I was on my umpteenth beer and threw back a gulp of shitty whiskey when I heard her voice, “Is this seat taken?”

I was sitting in front of the firepit in my best friend and boss’s backyard. John’s parties were always the best, but I always sat outside—alone.

She didn’t wait for me to answer and sat on the grass beside me.

My head was spinning, and I looked at her to tell her to let me be. It was no use. I saw her eyes and was lost. I couldn’t have described her face, body, or hair color—I didn’t see past her icy blue eyes.

“You’re John’s friend Marty, right?” She asked. All I could do was nod.

She took the red solo cup of whiskey from my hand and tossed it into the fire.

“I’m Annie,” she said looking at the fire.

“Ah! The infamous Annie,” I sighed and chugged the rest of my Lite beer from Miller.

John’s wife Kelly had been telling me about her friend Annie for a couple of years, since...

“Infamous?” she snorted. “No, just Annie.”

I opened another beer and pulled my long hair out of my face and put it behind my ear.

She took the beer from my hand and tossed it into the fire.

“Why do you keep throwing my drinks away?” I asked still gazing into her eyes.

“I figure your life’s just begun, there’s no reason to end it early with that shit.”

I laughed. “A couple of beers won’t kill me.”

She shrugged her shoulders, and said, “It’s beautiful out here, isn’t it?”

I looked away for the first time and saw the moon reflecting off of the lake in front of us. It would have been beautiful if I could find any beauty outside of her eyes.

“Look, Annie...”

She cut me off, “Let’s take a walk, Marty.”

She stood and held her small hand out to me. As if I were in a trance, I took it and stood. She smiled.

She held my hand as we walked toward the shore. “I love Summer nights,” she sighed.

“Same as any other,” I countered.

She shook her head and kicked off her flip-flop sandals. I couldn’t help but notice her white toenails contrasting against her tanned feet. A stirring I hadn’t felt in a long time made me uncomfortable.

I watched as she dug her toes into the sand.

“I used to be married,” she whispered.

“Me too.”

She nodded. “Life’s unfair, isn’t it?”

I grunted a laugh. “You have no idea.”

She squeezed my hand and said, “Yeah? No, if anyone has an idea, Martin, it’s me.”

“It’s Martin now?” I teased.

Everyone called me Marty.

“I like Martin better.”

“Annie...”

“Shush. Let’s just watch the water for a bit.”

I let her guide me closer to the water and I smiled when the cool water hit her toes and she yelped.

“It’s colder than I expected,” she explained.

The cold water didn’t make her back away. She just wiggled her toes in it.

I didn’t know what to do or say, I just stood there on the beach with her hand in mine. It was the first contact I had with a woman since...

“I saw you play once,” she said quietly.

“Yeah?” I shrugged. I quit my band after...

“You were amazing.”

“We were a good band.”

“No, not the band. You. You were so good.”

I let go of her hand and sat. She sat beside me.

She continued, “Candace was a great singer too. What happened was...”

I jumped up as quickly as my drunk body allowed and tried to walk away.

“Stay,” she begged. “Not talking about it won’t change anything.”

I plopped down and sighed, “Maybe not, but ... where did you see us?” I asked.

We never played in the area where we lived. I was surprised she had seen us.

“Chicago. I used to live there.”

I remembered the only time we played there. We opened up for the current number one Country star just after our single hit the top ten. It was the last time we played, ever.

“Martin, I know,” she said as she took my hand again.

My tears flowed and I looked away. My leg began to hurt in the familiar way I was used to since...

“I wish you still played,” she whispered.

“I have no reason to do it anymore.”

I met Candace when she came into the store where I worked. John owned it and I taught guitar and worked at the counter. I fell in love the moment I saw her.

“I don’t believe that,” Annie said.

I grunted, “You have no idea...”

“Did you see that?” She shrieked. “A fish jumped.”

I looked at the spot where she pointed.

“Martin?”

“Hm?”

“Steve was a good man.”

I looked over and saw the tears on her cheek. I reached over and wiped them with my thumb.

“Your husband?” I asked.

She nodded.

“I never imagined living a life without him.”

“I know the feeling,” I sighed.

She squeezed my hand again, “I know.”

We sat quietly for a few minutes. Both of our tears fell in the silence.

“He never met his son,” she whispered.

I didn’t know what to say. My child never...

“Fucking monsters,” she sobbed.

“What happened?” I asked, then regretted going there.

“IED in Afghanistan.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I told you I knew how it felt.”

I nodded.

“At least you have your son,” I whispered.

My wife Candace was only three months along when it happened.

“I didn’t give up though. I have to push and fight every day,” she countered.

“You have a reason to fight.”

I was too much of a coward to end my own pain. The gun still sat loaded on my nightstand.

“So do you, Martin.”

I laughed and stood. “Nice to finally meet you, Annie.”

The tears flowed as I walked down the beach. She didn’t follow.

I was startled awake by the same nightmare I had every night. It wasn’t as much a nightmare as it was a memory.

I was asleep on our tour bus with my pregnant wife nuzzled into my chest when we were thrown out of the seats. I was only awake for a moment, as the bus rolled. I woke up in a hospital the next day.

My leg was broken in several spots. I had bruises all over my body. My wife and unborn child were dead.

The bus driver fell asleep at the wheel an hour after we left Chicago, headed towards Detroit.

People would go on to say how lucky we were that no one else died. I didn’t feel lucky.

Candace broke her neck, but the rest of us only had minor injuries. They didn’t count my broken heart in the injuries.

I was inconsolable for months. I quit the band and spent all of my time drunk in our empty home.

The band begged me to stay with them and find another singer. I broke a finger when I punched our drummer when he complained that I didn’t want to capitalize on the success our accident bestowed upon us.

It amazed me how much our streams, downloads, and CD sales blew up after the accident. I guess people liked our songs more when our singer, my wife, was dead. It sickened me.

Our top ten song hit number one the week after the accident and stayed there for a month.

The record company threatened to sue me for breach of contract when I told my band I was quitting and to fuck off. They kept after me until I did one interview and told the world what they were trying to force me into. They let me out of the contract with a restriction on coming back to the business.

I wasn’t surprised when most of the public was on my side. People don’t like bullies.

I got out of bed and stumbled into my shitty little kitchen for some coffee and aspirin.

I had neither.

With an anguished groan, I put on some clothes and ventured out into the Sunday morning world.

I walked to the coffee shop near my house and got my usual black coffee and thanked the cashier who always pretends to not recognize me.

“Hello, Martin.”

I spun and saw Annie smiling, sipping her coffee while a little boy ate his lemon bread.

“Hi,” I said and looked at the boy.

“Martin, this is Steve Junior.”

He looked up from his YouTube cartoon and then gave his attention back to the iPad on the table.

I forced a smile and was about to tell her goodbye, but her eyes pulled me in again.

“Please join us,” she begged with an adorable grin.

I sat and took the lid off my wake-up juice.

“I didn’t know you lived in this neighborhood,” she commented.

“I have an apartment up the block.”

“We have a house a couple of blocks the other way.”

Just then, the small boy dropped his bread onto the floor and started crying.

“It’s okay, little man,” I said. “I’ll get you another piece.”

She looked up from picking up the fallen treat, “You don’t...”

“It’s my pleasure.”

I returned and the boy smiled when I handed him his new snack.

“What do you say, Stevie?” She chided.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, bud.”

“I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see you again, Martin.”

“You probably wouldn’t have,” I shrugged.

She frowned, but I knew she understood.

She said, “We like to go to the park after we have our treats. Will you join us?”

I knew I wasn’t getting out of it easily, so I agreed to go along.

“He’s a good kid,” I said as we watched Stevie play with the other children. “You must be a great mom.”

“I do what I can, but it’s hard, you know? My family takes turns babysitting on the days I can’t work from home, but I still struggle sometimes.”

I nodded, not sure what to say.

“What about you, Martin?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you struggle with being a guitar teacher when you could be a superstar?”

I laughed, “Candace was the star. I just wrote the songs and went along for the ride.”

“Are you still writing songs?”

“No. My muse is gone.”

“Will you write a song for me?” She asked.

“I hardly know you.”

She smiled and it unnerved me.

“So? Write me a song anyway. Maybe a song about a mother and son trying to get by in a cruel world.”

“Annie, I don’t know.”

“What? Can’t you do it?”

She was making me angry.

“Well?” She pushed.

I stood and shouted, “I don’t know, all right?”

I threw my arms up in disgust and stormed off.

A song? She wanted me to write a song of all things. How dare she? Did she think they just popped into my head?

How could someone I barely know be so damn pushy? From the first time I met her she tried to manipulate me, and it drove me crazy. Okay, it wasn’t exactly manipulation, but she was still pushy.

I stopped at the liquor store on my way home and bought a bottle of whiskey. I needed to drown myself in amber-colored firewater and forget I ever met Annie.

I woke in my recliner with the familiar pounding in my head. The whiskey bottle was empty, and it looked like I never bothered to use a glass.

I also felt the guitar on my lap. I gently set the expensive vintage Martin on its stand and groaned.

I went to the bathroom and did what we did in there and realized I had a melody floating in my head.

I racked my brain trying to remember if I already wrote it, and if so, when. I couldn’t believe I had done it while I was wasted out of my mind.

I put it out of my mind and got ready for work.

“You look like shit,” John said when he walked into the store. “Rough night?”

“Rough day. You know your friend Annie is a pushy bitch.”

“Don’t ever say something bad about her in my presence again,” he spat. “That woman is a god damned saint, and if I wasn’t married, I’d...”

“Easy, buddy. Sorry if I was too harsh. It’s just, well, she asked me to write her a fucking song.”

“So? Write her a song. You’re the best.”

“I haven’t written a song since Candace died, man.”

“Marty, Annie’s a wonderful woman. Give her a chance.”

“Dude, she doesn’t need my black heart messing up her life.”

John frowned as I walked away.

I was trying to find chords to match the melody in my head when my first lesson walked into the room.

“Hi, Marty.”

“Hi, Liam. How’s it going?”

“Not good. My mom says I can’t do lessons anymore. My dad lost his job again, I guess.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Buddy. I tell you what. I’ll give you lessons for free until your dad finds some work.”

“Really?”

“Sure. It’s just that we can’t do it here. I’ll have to come to your house. I’ll talk to your mom when we’re done.”

“Okay!”

I smiled at his enthusiasm. He was a good kid and had a great aptitude for playing the guitar. I could tell from his clothes and cheap guitar his parents didn’t have much money. I grew up poor, so I knew all too well how tough it was.

“Marty, do you know the song The Heart Won’t Lie?”

I was shocked. That was our hit, but he couldn’t know that.

“I do, why do you ask?”

“My aunt told my mom it’s her favorite song and she’s sad all the time. I wanna play it for her and cheer her up.”

I frowned, and said, “It’s not that hard to play, Liam. I can teach you.”

After the lesson, I walked Liam to the front of the store and saw his mom.

“Hi, Marty. How did it go?” She asked.

“As well as usual; Liam’s a great student. Look, he told me your husband is out of work, and I don’t usually do this, but I’ll give him free lessons until you guys are back on your feet.”

“No, I can’t let you do that.”

“It’s no problem. He’s a good kid and he cares. The only thing is we can’t do it here. I don’t want John to know I’m a decent guy.”

She laughed and said, “I’ll keep your secret, Marty.”

“Good. So, let’s move it to Saturday, ‘cuz I’m off.”

“I don’t know what to say,” she said as she looked like she was going to cry.

“There’s nothing to say. My mom couldn’t afford lessons when I was a kid. I know how hard it is.”

She hugged me and said, “Okay, we’ll see you Saturday. I’ll text you our address.”

I rang the bell of Liam’s home the next Saturday and I almost laughed when the door swung open.

“Hi, Marty. Come on. I’m all set up in the living room.”

“Okay.”

I sat on the couch and smiled when his mom walked into the room.

“Thank you so much, Marty,” she said with a bright smile. “I’m keeping everyone in the basement so you can have some privacy.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Marty,” Liam said. “Can we play The Heart Won’t Lie today? I want to play it for my aunt later.”

“Are you sure? It might take a bit more practice before you get it down.”

“Wait!” He shouted. “Would you play it with me for her. Can you sing? Maybe, you could sing it?”

I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. He was so desperate to make his aunt happy, but I wasn’t ready to do something like that. What if she was a fan and recognized me?

“Liam, I don’t know. How about we practice it and go from there.”

“Okay!”

I could tell he’d been practicing because he played it cleanly.

“Liam, you’ve got it down, Buddy. You don’t need me to play for your aunt.”

“Please, Marty?”

The pleading look in his eyes got to me. I only hoped she didn’t know I was the guy who wrote the song. “All right. Let’s do it.”

He ran away and I heard him stomping on the stairs.

I stood and walked to the bay window. I sighed wondering if I would have had a son as good as Liam.

“Okay, Marty. My aunt is coming up.”

I turned and was shocked to see Annie walk into the room.

“Hello again, Martin.”

“Annie? You’re Liam’s aunt?”

She nodded and sat on the couch.

“I hear Liam is gonna play my favorite song.”

I nodded dumbly, still shocked.

“Come on, Marty,” Liam said.

I sat and Liam began to strum the chords. A tear fell from my eye when I joined in and sang the first verse.

I don’t know how I made it through the song, but my voice didn’t crack until I sang the last line.

“Through it all, look in my eye, and you can see, the heart don’t lie.”

I looked up and Annie was crying.

“You have a beautiful voice, Martin. You should sing more.”

I couldn’t comprehend that Annie was Liam’s aunt. I stood, walked to the door, and left without taking my guitar.

For some reason, I felt set up again.

John called me the next morning when I didn’t show up for work.

“Marty, where are you?”

“I need a day off, John.”

“Marty, I heard about yesterday. Come in. You need to work and get your mind off of...”

“Fuck you, John! I’m not coming in.”

“Marty, come to work.”

“Goodbye, John.”

I just needed to be left alone.

I picked up the Martin and hummed along to some chords that fit the melody in my head.

An hour later, I had a rough instrumental song which was pretty damned good, if I said so myself.

The lyrics were going to be difficult, however. I didn’t know where to begin and I was still shocked I was going to try.

A few hours, and a few crumpled sheets of paper later, my doorbell rang.

I opened it to find Annie standing before me in a pretty yellow sundress.

“Hi, Martin. Can I come in? John told me your address.”

I motioned for her to enter, and she took it upon herself to sit on my couch.

“I’m sorry about yesterday. Of course, I knew Liam was getting lessons from you, but I didn’t expect him to want to cheer me up like that. He’s a good kid that meant well.”

“That he is,” I grumbled.

“I had no intention of coming up to see you. When he said he wanted to play a song for me, I thought you had already left. I didn’t mean to upset you or embarrass you.”

I nodded and asked, “Do you want to get some coffee?”

She smiled, “I’d love to.”

As we walked I asked, “So you live with Liam’s family?”

“No, well sort of,” she sighed. “They moved in with me last year. My sister and her husband have been having it tough for a while. My brother-in-law, Jim, got hurt at work and went on disability. He finally found a desk job he could handle, but he was laid off after a year.”

I opened the door to our cafe for her and she continued, “They lost the house and moved in with me. It’s been difficult as you can imagine, having three additional mouths to feed, and he just got laid off again.”

We ordered and found a table.

“Martin, you giving Liam free lessons means a lot to us. We can’t afford much extra, but we scrimped and saved for Liam to have his lessons in the first place, and I allow myself a weekly cup of fancy coffee. With Jim losing his job again, we had to give even those little things up.”

“Do you need any help? I mean I can...”

“I don’t want your money, Martin. I would love your companionship though. You keep putting up roadblocks to keep me away. I’m beginning to think I’m not as attractive as my mother tells me.”

I laughed, “No, you’re absolutely beautiful. I could look into your eyes all day.”

“Aw, shucks,” she teased.

“I did invite you for coffee. This is pretty much a first date by the rules.”

“What rules?” She asked.

“Don’t you worry about it. I’ll let you know if you break any.”

She giggled and took a sip of her drink.

“What’s Stevie up to?” I asked.

“We call him Steve.”

I shrugged, “I like Stevie, so it’ll stick.”

She shook her head.

“Jim took him and Liam to the park.”

The sudden thought hit me that she was missing time with her son to make sure I was okay.

“I’m sorry, Annie. I’ve been an ass to you, and you deserve better. I promise I’ll be calmer next time you try to impose yourself into my life.”

She giggled again, “Calm? Impose? Okay. I’ll accept calm, but wanting to make sure you don’t die at the bottom of a bottle can hardly be an imposition.”

I looked away to the storefront. I didn’t need to be called out on my bullshit and I was getting angry, but who was I angry at? Me or her?

She continued, “Martin, you need someone to help you grieve.”

“And you want to be that someone?”

“Well, I’ve been through it, but I meant a counselor. I was hoping to be by your side as you get through it.”

“You’re dead set on being in my life aren’t you.”

“Believe it or not, I like what I see so far. Well, besides your flying off the handle all the time. But I know that’s the grief trying to get out. I must have yelled at my sister a hundred times after Steve died.”

“I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship,” I protested.

“Okay. Consider me your new friend with stunning eyes. Except by your rules of dating, we’re on our first date.”

We laughed together and I felt as if a weight had been removed from my shoulders.

After I walked her home, I took her hand and said, “Annie, thanks. I mean it. You deserve far better than me.”

She smiled and kissed my cheek, “I’ll decide what I deserve. You just be the good man I’m convinced you can be.”

I watched her walk up the stairs to her front door and decided that her eyes may not be her best feature.

She turned and smiled when she caught me checking out her beautiful behind.

“I’ll see you around, Martin.”

I smiled and waved as I walked away fighting the urge to get another bottle of whiskey.

“Glad you decided to show up today,” John said when he walked in the shop the next day. “Are you in a better mood?”

“I guess. It was a low blow to send Annie to my apartment though.”

“Dude, she’s got it bad for you and was worried. I guess I talked you up too much and stoked her interest.”

“Maybe. She definitely wants a relationship; I’m just not sure I’m ready for that.”

“Well, if you’d quit drinking, you might find you are.” He shrugged and walked away.

I knew I drank too much, and I knew I had to get under control, or I’d be a goner. I had to find a way to move on that was healthy. I wondered if Annie could really help me do that.

I knew for certain she didn’t deserve to just be a pump and dump for me to get my rocks off. She was a good woman and had a warm heart. I wondered if she were drawn to my pain, not me, and if she would still like me if I were able to move on from Candace.

Certainly, it was a good feeling having coffee with her, first date or not. I wasn’t one of those guys who felt as if he were betraying his dead wife by seeing someone else.

Hell, if she were able, Candace would be haunting me until I found someone else. That didn’t stop me from wishing she were still in my arms every day though.

The following Saturday afternoon, I walked up to Annie’s front door with my beard trimmed, haircut, and neatly dressed.

“Look at you, Martin,” Annie smiled after opening the door. “You look like you got all gussied up for something.”

“Hi, Annie. I just put myself together a bit. I figured it was time to stop looking homeless.”

“Well, I certainly approve. Come on in. Liam’s getting jumpy in the living room.”

“Hey there, Stevie,” I said as the little guy ran up to see who came to the door. “I got something for you.”

Annie’s eyebrow raised up in curiosity as I dug in my bag.

“Here you go.”

I gave him a couple of Hot Wheels race cars and his eyes lit up. He turned and ran from the room.

“Steven, get back in here now!” Annie chastised.

“What, Momma?”

“You forgot to thank Mister Marty for giving you those toys.”

“Thank you, Mister Marty. Bye.”

He ran off again, and I chuckled, “Kids, huh?”

“That was nice of you. He doesn’t get many new ones. Most of the ones he has are hand me downs from Liam.”

“My pleasure,” I smiled. “Well, let’s get this lesson started.”

I noticed Annie paying more attention to me now that she was outed as Liam’s aunt. She brought me a bottle of water once and pretended to be looking for something another time.

Finally, I said, “Annie, if you’d like to keep us company, you can.”

She smiled and sat on the recliner in the far corner of the room.

“Thank you.”

She mostly ignored us, choosing to have her nose in her phone most of the time, so I’m not sure what she was trying to accomplish by being in the room.

Maybe, she wanted to be in there because that’s where I was? That thought made me smile as Liam struggled with the fingering of a difficult chord.

“I can’t do it, Marty,” he groaned in frustration.

“Sure, you can, bud. You just have to keep trying. If you give up because something is too hard, you’ll never accomplish anything.”

“Okay,” he sighed.

“Good. I want you to focus on getting that chord clean when you practice this week. That fingering will open up a bunch of more cool things to play, okay?”

He nodded.

“Okay, times up. I’ll see you next week,” I said and out of the corner of my eye caught Annie trying to hide a smile.

“Are you busy for dinner, Martin?”

“No, I’ve got nothing going.”

“Good, I’ve got a pot roast in the slow cooker. You can have dinner with us.”

I wondered what the fantastic smell was that wafted through the house. It had been making my mouth water.

She said, “Would you like a beer?”

I smiled and said, “No, water would be good though.”

She nodded and walked away.

I knew it was a test, and she made it obvious. After telling me not to drink since the day she met me, offering me a beer was something I didn’t think she’d do.

Stevie came into the room with a shoe box and an armload of Hot Wheels tracks.

“Mister Marty, Mama says you can build a loop dee loop.”

I looked at the shoe box he dropped on my lap, and it was filled with various cars and pieces of track parts.

“Let’s see what we can do,” I said and sat on the floor next to him.

I had him hand me the parts to link the tracks together, then the parts that held the loop. After putting everything together I had him put in the piece that launched the cars, and he gave me a fist bump.

“Give it a try,” I said.

Annie had brought me the water and stood across from us with a wide smile on her face while we were building the loop.

She sat behind me to watch her son play with his cars and touched my shoulder.

I looked back, and she whispered, “Thank you.”

I nodded and went back to watching Stevie enjoy himself.

I got emotional after a few minutes as thoughts of my unborn child flooded my mind. I fought back the tears, and Annie must’ve felt my change in mood as she squeezed my shoulder.

“I’m all right,” I said.

“I know,” she answered. “Just enjoy the happiness you’re giving my child. I know he’s not yours, but we don’t mind you pretending for a little while.”

I said, “Stevie, the cars are doing great, what about the fire truck? Can that do a loop de loop?”

His eyes lit up and he began to try every one that wasn’t a racecar. Tractors, ambulances, he even tried a fighter jet—none made it, most didn’t make it onto the track, but that didn’t stop him nor his giggling when they failed.

Time went by and Stevie got bored. Annie recognized it and said, “Steve, Honey. Clean this up and take it all to your room.”

I began to drop cars into the shoe box, none of them made their way back after they were used, and Annie walked into the kitchen.

“No, don’t!” he shouted when I attempted to take apart the track.

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll carry it whole so you can play with it later.”

He smiled and took the shoe box out of the room.

“He likes you.”

I looked up and saw Liam’s mom standing there.

“He’s a good kid.”

“Yes, he is. You’re good with kids. You’re very patient.”

I chuckled, “It helps if you’re going to teach ‘em how to play guitar.”

“I suppose so. Look, I just wanted to let you know my husband is still looking for work. It’s going to be a while—”

I cut her off, “It’s okay. Now that I found out you’re Annie’s sister I wouldn’t charge you anyway.”

She smiled, “She’s falling for you, you know.”

“I’m kinda falling for her too. I just get in these moods where I don’t know if I should be falling for her.”

“You’ll never find a better woman—well, one who’s available anyway.”

She winked and walked into the kitchen.

Jim made an appearance for dinner, and it was crowded at the table for six. The food looked delicious, however, and I was surprised to see a bottle of wine on the table. Jim had a beer.

“Do you like pot roast, Marty?” Liam asked. “It’s awesome. Auntie makes it for special occasions.”

“Special occasions?” I asked while looking at Annie. She shrugged and poured herself a glass of wine.

I continued, “I happen to love pot roast, Liam, and it smells fantastic.”

“So, you’re in some kind of band?” Jim asked gruffly.

“Not anymore,” I said while handing my plate to Annie to get filled.

He shoveled some potatoes into his mouth and mumbled, “Couldn’t cut it, huh? Don’t sweat it, a lot of people fail in the music business.”

I couldn’t believe he was busting my balls. Regardless of the fact I was giving his kid free lessons, I was a guest in Annie’s house.