I look about as normal as anyone else in this world. I work, shop, do aerobics when I can. I have been told that I am attractive, although I try not to let it go to my head. I just turned 22. So what makes me so different? That is simple enough to answer, but still very complicated.

The answer is that I am madly in love with my older brother. I always have been and I always will be. For as long as I can remember he has been there for me and listened to countless hours of my problems and has offered ton's of advice and support. He has never once judged me. Even when I really fucked things up. He was always there with kind words, and a shoulder to cry on. I stayed in school with his support, and even went on to become a nurse.

I have always loved him and it seems like he has always been there. You see, he is technically my half-brother, and he is almost 16 years older than I am. I have seen pictures of him changing my diapers when I was a baby. I remember he always took me with him to run errands. When I was older he took me to parks and carnivals. He even baby sat me when he had other things to do. I remember a few dates he bought me on! And even at that age I remember feeling envious of the women he dated!

He left home at an early age and joined the service, and I wrote to him regularly. When even he came home on leave I made sure I was there to see him. I couldn't wait to hug and kiss him! Rubbing his back and shoulders, just feeling him relax under my touch. It was like magic to me!

He got married in the early 1980's and I went up for his stag party, which really wasn't a stag party at all. It was held in the back yard of his apartment and it was more a block party. I had met his soon to be wife a few times and she was always wonderful to me, and I loved her very much. In fact she was one of the few that I actually thought deserved him! I felt somewhat ashamed that I wanted him so badly and that I was jealous of her.

When they went away on their honey moon, I lie awake in bed and thought of them. He was kissing her passionately, the way I wanted him to kiss me. I knew he would be kissing and sucking her breasts and nipples. I started to get aroused and began to masturbate myself while thinking of them. One hand rubbing my own hot tits and another between my thighs stroking my rapidly moistening slit, I imagined them in every possible position.

I could see them kissing, tongues in each others mouth. I could hear the sighs and gasps. I could see him tracing his hands up and down her body, and then I began to imagine that it was me there with him, clinging to his powerful body. Feeling the rippling of his chest muscles, drawing his nipples into my mouth. I saw myself whispering into his ear how much I loved him and how I would die for him as my fingers slowly wrapped around his beautiful cock and pulled him into the warm confines of my own body. When he told me how much he had always loved me I began to cum, my pussy clenching around his hardness, trying to lock him in me for forever. I always had the most wonderful orgasms thinking of him, but I knew that it would never happen!

In fact he was almost shy around me with certain subjects. It took many years of work to get him to loosen up! But I found as long as I was massaging his back and shoulders that he would tell me anything. I started slowly at first, you know, innocent questions that I knew he could answer. I made a practice of sitting directly behind him when I was rubbing him so that I could whisper into his ear. I knew he could feel my breath and I used the most soothing of tones to keep him calm.

Our family thought it was cute, the time and confidences we would share. The lengthy massages. At family gatherings I would ask him to dance, and when he accepted, which he always did, I pressed my body right up against his! None of that respectful brother/sister at arms length stuff! He never seemed to mind either! I had secretly hoped on more than one occasion that I could make him hard on the dance floor. I had danced with more than a few guys at this point in my life, and they were usually anxious to let it get hard and then press it your belly to let you know! I didn't care too much about most of them, the one I wanted to feel was my big brother, and I could not get him going!

As you might imagine, I had to get more aggressive with him. The massages became a little longer. I told him that it was necessary to straddle his thighs to get more deep pressure. Poor baby was so tense! I invariably felt my pussy become wet each time I came in contact with him. It felt so wonderful to have him finally between my legs, even if he was fully clothed and facing the wrong direction! Still, I was able to move myself enough on the pretense of reaching his shoulders to almost rub myself off.

I felt so wicked rubbing my pussy on his muscular body and just imagining this wild animal I called a brother was my captive! I have taken a few lovers in the past that have strongly resembled him. Black hair and lots of it. A matching beard. The bluest eyes. A large framed powerful build covered by tattoos. He is intimidating to look at, but I know the gentle giant. The others couldn't compare to the real thing!

As much as I enjoyed rubbing myself on him, I didn't dare cum for fear of alerting him to my true feelings. I closed my eyes and imagined myself wrapped around and clinging to his hot body and masturbating myself wildly, that just being near him was enough to make me wild with desire. I had to have him for my own and just had no idea how to do it.

The answer to my prayers came from the most unexpected source. I entered the computer age kicking and screaming the whole way. I finally bought one and was forcing myself to use it. I guess I was doing OK, it's just that I was so terribly bored by it all. I had gone to visit my brother and his family again. One morning while he was showering and the rest of the house was deserted, I wanted to play solitaire. I couldn't find the game, so I went to explorer and started to explore. I was rummaging around for a while and finally found a sub-directory called Pics. I was a little intrigued, thinking that maybe my big brother liked nudie pictures! I wondered what his taste's were, so I opened the directory and clicked on the top file. I was thrilled when the file sprang open and I saw that I was right! There had to be a clue here! I just knew it!

Sure enough! It didn't take me long to figure out that the models all had one thing in common. They all were partially dressed, that is they were in bras, panties, hosiery. Bright colorful clothing, all appearing to be silky smooth. The models themselves appeared to be innocent, like it was the most natural thing in the world to be seen like that. None of it was vulgar, no gaping pussies, no 3 guys and a woman. Just simple poses. Innocent. I could do that! I made about a million mental notes and closed the program before he came out and saw what I was up to. I felt guilty invading his privacy like that, but I was absolutely desperate and did not know how else to do it.

I know what a lot of you are thinking. Perhaps some therapy to get over this obsession?? I know that women don't sleep with their family members a lot in this society. I know that it is about as taboo as you can get. But I never felt that it was abnormal to love him like that. It always felt completely natural to me. I was never molested as a child. I have no personal history of mental illness. Nothing. I just find him to be the most wonderful man I have ever met, and I know that there will never be another. What should I do? Can you control who you love?

The plan I came up with was simple. He had already said that he would accompany me to the mall today since he had the day off and I was up for a visit. Once he was out of the shower, I jumped in after bringing just my undergarments in to the bathroom. The hot water felt wonderful on my body and I felt the tension start to slip away. I made a point of shaving my arms and legs, and even trimmed back the growth on my pussy. My mind was only going in a million different directions. I was incredibly aroused and frightened about what I was about to do, but I knew what I had to do it

I ended the shower and hopped out to dry myself off. I donned my panties and bra and the took a deep breath. I opened the bathroom door and called out to my brother to bring me a towel for my hair. When he arrived back at the door with a towel, I stood demurely with a towel clutched to me and then innocently allowed one end to drop as I reached out to take the other from him. It was such an act, and I almost had myself fooled!

I knew what he saw. For this occasion I had selected a very sheer powder blue bra. I knew my nipples were hard from the oncoming cool air and his gaze dropped immediately to my near exposed breasts. I could see him struggle to take his eyes away but he just couldn't do it, instead they dropped to my matching bikini panties. The towel was long enough to give the impression of modesty but short enough to let him see my panties and that my blonde hair was kept very trim. The whole episode lasted no more than 3 seconds and all I did was watch his face for any reactions. I thought I would faint I was so excited!

I reached out and grasped the towel from his hand and began to make small talk as if I was entirely comfortable with the situation and that my exposure was unintentional. I asked if he wanted to go shopping with me and kill some time at the mall, and I needed a males opinion and all of that. It just rolled off my tongue!

He stammered out a croak which I took for a yes as he was finally able to bring his eyes back to mine. He found me with a smile on my face as if I didn't notice his lingering look. I was secretly thrilled to death of course! I thanked him for the towel and slowly closed the door as if I needed my privacy to continue.

With my back to the now closed door I prayed for my heart to slow before it exploded. I couldn't believe how simple it was and how beautifully it had worked. He didn't run away! He didn't force his eyes to maintain contact with mine! Although the poor baby probably couldn't have if he wanted to! Part of me felt terrible for teasing him, but I wanted him to want me. And now I at least knew that he liked what I looked like! I threw on my make-up and did my hair and then walked back to my room with the towel in place.

I really wanted to get him going, but I had to be careful not to overplay my hand. He's a man, but he's not stupid! We rode along with our usual banter and I restrained myself from doing anything else at this point. I happily noticed he had several quick peeks at my legs! I had worn a modest just above the knee skirt and a blouse. Earth tones look best on me and I felt pretty sexy! We went to a few of the shoe stores inside the mall, and I tried on just a couple of things. I say we, but the truth is closer to I, and I brought him with me! I had fun walking back and forth in front of him. Modeling just for him and him alone. I chose a pair of open toed sandals and asked him what he thought, did they look OK, etcetera! I turned this way and that displaying my foot encased by hose and I thrilled that his eyes followed me around!

Then it was time to move on. I told him that I needed to get another outfit or two for work and I said that I would just be a minute or two. I led him through the store and he patiently waited by the dressing room as I changed into and out of several outfits. I popped out every so often and modeled something for him, occasionally leaving a button or two opened on a blouse, or perhaps a skirt not zippered all the way up. He seemed to be taking it all in stride at this point and I thought that I could safely step it up a notch without scaring him off.

I called out one last time and asked him if he would come over and help me as the zipper seemed to be stuck. I actually had a hard time jamming the damn thing I turned around and presented my backside to him and reminded that he was such a good big brother to be so patient with his hair brained sister. I could feel the fumbling on the zipper as I continued with pointless conversation. I was becoming quite moist from his fingers brushing against my bottom from time to time, and I wanted to close my eyes and enjoy it rather than thinking of something to say!

The clasp had been undone so when the zipper finally went, the skirt fell to the floor. This was much more than I wanted and the squeal that came from my mouth was genuine! Thank God we were alone in the area for the time being. I Knew that my brother had to be shocked by the site of my totally exposed ass, and I could only imagine what was going through his mind as my ass was revealed in it's entirety, only covered by my near transparent panties and pantyhose. I bent over at the waist to reach for the skirt and now knew that he could see my pussy through the silky material.

He began to stammer an apology and moved closer to block the view that onlookers might have received, and as he was moving forward I began to stumble back. He caught me of course and his hands landed squarely on the cheeks of my ass. My breath caught in my throat! Finally!! His hands were on me! And I noticed almost immediately that they stayed there after I had regained my balance! I almost died from the excitement! I had his hands on me and I was loving each second of it and then I felt the most imperceptible squeeze from his finger tips as he asked if I was all right!