Chapter 3

The girl didn't even remember coming down in the elevator or walking through the casino. She had crossed the crowded streets almost by instinct alone and it wasn't until she passed an all-night diner just before her corner and saw the clock inside that she realized it was almost two in the morning. God, she had spent hours there on that horrible bed... and, she vowed... "I'll never do it again!"

Occasionally a streetlight would reflect against the streaked tears on her face and the softness of her crying would hover in the night darkness.

She wondered if Johnny would be waiting up for her, and if he was, what she would be able to tell him. The whole thing seemed like a terrible, unreal nightmare that had been dreamed up by a mad man.

She stumbled along, her eyes half closed--the dark sides of her eyelids acting as a screen where she projected the terrible scenes of the night before.

Her mind was flooded with contrasting feelings of self-pity and anger. She tried to blank out the memories of Deke Vito and what she had done but they kept forcing themselves into her consciousness. The realization of everything that happened, the landlord, Deke Vito... Black Jack... the repulsive leering of the fat man... how had she done it? What had caused her to lose complete control of herself and accede to their wishes? Two days ago, she had been almost a virgin, untouched by anyone else but her husband, and now... now, she had taken on three other men in quick succession... three men she didn't even like. And they had fucked her, not made love to her, but fucked her like some whore off the streets, without love, without respect, with nothing but animal lust burning in their loins. God, where was it all going to end? tumbled through her tortured thoughts.

She opened the door into their apartment, hoping that her husband was asleep, and tried to still the soft sobbing that still shuddered her body.

She put her coat away quietly but the darkness was shattered by the click and sudden brightness of the lamp by the bed.

"Laura, Honey, where have you been?" She turned to face Johnny who sat up in bed wide awake.

"Laura, are you crying? Darling, what's the matter... please, come here."

She moved awkwardly to the bed, to his outstretched arms, trying to brush away the tears on her cheeks.

"Oh, Johnny, it was so horrible... Ohhhh, Johnny "

He jerked upright. "What?... Darling, what happened? Laura, what's the matter? Where have you been?"

"Oh, Johnny, it was Vito... I'm so ashamed," the words came out haltingly. She didn't want to tell him. She didn't know what to tell... Black Jack... he couldn't know about Black Jack!

He tried to calm her down, and after a few moments the words poured forth in a broken, husky stream...

"Johnny, you don't know what he did... I tried to get the contract for you... Oh my God! It was so horrible!..."

He waited for her to catch her breath and as he did his mind whirled with what she had just said. She hadn't gotten the contract after all. All of his acting that morning, and she hadn't gotten it! He tried to remain sympathetic as she continued, but all the time he wondered what he was going to do now.

"Johnny, we... we gambled for it... and I lost. At least... I lost the bet about going to bed with..." She started crying again, in great heaving sobs.

Finally, she told him the whole story. At least it seemed like the whole story, about Vito and what they had done, and about Harry Goldman. Johnny had no way of knowing that she had left out the part with Black Jack.

As she spoke, describing everything that had happened between her and Vito, her husband wondered why he didn't feel more. He tried to picture his lovely wife in bed with her naked legs wrapped around that slimy gambler at the casino, but nothing seemed to happen. Just a heavy dull sensation, he barely heard what she was saying and it didn't seem to matter so much.

He'd been drinking heavily before she came home, anticipating his delight when she would hand him the contract that meant so much to him. He had known before when he had told her to see Vito that the gambler wouldn't be satisfied with just words, but he had been able to close his mind to any of the consequences and think only of his future and what that contract would mean. Now, it was all gone. It hadn't worked! Goddamn it! What was he supposed to do now?

Wait. What was she saying now? Something about Goldman?

"... and they told me if I'd spend the night with him, I could have what I wanted... Oh, Johnny, I can't... I can't... I just can't!"

He was alive again! There was still a chance. He could feel the lightness again. He could still get that contract, go to San Francisco. God! Once he made it in the Fairmount, he'd never have to worry again. If he just played it right, could get her to do it...

She lay there in his arms, waiting for him to hold her--waiting for his anger at Deke Vito--waiting for him to hold her and tell he'd take her away, that she'd never have to do anything like that again.