Chapter 4: Marital Bondage

"For the past couple of years, my husband and I have experimented with bondage and we both agree that it has added a great deal of spice to our sex life!"

The above statement, by a pretty young woman, demonstrates the growing acceptance of bondage as a form of erotic foreplay by many of today's married couples. As modern couples continue to experiment with wider variations of sexual activity, bondage and other sexual games once thought to be kinky, or even perverse, have enjoyed a surprising surge in popularity. We have already examined some of the reasons underlying this development, and in this chapter we will review this phenomenon specifically within the marital context and with particular reference to situations where the female plays the submissive role.

Although there are a variety of reasons why married couples indulge in bondage activities, there appear to be two principal explanations. In the first place, male-dominant bondage allows the parties to enact erotic fantasies that conform with traditional concepts about the appropriate role for each sex. In a confusing world of changing sexual patterns, women's liberation, and even female domination, male-dominant bondage sessions reassert the old-fashioned concepts that equate femininity and helplessness, masculinity and aggressiveness. Thus, in commenting about their bondage sessions, many married couples make the point that bondage allows them to play traditional roles denied to them in real life. Remarks one young housewife: "Of course, the days when a man could simply hit a woman over the head with a club and drag her off to his cave are long past. But I think a lot of us still have a longing for the cave-man type and the concept of the aggressive man overpowering the female. With my husband and myself, bondage helps us to act out these fantasies. It makes me feel more feminine and I think it makes my husband feel more masculine."

The second principal reason underlying the growing popularity of marital bondage has been the discovery that bondage often works wonders in releasing inhibitions. Even in this relatively enlightened age, many women come from backgrounds that are astonishingly repressive as far as sex is concerned. Such women often develop strong inhibitions about sex, and, when they allow themselves to indulge in sexual activity, they experience correspondingly strong guilt feelings. For such women, bondage provides a neat solution for their problems. Bound in helpless subjugation, they can indulge in various sexual acts with reduced or no feelings of guilt since they can rationalize that they are being forced to submit and have no choice in the matter. This is particularly true with respect to fellatio. Many women with strong inhibitions about oral sex find that they can perform, and even enjoy, fellatio when tightly bound and "forced" to perform the act. Remarks one housewife: "Before discovering bondage, I couldn't possibly have performed fellatio. Now, when I'm trussed up to the point where I can barely budge, I find that it's not only easy but quite enjoyable. But I must have the feeling that I'm being forced to do it."

Another woman described her husband's bondage-fellatio technique as follows: "When my husband decides that a bondage session is in order for me, I must dress only in bra, panties, garter belt, nylon stockings, and high heels. Dressed like that and carrying some clothesline rope for him to tie me up with, I have to report to the living room. My hands and elbows are tied tightly behind my back and my legs are tied at the ankle and knee, leaving me completely helpless.

"I am then placed face-down over a rather long wooden coffee table with my head extending over one end. My husband then sits on a hassock in front of me so that my head is in his lap where I can fellate him. He likes to stretch these sessions out as long as possible, making me use every trick in the book with my mouth and tongue to please him. He keeps his hands on my head so that he can maneuver me as he wishes.

"Believe it or not, I really enjoy being tormented like that. To me, being tied up completely helpless and having my mouth filled with that bone-hard thing of his is terribly exciting. We both enjoy seeing how far I can take it in, and it gets pretty rugged at times. Yes, I always take his climax in my mouth. In fact, he likes for me to leave it in afterward until it really begins to go soft."

The foregoing comments should not be construed to mean that bondage serves to relieve inhibitions only upon the part of the female partner. In fact, many men find that they are able to perform much more adequately sexually when their female partner is in bondage. "My wife and I are both ardent bondage fans," reports one man. "I can be dead tired but the sight of her in scanty attire and tied up in some manner can always get me going."

The following case histories will illustrate the bondage practices of some modern married couples.

Case History No. 5

Sheila and Bryan L. are a married couple living in the Cleveland area. A college graduate of thirty, Bryan is a civil engineer. Sheila is a pretty honey blonde of twenty-seven who works as a fashion coordinator. She has an excellent figure and was a finalist in the Miss Ohio contest several years ago. The two of them have been married for three years.

"Bryan got me started on bondage before we were married," Sheila related. "At first, it was just mild things such as tying my hands behind my back when we were alone together in his car. It was a completely new experience for me, of course, and while it was a little uncomfortable and embarrassing at first, I soon began to find it enjoyable and a little exciting.

"It soon became something of a regular thing for me to be restrained in some manner when we were out on dates together. Some of it was just in fun, of course. For example, sometimes he would take me to a drive-in restaurant with my hands tied behind my back. Despite my protests, he would leave me tied up and would feed me by hand himself. Of course, that always made me feel like a helpless baby.

"And of course sex was involved. When my hands were tied behind me, he always made sure that my skirt was up so that my pantyhose were well on display. Naturally, there was nothing I could do to keep his hands from roaming, and I invariably wound up blushing hotly and having my clothes in complete disarray. Although I'm not exactly the inhibited type, I still found that it was even more exciting to be helpless and unable to resist his advances. Compared with some of the dates I had had, it was nice to feel that I was with a fellow who knew how to master a woman.

"The first time we went all the way together, it was sort of an accident. By that I mean neither of us had actually planned for it to happen that way. it was a warm summer day and we had gone on a picnic together in a rather isolated wooded area near where I lived at the time. I remember that I was wearing just a brief halter, white short shorts, and sandals. Bryan had put some lengths of rope in the picnic basket, and after lunch persuaded me to let him tie me up. He put me in a standing position against the trunk of a tree, tying my wrists together behind me and wrapping the ends of the rope around the trunk of the tree. He then tied my torso to the tree just above and just below my halter, making the ropes quite tight and putting just enough pressure on my breasts to make me squirm a little.

"I guess he had been planning to tie my legs together, but things never got quite that far. I could see that he had a pretty big lump in his pants, and apparently the sight of me all trussed up and vulnerable like that finally got to him. Anyway, the next thing I knew he was unbuttoning my shorts! Of course, I screamed and protested, as any girl would under the circumstances. Remember that it was broad daylight and there was a possibility that anyone could have come upon us.

"Well, despite my screams and protests, I was quickly deprived of my shorts, and there I stood blushing in a very skimpy pair of white panties. I begged Bryan to replace my shorts for me, but instead he promptly began lowering my panties! Of course, I nearly died at that. Screaming and just begging him not to do such a thing to me, I just had to stand there and watch as my panties came down my legs, right off me, and into Bryan's pocket. There I stood, wearing only my halter and sandals!

"Of course, you know what happened next. Despite my blushes, screams, protests, and frantic efforts to break loose, I didn't have a chance. Bryan didn't waste a second getting his pants open, and of course it was standing straight up. Just as if I were some kind of animal, he shoved his hands between my legs and jerked them apart, lifting me right off my feet until my thighs were parallel with the ground. He then stepped between my legs and sat me down on it, real hard!

"Oh, was that ever wild! Of course it was rape, although that word didn't specifically occur to me at the time. Trussed-up like that, I couldn't do a thing to protect myself, and wound up crying and begging Bryan to have mercy on me. He had his hands under my hips by this time and kept moving me up and down, while at the same time vigorously pumping his own hips.

"I was soon nearly out of breath and almost in hysterics. But for some reason, being trussed-up like that and taken in such a brutal, almost savage, manner was wildly exciting. Despite my tears and pleas for mercy, I could feel myself getting more worked up by the moment. It hurt and my whole body ached, but I loved it. I remember thinking that someone might discover us like that and would obviously think that Bryan was raping me, but that thought just seemed to make it all the more exciting.

"We both came to a climax in a short time, and I think my own orgasm was even more intense than his. Bryan was a little sheepish afterward, but I quickly assured him that I really loved it no matter how I had carried on. Of course, after that experience we were really into bondage as a form of erotic foreplay. I started reading up on it so that I could know as much about it as Bryan.

"We began collecting bondage equipment of various types, and I began to experiment with various costumes. Partly I suppose because of that first experience--both of us have a strong preference for outdoor bondage scenes. We have a weekend cottage some miles from town, and we like to get there as often as we can for a bondage weekend. There are some excellent bondage props in the cottage, but we prefer to get outdoors as much as possible. Not only are outdoor scenes attractive, but there's always the possibility that someone will discover us--which I always find very exciting."

Like many bondage fans, Sheila and Bryan like to photograph some of their sessions. Sheila showed me a set of eight outdoor photos taken of her during a recent weekend at their cottage. The photos were so much better than commercially available photos that one could tell at a glance that the two of them were genuine bondage enthusiasts.

In all of the photos, Sheila is fully dressed in long-sleeved blouse with bare midriff, short black pleated skirt, rolled black nylons, and black patent leather pumps with three-inch spike heels. The photos all show her seated on the ground with her hands and elbows tied behind her back, while a scarf gag covers her mouth completely. In some of the photos her legs are free, while in others her ankles are tied in a crossed position.

In a couple of the photos, her knees are also tied together with an additional rope passed under her knees and around the back of her neck, forcing her knees nearly into contact with her chin. In all of the photos, her short black dress has been allowed to ride up over the tops of her rolled black stockings, leaving a glimpse of bare white thigh on view and making a highly appealing display of shapely legs in black nylons and high heels.

"As you can see from the photos," Sheila explained, "we like imaginative costuming. I almost always wear hose and heels, even during outdoor sessions in the woods where it's more than a little difficult to get around on spike heels. Even during very informal sessions when I'm wearing just blouse and shorts, Bryan always insists that I wear high heels.

"If we can't get away to the cottage for the weekend, then we arrange a session at home. I think that all of the furniture in our house has been used as a bondage prop at one time or another. Since I like the sensation of being raped, I am often tied in a position that leaves me vulnerable in one way or another. Sometimes he will tie me and make me wait for what seems like hours, but waiting seems to make it all the more exciting.

"At home, we also do outdoor bondage scenes whenever it's feasible. We have some lawn furniture in back that is ideal for this purpose, and also some trees that we use from time to time. For example, one of his favorite tricks is to take me outdoors on a warm day just at dusk and tie me to one of those trees in a vulnerable position. He then goes away and leaves me by myself, sometimes for an hour or even longer. That's an experience that is not only uncomfortable but a little scary, but there's nothing I can do but wait. His usual practice is to wait until it's really dark and then sneak up and attack me before I realize what's happening. Believe me, that's an experience! Sometimes in the dark I'm not even sure it's him, and it's a good thing I'm always tightly gagged on such occasions or everyone in the neighborhood would hear me screaming. But, no matter how many times we've done it, I still get the wildest orgasms when I'm attacked like that.

"Another bondage game we like to play is called Abduction. To make it more exciting for me, I'm never given any advance notice when he plans one of these sessions. He will suddenly grab me, usually at a time when I don't even realize he's in the house, and quick as a jiffy I'll be tied, gagged, and sometimes even blindfolded. He then dumps me over his shoulder like I'm a sack of flour, hauls me out to the car, and tosses me in the trunk. We then go for a drive out in the country somewhere. Of course, it's pitch-black and uncomfortable in the trunk anyway, and it seems as if he deliberately chooses the roughest country roads and has an absolute genius for hitting every chuckhole in the road. As a result, I get bounced around like a basketball, but of course there isn't a thing I can do to make it easier for myself. When we get to some rural and isolated area, he will stop the car and haul me out of the trunk. Tossing me over his shoulder, he will carry me off someplace where we can't be seen from the road and rape me. Once I remember he positioned me face-down over a tree stump, bared my bottom, and without further ado proceeded to take me from the rear.

"These abduction games involve some really rough bondage and sex, but that makes it more exciting for both of us. We're always trying to think up new games along this line. For example, one time I played the role of the attractive female spy caught by the secret police. That time I wound up supine and spread-eagled on the kitchen table wearing only garter belt and hose, while a sawed-off broomstick served as a dildo as I performed fellatio for him!

"Thus far, the two of us have never attempted to get in touch with others who might share our interests. I'm sure that our ideas are pretty far-out for most people, and I'd like to see the expressions on some of our friends' faces if they discovered some of the things we like to do. But there can be no doubt that bondage and rough sex have added a great deal of spice to our life."

Case History No. 6

Carol P. is a willowy blonde of thirty who lives in a well-to-do suburban area of St. Louis with her husband Jim, an architect. A shapely and vivacious woman who worked as a restaurant hostess prior to her marriage, Carol has been married for four years. She and her husband are dyed-in-the-wool bondage fans and the two of them engage in regular sessions.

With Carol's complete acquiescence, Jim is the dominant member of the twosome. Carol's life is regulated down to the last detail and in ways that other couples would not even consider. For example, Jim is in complete charge of Carol's wardrobe and selects all of her clothing for her. He even has a code of dress regulations that she must abide by at all times. For example, Carol is forbidden to even own a girdle even though she is rather girlishly plump in the hips and, in her opinion at least, needs a girdle at times. Like many men, Jim also has an aversion to pantyhose and requires Carol to wear regular-length stockings and garter belt instead. "As short as skirts are these days, I have to be very careful," Carol says. "But even so, there are times when I just can't help showing hose tops and garters, such as when I'm getting out of the car. Although it's very embarrassing for me, Jim insists that it's really sexy and won't have it any other way."

When the two of them are alone around the house on evenings and weekends, the dress regulations require Carol to go about the house in ultra-short skirts that continually display stocking tops. "I've never really gotten used to the idea of going around with my long legs constantly on display like that." Carol flushed a little as she spoke. "But I must admit that it keeps Jim interested in me."

Around the house, Carol is expected to wait on Jim hand and foot, catering to his every whim no matter how unreasonable it might be. At times, she is required to serve him while fettered in serving shackles. This consists of leather-and-chain hobbles at the ankles and stainless steel cuffs at the wrists. Both the hobbles and the cuffs have ten-inch connecting chains, which permit her to move about and perform any assigned task although she must be careful. Any complaints by Carol on such occasions may result in her serving a sentence in an antique metal scold's bridle that Jim acquired at considerable expense from a private collector.

Another antique bondage device that Jim owns is a chastity belt picked up in England a few years ago. He particularly enjoys making Carol wear it when they go out for an evening. "Deliciously embarrassing is the only way you can describe it," Carol remarked about the chastity belt. "Of course, others don't know I'm wearing it but I'm still very self-conscious about it. And I always have to be careful that the outline of it doesn't show through my clothes."

Along with bondage, the two of them share a mutual interest in dunking. They have an outdoor swimming pool in their backyard that is well secluded and often serves as the stage for their bondage sessions. Jim has even installed lights so that the pool can be used for nighttime bondage sessions. In their garage, he keeps a modern replica of an old-fashioned dunking stool. This consists of a solid wood armchair securely attached to a twelve-foot-long four-by-four. When removed from the garage, the arrangement can be mounted on an inconspicuous platform at the side of the pool where it serves as an efficient dunking stool.

"We've had several interesting episodes with that dunking stool," Carol related. "In fact, the latest occurred just last Saturday and in broad daylight. I had just returned from a shopping trip where I had had my hair done for a party we were going to that night. It was a warm day and I was wearing a light but form-fitting summer dress, beige hose, and white pumps.

"As soon as I got home, Jim called me out to the backyard. When I saw that dunking stool in position at the side of the pool, I knew only too well what he had in mind. Of course, I tried to beg off, telling him among other things that it would simply ruin my new hairdo. But when he has his mind made up on something like that, there really isn't much point arguing with him, and I soon found myself seated in that chair.

"As usual, he tied me securely to the chair with various clothesline ropes. My wrists and arms were tied to the arms of the chair, while my ankles and knees were tied to the front legs of the chair. To make it more embarrassing for me and interesting for him, my dress and white slip were gathered up to the tops of my legs-leaving stocking tops, garters, and bare thighs completely on display. Of course, I kept pleading with him to spare me at least until the party was over, but he wasn't even listening.