Chapter 3: You Impudent Whelp!

July 22, 2002, Saint Petersburg, Russia

🎤 Jesse

The two sips of vodka burned all the way down. I remembered having tried my dad's bourbon and spitting it out when I was four, and I still didn't like alcohol. Dad, Kurt, and Pete had all said it was an 'acquired taste', and Kurt had said he didn't like bourbon until he was in his twenties. Having drunk the two toasts, I moved to the empty chair next to Lieutenant Smirnova.

"You are ice hockey player, yes?" she asked.

"Yes. Goalkeeper."

"You played in Russia five years ago with American team?"

"I did."

"I see this match! You win in extra time! My brother was forward on team. You prevent him from scoring, and he was not happy! I am sure he would wish to meet you! You are in Saint Petersburg for some time?"

"Until Thursday morning."

"If I arrange, you join family for dinner?"

"It would have to be Wednesday evening," I replied. "I have plans tomorrow with my friend Eugen."

"Is German?"

"His father was East German, though his mom is married to a different man now."

"In which hotel do you stay?"

"Nevskij Palace Hotel on Nevsky Prospect."

"I will arrange with parents and brother. I call tomorrow to give details."

"I'll be out, but if you leave a message for 'Steve Adams', I'll get it. That's my dad, and the suite is in his name."

"I do this! Brother will be happy!"

"Did you go to a military academy?" I asked.

"No. I go to university for computers and apply for commission when I graduate. I am signals officer. What year of school are you?"

"I'm a Junior, which is year eleven."

"Then same as brother. You are sixteen or seventeen?"

"Sixteen. My birthday is in February."

"Body of grown man, but still baby!" she teased.

"Young man," I countered. "You have the body of a grown woman but are a baby compared to my grandpa, who is eighty-five!"

"Is old for grandpa to sixteen-year-old. Are you youngest?"

"Eldest," I replied. "Grandpa Adams, my dad's dad, didn't marry until he was forty-four, after serving in the Navy during World War II and working for the US government. He was actually in Russia a few times during the war."

"Was on convoy duty?"

"Yes. He was a Chief Petty Officer who served as Chief Radio Man."

"Ah, so signals, like me, but without computers!"

"I don't think there were girls on his destroyer!" I replied.

"You think girls are weak?"

"Not at all! But, the US military did not have women in any combat roles in World War II. I know the Soviet Union did."

"We must defend homeland against Fascist scourge! Required everyone fight. Was good to coöperate with USA. What does father do?"

"He runs his own computer software and support company. He does business in Russia through a friend in Moscow."

"And you?"

"College in two years, where I'll study business and play hockey. I'll probably end up working for an NHL team."

"Not player?"

"I'm good, but not that good!" then added with a smirk, "I'm better at other things!"

Lieutenant Smirnova laughed, "Big words! But is normal for man to brag about prowess! Most are liar!"

"Well," I smirked, "there is only one way to find out!"

Lieutenant Smirnova laughed heartily, "Is your way of suggesting I go to bed with teenager?"

"You did say I had the body of a man!" I replied.

"You are funny, Jesse Stepanovich!"

That seemed to me to be a polite way to deflect the flirting, so I changed topics.

"Do you like the Army?"

"Yes. Is good job. Father is mechanic; mother is teacher. What does mother do?"

Given what I knew about Russian views on homosexuality, I decided to follow our usual circumspection.

"She's an electrical engineer. She designs test equipment for vehicle and aircraft systems."

"Married to your father?"

"No. They never married. But we live next door to my dad and his wife, and we're all friends."

A bit of obfuscation, but better than creating a scene or causing trouble for my friends «полковник» (polkovnik) Dezhnyov and «подполковник» (podpolkovnik) Konovalov. ("Colonel"; "Lieutenant Colonel")

"You have siblings?"

This is where it would get tricky.

"Yes. Three brothers and three sisters. Dad has had relationships in the past where he had kids and didn't marry the woman. But we're all friends, and everyone gets along."

"Dad is playboy?"

I laughed, "Some people would say that, yes. But he's a really good dad."

"Are siblings on trip?"

"No. Two of my brothers are with their mom and her boyfriend in Spain, and my other brother is visiting his friend in England. Two of my sisters are in Sweden, and the other one is in Cincinnati, Ohio. My mom is visiting Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, with some friends."

"Is very strange arrangement!"

"But it works."

"You have girlfriend?"

"I date, but no steady girlfriend. Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No boyfriend, but I have male friends who are both in Army and not in Army."

"Jesse Stepanovich!" Colonel Dezhnyov called out. "Come speak with other officers! Lieutenant, you are monopolizing our guest!"

All the male officers, which meant everyone except Lieutenant Smirnova, laughed hard.

"Sorry, Colonel!" Lieutenant Smirnova said, but her voice was light.

"Leave a message for me about dinner," I said as I got up to move back to a spot near Lieutenant Colonel Konovalov.

"I will!"

July 23, 2002, Saint Petersburg, Russia

🎤 Jesse

"A lieutenant, Svetlana Aleksandrovna Smirnova, will leave a message for me today," I said to Dad at breakfast. "Her brother was a forward on the team we beat in that impromptu overtime five years ago and wants to meet me. I'll have dinner with him and his parents."

"And your dad can have dinner with the lieutenant!" Aunt Kara teased.

"No," Dad replied quickly. "She's Jesse's friend, so that's not going to happen. I made that promise."

"I'm not Birgit," I chuckled. "I'm not procuring!"

"And neither should she," Dad said firmly. "She and I have talked about that, and I'd appreciate it if you remind her if you think she's doing that."

"On it, Pops! Ashley and I have both been trying to help Birgit color inside the lines!"

"Good luck with THAT!" Suzanne said, causing everyone to laugh.

"It's a tough job, but someone has to do it!" I replied.

"Did you drink last night?" Dad asked.

"Two sips of vodka to make «полковник» (polkovnik) Dezhnyov happy. I still don't like it, but I didn't spit it out and wipe off my tongue!" ("Colonel")

Dad and his wives all laughed.

"When were you going to have dinner with them?" Dad asked.

"Tomorrow night because I'm having dinner with Eugen and his friends tonight. Vera Olegovna made the arrangements for a private room at a restaurant."

"How many young adults?" Dad asked.

I laughed, "Lieutenant Smirnova said I had the body of a grown man, but I was a baby!"

Once again, Dad and his wives laughed.

"What is she?" Dad asked. "About twenty-four?"

"Something like that. She has a degree in computers and is a lieutenant of signals. Anyway, Eugen said there will be about ten besides him and me, mostly guys, but three girls."

"Vera Olegovna is picking you up, right?"

"Yes, at 9:00am. We'll go to their flat, then at 10:00am, we'll go to the park down the street and play football."

"Soccer, right?" Suzanne asked.

"Yes. You don't hang out with Pete's boys, Albert, Matthew, Michael, Nicholas, and me. We call it football, and the other game either NFL football or gridiron football. But we almost never watch it because it gets dumber every year!"

We finished breakfast, and as planned, Vera Olegovna and Eugen arrived just before 9:00am to take me to their flat.

[Cádiz, Spain]
🎤 Matthew

"I wish we could have stayed longer!" Chelsea said as we packed our bags on Monday morning in preparation for our trip back to Chicago.

"Eduardo couldn't take more time off," I said. "He wanted to, but he has a very big deal brewing with a large company in South America and has to be in Buenos Aires this week and Brasilia next week, and then has to be in Miami."

"I can't believe I start college in a month!"

"And I start tenth grade!"

"When will you know the dates for your plays and musicals?"

"I could get them from Mr. Fruits as soon as we get home. He has to have the schedule for the theatre turned in by the end of this month, and I'm sure he has it done. The only production I know about for sure is Les Mis, and that will be when I'm a Senior because the amount of planning was just too much to pull it off this year."

"Is Maggie going to be able to participate?"

"I hope so, but her parents aren't exactly rational."

"None of my Catholic friends' parents are crazy that way."

"My Grandma Adams is," I replied. "And I know she and your mom knew each other back in the day. Grandma was at your mom's wedding to Kent, which is where the trouble started."

"I didn't know that."

"I love you, Chelsea, and I'd really prefer you didn't stir up what might be a hornet's nest."

"Just by asking my mom?"

"What are you going to do if she admits it?"

"Uhm, I'm not sure."

"Nothing," I said firmly. "You aren't going to do anything. And that's why you shouldn't even ask."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I love you," I said. "And you know I don't like to put my foot down, but this time I am. You can't do anything or say anything to anyone, no matter what your mom says, and that includes me. So let it go, don't worry about it, and just be with me. If we can be 'kissing cousins', does it matter what your mom did or didn't do twenty-five years ago?"

"More than kissing!" Chelsea giggled. "Way more!"

"Yes, of course, but we can't advertise that without you, my parents, and Eduardo getting into all kinds of trouble!"

"Old men need to keep their dumb laws off my body!" Chelsea said fiercely.

"In this case, it's on my body," I chuckled. "But I agree."

"All packed?" Eduardo asked, coming to the door of our room in the villa.

"Yes," I replied.

"Then let's get things loaded into the taxi."

[Stockholm, Sweden]
🎤 Birgit

"Can I ask you a question about you and my dad?" I asked Karin in Swedish when we were making «kanelbullar». ("cinnamon buns")

"You can ask, but I might not be able to answer," she replied, continuing in Swedish.

I laughed, "Not about that! I know you did that!"

"What's your question?"

"Dad made a comment about you helping him grow up and implied he was really, hmm, thoughtless about you."

"Your dad never really recovered from my sister's death until after you were born, and even so, he still hasn't, not completely. I don't blame him for what happened, and if there is any real blame, it's your favorite Norse god who thought it would be amusing to throw our entire lives into chaos."

"The storm?"

"Yes. Did your dad mention that at the exact time, there was a terrible thunderstorm in Milford?"

"No! Really?"

"Yes. He felt something terrible had happened, but he had no idea until Melanie told him later that day after Mom called her. I'm just thankful that Mom called Trudy rather than your grandmother."

"My grandmother is a ... well, something I'm not supposed to say."

"I think the polite words in English are 'piece of work'," Karin replied.

"Yes!" I agreed. "Like the sailors saying 'Sir' to an officer when they mean 'fuck you'!"

"About growing up, well, both your dad and I needed to grow up, but also grieve for my sister. Girls usually mature faster than boys, which I suspect you already know!"

"TELL ME ABOUT IT!" I groused. "Though Kjell seems to do OK. I think it's being Swedish rather than American."

"And you and your sister are very mature, even more than some of the Swedish kids. That's your dad's influence, of course. You can refuse to answer, but do you have questions you need answered?"

I couldn't help but laugh hard.

"I'm the daughter of Steve and Kara Adams! What do you think?"

"Never mind!" Karin said, laughing softly. "Maybe I should have Kristian talk to Kjell."

"Got it covered," I giggled. "He does what he's told, like all good boys!"

"And you know that's not the basis for a healthy relationship, right?"

"I do, but it was funny to say. And the people who should know all say you have to talk about it with each other to make it mind-blowing!"

"I'd question two fourteen-year-olds claiming to have had mind-blowing sex, but, as you said, your parents are Steve and Kara!"

"Tell me your time with my dad wasn't mind-blowing! I dare you!"

Karin laughed softly, "No comment! That's off limits, young lady!"

"Which means it was! Anyway, I heard from Aunt Stephanie that you visited the US a couple of times to try to make things work with my dad."

"I did, and he visited here, but there was just too much baggage, as they say. Your dad and I love each other, and we always will, but we both are in the right relationships."

"Obviously!" I declared. "Because otherwise I wouldn't be here!"

Karin laughed, "Somehow, I think Birgit Adams would have been born exactly the way she is, no matter what happened. Even Loki couldn't have prevented that!"

"Dad does say I'm a force of nature!"

"He's not wrong! May I make a private comment, which you should think about but not say to anyone?"

"I reserve the right to discuss it with my friend, Katy."

"Of course. You should consider simply accepting a random host family assignment from YFU rather than request to stay with us."

"Why?"

"Because you'll have much more freedom and not feel obligated to do everything with us. You'll always be welcome here, of course, and we'll see you often, but if you want a full experience like your dad's, you should simply accept a random placement. Obviously, we'll be happy to have you live with us, but I don't think that would be best."

"Kjell might be upset," I replied.

"Do you think Kjell will join a monastery next week?" Karin asked. "Or will you join a convent?"

"No chance!"

"Two years from now, you'll both be different, and the world will be different, or at least look different to you. Maybe you'll end up a couple, maybe you won't, but I don't see Birgit Elizabeth Adams marrying before she's in her late twenties."

"I want to go to college and have fun! Sure, eventually, I'll want kids, but I'm not marrying in my early twenties the way my mom did, or worse, at eighteen like Matthew will!"

"He and his girlfriend are that serious?"

"Since he was five, though he didn't know it! She's a few years older. She starts college next month, and he's in tenth grade. But they'll marry as soon as he finishes High School."

"And Albert?"

"I think not until he graduates from the Naval Academy. I don't think you're allowed to be married if you go there. But I want to graduate, get a job, and enjoy being single! Too many boys, not enough time!"

Karin laughed, "You want to be very careful about birth control and STDs."

"Dad and my moms are adamant about it. Kjell went to have a test before we arrived and I'm on «p-piller»."

"Good. Just remember to always be careful."

"I will!"

"And consider what I said about not staying with us."

"I will."

[Saint Petersburg, Russia]
🎤 Jesse

We had a fun day playing soccer, eating a picnic lunch, then playing more soccer. Only three of the kids besides Eugen spoke English, and only one of them really well, but that didn't interfere with having a good time. Eugen and Iosif translated for those who didn't speak English well or at all, and for me, who spoke no Russian, never having learned as I once thought I would.

Late in the afternoon, everyone went home to shower and change, with me going to Eugen's family's flat with him for my shower and a change of clothes. An hour later, the twelve of us met at the restaurant, where we had a great time eating before heading back to Eugen's family's flat to listen to music, dance, and talk.

With only three girls, mostly we all danced as a group, but on slow songs, the girls chose guys to dance with, being nice about it and including everyone, though one girl, Anastasia, made a point of choosing me four times, the last two times in a row. She danced very close, but because she spoke little English, all we could really do was dance, not talk. That was too bad, as she was a striking blonde, about two inches shorter than me, and was the best soccer player in the group except for Eugen and Iosif.

She chose me for a fifth, and last, dance a few minutes before midnight when everyone would leave. The dance was as close as it could possibly be with our clothes on, her body pressed firmly against mine from shoulders to thighs, and her head on my shoulder. It was obvious she was interested, but without speaking the same language, that created a barrier that I wasn't sure how to overcome.

The other concern was something I'd heard 'Lucy Alexa' and Dad discussing, and that was the fact that there was literally zero sex education in Russian schools and that historically, the main form of birth control was abortion. That had floored me, but I hadn't been in a position to ask questions at Vanya's house, and Lyusya had left for Moscow the following morning.

When the song ended, Anastasia kissed my cheek, a sure indication I was correct in my assessment about her feelings, but there wasn't really anything I could do because from what I'd seen, she spoke no English or perhaps a few words picked up from TV or music. She didn't move right away, so I just waited, not sure what to do until she looked up, and it was clear she wanted a kiss.

I weighed my options and felt a kiss was safe, so I touched my lips to Anastasia's. As we kissed, she tightened her arms around me and pushed her hips forward, making it abundantly clear what was on her mind, and mine, for that matter. But I had no way of communicating with her. We held the kiss for about twenty seconds, then she sighed deeply and put her head on my shoulder again.