Chapter 15: Adios Amigos

A lot of prep work went into having a casual dinner with the country’s President. First, we had to dress up like it was the Marine Corps Ball or something. For me it wasn’t so demanding — a suit, tie, and coat and I was good to go. The day before the soiree, Remi and Lupi were taken out and treated to an entire day of shopping for just the right gown. I had to admit that when I saw her for the first time in a gown fit for Princess Di, I was smitten. Lupi was already the most beautiful woman in the world to me. But when she stepped out wearing her crimson sleeveless ensemble, with all its glitter and sequins, I began to feel more than a little irrelevant. Her hair was done up in our room by a team of hairdressers and beauticians and I sat quietly at the breakfast bar drinking coffee while they transformed her into a Goddess.

Davee came by shortly before we were to be chauffeured to the Quinta de Olivos where El Presidente resided when he was in BA. He was dressed to the nines as usual with an extravagant tuxedo and bow tie. He regarded me like I was something he just stepped in before sniffing and helping himself to a cup of coffee.

When the time came, we were escorted to the Lobby and assisted into a gleaming black limousine. Froggy looked comfortable in his pinstripe Italian suit while Remi reflected sheer elegance in her cream-colored gown and delicately embroidered hijab. She was made up to conceal even the slightest blemish and I gave her a hearty thumbs up as she glanced at me nervously.

It was nearly 10 pm by the time we arrived at the palace and were led into the main ballroom. I couldn’t think of any movie that could have portrayed such utter wealth and excess as what I saw around me that night. Banners, streamers, bunting, and enough flowers to employ a dozen florists. There were ice sculptures and a full string and brass orchestra playing soft local music that you could hear but still talk over, from anywhere in the vast chamber. Our escorts led us about the grand gathering and introduced us to a thousand or so people I forgot as soon as we moved on. The other four seemed to garner the most interest while I stayed in the background as we spent over an hour performing a well-choreographed meet and greet. Davee was austerity itself as he led the two ladies about the place. And Froggy knew more than a few faces as we mingled, from his time here with the Consulate. I was never so happy to be looked over and politely dismissed. I nearly escaped attention altogether as I sidled up to one of the wet bars and ordered two Quilmes (local brew).

“Ah, Senor Bishop! We finally meet at last!” a loud voice boomed from behind me. I turned and found El Presidente himself striding up to greet me with an entourage of officials straggling along behind him. I regarded him like a deer in the headlights as I stood there with a beer in each hand. He clasped both my shoulders in a very familiar way and beamed brightly. He made to shake my hand and I gazed stupidly at my two occupied hands. In a panic, I looked around for an open hand and I pressed one of the beers into it, before realizing that the paw belonged to the man himself. ‘Well ... Fuck!’

He regarded the full beer with an incredulous expression and then let out a roar of approval as he shook my hand. “Indeed!” He laughed riotously and saluted me before taking a huge chug from it. I gaped at him and the stunned faces around us as I meekly lifted my beer and took a strong pull.

“Ahh! That hits the spot, no?” he remarked happily and turned to walk beside me as he led us back through the crowd. I nodded quietly and let him pull me along with his arm over my shoulder. ‘Yeah, this was happening!’

“I am truly blessed, Senor Bishop ... can I call you that? Or do you prefer ‘Gunny’ perhaps?” He paused and regarded me expectantly.

“Uh ... Al, Mr. President. You can just call me Al,” I replied wincing at myself.

“Al it is!” he responded boisterously before pulling me along once more. “I like it ... Al. Simple, to the point, concise, much like your writing style, eh?” He made a fake swing at me. “You pull no punches when you tell your story, do you Al?” We approached a wide terraced dais upon which was the longest banquet table I had ever seen. It was loaded with fine China and crystal as well as endless decorative runners and centerpieces. Dozens of guests were already seated at the table and as one they all stood respectfully as their leader approached with moi in tow. He waved his beer at the gathering. “Be seated, my friends! This is a celebration, not an official bazaar.”

I spotted Lupi, Remi, Davee and Froggy all seated near the end. A gaudy throne-like chair commanded attention at the very head of the table.

“As I was saying, I am blessed because I can speak and read the English language perfectly,” he continued as he escorted me to the very head of the table where he indicated the empty chair beside Lupi. “Thus, I was able to enjoy your ‘Tales from Downrange’ with rapt and captivated pleasure.”

I swallowed and took my seat gingerly as he settled upon his ‘throne’. I was about to thank him but he spared me as he rambled on.

“But soon all of Argentina as well as the entirety of South America and our neighbors to the north — soon all will be able to enjoy your writing in our native tongue!” he bellowed before taking another swig of his beer. “This pleases me greatly!”

I opened my mouth once more, uncertain of protocol or what to even say. But again, I was drowned out by dozens of voices yelling “Hear! Hear!” followed by a round of applause.

“Déjanos comer!” (Let us eat) he roared and the table became alive as an army of uniformed wait staff began loading it down with every kind of food you could imagine. Lupi’s eyes were wide with amazement as she was served sample-sized portions of nearly everything available. I nodded appreciatively as I was served with similar gusto. The rest of the guests turned their attention to their immediate neighbors and conversations became louder.

“So, tell me, Al,” the President said leaning forward. “My friends over at BASI, were able to fix you, no? Your back is it as good as new again?” He didn’t even hint at the scandal that had gripped the media for days.

I nodded, washing down a bite with my beer. “Indeed, sir. I have to say that I may even be better than before.”

“This is amazing, is it not? To be able to perform such miracles of science when one lets the doctors and scientists do what they do without standing on their backs and regulating their every move.”

That was a slippery slope I wanted to avoid so I just nodded and lifted my beer again. “I’ll drink to that.”

He laughed and raised his bottle once more in delight, returning my salute and draining it. He looked about and two more appeared before us before he even spoke.

The evening carried on pleasantly and I was relieved that I was never asked to speak or relive any of my military past as described in my book. The day before, Davee had me autograph (in Spanish) every single copy that he had brought with him, for all the guests who attended the dinner. He helped me write a suitable note on the copy that was presented to the President himself. That copy was presented to the big guy near the end of our dessert course, while the remaining copies were piled onto several tables for guests to claim as they left the party.

If I hadn’t switched to coffee after my second beer, I would’ve fallen asleep in my chair, by the time the party began to fade. It was nearly two am when the President rose and beckoned for the room to attend him. He was well into his cups himself but remained articulate and elegant as he presented me with a stunning gift of his own.

“Senor Alex Bishop, we know well your love for the venerable Colt 1911.45 handgun,” he said eloquently. “Your expertise and acumen with it are widely acknowledged and respected.” Several Army officers in dress uniforms approached and handed him a fine lacquered wood box that he held up for all to see. “Did you know that the fabled 1911 was once manufactured right here in Argentina?”

I did actually.

“I would like to present to you our very own Colt Sistema Model 1927.” He opened the box to show everyone the replica of the American Model 1911. I was stunned as he turned the box back and forth to wild applause before handing it to me. “This was one of the last production guns made from the Colt licensed dies and machines, provided to our country during World War One. It is dated 1965 and was never issued for duty. Those that are graded most exceptional, such as this piece, are reserved for the Presidential Armory.”

My hands shook as I held the box and gazed reverently at the beautiful piece inside. I could see the raised polished brand and logo of EJERCITO ARGENTINO and the serial number etched just above the trigger. I wanted to take it out and hold it just to feel the history that was forged into it, but I refrained. Instead, I ran a finger across the longitudinally grooved mahogany grip. I shook my head in disbelief to be holding so fine a weapon. I looked up and found the entire banquet still and quiet as everyone looked at me.

I glanced back at my host and nodded stupidly. “Mr. President, I um ... I don’t know what to say,” I stammered as I searched for words. “This is a magnificent gift and I am truly honored.”

“Ah, Senor Bishop, the look on your face was thanks enough for me,” he laughed and gave me a bear hug. “Maybe they will let you keep this one, eh?” he murmured in my ear.

“Let them try and take it,” I replied with a grin and he laughed once more, slapping me on the back. I was also presented with the Order of the Liberator which was a very auspicious award with a long ribbon that he removed from its velvet pillow and draped around my neck.

A photographer appeared and snapped several pictures of us holding the prize up and then several more with Lupi and me with the President and then other group shots.

A short while later we were all seated in the back of the limousine and headed back to the Alvear. Remi fell asleep against Froggy who lay back with his eyes closed as well. I felt Lupi droop against me. Only Davee and I remained awake for the return trip. I held the wooden box in my lap and considered the absolute brilliance of the gift and its presentation. I was humbled to my bones at that moment and sighed quietly as I looked out the window at the lights.

“I gotta admit I wasn’t expecting that,” Davee remarked softly, “the old codger outdid himself that time.”

“Man, I’ll say,” I replied, “I’m kind of shocked at the moment.”

“Well, get used to it my friend,” he smiled in the dim glow, “I have a feeling this is only the beginning.”

“I will be happy just to get back home,” I said with a yawn.

“I’ll be happy just to get in bed,” Lupi sighed next to me.

It was awkward and sad parting ways with Danny and Remi. They would remain in Argentina for several more weeks before Froggy would be released from service to the State Department and could travel back to the US. Remi opted to stay with him even though she was now free to enter the US anytime she wanted. I spent a couple of hours with Froggy down in the banquet hall over beers the night before we were scheduled to return. We did a lot of catching up and made plans for future get-togethers. I made him promise to tell me the second he no longer worked for the government, which gave him pause. But he had a quick mind and I could see the gears turning in his head. As a government employee with special clearances, you were absolutely forbidden to accept gifts of any nature, be it a simple gratuity or monetary award. He regarded me shrewdly before tapping my raised bottle in agreement.

“So, you and Remi, eh?” I asked casually.

He nodded and got that ‘look’ on his face that I recognized only too well. I’m sure I had it every time I thought of Lupi. “I think she’s the one Gunny,” he replied and then began nervously peeling the label off his beer bottle. Froggy NEVER peeled labels. “I really do. I can’t understand why the fuck she is so in love with a mutt like me, but who the hell am I to look a gift horse in the mouth? God, man, she’s so beautiful!” Yep, he had it bad. I couldn’t have been happier for him either.

“Did she ever reconsider Dr. Esposito’s offer?” The good doctor felt lower than whale shit when he learned of the circumstances of her stay at BASI. He offered and even begged her to allow him to personally perform the surgeries that she would require to remove the disfiguring scar tissue that she so carefully covered up.

He shook his head. “She’s had her fill of that place and is happy to never set foot there again.” He set aside his empty and grabbed another from the ice barrel between us. “Even Dr. E admitted that the plastic surgeons in the States were more than up to the task of correcting her blemishes. So that is where she wants to do it.” I had already decided that when the time came, I would foot the bill for that.

I slipped a stuffed envelope across the table to him. “Make sure she gets this, okay?” There were no such regulations restricting monetary gifts to plain civilians.

He took it and hefted it in his hand with wide eyes. He had provided more than enough ‘incentive’ payments in his day to guess at the amount. “Bish, what are you about here?”

“Just taking care of my friend,” I mused, “And I know she’ll be well cared for in your hands.”

Normally the transportation of pets is highly regulated and subject to government and FAA jurisdiction — International transportation even more so. But with the right friends and enough local currency, eyes can be turned and pet carriers overlooked as they make their way into the Premium Business Class cabin. Lupi had flown down with Davee and experienced First-Class travel with him. Now she was quite confident in herself as she strode onto the massive plane and followed our attendant to our cubicle. It was quite spacious and allowed us to sit facing each other. When the time came, we could recline our seats into a double bed and the cubicle could be curtained off to provide us privacy. Applejack’s carrier was tucked under the entertainment station where he could rest in his drug-induced sleep for the entire trip. She accepted her complimentary travel bag with the excitement of a teenager and dashed into the head to change into the soft fuzzy pajamas included. When she returned, she insisted I do so as well. I felt like Hugh Hefner afterward, sitting in my ritzy cubicle with a beer in hand while the rest of the little people boarded the jet, like sheep.

Davee was somewhere across from us and a little forward. He boarded with us and carried on with his typical benign smile and carefree attitude. “See ya on the flip side!” he called jauntily as we separated.

For her part, Lupi abhorred the very thought of alcohol and instead sipped contentedly on a hot cup of tea in a fine porcelain cup and saucer. She sighed and burrowed her bare toes into my side. “Isn’t this just wonderful Alex?” she said dreamily. “I could travel like this for the rest of my life!” I couldn’t help but smile at her blissful expression as she reclined and stretched causing her pajama top to stretch provocatively.

“Is it the food or seating?” I asked with a smirk, “Or maybe you just want to enjoy the mile-high club?”

She looked at me questioningly before sitting up and glancing about the cabin. “What do you mean? I didn’t see any club when we flew down here.”

I chewed on the inside of my cheek for a minute before I was composed enough to reply. “Yeah, it’s more of a membership thing,” I said trying to keep a straight face.

“So, you have to be a member to get into the club?” She nearly stood as she looked intently around her. Then she sat back down and grabbed her information placard and flight magazine. Her brow was furrowed as she thumbed through the magazine and flipped the placard over several times. There were tears in my eyes and I quivered with mirth at her antics. I wasn’t prepared when she reached up and pressed the attendant button.

‘Oh shit!’

Our host for the flight was a darkly handsome Latino fellow who exuded testosterone by the buckets. His name was Arturo and he looked like a younger smoldering Antonio Banderas. He knelt beside her and brushed his dark locks aside as he smiled like Zorro, “Yes Senorita, how may I be of assistance <pause to work the eyebrows> to you?”

“Arturo, how do we sign up to become members of your mile-high club?” she asked innocently.

I had covered my face with one hand and struggled unsuccessfully to keep my body from shaking with my laughter. So, I nearly missed the shocked expression on his face as he licked his lips nervously and tried to find the words to answer her.