'm fine!" she replied, trying to hide the resentment in her voice.

"Listen, sweetie, I've been thinking about your problem, you know?"

"Listen Jane... believe me, I can make out OK without any..."

"No... you've got to hear me out. Trust me... I know just how to make that man of yours come to his senses. And it will only take a few short hours! Now, are you interested?"

Kay's hopes rose. Perhaps there was some salvation after all, and crude and awful as she was, her brother's wife might have the answer! In spite of a warning voice that cautioned her, she let her voice betray her hope.

When Jane heard this, she knew she would be able to persuade Kay to go to the party with her. It had been a wild idea, but it looked like it was going to work! Ed certainly couldn't object to her going out with his sister, and before the night was through she would have what she wanted... a little fun in a few other guys' arms, and Kay might just have what she wanted. Quickly she detailed her plan, not mentioning that it was going to be an out and out orgy. She emphasized that Jim would be there, as would some of Granger's better known citizens.

"I'm sure that Jim's going to be there," Jane continued hurriedly, "... and probably with that same chick, too, no doubt... the one you saw him with the last time. Now if you appear there, and Jim sees you, he'll think someone else invited you... and he will get so jealous and ashamed of himself that you two have just got to make up!"

"But what kind of a party is it, Jane... are you sure it's not one of those orgies!"

"Well, yeah..." Jane said, thinking fast, "A few people might disappear into a bedroom for a little fast loving before the night is out, but you and Jim will be walking out of there before that happens... walking out of there arm in arm... or at least you'll make up by the time you get home!"

"Well... I just don't know... Jane, I don't think I could face meeting those terrible people, and then seeing Jim... and that girl!!!"

"Do you want him back or not? You're not a little girl any more, honey... you've got to fight like a woman... otherwise... curtains!"

Kay felt a twitch in her face as Jane spit out her words, and as much as she was against the whole idea, she knew that she would do it. She had absolutely no idea what else to do about the mess her life was in.

She would be fighting "fire with fire". It was an expression her mother, when she was still alive, liked to use, and now, for the first time in her life, Kay was going to take her mother's advice. She hung up the phone and realized she was shivering with the thought about what she had agreed to, but as she roamed the empty, sterile house she felt that she had to take some positive step to end the limbo her life had become. It didn't even look as though she and Jim lived in the house... it looked like one of those model homes set up for a hypothetical family... and at the moment, that was exactly what Kay had, and she decided that even complete failure... divorce and shame were better than what she was going through at the moment.

As usual, she heard nothing from Jim about his plans for that evening. She didn't doubt for a moment that he would be going to that address again. He had probably been going there steadily since that first night she had spied on him. The thought sent the usual twisting knife through her insides, and she desperately tried to calm herself as she dumped the beginnings of a very special meal down the garbage disposal. She watched, almost mesmerized, as it was sucked down the drain and shredded by a hundred whirling little knife blades. When it was all gone and the roaring sound had subsided to a shrill whine, the young wife nodded vigorously and then, tight-lipped, raced upstairs, her small feet padding soundlessly on the carpeted stairs. She would have a lot to do before she was ready to attend that party of Turnabout Lane. It involved turning herself into a completely different person... a woman who was strong enough to face her husband and his teen-aged mistress, as well as the other loose moraled people he consorted with. There was also hopefully, the strong possibility that she would come in contact with the person who had been so hateful as to send her that anonymous letter.