Part 1. [by Anna]

It took me a while to even consider to write about these incidents that happened over 25 years ago. But my brother was rather persistent till I finally gave in. After starting over again and again twenty times I realized that it is still difficult for me to talk about that time period and our involvement. Mainly, because describing it accurately means obviously to relive it in a way. I found out that I was afraid to do that. This chapter was long closed for me. Staring at my old diaries from my safe deposit box I finally got curious enough to re-read the entries from 1972/73. I hadn't read them in a very, very long time. To be fair, the actual entries in my diary were a lot more brief than what you will read later on. But after going over some of my notes my memory somehow came back to me in more and more amazing details. I will only tell you about the evening that started it all because to be honest, I'm still not quite comfortable with the later encounters that my brother usually initiated. Maybe I should have put that one night of indulgence in perspective as an unusual aberration of life as it sometimes happens and leave it at that. But the excitement and attraction of the forbidden was still pulling on me with a subtle strength thereafter. My brother often sensed that and took advantage; took advantage of me. He is not to blame alone though, it takes two to dance after all. In a brief attempt to defend my pride I will say that we had only a limited number of "encounters" but some of them seem still rather embarrassing for me even today. In the safety of our mutual trust (we're family after all) we sometimes explored a depth of intimacy (kinkiness) hardly found in a "normal" relationship. I'm sure the sociologists out there will disagree with me but I'm simply trying to understand why we did what we did.

I'm most comfortable with the description of the one night that started it all since I can claim to have been somehow impaired, under the influence, of LSD that is. It might not have been very strong but it was enough to erode some of the strict restraints that keep us usually bound to the moral rules of society and culture we live in.

There is no moral to my story. Nobody got hurt, nobody got caught. We somehow got away with it. There were no "bad" consequences for us or others. When I got later involved with my future husband, the relation with my brother returned to "normal" and we soon also went our separate ways geographically.

On the other hand I can not recommend to anybody to get light-hearted into such intimate relations. Society is rather unforgiving in such matters and the moral punishment is usually swift and without mercy. Once discovered, it can effectively destroy a whole family including friends, husbands and lovers. Which is meant more as a stern warning rather than trying to be morally correct.

You might have guessed that "Anna" is an assumed name. So are the other names of actual real people out of our life. The Anna who lived back in 1972 was at the time pretty promiscuous I have to admit. Let's call it sexually active. A few years in a boy/girl boarding school might have helped in that regard. At age thirty I was comfortable with my body so to speak. The Anna of 1972 was rather pretty, brunette with a healthy bust that got away with wearing no bra for years. Even Europe was feeling then the influence of a late imported "flower power" that included recreational drugs, great music and liberated women who burned their bras at parties. I was a well paid teacher and living in a rented apartment. My 19 year old brother had just finished school and moved into the basement of the same house. He was pretty lazy at times and joined me for meals that I usually prepared. We got along very well usually. I was the big sister who was kind of pitching in for mother most of the time. Alex was a bit of a hippie still, long hair, a few drugs, music, searching for himself and a decent place in life.

A neighbor and girlfriend of mine, Pamela, was living across from me and we often talked story about men and fashion. She was about 26 years old then and married to a surgeon who was working like 80 hours a week. She was alone a lot. My brother Alex had taken an interest in her somehow and they were often alone in Pamela's place for hours, talking and playing games. I learned only later that they were getting sexually interested in each other, too. One day I needed the typewriter from my brother since mine was broken. So I gave Paul, a date of mine that week, the key to my brothers place. Alex was out for the evening. Paul gets the typewriter from my brother's desk only to find a love letter in there. The letter was addressed to the lonely, attractive but married Pamela. Wow.

The content of the letter didn't leave much open to interpretation when I read it. Immediately I was seeing major problems written all over the wall. While I was still thinking about damage control my friend Paul decided in his morally correct wisdom to show it to Pamela's husband the next day. Things didn't develop very well thereafter. My brother was emotionally destroyed, Pamela was embarrassed beyond belief and her husband furious. I kicked Paul out of my place for good. What a dumb ass. My brother Alex was assuming that I had leaked his letter and wasn't talking to me anymore. I was distraught now myself. I put a note on my brothers door, explaining my view of events. Alex still was angry. He would only show up in my place to pick up his laundry twice a week.

I needed some company for a change, so I decided to call Phil, a remote friend who was studying chemistry for over 12 years now. He never got a degree, he just liked the university so much. Phil was not a man for lengthy conversations, he was a man for sex. And he took pride in being on the cutting edge of sexual vogue. He liked to surprise me with push up bras and silk stockings from Paris, fancy negligees or new sexual positions he had learned from other women or books. I invited him a few times a year to have some good steamy sex for hours and he always delivered. He had the habit to bring his own champagne, always. He never touched beer or hard liquor. He claimed it helped his libido. I wasn't arguing. His only hang-up was his penis, it was on the small side so to speak and he was very sensitive on that subject. I learned to be quiet about it fast.

Phil showed up on the weekend, champagne and his "surprise" package in his hands. He had his best Lex Barker-imitation smile on his face. Too bad I hated Lex Barker then. He was eager to tell me about a rock festival he had attended and was hinting at a "very special out of this world surprise". Heh. Heh.

I took a bath while he chilled the bottles. After I splashed on some perfume in all the right places we were soon hitting my bedroom. He got back to my fridge soon to retrieve one of his champagne bottles. He was now explaining to me that this bottle was "very special", to be cherished. But I wanted to see his surprise package first and he finally obliged. He asked me to undress first and he dimmed the lights a tad. I was looking surprised indeed when he pulled out a number of ropes, plain sisal, rough as they come, finger size thick. Phil tied me up without much comment while his smile was driving me nuts. I had heard about the Marquis de Sade and stuff like that but had not connected any sexual interest with such activities yet. But I was good game and let him do his thing. Soon I was spread eagled on my bed, my wrists tied to the head board of my bed, my ankles to the foot board and a few ropes across my chest. He looked anxious at me, maybe awaiting some form of submissive acknowledgement but hey, I'm a Scorpio! I could see some disappointment on his face already. Finally he decided to knot a silk scarf around my head, covering my mouth. I like to talk. This was a real restraint.

Somehow this felt silly to me and I had to restrain myself not to giggle. Phil was now slowly undressing which usually is an important stage for him where he gets exited showing off. Before he got to the last item he turned around and fiddled with something. When he turned around I noticed a strange extension at the front of his slip which looked like a foot long funny hat of a dwarf from SnowWhite fame pushed over his penis. He now topped this appear-ance with his Lex Barker smile.

Scarf or not, I was laughing so hard that the ropes bit into my wrists. I just couldn't contain myself. Sorry.

Phil didn't take it very well. Not well at all. Before I knew it he had his clothes back on and stomped out. Oops. My scarf prevented me from any intelligible talk. I tried hard though.

From the hallway he was finally shouting something I didn't quite understand. The main door banged close. He was gone. What an idiot. Wasted my evening.

I wasn't to concerned with my ropes yet. I was still giggling about his penis outfit. Did he ever look at himself in a mirror? He would have died from embarrassment!

Finally I started to check my own situation. Four ropes were holding me to the bed. My head board was against the wall. It couldn't move. So I concentrated my attack on the foot board of my queen sized bed. It was attached to the main metal frame holding the mattress. I had great faith in my strong thighs and I started to jerk on the rope with my right foot. Nothing happened. Darn. This rope hurt. With a good portion of anger I gave it another try and I saw the foot board starting to give way. Almost there. The right side of the foot board finally broke under my efforts.

The problem was that the mattress and frame weight were leaning on and pushing the board away from me now. The ropes suddenly went tight. I was now in worse condition than before. There was no more slack on the ropes. They were tense and it started to hurt. I tried to pull up the whole foot board in vain. It moved a few inches till I ran out of steam and let it go again. I was close to panicking. My right leg was pulled off the bed by the tension of the rope. I cursed Phil under my scarf as I heard a key opening my front door. Jesus, I thought, he had a change of mind...

I relaxed. As far as that was an option. I my mind I prepared already a few soothing words to heal Phil's battered self esteem. He took his time. I stretched my head to see through my open bedroom door. No sign of him. I tried to call his name. "P" is an explosive consonant and it doesn't work very well if your mouth is covered with a scarf. I tried anyway. Finally I heard his steps.

Clutching his laundry against his chest, my brother Alex walked in. I died right then and there. Oh my god. Oh my GOD!

I believe I just closed my eyes as if it might have made a difference. When I finally was looking again Alex was sitting in the armchair across from me. He was sipping on the champagne. It was the first time I saw him smiling in a week. It was a mischievous smile. It made me instantly furious. He could see it on my face. He also saw that I posed no danger. "Phil's idea?" he offered.

I nodded. Looked away. Alex sat down on the bed beside me, almost touching my body that was by now covered in sweat from my physical exhaustion. I was not in a position to move.

"That must hurt..." He said quietly, "but, you know... it isn't even close to the pain I 'm going through. The whole house knows now about Pamela and me. She probably won't talk to me ever again. We were very close. She was special to me. Very special." His voice almost faded.

I looked up to him. My mouth was dry. I slowly nodded. He held up the champagne as an offering. I nodded again. Even though I needed a real drink now.

Alex pulled down the scarf and held the bottle to my mouth, I got a few healthy sips. I felt better right then. Not just because of the cold champagne but also because Alex had shown some mercy with me. The end of my silly situation was possibly getting nearer.

"Will you untie me now?" He didn't react.

"Please!", I added. "... I can explain all this..."

He slowly looked me over and I wished I was able to at least close my legs. Not a chance.

Alex finally stood up, bottle in hand, "I'll think about it. Gotta watch the news."

And he was gone. Sitting in my living room watching TV. Great. The sheets on the bed were getting moist with my sweat. I shifted around. A little bit. My muscles hurt.

Time went by and disappeared. My heart was beating. Somehow I was more aware of it now. The sound from the TV was louder now. The quality of the tension in my arms was slowly changing. The pain changed its character from sharp to something else. Alex was back in the armchair. Good. One leg felt better now. It moved around. It was free. Good. Alex had fixed the bed and untied my right leg. I close my legs. Real close. Feeling better that way. The ropes don't bite no more. Still there though. The bed feels gentler now on my back. Everything feels better now. I remember Phil's face and his small penis in his funny hat and I start giggling instantly. I can't stop. The image plays in my mind. I start laughing. It's wildly funny. Alex is laughing now, too. It is feeling good. My body shakes. I'm feeling hilarious. I somehow realize that something is gently out of whack. Ahh, the champagne. The special champagne. Oh, yes. Special. My train of thoughts is going way fast. The ropes, the scratchy sisal started to feel different on my skin, somewhere between itchy and exiting, every sensation strangely amplified, larger than life. I was becoming more immediately aware of my body sensations. My sense of smell was now sharply enhanced and I became aware of scents that I didn't know even existed, the sweat from my pores, the perfume, even my own sex made itself known in ways that were rather strong. My mind was playing back scenes of my earlier day including TV-news I had watched and I found myself laughing about some of the pictures that flickered across my mind. Pretty soon I was laughing out loud, shaking on my bed till the ropes tightened up. I felt good. I felt hilarious. This champagne was really good.

At some point I realized that Alex was standing at the foot of my bed, watching me with a wicked little smile on his face. That was quite a change from our earlier exchange. The pupils of his eyes were huge, diluted. I kept looking into his eyes. It felt so natural to do. He still took sips from the champagne bottle. He looked different somehow, softer than I remembered him. I always cared for my brother but somehow I looked at him through different eyes right now. I started to say something but realized only a mumble. I had forgotten the scarf over my mouth. Alex left the room again. Oh well. I felt good. My whole body had developed a minute but interesting vibration going through it. I liked it. I moved my arms and legs around for the sheer pleasure of movement. It was very sensual. The ropes over my breasts felt much thicker and tighter now. The harsh fibers were causing now a very sensual sensation when I moved around enough to have them rub against my nipples. I liked that a lot. So I kept moving around.

I heard the sound of the bathroom door and my brother walked back into my bedroom. I laughed at the sight of him. He still had his pants down at his knees! And he was not even aware of it. His soft cock was just dangling around while he came walking in and sat down on the armchair across my bed and joined me in my laughter like some crazy man. Soon we laughed about each other laughing for no god reason. Oh well. Acid.

It was silly but I couldn't possibly care. I wasn't even aware of it being silly. I do not remember what happened next but soon my brother started to play with my knitting needle set that was sitting in a basket besides his armchair and he pulled out the knitting needles which was a set of two dull plastic coated needles that was joined in the middle by a solid nylon core. As I was watching him I realized that his soft cock had grown to a rather large and rigid shape somehow. Alex had a huge hard on. And he started stroking it. And I was looking at it. With curious fascination. And it was getting bigger still. At least I remember it that way. My mind was as shocked as it was confused. It was not quite right and I was halfway prepared to start a protest but somehow I couldn't put together a clear thought. I wasn't used to look at my brothers cock at all. But I didn't flinch either.

The sexual scent of his cock reached my nostrils. It changed everything. Pretty soon the thought of protest had sunk beyond the surface of other feelings that were now bubbling up in me.

I could smell it. I really could. In my mind I was somehow isolating this beautiful cock from the fact that it was my brother's. That allowed me now to actually enjoy what I saw. The scent was filling the air like an exotic fragrance. I looked with amazement as he meticulously caressed his penis. He made love to it in his own unique way. He took his little finger tip into his mouth, moistened it and inserted it care-fully under his foreskin and rubbed it around and around in circles. I had never seen anything like it. He moaned quietly, self assuring. Then with quickening, long strokes he worked up his penis. Totally unaware of the surroundings. I hadn't seen my brother's erect cock in 10 years or so. There was a hint of embarrassment still present but it was soo sexy to watch.

I was soon mesmerized. Breathing a tad harder I finally allowed my mind to realize that this was not just another cock of one of my lovers. This was far more personal. This was forbidden territory. Even for me. But my body reacted it its own way now, ignoring my little analysis. I was flushing all over somehow. My nipples had turned into hard little marbles which I kept rubbing against the rope and something warm and wonderful was happening even deeper inside me. For a brief moment I was aware again of my naked skin that was so blatantly exposed. But proper judgement on such intimate details was fading rapidly as my sexual barometer was turned up a few notches.

As I watched the beautiful cock being teased in front of me I began to feel the early stages of a compulsive desire. The desire to touch my skin. To touch myself. Even to touch my brother. To stroke his hair. To hug him. To tell him that this is so exiting. That I can barely take it. The train I was on was accelerating at a breathtaking speed now. And I was just hanging on. What a strange champagne. The French know their stuff.

Everything in my bedroom but was so quiet. The movement of Alex' hand was now my sole focus. Naturally. His hand finally slowed down. He picked up the knitting needle kit he had been playing with.

With a mixture of wide-eyed excitement and utter surprise I watched his hands. As he took one needle, moistened it briefly on his tongue, took careful aim and [ gasp ] slowly inserted it into the urethra of his erect penis. Very gently he pushed it in. I could see how the opening expanded and the dull needle tip slid down the urethra. One inch. Two inches. Three inches. He slowly pulled the needle a bit out again to only push it in deeper again. I was mesmerized watching. I felt warm flashes radiating over and through my skin where it counts most. That is usually my pussy.

Five inches. The stiff needle could obviously only go so far in a straight way. My stomach was tightening with erotic tension. My brother now gently pulled the needle out of his penis, looked around, searching, and grabbed the scissors from the weaving basket. He cut out the foot long soft nylon section from between the needles. He lit his cigarette lighter and held one nylon end to the open flame till the cut softened. With his fingers he molded the end to a smooth round tip, moistened it and inserted it gently again into his penis. Slowly he also started stroking his penis again, to allow for a deeper descent. One inch glides in. Two inches. He gently wiggles the nylon while pushing. Three inches. Four inches. I'm glued while I glow inside.

He moans softly while he bends his penis forward to ease the entry into deeper areas. Five inches. Gently moving the nylon fiber in and out, it moves deeper and deeper. Six inches.

Following the spectacle with rapt attention I wonder if it is going all the way into his bladder now. Or maybe into his balls! [gasp] And I wonder with erotically charged curiosity what it might feel like. My sexual arousal becomes more urgent now. I decide to enjoy it, let it come in. It quickly spreads through my whole body like a sweet poison. My brother moans as he gently strokes his rigid penis. I moan into my scarf. I can smell his cock. I desire to smell his cock. I watch it now and it is glorious in its beauty. His strong hand grabs it gently. The veins are clearly showing on the cock. Each time the foreskin moves back I see the exposed penis tip, glistening with moisture. The scent of sex is in the air. It makes me feel liquid. My brothers hands perform magical moves. I've never seen anybody doing what he does. So perverted somehow. So delicious.

Each time the nylon fiber is pulled out an inch it brings a few drops of liquid with it. He moans. I moan. He looks over to me with a bit of surprise. Then he smiles. Our eyes meet for a brief moment and we communicate somehow. I don't know what my eyes expressed but Alex turns towards me and repeats his sexy operation just for my pleasure. The plastic fiber goes in even deeper this time while he bends his penis gently forward. There must be eight inches down his urethra now. Only an inch is sticking out now and he gently taps on the end with his finger. He must have reached a final destination somewhere. His posture is tense and his eyes express utter excitement. I try to imagine the extent of the sensation inside his cock as the smooth surface slides through his tight little channel. Entering the bladder. Poking inside the bladder. Or maybe even entering his balls! Is that possible? I watch his eyes and sense his feelings. The separation between him and myself becoming blurred. My eyes are stroking his cock. Inch for pretty inch. Fascinated. The sexual excitement on his face showing so clearly now.

My mouth is salivating. Being now strangely aware of the sweet taste of my saliva. I feel wet throughout my whole body. My thighs are involuntary moving against each other, enjoying the touch of soft warm skin on skin. Getting into a serious mood of pure sexual lust. Feeling the desire to display myself now, not hide no more.

I look at him intently with an expression of warmth and desire and move my right leg ever so slightly, opening myself. His eyes rest on my body waiting and watching. Wow. I feel tense and horny at once. What a moment. Watching his eyes watching me, I open my leg further. My pussy is in the open now. I can barely believe I'm doing this. Sensing his appreciation in his face I go even further, stretching till my pussy opens ever so slightly. I feel strange satisfaction as he displayed his arousal with freshly energized stroking of his bulging cock. His eyes sharing his mounting desire with me for the first time quite openly, honestly. Something melts away in me that I soon miss no more. The fire was lit now and I liked what it felt like. My breasts were heaving with my faster breath, feeling full, stretched tight, yearning for the rough touch of the ropes, sweaty. Again, offering themselves to the watchful eyes of Alex, feeling, pure, unbridled excitement in my shameless presentation.

Watch me. A beautiful woman. Restrained. Aroused. Sensuous breasts with hard little nipples. Soft, moist opened pussy lips. Feeling desire. I offer myself now.

My brother was breathing harder now. Moaning under his breath. Tension in his whole posture while he was laying back in the armchair. His strong thighs were now spread apart, tension in his stomach visible. I moaned at the lively picture. He looked at me. He slowed down his stroking, finally slowly stood up and proudly displayed himself. Huge penis and everything. Still stroking himself. The nylon rod was obscenely sticking out of his penis tip. He completely pulled back the foreskin from the shiny cockhead. Wow. He came closer. Close enough for me to see his rigid cock in all its sexy details. I looked up to him. Wide-open pupils expressed ecstasy beyond normal means. He held his cock now close to my face. I was getting high from expectation. He pulled the nylon rod very slowly out of his penis. Right in front of me. His face showing delight.

Then wiped it over my skin, right under my nostrils. A few drops of liquid. The scent hit me instantly with the devastating impact of a missile. Within moments I became flooded with uninhibited desire. My body saturated with sheer horniness. All stops pulled. I let out a deep animalistic grunt. Flexed all muscles against the ropes, fighting the restrictions for a second. The ropes cut back instantly with their rough ignorance. I enjoy the bright sensation. Like a potent poison the scent of my brothers cock and its secret fluids flush through my veins into seemingly every cell of my body. Wiping out any reasonable thought whatsoever. Any thought. Wow.

Sexual impetus becomes the only focus of my unfocused mind now. My nipples glow red hot suddenly under the touch of a hot tongue, which teasingly moves on, touching down randomly on other hot spots on my body till it settles on my right foot. My big toe. It disappears into a tunnel of hot liquid warmth. Alex is sucking it into his mouth. And I love it. Everything starts to glow down there now. There is a fine line of bright sparks making its way to my pussy now. My toe and my pussy become connected as if somebody threw a secret switch. My leg starts twitching from excitement, muscles gently tensing.

His hard cock is twitching on my belly as Alex is lying across my body. I'm biting my lips under the scarf. Moaning as it pleases me. Uninhibited. Pulling wildly into the ropes as they bite back deliciously. I smell his sex. I smell his penis. Feel his hard penis rubbing the skin on my belly somewhere somehow. A familiar contact now. I can "see" his touch on my skin now as little streaks of colored light flash inside my eye lids. Wow. I forget to breathe, I think. Then I stop thinking. The string of intense sensations becomes a fast busy highway at night as I close my eyes. Lights go on and change colors in wicked ways. I moan. I love the sound. So I keep moaning. Feeling the vibrations of my own sound on my naked sweaty skin. Heaven. Going to heaven on a roller coaster.

My toe turns itself into a penis. Wow... Nothing... Ever... Felt... Like... This. Yes! Suck it, brother. Suck it good. Suck this little cock that talks so dirty to my pussy.

I'm flying now. Hands touch my thighs in secret places now. My toe is wet and warm and exited. So is my pussy. Signals travel faster now. Forget to breathe again.

Nerves on my skin are turning into singing sirens. Countless small sensations roll themselves into huge waves that come crushing down on my shore with increasing energy. Till my body finally takes off. Just takes off. I throw myself willingly into a wild stream of liquid warmth and sharp needles as my legs and arms pull recklessly against the ropes. Beaming. Glaring. Gushing. Blasting. I come. All over myself.

The river of warmth finally subsides. I feel like slowly returning into my body. But did I ever leave?

Brother and his stiff cock are sitting between my stretched legs now. His penis seems huge. Veins showing. Throbbing in his charming hand. He takes good care of it. Proudly stroking it. I look into his eyes. Desire looming. I close my eyes. Colored headlights are coming my way again. Wow.

Something nice and warm is touching me between my legs. Where it feels so good. Where I'm so wet and horny. Two fingers I feel. Opening me softly. Something new and very pointy is "writing" mysterious messages around my clit. Mapping out lines of exited nerves. Then the sensation fades. Gentle finger tips open my pussy up and soon I feel the dull tip of the nylon rod slowly traveling up my urethra. Wow.